Saving Sasuke
by Hatake Satsuki
Summary: While looking to buy some "fun," a bored Kakashi discovered that fun didn't always come in the form you expect. When a street kid with penetrating black eyes happens to catch his eye, Kakashi's world is turned upside down by love. KakaSasu AU Fic
1. Chapter 1

**AN:** This is my first Naruto AU fic. (At least, the first I'm posting here. I have a rather smutty one on my YG account.) I claim no rights to Kakashi and Sasuke, but everyone else is mine, as is the story itself. I just started last night, and since it's been so long since I posted anything, I figured I'd go ahead and post this story as I write it rather than waiting until I finish it as I normally would. Updates will be sporadic, but I can guarantee that feedback will help fuel my muse and get the chapters out faster. Thanks for reading, and enjoy! ;)

**EDIT:** I had a fan of the story over on Y!Gallery point out a plot boo-boo that I've now fixed. (Kakashi forgot to introduce himself, and yet Sasuke knew his name later. Whoopsie!) ;)

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Kakashi leaned his head back against the seat and sighed, wondering if he was just bored, or if the throbbing behind his eyes really was the beginnings of a headache. His life had been in a rut for years, but when you were as rich as he was, you never seemed to mind those ruts. Lately however, Kakashi had begun to find himself growing less and less content with his life. So now, here he was, riding through the part of town that men went to for only one reason. He'd been here quite regularly since he'd turned fifteen, eleven years before. But, for the first time, the prospect of buying his entertainment for the evening only served to annoy him. All of the insipid offerings promised to bore him before he'd even reached home.

Lifting his head and opening his eyes, Kakashi starts to call to his driver and tell him to just drive him back home, when his gaze strayed out the window, catching on an unfamiliar face. Gasping softly, Kakashi leaned closer to the window and called out to his driver, "Stop for a moment, Charles!"

As the limo slid to a halt, Kakashi stared through the tinted windows at the boy struggling through a crowd of prostitutes that seemed determined to give him a hard time. Unable to move, Kakashi watched wide eyed as the boy shoved another boy aside and shouted something at him that was muffled by the thick glass of the windows. Just as he pushed his way free of the crowd and started to trudge off down the sidewalk again, Kakashi pressed the button to lower his window and motioned to catch the boys attention. When the boy glanced over at him, smoldering black eyes immediately caught Kakashi's attention, and pale skin and soft features caught his libido.

"Excuse me," Kakashi called to the boy before he could turn on his way.

"I'm not a fucking prostitute, I'm not even gay. I was just passing through. Find someone else you fucking pervert."

Kakashi blinked, surprised by this outburst, then smiled suddenly and turned his head to address his driver again. "Keep up with him, Charles. I think I've found something worth my while."

As the car began to roll again, Kakashi called out to the boy again. "What's your name?"

The boy halted and spun around to glare at Kakashi again. "Why the hell do you want to know?"

Kakashi grinned at the boy and lounged against the door, peering casually out the open window at him, ignoring the cold air that blew in around him. "Why do you not want me to know?"

"Yeah, why don't you tell him your name, Sas-GAY," came a yell from the boys that had previously been giving the raven-haired youth a hard time.

Kakashi only glances briefly a the group, the single look being enough to dispel the crowd. Turning his gaze back to the boy standing nearby trying to scowl even as a blush lit up his cheeks, Kakashi lifts a single brow and inclines his head toward the boy. "Well?"

"Well what?"

"What's your name?"

Kakashi could see the fight was still in the boy, but he gives in grudgingly. Slumping his shoulders, then hunching against the cold wind, he peers across the short distance that separated them and mumbled, "It's Sasuke. Sasuke Uchiha."

"Well Sasuke Uchiha, it's nice to meet you, I'm Kakashi. Why don't you come get in here out of the cold?" Kakashi laughs at the suspicious look on Sasuke's face, then laughs harder when his laughter turns that suspicious look into a scowl. "I promise I won't do anything you don't want me to. Right now I'm just offering you a chance to get warm while we chat."

Sasuke stands, shoulders hunched against the cold, scowling and still looking suspicious. After a few moments, he glances back over his shoulder in the direction the other boys had moved off in, then turns back and walks over to the limo. Kakashi has the door open before he gets there. He sits back, letting Sasuke slide in, then pulls the door closed and pauses to close the window before leaning back in his seat and smile at the young male sitting in front of him.

"What do you want?"

"You're suspicious. That's really smart of you if you're going to hang around here much."

Sasuke hunched his shoulders again, looking rather uncomfortable. "I don't hang out around here. I was just passing through. There's a shelter a few blocks over that doesn't usually fill up too early. I was on my way there. It's too cold to sleep outside tonight."

"If you don't spend much time in this area, how do those boys know you?"

Sasuke scowls and hunches his shoulders further. "It's hard not to know someone when you live on the streets with them. We go to the same shelters a lot of the time. Why the hell are you so interested in me anyway?"

Kakashi shrugs and lifts a hand to play with his silk tie as he eyes the boy. "Because you are absolutely gorgeous. I need something new in my life because I'm getting bored. I think you'd be very exciting."

Kakashi turns to press the button that closed the divider between his driver and himself, using the opportunity to hide the grin Sasuke's stunned reaction and dark blush had caused. When he has himself under control again, and the divider is closed, he turns back to face Sasuke, smiling pleasantly at the stunned boy.

"Look, I'm not gay, man."

Kakashi chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. "Yes, you told me that already. I am very much gay however, but what I told you before you got into my limo is true. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to."

Sasuke shifts in the seat, clearly nervous. He glances at the door, then back at Kakashi who was fighting greatly not to grin at the boy. "So, then, what the hell do you want with me? I'm not gonna have sex with you, I'm not a prostitute, so..."

Kakashi only smiles as the boy trails off, looking ever more nervous by the second. "How old are you Sasuke?"

Too surprised by the unexpected question, Sasuke answers without thought. "I'm sixteen."

"Sixteen, huh? Isn't that a bit young to be living on the streets? Where's your family?"

The immediate hardening of Sasuke's face and the anger that fills his eyes stuns Kakashi and instantly intrigues him. Leaning forward slightly, he listens intently to Sasuke's nearly growled answer. "My parents are dead. My whole family is dead. My brother lost his fucking mind and killed them all. Mom, Dad, aunts, uncles and cousins. All I have left is his crazy ass, and I don't want him. As far as I'm concerned, I'm the last Uchiha."

Kakashi leans back and stares at the boy for a few moments, thinking about what he'd just said. Slowly, memory slips back in. He'd heard the news stories about that 'shocking tragedy' years before. Frowning slightly, he tilts his head to the side and examines the boy. "That was nearly ten years ago. You couldn't have been more than six or seven when it happened."

"Yeah, so?"

Kakashi pays no attention to the bitterness of the reply as he moves on. "You've been living in the streets since you were seven?" When Sasuke only nods in reply, Kakashi shakes his head and sighs. "You're one tough kid to have survived on the streets this long. But, how did you not wind up in an orphanage, or at least in the foster care system?"

Sasuke smirks and slumps back against the seat, glancing around the interior of the limo for the first time since he'd climbed in. "I just never let them catch me. I'm not going to live in some orphanage with a bunch of whiny little brats, and I don't want to live in a house with strangers that look at me with pity. I don't need or want pity. Shit! You've got a _fridge_ in here? You've got to be loaded!" He turns his attention back to Kakashi and smirks again as he eyes him. "Of course, that fuckin' suit kinda lets me know that you're rich. Even a poor kid from the streets can recognize an expensive suit when he sees one. That didn't come off the rack from no cheap department store."

Smiling, Kakashi nods and straightens the lapels of his suit jacket. "You're right. I get my suits specially made in Italy. I prefer Italian suits to the crap they spawn in this country. And yes, I am quite rich, but I would think the limousine would give that fact away."

Kakashi smiles in amusement at Sasuke as the boy smirks at him again then looks down at his own filthy and worn clothing, picking at one of the many patches. "Yeah, my family was pretty well off too. I think too much money can be just as bad as too little money. I think money is what made my brother snap." Sasuke shrugs uncomfortably then looks up to scowl at Kakashi again. "You never did tell me what you wanted with me since we both know I'm not going to sleep with you."

"I'll tell you what Sasuke, how about I take you somewhere and buy you a hot meal, then I can drop you off at the shelter of your choice."

Looking Suspicious, Sasuke crosses his arms over his chest. "Why? What's in it for you?"

Kakashi chuckles and shrugs his shoulders. "Well, you've just spent twenty minutes talking with me, so for twenty minutes I wasn't bored. It's the first time in a long time I can say that. Now, what do you want to eat? You can have anything you like."

Sasuke doesn't look any less suspicious, but it was clear to Kakashi that the boy wasn't going to pass up the chance at a free meal. "A cheeseburger and fries would be great right about now. I haven't been able to make enough money to buy something like that in a long time."

"Do you want it from any place in particular?" When Sasuke just shakes his head, Kakashi nods and smiles at the boy. Reaching over, he flips a switch and seems to address the air in front of him. "Charles, let's go. My new friend here would like a cheeseburger and some french fries. Anywhere is fine."

"Yes, sir," came the reply from a speaker in the ceiling, making Sasuke jump.

"So, now that we've taken care of getting you something to eat," Kakashi says pleasantly as he reaches over and flips the switch he'd used to speak with his driver, "shall we now discuss which shelter you want me to drop you off at? Or, would you rather come home with me? I'd be happy to let you stay with me as long as you like. You could get a hot shower, and I could have some new clothes bought for you."

Kakashi could see that Sasuke was tempted to accept the offer for just a moment, then he quickly squashed the idea and slouched in the seat, looking anywhere but at the man sitting across from him. "Yeah, just take me to the shelter I was going to anyway. It's on the corner of Ferry and Prince."

Kakashi chuckles at the boy's sudden discomfort and decides that this one was going to be worth fighting for. He wasn't going to stop until he'd won this boy's heart. "Very well, but just remember, if you ever get tired of sleeping on the street or in one of those crowded shelters, the offer stands. You can come stay with me for as long as you like."

Sasuke only stares at him suspiciously for several minutes as Kakashi smiles his most harmless smile, while inside he was bursting with laughter. He'd never met a more suspicious person in his entire life, nor had he met anyone that contradicted himself with his own actions quite so much. Sasuke gave every appearance of being suspicious and uncomfortable, and given his past, Kakashi understood that, but at the same time Kakashi could see the yearning in the boys eyes.

The car stops and still Sasuke only stares suspiciously at Kakashi. Just when he opens his mouth, finally about to reply, there's a tap at the window that makes him jump and utter a startled yip. With all the self control he can muster, Kakashi keeps a straight face as he presses the button to lower the window. He smiles absently at his driver as he takes the offered bag and drink. He nods his thanks to the man, then turns back to Sasuke, holding out the food and drink before turning back to his driver. "Konoha Mission Shelter, Charles. It's on the corner of Ferry and Prince."

Without waiting for a reply, Kakashi presses the button to roll the window back up and turned his attention back to Sasuke who was ravenously tearing into the cheeseburger, a look of pure delight on his face. Kakashi leans back in his seat and just watches the boy make short work of the food, not saying a word until the younger male slumped back in his seat and sighs in relief, popping the can of soda open. "You really shouldn't eat so fast, you'll make yourself sick.

Sasuke just shrugs and chugs half of the soda. When the car stops moving again, Kakashi glances out the window to see they'd arrived at their destination. "We're here, Sasuke. The offer still stands. Come home with me."

Sasuke slides across the seat toward the door, shaking his head, but now only looking mildly suspicious. "Nah, I don't think so. The place is nice enough. Thanks for the chance to warm up, the food and the ride anyway."

Kakashi nods and opens the door, but holds out an arm to stop the boy before he could slide out into the cold. Reaching into a pocket, he pulls out $50 and hands it to the boy without a word, then moves his arm, letting the stunned young man step out onto the sidewalk. He closes the door and watches until Sasuke had stuffed the money away into a safe spot, then disappeared into the shelter. He waits several more minutes to be sure the boy wasn't going to be turned away because the shelter was too full, then flips the switch to address his driver once more. "Let's go home, Charles."


	2. Chapter 2

Sasuke glanced up as a car cruised slowly past him. He frowns at the man looking through the window at him, then hunched his shoulders and ducked his head again, ignoring the man until he got the hint and cruised on by. Moving over to the building he was currently walking past, Sasuke leaned against the filthy stone of the worn out old building and tried to figure out just what he was doing in the area. Glancing to his left at the boys down at the other end of the block, each vying for the attention of the man that had just been looking at Sasuke. Shaking his head in disgust, Sasuke pushes away from the wall and turns back in the direction he'd come, intending to work his way back to the Konoha Mission Shelter.

"Hey Sas-GAY," one of the boys yelled when he was close enough to be noticed and hear their taunts, "what'cha doin' down here? You're not a prostitute, remember?"

Sasuke ignores the mocking tone of voice and brushes past the boy as if he weren't there, but is brought up short when another boy steps in front of him, two of his friends right behind him. Squaring his shoulders, eyes narrowed in defiance, Sasuke lifts his head and looks up at the larger, older boy. "Get out of my way."

"What are you gonna do if I don't? Not a damn thing, that's what! You think you're better than the rest of us, don't you? Well, you're _not_!"

Sasuke scowls at the older boy and hunches his shoulders against a sudden gust of cold wind. "You're right, Sanari, I'm not better than everyone here on the streets. Just you and your loser friends."

Bracing himself for the impact he knew was coming, Sasuke is still caught off guard however at the strength of the punch the older boy delivers. Sasuke staggers back and trips, falling to his butt, the air whooshing out of his lungs. He sits on the ground stunned until he feels Sanari's hands curl in the front of his worn out, age thinned jacket. Sasuke's mind screams curses when he hears the weak material give way under the assault, tearing loudly. He blinks his eyes and looks into Sanari's red face as air finally begins to move freely in and out of his lungs.

"What did you say to me you little bastard?"

"Bastard? Me? Hardly. My parents were married. _You_ are the bastard, son of a prostitute and all."

Again Sasuke braces himself for another blow, but when one doesn't come, he opens his eyes in surprise. The look of rage on Sanari's face was enough to send an icy spike of fear through Sasuke's heart. He opens his mouth to say something, though he can't think of a thing he could say the would save him now. Terrified that he's about to die, Sasuke begins to shake. When Sanari only continues to stand glaring down at him, Sasuke's fear begins to lessen, though it never goes completely away. Just when he thinks he just might live through this encounter, he feels his feet leave the ground as Sanari lifts him by the front of his jacket, ripping it further. He has only an instant to wonder what the older boy was going to do to him before he feels the air begin flowing past him. It clicks in his mind that he's been thrown an instant before he slams into the wall of the nearest building. Not having had any time to brace for the impact, Sasuke hits the wall loosely, his head whipping back to crack against the stone, sending gray waves across his vision as he falls to the ground in a slump. Fighting to hold on to consciousness, not wanting to sleep through his death, Sasuke fights the gray waves that filled his vision, and the nausea that was building up just ahead of the pain that seemed to cover every single inch of his body. Losing his fight to hold on to awareness, the last thing Sasuke feels before he slides down into that gray fog is something warm and wet sliding down the back of his neck.

Sasuke tries to claw his way through that thick, gray fog that had enfolded him. He was moving, he could feel it, and that confused him, because he could also feel that he was still laying down. He hears a deep voice coming through the fog. He was just about to grasp the memory of who that voice belonged to when the fog roiled up and claimed him again. Just before he slipped back into unconsciousness, Sasuke heard that anxious voice calling out to him, "Hang in there, Sasuke, we're almost there. Just hold on a little longer."

When Sasuke manages to pull himself back to consciousness, the first thing he notices is that he's no longer hurting all over. There seemed to be some kind of warm blanket wrapped around the inside of his body. When he shifted slightly, he realized he was in a bed. His first thought was that he had somehow gotten back to the shelter, but he quickly dismissed that notion because the bed didn't feel right. It wasn't lumpy and it didn't have a funny smell to it. When he tried to move his arm to rub his dry eyes, Sasuke feels a surge of panic when he can't move it. His eyes fly open and he groans as bright light stabs into them, making his head instantly begin to throb. When he hears movement next to him, Sasuke opens his eyes to slits and looks around without moving his head.

"Sasuke? Are you awake?"

Recognizing the voice as the one he'd heard the last time he'd managed to claw his way back to consciousness, Sasuke rolls his eyes to the side. The moment his eyes settle on the concerned face framed by silver hair, Sasuke remembers who the voice belonged to. Closing his eyes again, he can only manage to breathe the older man's name, "Kakashi..."

Hearing a relieved sigh from beside him, Sasuke forces his eyes open again and glances over at him. "Kakashi," he manages in a steadier, and slightly louder voice, "what's going on? Where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. Don't try to move. Nothing is broken, but they don't want you to move anymore than you need to for a day or two. Your arm is strapped to a board to keep you from accidentally pulling the IV out."

Sasuke frowns in confusion and looks around the room again, finally able to recognize it for what it is. "What happened? Why am I in the hospital?"

Kakashi frowns down at him and sits carefully on the edge of the bed so that Sasuke could look at him easier. "You don't remember? Well, the doctor said you might not. Apparently you had a run-in with somebody and took a pretty good beating. A little blonde haired kid, about your age I'd guess, found me. I'm still not sure how, but he tracked me down. He got word to me that you'd been beat up pretty badly. He gave me directions to where you'd been left, then he vanished. When I got there you were laying on the ground, unconscious and bleeding from the back of your head. My driver and I got you into my limo and I held a towel to the back of your head as we drove to the emergency room.

"They said you were already starting to go into shock, and that if I hadn't found you when I did, you could very easily have died out there."

Sasuke frowns when the older man shudders and something that looked very much like fear slid through his eyes. Turning his head away, Sasuke closes his eyes again, instantly feeling relief now that the bright light of the hospital room wasn't stabbing into this eyes. Frowning, he thinks about everything he'd just been told, trying to remember what happened, and not being able to. Sighing in frustration, Sasuke lets it go and concentrates on the boy that had tracked down Kakashi. He had a pretty good idea who it was since he didn't have very many people on the street that he'd consider a friend, or at least something close to that.

Without opening his eyes, Sasuke turns his head in Kakashi's direction when he speaks. "The last thing I remember is walking. I was going through the area where we first met." Sasuke pauses then frowns, forcing himself to full honesty. "I was kind of hoping I'd run into you again. I've been going through there a lot since that night, but you never came back. It was still pretty early. I'd just finished a job I'd managed to pick up, and I was taking the long route back to Konoha so I could look for you. I'm not sure why I wanted to find you, other than to say thanks again for the food and the ride, and especially thanks for the money."

Suddenly embarrassed by this detailed confession that he'd never planned to make, Sasuke rushes on to change the subject. "Did the boy that found you have on an orange and black jacket?"

Sasuke hears a sound next to him and slits his eyes open again so see Kakashi nodding. There was a strange look in his eyes, a color forming high on his cheeks that Sasuke almost thought might be a blush, but the older man seemed willing to allow Sasuke to change the subject, and Sasuke was relieved. Smiling faintly, Sasuke closes his eyes again. "That was Naruto. I've known him since I first hit the streets. He'd been on the streets himself for about a year by the time I came along. His parents died right after he was born. He was shuffled from home to home after that. He was a bit of a trouble maker from the time he could walk, so he never stayed in one place for long. Finally, when he was about six, he got tired of it and just took off on his own. He was the one that helped me figure out how to survive on the streets, and how to hide from the damn do-gooders that wanted to put me in some damn orphanage or another. I guess I'd say he's my best friend."

Sasuke felt Kakashi lean over him, but he didn't open his eyes to look at him again. "I'd say he is your best friend. You owe him. He saved your life last night."

"Again you mean. He saved my life ten years ago when I first hit the streets." Sasuke pauses and frowns when he realizes what Kakashi had just said. Opening his eyes again, he looks up at Kakashi. "Last night? What time is it?"

"Around ten in the morning. You've been here for about twelve hours now."

Closing his eyes again, Sasuke curses sharply. "How the hell am I going to pay for a hospital bill that big? I don't want to have to turn to prostitution. I've managed to avoid it all these years, I don't want to have to start now, damnit!"

Sasuke could hear the frown in the older man's voice when he replied. "You don't need to worry about the hospital bill, I'm going to pay it. And don't bother arguing with me about it, because it won't do you any good."

Suddenly exhausted, Sasuke decided that arguing at the moment was out of the question. Yawning, Sasuke winces at the pain that flares through his head and groans again. "Yeah, I hurt too much to argue with you now anyway."

Sasuke felt the bed shift again, then after a moment there was a burning up the length of his arm, followed instantly by relief so acute, he nearly moaned. Cracking his eyes one last time, Sasuke glances over at Kakashi just in time to see him lay a small object connected by a wire to some machine next to his bed back on top of the machine. When he turns back and smiles at Sasuke he begins to blur and Sasuke sighs in relief as the blackness comes to claim him once more. Just before he slips completely under, he feels a warm pressure against his forehead. He tries to flutter his eyes open, to see if Kakashi was leaning over him because it felt quite a bit like he'd just been kissed by the older man, but he gives up the effort, suddenly too tired for so much work. The last thing he hears before the blackness claims him is the older man whispering, "Don't worry Sasuke, I'll take care of you."


	3. Chapter 3

Kakashi jerks awake when he hears a noise, his gaze immediately going over to the sleeping form in the bed he sat next to. Seeing that Sasuke was still soundly asleep, he turns his head in the direction of the door, relaxing when he sees a nurse standing there smiling at him and shaking her head in amusement and some concern. Kakashi shakes his own head and rubs his face, trying to wake himself up. He slumps back in the chair and watches the nurse as she goes about her job, checking Sasuke's vital signs, his IV and other things that Kakashi didn't know anything about. He smiles winningly at her when she finally turns to face him again, her job finished. He knew what was coming, and he was ready for it.

"Mr. Hatake, you really should go home and get some sleep. I don't think you've slept more than a few minutes at a time for the past two days. I'm sure the boy appreciates your concern, but really, he's going to be ok now, there's nothing to worry about. Besides, what good are you going to be to him when he's released if you're exhausted?"

Kakashi was shaking his head before the woman even had a chance to finish her speech. Pushing himself up from the chair, Kakashi steps over to the bed and looks down at the bruised, but peacefully sleeping boy. He reaches out a hand and strokes his fingertips tenderly down the boy's cheek. "No, I'm not leaving his side. What if he wakes up while I'm gone?"

"Honestly, Mr. Hatake, it's the middle of the night. His concussion is gone, so he doesn't need to be woken throughout the night. He'll sleep through the night and likely well into tomorrow morning. You could easily go home, have a decent meal and a shower and get a good night of sleep and still be back here before he wakes in the morning."

Yawning, Kakashi turns back to smile at the nurse once more. "I know you're right of course, but I just can't bring myself to leave him." Frowning, Kakashi turns back to look down at Sasuke once more before he continues, quietly. "It was so frightening, finding him like that. When I first saw him, I thought he was already dead. I thought I was too late and it tore my heart out. I guess now I need to stay close, so I can keep looking at him, keep reminding myself that he _is_ still alive, that he _is_ ok."

"And what do you think _he_ would say if he knew you were doing this to yourself?"

Kakashi considers this for several minutes. He really didn't know the boy that well yet. They had been getting to know one another when Sasuke was awake, but they were still essentially strangers to each other. Kakashi sighs, his shoulders slumping as he turns back to the nurse, a rueful smile on his face. "He wouldn't be happy, that's for sure. Ok, ok, you win."

Sighing in resignation, Kakashi turns back around to look down at Sasuke sleeping peacefully. When he hears the door open and close behind him, he sits down lightly on the edge of the bed, careful not to wake Sasuke. He reaches out and brushes fingertips down his cheek again, then leans in and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. When he stands back up, he frowns and walks over to the chair, checking the pockets of his jacket. Pulling out a pen and a folded bit of paper, Kakashi jots a note for Sasuke, letting him know where he was going and that he'd be back first thing in the morning. Tucking the pen away, Kakashi sets the note on the chair he'd been sitting in, propped up where he was sure Sasuke would be able to see if from the bed if he should happen to wake up before Kakashi returned in the morning. He gives Sasuke one last look, then grabs his jacket and heads out the door, already thinking about his bed and sleep that he'd been denying himself for nearly three days.

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When Kakashi walked back into Sasuke's hospital room the next morning, he's stunned to find he bed empty. Panic wells up in him and he quickly pushes it back down, not letting himself jump to any wild conclusions. Instead, he turns and walks straight back out the door and down the hall to the nurses' station. By the time he gets there, his heart had calmed to a normal pace. He stands quietly, waiting patiently for the woman behind the counter to finish what she was doing and look up at him smiling. As soon as she realizes who she's looking at, the smile wilts a bit around the edges, and Kakashi has to squash another spurt of unreasoning panic.

"Mr. Hatake, we've been waiting for you. Sasuke checked himself out first thing this morning, though the doctors wanted him to stay for at least one more day. He wouldn't hear of it however. He insisted he was fine and checked himself out. He did leave you a note though."

Kakashi stares numbly at the folded piece of paper the nurse was holding out to him. Slowly he reaches out and takes the note and nods his thanks to the woman. He tucks the paper into his pocket without even looking at it, then turns and walks down the hall. He pulls the note out of his pocket in the elevator on the way down, but tucks it back into his pocket without reading it as the elevator slides to a stop. He shakes his head as he steps out the open doors and moves through the lobby. He glances up as he steps outside and finds his driver waiting for him, the door to his limo open. He takes a moment to appreciate the fact that Charles always seemed to know just when to be ready for him.

Sliding into the limo, Kakashi leans his head back against the seat until he feels the car begin to move. Taking a deep breath he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the note. Frowning, he unfolds it slowly, already deciding his next move even before he'd read the first word. He takes a moment to smile at the sloppy penmanship of the boy, though he's mildly surprised to find that in spite of the bad handwriting, and his upbringing on the streets, Sasuke seemed to have proper grammar and spelling.

With an exasperated sigh, Kakashi reads the words left for him:

_Kakashi,_

_Thank you for saving me. Thank you for offering to pay the hospital bill for me. Most of all, thank you for being there for me each time I woke up over the past few days. The nurses tell me that you never once left my side until last night when they finally managed to convince you to go home and actually sleep. If I'd known you were staying here the entire time and not sleeping, I'd have told you sooner to go home, you idiot. What good does it do to sit awake for days on end? Really, I thought you were smarter than that. I admit I don't know you that well, but from what I do know I figured you to be a smarter man than that._

_Ok, I'm getting distracted, sorry. Let me get back to my point. While I appreciate everything you've done for me, I think you've done too much. You don't even really know me. I don't understand why you want to do all of this for me, but I'm sure you have your reasons. I'll gladly accept the help you've offered, but I want you to know that I plan on finding work as soon as I can, and eventually I'm going to pay you back every single cent that you're having to shell out to pay the hospital for my care. It's not right for you to pay this bill, so I'm not going to let you._

_Yeah, I'm arguing with you in the only way I knew I had a chance of winning. I knew if I argued with you in person you'd never listen and I'd get frustrated and eventually give in. Doing it this way, I can do what I think needs to be done, and you can't argue with me, or stop me. I know how to find you now, so when I have money for you, I'll come find you. Thanks again, for everything._

_Sasuke_

Kakashi drops the note into his lap, a mixture of amusement, frustration and sadness scrambling around inside of him. With a sigh, he turns his head to look out the window, not really seeing any of the scenery that rolled past. After a few minutes he reaches out and presses the button to lower the divider between himself and his driver. "Charles, I've got to find him. I've got to be sure he's ok since he left the hospital before the doctors said he should. He can't have gotten very far yet, let's check this area first. Head back toward the Konoha Shelter, I'm sure that's where he's likely to go."

After an hour of searching the area between the hospital and the shelter turned up nothing, frustration drove Kakashi to cursing. He leaned back in his seat, staring unseeing up at the ceiling of the limo as he tried to consider where he was most likely to find the boy. Remembering something Sasuke had said the first time he woke up in the hospital, Kakashi sits up quickly and leans forward. "Charles! Take me down to the Strip! He said he had been looking for me the night he was attacked. Maybe we can find him down in that area again."

It was a slim hope to cling to, but Kakashi couldn't let it go. When they arrived a few minutes later, he was dismayed, but not surprised to find the area mostly deserted. Most of the boys didn't come out to do their work until the evening. Kakashi looks at every face he sees none-the-less, just to be sure, and when none of the faces have the smoldering black eyes that haunted his dreams, he slumps back in his seat, defeated. Leaning his head against the window, Kakashi orders his driver to take him home, suddenly exhausted again, he'd run out of heart to search any more. As they were driving along, a familiar blonde head catches Kakashi's attention and he sits up, calling for his driver to stop even as he begins to roll the window down.

"Naruto! Hey, Naruto!"

When the blonde headed boy turned startled blue eyes on him, Kakashi motions the boy over to the limo. "I need to talk to you, could I have a minute?"

"Yeah, sure, but..." The boy trails off, clearly confused until he gets closer. Kakashi sees the moment the boy remembers him. "Oh! You're that rich guy that saved Sasuke! Thanks for that man. I wanted to help him when Sanari beat the crap out of him, but if I'd interfered he'd have kicked my ass too, then we'd both be in trouble. One of these days though, I'm gonna get strong enough to beat Sanari and he's gonna stop bullying all the kids around here."

"Sanari? That's the name of the guy that did that to Sasuke? Can you tell me where I can find him?"

Naruto took one look at the grim look on Kakashi's face and shakes his head quickly. "Uh-uh, man. No way! If Sanari found out I ratted him out to someone he'd _kill_ me! It was a big risk for me to do what I did when I went and found you to help Sasuke. Luckily Sanari never figured out who it was, so I'm safe."

Kakashi just frowns at the boy. He considers arguing with him, but the stubborn set of the boy's features told him he'd be wasting his time. "Ok, fine. That's not really what I wanted anyway. Look, Sasuke checked himself out of the hospital this morning before the doctors thought he should. I'd gone home to get a quick nap and a shower, so I wasn't there when he left. I was hoping you could tell me where I could find him."

"Sasuke's out of the hospital? Well, that's good news I guess. I mean, at least he's better enough to be up and around. I haven't seen him though."

Kakashi notices that the boy hadn't quite answered the question he'd asked, but he let it go. It was pretty clear that Naruto was protecting his friend, at least until he'd had a chance to talk to him and find out what he wanted. Kakashi smiles slightly, feeling a bit relieved that Sasuke had someone that cared enough for him to protect him the best that he could. "Ok, well, thanks anyway. Could I get you to do me a favor?"

Naruto backs up a step and considers Kakashi gravely for a moment, then shrugs. "Depends on what you want."

Kakashi smiles again and shrugs his shoulders as well. "I just wanted to get a message to Sasuke if you don't mind."

"Oh, sure, I can do that!"

"Great, thanks! When you run into him, tell him that I got his note, and he's right, I am going to argue with him. Don't worry, he'll know what you're talking about. And tell him that if he ever needs me for anything he only has to let me know. You remember where I live, right? Good, when you see him, could you give him directions so he could find me if he needs me?"

"Sure, I can do that. Why are you so interested in Sasuke anyway?"

Kakashi shrugs, a rueful smile on his face. "The boy calls out to my heart. I can't get him out of my thoughts."

Naruto narrows his eyes at Kakashi, then leans back and grins. "Yeah, you're in love with him, aren't ya? That's cool. I can't blame you for that. Sasuke's a great guy."

Kakashi chuckles and shakes his head. "Thanks Naruto. And if you ever need anything either, you just let me know, ok? I really owe you for what you did for Sasuke, and what you're doing for me now."

Naruto shrugs and leans back, arms behind his head as if he were stretching. "I'd do anything for Sasuke. He's my friend."

Kakashi just nods and thanks the boy again, and waves as he slips off to continue his life. Closing the window once more, he leans back in the seat and sighs, feeling slightly relieved knowing that Naruto was going to be looking after Sasuke, though he wasn't sure why that should relieve him so. Smiling tiredly, Kakashi settles back comfortably in this seat and calls to his driver, "Ok Charles, let's head back home."


	4. Chapter 4

"Sasuke!"

Sasuke's heart leaps into his throat and he instantly grows angry, not willing to spend the rest of his life walking around in fear. He still didn't remember exactly what happened, but he'd been told by Kakashi what Naruto had told him; he'd taken a pretty severe beating and was left laying in an alley bleeding. That was enough to let Sasuke know that there was someone out there that wanted to hurt him, and not knowing who it was made him jumpy. Sasuke didn't like being jumpy. Turning around with a scowl on his face, Sasuke glances around to see who had called his name. When his gaze settles on the boy waving as he ran toward him, Sasuke relaxed.

"Hey Naruto. I hear I owe you my life."

Sasuke watches the embarrassment and modesty slide over his best friend's features and feels himself grinning in spite of himself. He waits until the other boy runs up and stop in front of him, panting from what must have been a long run. When Naruto recovers, Sasuke crosses his arms over his chest and frowns. "Ok, now tell me what the hell happened."

"What happened with what?"

"Don't hand me that shit, Naruto, you know damn well what I mean."

Naruto sighs and frowns at Sasuke. "You don't remember any of it?"

Sasuke shakes his head and frowns himself, trying to will himself to remember. "The last thing I remember clearly was walking around down on the Strip, hoping to run in to Kakashi again." Sasuke tries to ignore the heat creeping up his cheeks and hurries on. "Then I have a vague memory of moving, except I was laying down and hearing Kakashi's voice. He told me that I fluttered my eyes open once in his limo on the way to the hospital and that's probably what I was remembering. My first clear memory was waking up in the hospital and feeling like someone had wrapped my insides in some warm cloth. And the damn lights made my head feel like splitting open. Man I hated that."

Naruto watches Sasuke for a moment, clearly trying to come to some kind of decision. When he finally sighs, his shoulders slumping, Sasuke relaxes knowing he was finally going to get the answers that he'd been wanting since he first woke up in that hospital bed. "It was Sanari, Sanari kicked your ass."

Sasuke scowls and hunches his shoulders, muttering, "Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Naruto continues as if Sasuke hadn't even spoken, but he was frowning slightly. "He started his usual shit and you mouthed off to him and he got pissed and punched you. When you got back up, I guess you were pissed about being hit because then you _really_ mouthed off to him. He called you a bastard and you told him your parents were married and that _he_ was the real bastard since he was the son of a prostitute and all, and he just lost it. I thought for sure he was going to kill you. He threw you against a wall and you just kinda sagged to the ground, but I could see you were fighting to stay conscious. I guess Sanari saw it too because he really got pissed then. He went over and started kicking you again and again. He started in your stomach and ribs, but when you finally passed out, he started kicking you in the head.

"I don't know what made him stop, except that maybe he thought you were dead. He just walked away and all of his little cronies followed after him. Most of the other guys took off too, they didn't want to be around if you died. I checked and you were still breathing, so I grabbed you and pulled you into an alley, hiding you in case Sanari came back to make sure you were dead or something. I took off running then. I was trying to find a cop somewhere to get you some help, but I couldn't find any. Those assholes are always around unless you need them. Then, I just remembered you telling me about some rich guy named Kakashi wanting to take you in, and I thought if I could find him, he'd be able to help you. So, I asked around and some of the guys that he'd picked up before were able to tell me his last name because they heard his driver call him 'Mr. Hatake.' Then it was just a matter of finding a pay phone. I got his address out of the phone book. I didn't really expect his number to be listed, but it was. I was gonna call him, but I didn't have any change on me, so I just ran. Man, do you know how far it is to the rich side of town? I thought I was going to be running forever.

"Finally I got there though, but they wouldn't let me in to see him. So I told the guy that answered the door to tell his boss that 'Sasuke's hurt really bad. He needs help.' He said he'd deliver my message, but I wasn't sure he was going to with the way he was looking at me. Asshole. So, I took off again. I was gonna try again to find a cop. I hadn't even made it to the end of the driveway when I heard someone calling to me. I looked back and he was standing at the head of the driveway waving at me to come back. I went back up to him and told him that you'd been beaten up and were bleeding really bad and I wasn't sure if you were going to live or not. Then I asked him to help you and told him where I'd hidden you and left. He wanted to take me with him, but I just wanted to walk. I wanted to take my time about getting back to our side of town in case someone told Sanari that I was trying to help you. I didn't want him killing me too. So, that's what happened. You really don't remember anything?"

Sasuke leans back, stunned by the story. He glances around and spots a bench at a nearby bus stop. Moving numbly, he walks over to the bench and sinks down on the edge of it. Looking back at Naruto he shakes his head slowly, then wipes his hands over his face, ignoring the pain from the bruises that colored his face. "No, I don't remember anything more than what I told you. The doctor at the hospital told me that I probably wouldn't remember what happened. Something about a head trauma and some other shit I didn't understand, so I just stopped listening." Sasuke falls silent for a moment, then shudders knowing now just how much trouble he was in. "Shit man, Sanari? Sanari's after me? What the hell am I going to do?"

Naruto shrugs and sits down next to Sasuke on the bench. "Try to stay out of his way. You know where he always is, so you shouldn't have too much trouble avoiding him. Or, you could always take that guy up on his offer."

Sasuke frowns, distracted by his own thoughts. "What guy?"

"That Kakashi guy that saved you. You said he offered to take you in. Why not go live with him?"

Sasuke pulls back from his thoughts and frowns at his friend. "Are you serious?"

Naruto shrugs, looking earnestly at him. "It's better than getting yourself killed isn't it? Besides, I think the guy's in love with you."

Sasuke gapes at Naruto, shocked by his friends words. Naruto just looks at him in confusion. "What? Why the hell are you looking at me like that?"

"In _love_ with me!? You've _got_ to be fucking kidding me!"

Naruto shakes his head. "No way man. Just think about everything he's done for you, and what he offered you. Besides, the way he looks when he talks about you I think it's pretty obvious."

"B-but," Sasuke sputters, "but, he doesn't even know me! Not really! How could he love me?"

Naruto just shrugs and looks at Sasuke for a few moments. "Look, you're a good lookin' guy, and when you're not trying to be a jerk, you've got a nice enough personality. That should be enough I guess. Maybe you're his type. You'd have to ask him, I don't really know the guy, I've only met him twice for a few minutes."

Sasuke just shakes his head, too stunned by his friend's revelation to think clearly for several minutes. Blinking, Sasuke looks at Naruto in confusion when something his friend had just said sinks in. "Wait, twice? You've met him twice? When else did you meet him?"

Naruto looks surprised, then embarrassed. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that part, sorry. I saw him yesterday. He was driving around looking for you after you got yourself out of the hospital. He was worried because the doc had said it was a little soon for you to be leaving. He didn't find you, but he found me and I talked to him then. He wanted me to tell you that he got your note and that you're right he is going to argue with you." Naruto pauses and watches Sasuke as a smile spreads across his face. Sasuke notices the look on Naruto's face, but before he can say anything, Naruto continues. "He said to let you know that if you ever needed anything to just get word to him. And he wanted me to tell you how to get to his place so you'll know where to find him if you need him."

Sasuke leans back on the bench and considers all of this for a moment, feel heat crawling up his cheeks again. To him it seemed strange having someone he barely knew care about him this much. Glancing at Naruto, Sasuke frowns, realizing that it had been pretty much the same thing with Naruto when they'd first met. Sasuke frowns at this, but can't bring himself to ask his best friend how _he_ felt. He was scared of the answer. Instead, he looks away from Naruto and stares out across the road, trying to decide what he should do next.

"Hey, Sasuke?"

"What Naruto?" Sasuke asks as he looks suspiciously at his best friend. He knew that scheming tone of voice.

"How about I take you out to see Kakashi now, that way you'll know how to get to his place if you ever change your mind about letting him take you in."

Sasuke scowls at his friend and crosses his arms over his chest. "I'm not going to change my mind. I don't even know that guy."

Naruto shrugs, but doesn't look like he's ready to give up and Sasuke braces himself. "Yeah, but you can get to know him when you move in to his place. I think he's a good guy. He sure seems like one. You shouldn't pass up the chance to be loved and taken care of, it's not often that guys like you and me get that chance. Do you want to live on the streets forever? Spend the rest of your life dodging Sanari?"

Sasuke blinks at Naruto, but says nothing. Naruto stares hard at him for a minute, then gets up. "When you're ready to find out where he lives, let me know and I'll take you."

Before Sasuke can reply, Naruto walks away. Sasuke sighs and closes his eyes, thinking about what his friend had just told him. His head was spinning and he felt like the entire world had been turned upside down. Pushing up from the bench, Sasuke started off down the road, meaning to continue his hunt for a job that he'd started before Naruto found him, but as the afternoon wore on, Sasuke became more and more distracted until he finally had to give up. He went to one of the many spots that he and Naruto had found around town that they could stay in safely enough when the shelters were full. Tucking himself away, Sasuke draws his knees up to his chest and wraps his arms around them as his mind works franticly to sort all of the information he'd gotten that afternoon. Sasuke knew his life was changing, but what he didn't know was just how big that change was going to be, or if he was ready for it.

* * *

**AN:** With the sudden addition of Naruto as an important character and a big part of the plot line, this story has taken on a new life. What I thought would happen in chapter 2 was pushed back to chapter 4. Now, it's been pushed back to chapter 6. Though, to be honest, with the way chapter 5 is forming in my mind right now, that particular line of plot might be pushed entirely out of the story. Naruto has turned my story completely upside down and inside out. So, I'm now on a chapter by chapter, feel it out basis. I'm hoping the plot will flesh out in more detail as I get farther into the story. Until it does, my updates are going to go pretty eratic. Which, I believe I said at the start, but now it's showing signs of slowing down because I'm having to find my way through each chapter in the dark. (This would be why there was no update yesterday. I just got this chapter written this morning.)

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and giving this story a chance. And thanks to everyone that's faved this story. I really appreciate it. And a special thanks to those that take the time to review. It really does help encourage my muse.


	5. Chapter 5

Kakashi waited for Sasuke to come see him, or to at least get word to him that he was well or that he'd at least received his message, but Sasuke never came, and he never sent word. At first Kakashi was worried and he'd go out trying to find Sasuke, but gradually his worry began to fade. He knew that if something had happened to Sasuke, Naruto would have gotten word to him. So, his worry turned to frustration, and his inability to do anything about the frustration made Kakashi half crazy until he had to force himself to let it go. He knew he couldn't forget the boy even if he wanted to, and he knew that he'd just have to go on with his life and wait. He was normally a patient man, and he wasn't willing to be undone by a pair of soulful black eyes.

A month passed, then two and still Kakashi heard nothing from Sasuke. He'd just started to consider finding Naruto to see if he could give him some word on how Sasuke was doing when word finally came. He was sitting at his computer, locked away in his study as he was most evenings, distracting himself with meaningless pornography when an unexpected knock came on his study door. Reaching up automatically, Kakashi turns the screen off and leans back in his chair, sighing. Rubbing his eyes, he glances at the clock and frowns at how late it was. Pushing to his feet, he walks around the desk and across the room to pull the door open. He smiles absently at his butler and waves a dismissive hand. "I know it's late, Roger. Don't worry, I won't be up much longer."

The old butler smiled politely at Kakashi and shook his head. "No sir, it isn't that. I am sorry to disturb you when you're busy, but there's a boy here to see you. You told me if he ever came I was to tell you immediately."

Kakashi felt his heart skip a beat, then begin thudding excitedly against his ribs. "Sasuke? Sasuke's here?"

"I don't know the boy's name, sir, I didn't ask. If you would prefer, I could go ask his name."

Kakashi waves his hand dismissively as he slips past the older man, pulling his study door closed behind him. "No, no, that's ok. Is he in the den?"

"Yes, sir. Shall I bring in some tea?"

Kakashi glanced back over his shoulder as he hurried down the hall in the direction of the den, calling his answer back to the older man hurriedly, "No, that's ok. If we need anything, I'll let you know."

Stopping outside of the closed door to the den, Kakashi takes a deep breath to steady himself. He runs his fingers uselessly through his silver hair, then pushes the door open and steps inside, speaking before he'd even laid eyes on the boy in the room. "Sasuke! I was wondering when you were going to get around to coming for that argument. How-"

Naruto grins at Kakashi from across the room and shakes his head when the older man stops talking abruptly. "Sorry, it's not Sasuke. Though, I have been trying for months now to get him out here. I can't get him to listen to reason."

Kakashi blinks at the blonde haired boy, confused for a moment, then his heart skips a beat, though for a much less pleasant reason this time. "Is Sasuke ok? Sanari hasn't found him has he?"

Naruto lifts his hands, palms out and shakes his head quickly. "No, no, nothing like that. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted to come and let you know what's going on with Sasuke since he's too much of a coward to come out here and tell you himself."

Kakashi moves across the room and drops into an armchair, frowning at Naruto. "Tell me what?"

Naruto shrugs and leans back in the chair he was sitting in, a smug grin sliding onto his face. "That he's in love with you. Well, ok, maybe not in love with you, but the potential is there. He thinks about you all the time, and he talks about you a lot. I quit pointing that out to him because he started to get really irritated with me about it. I think that's why he hasn't come out here to bring you the money like he kept saying he was going to in the beginning. He went out and found himself a job, and he was making pretty good money. He got a room in this shitty little hotel, and was saving money for you, but he never brought it out here. He got laid off from that job last week, so now he's using that as an excuse to keep from coming out here to see you. He says he needs the money to live on until he can find another job, so he can't pay you back yet. To be honest I think Sasuke was relieved when he lost that job."

Kakashi frowns and shakes his head in confusion. "Why would he be glad to lose a job? That job got him off the streets."

Naruto shrugs and smiles at Kakashi. "Because it gave him another excuse to stay away from you."

Kakashi frowns harder, then nods. "Yeah, that makes sense. So, what did you want me to do about it? I can't even find him. Although, I haven't really looked in a couple of months."

"Oh, I can tell you where to find him, and I can guarantee that he'll be there when you come looking."

Kakashi smiles faintly at Naruto. "I hear a 'but' coming."

Naruto grins at him and nods. "I told him you were smart. Yeah, there's a 'but.' If I get you to see Sasuke you have to promise me you won't give up on him. You have to promise you'll convince him to move in with you. And I need your word that you will never do a thing to hurt Sasuke in any way. Your word that you'll never abandon him. Sasuke's not nearly as strong as he likes to make people believe he is. He adored his older brother, and when he went crazy and killed off their family, something in Sasuke broke. I think that you could be just what Sasuke needs to heal what's broken inside of him, but it would be too easy for you to break him beyond repair."

Kakashi just stares at the boy for several minutes, then shakes his head in faint amusement. "You're one smart kid Naruto. How old are you?"

Naruto's eyebrows draw down over his eyes and he frowns. "I turned seventeen last month, why?"

"Because you're wise beyond your years. You should be an old man."

Naruto shrugs, looking no less serious for Kakashi's mild teasing. "Living on the streets makes you grow up really fast."

Kakashi nods, the humour fading from him as he watched the boy. "You're right, I can see the proof of that in you. Ok Naruto, you have my word. Though the last thing in the world I would ever want to do is hurt Sasuke, I promise I will actively work to be sure I never hurt the boy even by accident. I promise I will always take care of him. I promise that if he should ever decide to leave, I won't let him leave empty handed. If he isn't working at the time, I will give him enough money to take care of himself until he is able to find work. Most of all, I promise to love him, and take care of that fragile heart that beats inside of him.

"Naruto, if you take me to Sasuke, I will convince him to come home with me. I promise that I will not leave his side until he agrees to come with me, and then I will not leave his side ever again. I will protect him, I will love him. Always."

Naruto studies Kakashi long enough and intently enough that the older man begins to feel the urge to squirm. He hadn't felt that urge since he was a child and his eighth grade teacher had caught him behind the school looking at a dirty magazine he'd conned an older boy into buying for him. When Naruto finally nods, Kakashi lets out a breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding. "Good. Do you have any plans tomorrow night?"

Kakashi nods, and when Naruto frowns, he grins at him. "I'm going to meet you and Sasuke."

Naruto shakes his head and grins at Kakashi. "Funny. Do you know where the club district is?"

Kakashi nods and smiles faintly in amusement. "I'm rich Naruto, not dead."

Naruto shrugs, not looking the least bit repentant. "Yeah, well, we don't often see you rich guys at our clubs. I've heard that you rich guys have your own."

Laughing, Kakashi shakes his head. "Don't let the house, the car and the clothes fool you Naruto, I may be rich, but I'm not your typical rich snob. I have been to the clubs before, but I admit it's been years. I was probably close to your age the last time I went to a club."

Naruto narrows his eyes, looking at Kakashi appraisingly for a few moments. "How old are you anyway?"

Kakashi blinks in surprise at the unexpected question then chuckles. "How old do you think I am?"

"I don't know. Thirty, thirty-five?"

Kakashi winces and runs a hand back through his silver hair, fearing that it was the unusual color of his hair that always made people think he was older than he actually was. "Ouch. Actually I just turned twenty-six not too long ago."

Naruto seems only mildly surprised, making a dismissive gesture that amuses Kakashi. "Yeah, well, I've never been good at judging someone's age. Let's get back on the topic at hand. You know where the club district is, so I don't need to worry about trying to figure out how to give you directions there. Do you know Babylon?"

Kakashi feels his eyebrows lift automatically, but he nods. "Yes, I've heard of it. Never been inside the place though. The reputation the place had when I was younger..." he trails off a shrugs.

Naruto snorts and grins at Kakashi. "I can only imagine it's much the same as the reputation it has now. Sasuke has recently started going there. When he lost his job he got a bit self-destructive I think. Anyway, that's where we'll be tomorrow night. If you show up, I'll help you get Sasuke outside so you can talk, but after that, you're on your own. You have to convince him yourself. As much as I want him to be safe and happy, I'm not going to help you take him away from me."

Kakashi stares at Naruto for several minutes, then shakes his head slowly. "You love him too don't you?"

Naruto scoffs at him, then turns his head before he replies. "Of course I do. He's my best friend."

Seeing that the boy didn't want to talk about it, Kakashi lets it go and moves the conversation back. "What time did you want me to show up?"

Naruto looks back at Kakashi, his face serious once again with no hint of the turmoil of a moment before. "We'll be there a little early probably, so how about seven. Can you be there at seven?"

Kakashi nods and smiles reassuringly at the boy. "I'll be there promptly at seven."

"One more thing," Naruto begins carefully. He bites at his bottom lip, clearly trying to find the right words. When Naruto's gaze drifts down to the clothes he was wearing, Kakashi bursts out laughing, surprising the boy.

"Don't worry Naruto, I won't show up in one of my expensive suits. I do own casual clothing. I won't wear leather, but I can do jeans and a simple t-shirt."

Naruto seems relieved. He pushes himself up from the chair and starts to walk toward the door, calling back over his shoulder, "See you tomorrow night then!" Kakashi gets up and starts to follow the boy out, meaning to offer him a ride back to where ever he was staying when Naruto stops abruptly and spins around to face him again. "I gotta know one thing."

"And that would be?"

"Why? Why do you love Sasuke?"

Kakashi leans against the back of the chair he'd just been sitting in and studies the boy's earnest face for several minutes as he thinks about his answer. "It's his eyes." At the look he gets from Naruto, Kakashi smiles and tries to explain. "When I first saw him I thought he was adorable. Then when he threw his attitude at me, refusing to even tell me his name, I was amused and intrigued. When I finally got him to sit and talk to me I was drawn into his eyes. They're so expressive. His attitude gives you one thing, but his eyes give you the truth which is another thing entirely. I was drawn in by those eyes, and when I realized who he was and what had happened to him, I understood what his eyes showed me. I felt a desire to protect him like I've never felt before. I was already well on my way to falling in love with him by this point. After that, I couldn't seem to stop thinking about him. His eyes haunted by dreams.

"When you came to tell me that he'd been hurt, I felt as if the world were falling away. That was a fear I never want to know again. When I found him where you told me he was, the fear was an agony that made breathing seem like too much of an effort. I don't think I breathed again until I had him in my arms and knew he was still alive. That fear stayed with me in the hospital until he woke up the first time and spoke to me. It was then that I realized just how much he already meant to me. It didn't matter to me that I hardly knew him, because to me, his eyes told me everything that I thought I needed to know about him to love him. So you see, it's his eyes."

Naruto stands silently staring at Kakashi, a small frown on his face. After a while he nods, a small smile spreading across his face, slowly turning up into a grin. He turns back toward the door, but not before Kakashi catches a glimmer in his eyes. Kakashi instinctively reaches out for the boy, but stops himself before he touches him, letting the boy have his privacy. Instead he clears his throat and calls to him just before he pulls the door open. "Naruto, did you want a ride back to where ever it is you're staying? I can get Charles to take you anywhere you want to go."

When Naruto turns back to look at him again, Kakashi sees that the grin was still in place, but his eyes were dry once more. "Nah, that's ok. I don't mind the walk. The cold is invigorating. Don't forget, seven tomorrow night at Babylon."

Kakashi watches the boy pull the door open and step out into the hall. As he pulls the door closed behind him Kakashi nods and murmurs, "Don't worry, I won't forget. And I'll make sure you never regret giving up what you've just given up."


	6. Chapter 6

Sasuke stood in the middle of the dance floor glaring at his best friend. He knew that look on his face much too well. Naruto was up to something, and it was most likely something that Sasuke wasn't going to like. Try as he might though, Sasuke couldn't get an answer out of Naruto, he just kept shrugging and trying to get Sasuke to dance with him. Eventually, when nothing happened, Sasuke began to relax and dance with Naruto, enjoying himself for the first time in a long time. Closing his eyes, Sasuke feels a smile spread across his face as he moved with Naruto to the beat of the music. When Naruto stops dancing suddenly, Sasuke stops too and opens his eyes, looking at his friend curiously. Naruto was looking over Sasuke's shoulder in the direction of the bar, a strange smile on his face. Suddenly nervous, knowing this had to be what his friend was up to, Sasuke turns slowly to look at the bar, his smile fading. It takes him a moment to realize who Naruto was looking at, but the moment his eyes caught sight of the silver hair, Sasuke knew. The smile spread across his face again, and realizing how happy he was to see the man he'd been avoiding for months, Sasuke starts to blush and the smile slips again. He turns back to Naruto and scowls at his friend's grin.

"This is what you were up to, isn't it?" he shouts over the music.

When Naruto only nods, Sasuke scowls harder at him, then spins on his heel, meaning to walk away, to leave the club. After several steps however, Sasuke realizes that he's _not_ leaving the club, he's walking to the bar, toward the man standing there smiling at him. Sasuke stops in front of Kakashi and looks at him, not knowing what to say. The older man was completely at ease, leaning back against the bar and sipping at a beer. Sasuke opens his mouth to say something, then stops. He looks back over his shoulder and spots Naruto still out on the dance floor. He scowls at his friend and makes a rude gesture, then looks back at Kakashi. He allows his gaze to travel down the older man's body, realizing for the first time that he had a very nice body indeed. Tight jeans and an even tighter t-shirt showed off much more than the well tailored and expensive suits that he usually wore.

"How are you, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's head jerks back up to Kakashi's face when he speaks, realizing in that moment that he'd been staring at Kakashi's chest. Feeling heat crawling up his face once again, Sasuke curses sharply making Kakashi chuckle. "What the hell are you doing to me? You're the only one I get like this around. I can't think and I don't act normal."

Kakashi shrugs and smiles, reaching behind him to set the empty beer bottle on the bar before he replies. "I could tell you, but you likely wouldn't believe me. You'll have to figure it out for yourself. Mind if I ask you a question?"

Sasuke shrugs, then motions for the older man to continue. "I reserve the right to not answer, however," he adds quickly.

Kakashi chuckles again, making something low in Sasuke's stomach go tight. "That's fair enough. I was just wondering, if you're not gay as you told me the night we met, why did you want to come to a gay club with Naruto?"

Sasuke sighs, then shrugs his shoulders. "I was wondering when someone was going to think to ask me that. I'm not surprised it was you. To answer your question, I was curious."

Kakashi smiles slyly at Sasuke, making him feel like blushing or squirming, he wasn't sure which. "About the club, or about your sexuality?"

Sasuke blinks at Kakashi, feeling his face heating again, no longer able to hold eye contact. He had no intention of answering that question, but before he knew it, he found himself answering the older man. "Both, actually."

Kakashi just nods and smiles down at Sasuke. Shaking his head, Sasuke turns on his heel and walks back out onto the dance floor, suddenly embarrassed beyond belief. When he gets to Naruto, he waves off the volley of questions he knew his friend was about to throw at him and starts dancing. When Naruto shows no signs that he was going to dance with him, Sasuke turns to the crowd, dancing with the first man he laid eyes on. The song that was playing stopped, replaced by another and Sasuke closed his eyes, letting the beat of the music carry his body. When he opened his eyes again, he wasn't dancing with the man he'd been with when he closed his eyes. Instead, it was Kakashi that was pressed against the front of his body, grinning down at him as he moved to the music.

"What are you doing?" Sasuke cried over the thumping music.

Kakashi only grinned wider and leaned down to 'whisper' in his ear. "Why, I'm dancing with the most attractive guy in the club, and hoping it leads to what the song is about."

Sasuke blinks and listens to the song, hearing the words more than the music now. Realizing that the man singing was talking about having sex, Sasuke blushes then curses sharply, forcing down his embarrassment As if to prove that he wasn't embarrassed, even though on some levels he still was, Sasuke lifts his head and squares his shoulders, looking right into Kakashi's eyes as he danced with the older man. Before long he realized he was having fun, and he used that feeling to shut away all thought. When the song ended, Sasuke stopped and looked up at Kakashi again and smiled. "Thanks for the dance!" he called over the opening strains of the next song, then turned on his heel and walked for the door.

He glanced back once before he stepped out the door, seeing Kakashi and Naruto standing where he'd left them, leaning close to hear each other to be heard over the sound of the music. Sasuke frowns then shakes his head. He really wasn't all that surprised. Naruto had been trying since he got out of the hospital to get Sasuke with the older man, though Sasuke wasn't sure why. He figured it had something to do with Sanari being after him, but Sasuke was pretty sure that wasn't all of it. He never would have thought that Naruto would go so far to get him to see Kakashi, and it made him wonder what was up that he didn't know about.

Stepping out into the cold night, Sasuke leans his head back and breathes deeply of the crisp night air, feeling his nerves beginning to settle instantly. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out a pack of cigarettes. He shakes one out as he moves down the steps that led into the club. Stopping on the sidewalk out front he pulls a lighter from his pocket and lights the cigarette. He takes a deep drag of the cigarette and inhales the smoke, letting it back out in a long sigh as he tucks the lighter back into his pocket. He turns, not having anywhere in particular in mind to go, but wanting to walk, waiting for Naruto and Kakashi to come after him, because he knew they were going to. He takes only a couple of steps before his gaze settles on a familiar face that he'd hoped to never see again, and his blood turns to ice in his veins. He glances back at the doors to the club, wondering if he could get back inside and hide himself in the crowd before he was spotted, but when he turns his head back, he knew he was too late.

"Shit!" Sasuke mutters with feeling as Sanari yells his name and starts toward him.

Sasuke turns and starts running without thinking, telling himself that this wasn't about fear, this was about survival. Any thoughts of heading back into the club to hide were lost in that instant spurt of fear that he was denying. There was no coherent thought except '_run_' and he was doing just that. Ducking into an alley, Sasuke dives behind a dumpster hiding himself and forcing his breathing to at least remain silent even if he can't slow it back to normal. He places a hand over his chest as if just that one touch could slow the rapid galloping of his heartbeat. A small irrational part of his mind told him that Sanari was going to hear the loud, rapid thumping of his heart and find him. He closes his eyes and wills himself to calm down.

When his breathing returns to normal and his heartbeat finally begins to slow, he lets himself relax. He peeks out from behind the dumpster, and seeing nothing, sags back against the wall for a moment, breathing a sigh of relief. It occurs to him only then that he could have run back into the club. Even Sanari wasn't so stupid as to cause trouble in the middle of a crowded club. Pushing to his feet, Sasuke starts to walk out from behind the dumpster, meaning to go back to the club and find Naruto and Kakashi, but instead he comes up short, looking up into Sanari's cold blue eyes, now filled with a heat of rage that made Sasuke's blood run to ice again.

"So the rumours were true, you really are still alive. I don't know how you lived through that last beating you little bastard, but you won't live through this one."

Sasuke backed up, tripping over something on the ground behind him, landing on his butt and stared up at Sanari. His mind began to work quickly trying to figure a way out of his. "I don't know either Sanari, because I don't remember any of it. All I know is Naruto said I mouthed off to you and you kicked my ass."

"Why am I not surprised that little fag friend of yours had something to do with it? That's ok, I'll take care of him next."

Sasuke curses loudly in his head for having just gotten his best friend in trouble. He's still scrambling for something to say, anything that would at least delay the beating he was about to receive, if not stop it altogether. He watched in fear as Sanari's arm drew back, hand balled tightly into a fist. Sasuke was cringing back, just about to squeeze his eyes shut when Sanari suddenly vanishes from in front of him. Blinking in surprise, Sasuke just sits there, too stunned to move, his mind blank. When someone else steps into the gap between the back of the dumpster and the wall, he cringes back again, arms going up defensively. It takes him a few heartbeats to recognize Naruto standing peering down at him. Sasuke sags against the wall in relief.

"Shit, Sasuke, are you ok?"

Sasuke only nods, then pushes to his feet. "What the hell happened? Where'd Sanari go?"

"Kakashi and I came out of the club looking for you, but you were nowhere to be found. I thought you were just going out for a smoke and some air, or I'd have come out after you sooner. I saw one of Sanari's goons out front and he couldn't wait to brag about how Sanari had finally found you again and was gonna kill you. I punched him in the nose and laid him out on the ground. I wasn't thinking, I should have asked him which way you'd gone. Kakashi had already taken off down the sidewalk, I think someone told him which way you'd run off. We got here and all we could see was Sanari, so Kakashi grabbed him and slammed him into the wall while I checked on you. You are ok, aren't you?"

Sasuke nods and pushes past Naruto, back out into the alley. He glances around, spotting Kakashi a little ways down from where he'd been hiding. He had Sanari pinned against the wall and was standing very close to him, talking in a low voice right in his face. Sanari didn't look very happy, but Sasuke could see that unhappiness was slowly turning to fear, something he never thought he'd see on Sanari. He moves down the alley until he was close enough to hear what was being said.

"And if I hear that you've ever so much as _looked_ at Sasuke or Naruto again, I'm going to come back down here and make your life a living hell. When I get tired of that, I'll have you thrown in jail, where you'll be sure to have a cell mate that will absolutely love you, though maybe not in a way you'd like. Your time in prison will be the worst of your short life, I'll be sure of that. Long before the let you out, you'll be wishing that you were dead. It's never wise to piss off a rich man, but it's especially unwise to piss off a rich man with _my_ connections. Have I made myself perfectly clear? You're clearly not a very bright guy, so I tried to dumb it down enough so that even someone with your level intelligence could understand it."

Sasuke moved up to stand just behind and a couple of steps away from Kakashi, staring at Sanari in surprise. When the bully nods, Kakashi lets go of him and he drops to the ground. He scrambles to his feet and starts to hurry down the alley. He glances at Sasuke, murder in his eyes as he passes. When Kakashi calls from behind him in a soft threatening voice, "What did I just tell you, dumbass?" Sanari jumps and breaks into a run.

Once Sanari vanished out of the alleyway, Sasuke turned back to look at Kakashi. The anger on his face faded, replaced by concern when his gaze settled on Sasuke. Sasuke just looked up at him, not knowing what to say. When Kakashi closes the short distance between then and wraps his arms around Sasuke, holding him tightly against his chest, Sasuke doesn't resist, still too stunned by what had just happened. After a few moments, Sasuke realizes that he can feels Kakashi trembling. He turns his head just far enough to be able to be heard when he speaks, but he doesn't try to pull away from the arms wrapped so tightly around him, making him feel truly safe for the first time that he could remember since his family was killed.

"Kakashi?"

"Christ, Sasuke," the older man whispered, voice trembling with extreme emotion, "I almost lost you again."

Sasuke can only blink in surprise at the feeling and the fear behind that one whispered statement. Slowly, he shifts, sliding his arms around Kakashi, leaning himself against the older man, trying to impart comfort even as he takes comfort from him. When the trembling stops, Sasuke looks up at Kakashi, and the older man steps back, letting him go. Sasuke feels a pang of regret, but doesn't say anything or move back closer to the older man. He glances back at Naruto who was standing nearby with a strange look in his eyes, watching the two. Clearing his throat, he looks back at Kakashi and smiles weakly. "Thanks for saving me again."

Kakashi shakes his head and starts to head back down the alley, taking Sasuke's hand as he walks past, leading him. "You don't need to thank me for that, Sasuke. Come on, let's go home."

Sasuke stops walking and pulls back on Kakashi's hand until the older man stops and turns to look at him patiently. "What is it, Sasuke?"

"What do you mean let's go home?"

"I mean you're moving in with me. I'm not leaving you out here with Sanari still roaming around, trusting that my threat will be enough to keep him at bay. I've already had one of the guest rooms converted into a room for you, and I've had some clothes bought for you, though I had to guess at your size. Everything is set for you, so let's go."

Sasuke scowls at the older man, then pulls his hand free, ignoring the feeling of loss that washes over him when the cold air meets the warmth where Kakashi's hand had just been. He crosses his arms over his chest to keep from reaching out to grab his hand again. "Who ever said I was going to move in with you?"

"I did."

Sasuke just scowls at the older man, his shoulders squaring stubbornly. Surprisingly, it's Naruto that breaks the silence and breaks Sasuke's will to fight with two simple words. "Please, Sasuke."

Looking at his best friend, Sasuke sees a fear to match that which he'd heard in those two words. He just looks at Naruto for several long moments, then his shoulders sag and he sighs, nodding his head. "Ok, Naruto."

Without thinking about it, Sasuke reaches out and takes Kakashi's hand again. When he realizes what he's done, he has to duck his head, hiding the sudden blush behind his overly long hair. Without looking up, he continues walking down the alley. When Kakashi pulls him up short, Sasuke looks back at him in confusion. Finding that Kakashi was looking at Naruto and not him, Sasuke frowns and turns around. His confusion fades when he sees Kakashi motioning for Naruto to follow them. A smile slides across Sasuke's face and he motions to his best friend too.

"I'm not leaving you out here, Naruto. Sanari will want you now just as much as he wants Sasuke. There's plenty of room at my place. You can stay as long as you like."

Seeing the resistance in Naruto's eyes, Sasuke takes a step back toward him and looks at his best friend, offering the same simple plea that Naruto had. "Please, Naruto."

When Naruto nods and smiles faintly at him, Sasuke holds out his other hand to his best friend. His heart is warmed when that faint smile becomes that annoying grin that Naruto had and Sasuke had been treasuring since the day they met. When the three of them reached the end of the alley, he's shocked to find Kakashi's limo there, the driver standing with the door open, waiting for them. Kakashi glances at Sasuke and laughs at his surprise making Sasuke grin in embarrassment. "That's something you're going to have to get used to, Sasuke. Charles here will be anticipating your needs now as well."

It was in that moment that Sasuke realized he was about to live a life he'd never even dared to dream. Getting off the streets had always been enough of a dream for him. But, getting off the streets and being rich? Well, that was something for the movies, not for reality. As he slid into the limo behind Kakashi, Sasuke decided that this was definitely his favorite movie.

* * *

**AN:** I just wanted to apologize for getting this chapter up so late. I had it finished early this afternoon, but after lunch when I sat down to edit, I accidently stumbled across a Naruto spoiler on DA that excited me so much that there was no getting me to sit still long enough to edit. I'm still excited and randomly squealing and the grin won't leave my face, but I did manage to make myself sit still and edit the chapter. So, if there are any major or minor errors I missed fixing, please excuse me. And let me know so I can fix it. ;)

Also, I already have the next chapter forming in my mind, but I don't know what happens beyond that other than some vague ideas of random occurences that help Sasuke settle into his new life. So, because of that I can't say when there will be another chapter after chapter 7. Please bear with me, I won't give up on the story, and I _will_ finish it.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:** I just wanted to offer a warning to those reading this story before you actually start this chapter. This will be my first piece that goes beyond mere fluffiness to something _much_ more adult. And, much to my surprise, it begins in this chapter. While I did tame it down and confine it to a vague paragraph, I wanted to warn anyone not wanting to read something of an adult nature, here's your chance to stop. (Though, I don't know why you should since it is being submitted with a Mature rating.)

This bit is much tamer than my smut normally is, and much more cleaned up. What comes later won't be. You have been warned.

* * *

Kakashi woke the next morning before the sun had even risen after a night of fitful sleep. Rolling from the bed, completely unrested, he walked into the bathroom. He stopped at the sink, letting the motion activated lights slowly brighten until he was able to see himself in the mirror above the sink. He stood staring at himself in the mirror, remembering the feeling that had filled him when he had that bastard pinned to the wall the night before. He knew in that moment that he could easily and happily kill him just for having touched Sasuke. Now, in the early morning hours, he knew that if Sanari were standing before him now, he'd feel the same. It wasn't anger that drove him, it was fear. He was terrified that he was going to lose Sasuke when he'd only just found him.

Cursing, Kakashi spins around and grabs his robe. He pulls it on as he moves quickly through his bedroom. Stepping out into the hall, he pauses just long enough to belt the robe closed before heading off to the room he'd had made up for Sasuke. He stops outside the door, one hand on the doorknob, the other laying flat against the wood. He closes his eyes and leans his forehead against the door. Behind his closed eyelids, he sees the same images that had haunted his sleep the night before: Sasuke laying in the alley, battered and bloodied. Dead because Kakashi had arrived too late to save him. Shuddering, Kakashi turns the doorknob and carefully pushes the door open.

Stepping into the room, he pushes the door mostly closed behind him so that the light from the hall didn't wake Sasuke. Moving across the room, Kakashi stops at the side of the bed, looking down at Sasuke's sleeping form. He was sleeping in a pair of pajama pants that Kakashi had had bought for him, the top that went with them was laying on the floor at the foot of the bed. Sasuke had apparently had a night of restless sleep of his own because the blanket had been pushed off the bed as well, and the sheets lay twisted under and beside him. He was sprawled across the center of the bed at an angle, one arm flung up over his head, the other stretched out beside him. Kakashi's gaze travels up Sasuke's form stopping to watch the rise and fall of his chest. It takes several minutes for the sight to comfort his fears away before his gaze starts to travel up again. Kakashi smiles at the tousled black hair that had fallen into the boy's eyes, and without thinking he leans down and carefully brushes the hair back from his eyes.

Standing up again, Kakashi steps back and whispers, "You're safe now Sasuke, and I promise you I'll keep you safe from now on. And I promise myself as well," he adds after a moment.

Turning, Kakashi walks silently out of the room, closing the door carefully behind him. He forces himself to start walking down the hall. Part of him wanted to turn around and go back in the room, not wanting to let Sasuke out of his sight, but he wasn't willing to give in to that desire, giving irrationality a foothold in his mind. Walking back into his room, he closes the door behind himself and walks straight into the bathroom. He pulls off his robe and hangs it up once again before stripping out of his pajamas and tossing them absently into the clothes hamper in the corner. He moves automatically across the room and turns the shower on. He adjusts the water, feeling tension building in his body, and thinking a hot shower would be just what he needed to wash away the tension and fears that still clung to the edges of his mind like cobwebs.

Kakashi steps into the shower, letting the hot water sluice over his body, pulling a deep sigh from him. Leaning forward, he presses his hands against the cool tile of the shower wall, letting his head hang forward so that the water beat at the back of his neck and down his back. He closed his eyes and was immediately assailed by the images of his nightmares from the night before. Cursing he forces the images from his thoughts, replacing them with images of the peacefully sleeping Sasuke, using them as a shield against the dark thoughts. The longer he stood in the water with images of Sasuke sprawled across his bed, the more the tension built in him. Lifting his head, he lets the water splash over his face for a moment before he drops his head forward again.

As a small smile slips onto his face, Kakashi finally manages to clear his mind enough to know what that building tension was. Opening his eyes, he looks down the length of his body. Shaking his head, he closes his eyes again and gives over to the thoughts that were slipping in. Dropping a hand from the wall, he wraps it around the hardened length of his shaft and begins to stroke slowly, the first electric tingles of pleasure making him shudder as his breath catches in his throat. He lets the breath out in a shuddering sigh as he begins to stroke the length of his erection faster, his mind feeding him images of Sasuke, some real and remembered, some made up and desired. Panting and moaning, it doesn't take him long to reach the peak of his pleasure, and throwing his head back, Kakashi cries out Sasuke's name as his seed splashes across the wall in front of him.

Dropping his hand away from his softening shaft, Kakashi chuckles breathlessly as the tension bleeds away. Standing upright, Kakashi begins to wash himself, smiling lazily, content for the first time in a long while. The tension that he'd been aware of, as well as tension that he hadn't even realized he'd been carrying around for the last few months was finally gone. Grinning as he rinses soap from his body and shampoo from his hair, Kakashi thinks, '_Maybe having Sasuke close to me all the time now will help keep the tension at bay. Or maybe it will make it worse. Maybe it was just the sight of him laying half naked across the bed like he was that caused this tension. I don't think I mind that kind of tension though, as long as it doesn't happen _too_ often._'

Chuckling, Kakashi turns the water off and steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel and beginning to dry himself off. He moves through the rest of his morning ritual with a smile on his face and humming a happy tune absently under his breath. When he arrives in the kitchen happy and smiling, his cook looks at him, grinning. She motions him to the table in the breakfast nook, then goes back to work. When she brings his breakfast and sets it in front of him a few minutes later, Kakashi sits back and waits for the questions he knew were coming.

"I know you brought those boys home with you last night. I expect they'll be up soon and looking for something to eat, so I've prepared enough for them as well, though I don't know what either boy likes. You're not sleeping with them both are you, you devil?"

Kakashi gives the plump old woman a shocked look, pressing one hand to his chest as though his heart pained him. "Why Ms. Mimi, how could you accuse me of such things?" Kakashi laughs at the look she gives him, then shakes his head and takes a sip of his coffee before he answers honestly. "I'm not sleeping with either of them. Each boy has his own room. Naruto is Sasuke's best friend, and he's staying so I can keep him safe from that asshole that beat up Sasuke. He showed up again last night and nearly killed Sasuke." Kakashi shudders at the memory and turns his face into the warm glow of morning sunlight that flooded the breakfast nook.

"Both boys are ok though, aren't they?"

Kakashi looks back at the older woman and smiles, nodding as relief washes over him. "Yes, I got there before he could do anything to Sasuke. And since I brought Naruto home with me, he never had a chance to touch him."

Seeing the serious look on the cook's face, Kakashi braces himself for the next question he knew was coming, knowing that this would be the hard one. "Didn't you say that Naruto was in love with Sasuke too? Isn't that going to be hard on him? Watching you and Sasuke I mean."

Kakashi leans back and takes up his coffee cup again and sighs. He takes another sip of the coffee before he answers, giving himself time to think. "You're right of course, and I'm going to do everything I can to make this as easy on both boys as I can. I'm not going to do anything blatant in front of Naruto, I don't want to rub his nose in it, but living in the same house, this is going to be hard. I'm thinking I'll help him find work, then I'll set him up in an apartment nearby. The only problem then will be convincing Sasuke to stay here with me and not follow his best friend."

They both look up when a bleary eyed Naruto walks into the kitchen, looking much worse for wear. The cook leans over Kakashi and murmurs, "I don't think that will be a problem. The boy will love you soon enough, I guarantee it." Standing up, the portly woman moves across the kitchen, taking hold of Naruto and leading him to the table and sitting him down, already fussing over him. "You're nothing but skin and bones! I'm going to have to fatten you up. Here, have some coffee, that'll get you going," she says as she shoves a coffee cup into his hands.

Kakashi chuckles and starts to eat his breakfast, watching Naruto sip at his own coffee and pick at his breakfast, his appetite seeming to grow as he woke more completely. When he no longer looked so bleary, Kakashi sat back from his breakfast and grabbed the paper from its place next to his plate. "You look like you didn't sleep any better than I did last night. I hope the room was comfortable enough for you."

Naruto looks up from the food he was not ravenously eating. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it's great. I'm just not used to such a soft bed at night. The shelters sure don't have anything that nice, and the place me and Sasuke were staying in was even worse. It's just gonna take some getting used to, and I don't think I mind that at all. Thanks again for taking me in, man. I was thinking though, as much as I like it here, and as much as I appreciate what you're doing for me, maybe I'd better get my own place. I'm going to go out and find myself a real job and save up some money to get a decent apartment. I'm not gonna stay in a shit hole hotel like we were in before."

Kakashi lifts his eyebrows as he peers at Naruto over the top of his paper. Slowly he folds it and sets it back on the table, looking at Naruto seriously. "You don't have to do that you know. You can stay here as long as you like."

Naruto just grins at him and shrugs. "Sure, but I don't want to be in the way. Besides," he continues, cutting off Kakashi's protests, "I'm not some kid anymore. I should be out on my own, and I kinda like the idea of having my own place, you know?"

Kakashi narrows his eyes at the boy, but doesn't comment on it, letting him have his excuses and his privacy. Leaning back in his chair, he drinks he last of his coffee, then smiles at Naruto. "Well, like I said, you can stay here as long as you like. As soon as you're ready though, I'll help you find an apartment nearby so you can come visit with Sasuke any time you like."

Naruto shrugs and grins at him. "Sure, thanks. I'm going to be a kept man, except I'll never find my way into your bed. That spot is already reserved for someone else. And no matter how big your bed is, there won't be room for three."

"Won't be room for three in whose bed?" asked Sasuke as he strolled into the kitchen, looking perfectly rested, if a bit nervous.

Naruto grins and shakes his head. "Wouldn't you like to know? Bet you'd like to be part of a threesome!"

Sasuke makes a face at Naruto and reaches out to swipe at him, though the blonde haired boy easily dodges. Sasuke glances across the table at Kakashi and smiles. Unexpectedly memories of Sasuke sprawled across his bed, and what that vision had led him to do fill Kakashi's mind and he's forced to shift himself into a more comfortable position. He picks up his napkin and drops it casual across his lap, then takes up his paper again as a distraction and smiles back at Sasuke. "Good morning Sasuke, I hope you slept well."

Sasuke shrugs and smiles ruefully. "Yeah, it was almost like it used to be when I was a kid." Frowning, Sasuke ducks his head and visibly collects himself before lifting his head again. "Thanks for taking us in, and thanks for the clothes, they fit great."

Kakashi nods and turns his attention to Naruto, distracting himself from the thoughts that seemed determined to plague him. "I know that the ones we gave you don't quite fit right because they were made for Sasuke, but I was an idiot and didn't think about Sanari coming after you because you're Sasuke's friend, so it didn't occur to me until last night to ask you to move in here with us. I wasn't prepared for you like I was Sasuke." Kakashi ignores the look he was getting from Sasuke and smiles at Naruto. "We'll remedy that today. We'll go out and get you some clothes of your own. And I think we should get you each a nice suit for job interviews."

"A job," Sasuke cries. "That's exactly what I need! Hopefully this time I can find a decent job that isn't gonna lay me off after a couple of months."

Kakashi glances at Sasuke, pretending not to notice the flush. He chuckles at the look Naruto was giving him, then lifted his paper and began trying to read as Sasuke started on his own breakfast. Feeling pressure against his leg under the table, Kakashi lowers his paper just far enough to peer over the top and finds Sasuke staring at him, a look in his eyes that almost made Kakashi think that the boy knew what he'd been doing in the shower earlier, and what he'd been thinking. Grinning behind the paper and feeling himself flush, Kakashi winks at Sasuke, making the boy grin, then lifts the paper and resumes reading, finally able to concentrate on what he was reading.


	8. Chapter 8

Sasuke adjusted to his new home quickly. He found himself comfortable in the plush surroundings much more quickly than Naruto. He'd just begun to truly worry about his best friend, but Naruto wouldn't talk about it. He'd just tell Sasuke he'd be fine when he found a job and could afford to get his own place. Sasuke had tried arguing with Naruto that he didn't have to worry about moving out, Kakashi had told them both time and again that Naruto was more than welcome to stay as long as he wanted. At first Naruto would argue with Sasuke about it, offering up excuse after excuse for why he didn't want to stay very long, but Sasuke knew none of the reasons were the truth. Then one day, Naruto just snapped telling Sasuke that he didn't want to be the third wheel for the rest of his life. After that, if Sasuke even hinted at it, Naruto would change the subject. Eventually Sasuke gave up, but he never stopped wondering if maybe there was something more that Naruto wasn't saying.

Even with his worries for his best friend, Sasuke still found time to get to know Kakashi better, and he found himself flirting with the older man time and again. After his initial startle at finding himself flirting with Kakashi over breakfast his first morning in the older man's home, Sasuke grew more comfortable with his reactions to Kakashi, and the feelings that were beginning to fill him. After a few strange looks from Naruto that Sasuke could never figure out when his best friend would find him flirting with their host, Sasuke began to be careful to keep his flirting private, or at least out of Naruto's line of sight. At first, Sasuke thought that maybe he'd been right before when he feared that Naruto loved him as more than a friend, and his strange looks were caused by jealousy, but he discarded the idea when Naruto started showing signs of anger. Sasuke was scared to dig too deeply, so he let Naruto be and tried to make things easier on him.

Sasuke learned his new home inside and out in the first few days. Most of his exploring was done with Naruto, and they spent a great deal of time together when they weren't exploring until Naruto started looking for work. Sasuke, still shaken from his near death at Sanari's hands twice, found himself unable to leave the house without Kakashi at his side. He knew he couldn't work like that, so he held off on looking for a job. Kakashi assured him often that he didn't need to find a job, that he'd gladly support him, but Sasuke wanted to work, so he worked to get past his fear. While Naruto was out looking for work, or when he was wanting some time alone, Sasuke started spending more and more time in Kakashi's extensive library. He learned quickly how books were grouped, making it easy to avoid the extensive collection of pornographic novels that Kakashi seemed quite fond of. Sasuke spent a great deal of time either curled up in one of the chairs, or on the couch in the library, or tucked away in his own room with one book or another from Kakashi's library. He noticed when subjects or authors that he found particular interest in began to expand, but he never said anything to Kakashi, only smiled to himself and picked out a new book to read.

It was during one of his many trips to the library to pick out one of the new books that had recently arrived that Sasuke heard the music coming down the hall. Stepping out of the library, he turned his head in the direction the music was coming from, already knowing what he was going to see before he looked. Kakashi's study was at the end of the hall, and the door, usually closed when he was in there was partially open. Drawn by the sound of the music coming from the study, and curiosity about the open door, Sasuke slips down the hall. Stopping outside of the door, Sasuke listens to the opening lyrics of the song. It takes him a few minutes to realize why the song sounded so familiar. It wasn't the song, it was the person singing. Pushing the door open, Sasuke steps into the doorway, watching Kakashi leaning against his desk, head back, eyes closed as he sang along with the song. Sasuke watches the emotion play over his face, and he knew that Kakashi was truly feeling the song.

As the song comes to an end, Sasuke decides he likes it. He's just about to step back out of the room as the last strains of music quiet, but Kakashi looks up then and their eyes meet. Kakashi doesn't say anything as he stands looking at Sasuke in the brief silence between songs. When the next song begins, Sasuke takes a step back and Kakashi begins singing along with the new song, "Tonight I'm so alone, this sorrow takes ahold. Don't leave me here so cold, never want to be so cold. Your touch used to be so kind, your touch used to give me life. I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time. Don't leave me alone, 'cause I barely see at all. Don't leave me alone."

Sasuke stops moving, the words of the song seeming to reach out and hold him in place as if they weighted his feet down. Feeling heat crawling up his cheeks, Sasuke clears his throat and Kakashi stops singing. A smile spreads slowly across Kakashi's face, prompting Sasuke to finally speak. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to disturb you. I heard the music and I saw the door was open. It's usually closed, so I was curious."

Kakashi nods and motions Sasuke into the room with one hand, the other reaching out to turn the volume down enough to make speaking comfortable for the two. "It's ok. I guess I forgot to close the door behind me. Maybe I was subconsciously hoping that you would come along, attracted by my music so we could see one another. What do you think?"

Sasuke moves closer to the older man, stopping in front of him and returning the smile. "Well, I think your subconscious did a fine job of getting you want you wanted because your music did indeed lure me down the hall, and the open door pulled me in. But, I have to say, it was your singing that kept me standing here. You sing quite nicely, you have a great voice."

Kakashi grins at Sasuke and shrugs. "I couldn't do it professionally, but I guess I'm good enough not to burst someone's eardrums. But thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed my singing. I think however, since you got your entertainment from listening to me sing, it's only fair that I get some kind of payment." Kakashi chuckles at the suspicious look Sasuke could feel on his face, making him relax again. "No, nothing like that, but if you offer, I'd not say no. Actually, I was thinking of a dance. What do you say?"

As Sasuke is still considering his reply, Kakashi reaches out and flips through the shuffle of his MP3 player until he finds the song he wants. Sasuke is able to identify the song immediately and blushes faintly. He takes the two steps that closes the distance between them, sliding his arms around Kakashi's waist, and feeling the older man's arms wrap around his upper back, drawing Sasuke in against his chest as they begin to sway slowly in time to the song. After a few moments, Sasuke realizes that Kakashi is quietly singing along with the song as they dance just in time to catch the chorus. "Love bites, love bleeds. It's bringing me to my knees. Love lives, love dies. It's no surprise. Love begs, love pleads. It's what I need."

Lifting his head, Sasuke looks up into Kakashi's eyes, getting lost in his gaze. He doesn't realize they've stopped dancing until he feels the brush of Kakashi's lips against his forehead, then his nose. Just before their lips could meet, Sasuke hears Naruto hurrying down the hall calling out to him. He stiffens and is just about to turn around when Naruto bursts into the room, speaking rapidly. Sasuke turns quickly to look at his best friend and Naruto's words stop abruptly as his gaze flickers from Sasuke to Kakashi and back again. Sasuke opens his mouth to say something to Naruto, though he doesn't know what words would fix what was wrong because he didn't _know_ what was wrong. He sees pain flash through Naruto eyes so fast he nearly misses it before anger takes its place. Eyebrows coming down over his eyes and jaw setting, Naruto turns and walks back out the door, muttering as he leaves, "Sorry to interrupt"

Feeling a flare of impatience, immediately replaced by guilt, Sasuke steps forward out of the circle of Kakashi's arms, moving across the room, stopping at the door. He lifts his hand and rests it against the door jamb, then lets his head drop forward, hair hanging in his face. When the music suddenly stops, Sasuke sighs and lifts his head, turning back around to look at Kakashi across the room. The concern he sees on his face makes warmth spread through his chest, his heart thudding a little faster, but the look in his eyes distracts Sasuke, making the warmth in his chest go cold. Kakashi's eyes showed fear, nervousness and resignation. It takes a few moments for everything to click into place and make sense, and Sasuke's legs nearly collapse under him as his knees go weak in reaction. Kakashi was in love with Sasuke, he knew that, but what he didn't know was that Kakashi apparently thought that there was something more than affection between himself and Naruto, and now, in Kakashi's eyes, Sasuke was running to Naruto to fix things, leaving Kakashi behind and alone.

"Kakashi, I'm sorry, but I've got to go talk to Naruto. I've got to know what's going on with him."

When Kakashi only nods, Sasuke sighs and forces himself to stop being a coward. He walks back across the room and looks up at the older man, pained at the uncertainty he wasn't used to seeing in his eyes. He reaches out and places a hand on Kakashi's chest and gives him the best smile he can manage. "But, I will be back later. I owe you a dance after all."

Sasuke watches the uncertainty slowly fade away, and he feels that ball of ice in his chest melt away. Watching the smile spread across his face and light up his eyes, Sasuke catches his breath, realizing in that instant just how much he loved Kakashi's smile. Smiling in return, Sasuke trails his fingers down Kakashi's chest, then turns and walks out of his study, heading off to Naruto's room. Stopping outside of Naruto's door, he decides it's time for him and Naruto to talk about everything they'd avoided talking about in the past. It was time to get feelings out in the open and dealt with before their friendship crumbled.

Taking a deep breath and squaring his shoulders, Sasuke opens Naruto's door and steps into the room. He closes the door firmly behind him and glares across the room at his best friend where he sat, slouched on the edge of his bed. "What the hell was that all about, you idiot?" Sasuke demands before Naruto has a chance to speak.

Naruto stands up and returns Sasuke's glare, making him feel instantly better. If Naruto was ready to fight, it couldn't be too late to fix what was wrong between them. "You and Kakashi seemed pretty intent on your making out, so I didn't want to disturb you. Not wanting to be rude doesn't make me an idiot."

Sasuke closes the distance between them and glares harder at Naruto, giving his friend a shove so he falls back to sit on the edge of the bed again. "No, what makes you an idiot is assuming that we were making out."

"Oh come off it Sasuke, I saw the two of you! You were standing there with your arms around each other. He was bent over you, kissing you."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto and leaned down so his face was right in his friend's, his next words coming out calm and quiet, but full of threat. "We were standing with our arms around one another because we were _dancing_, not because we were making out. And he was bent over me because he probably _was_ going to kiss me, you're right about that at least, but that's not making out. Either way, what do you care if I make out with him? You pushed me to move in here with him for months. What's changed?"

Naruto pushes Sasuke back and jumps to his feet again. "I never said I cared! I said I didn't want to interrupt you!"

Sasuke crosses his arms over his chest and shakes his head. "Bullshit, Naruto, I saw the look in your eyes. I saw the pain that flashed when you first saw Kakashi and I standing together like that." Sasuke draws a deep breath when Naruto winces, steeling his nerves to ask what he'd been afraid to ask for so long. "Are you in love with me?"

Naruto takes an abrupt step back, tripping and dropping down to sit on the edge of the bed again, his eyes gone wide and a flush lighting up his cheeks. "Why the hell would you think something like that?"

"Just answer the question, Naruto."

He stays silent for so long, Sasuke isn't sure Naruto is going to answer him. When his shoulder slump, rounding in defeat, Sasuke knows the answer. When he speaks, Sasuke barely hears his single word reply over the ringing in his ears. "Yes."

Stunned, Sasuke backs up until he bumps against the closed bedroom door. Slowly he slides down to the floor, sitting there and staring at his friend in stunned silence. On some level he'd always known about his friend's feelings, but to hear them confirmed after so many years together was a shock. Shaking his head to try and clear it, Sasuke turns his gaze down to the floor in between his feet, as if the answers he needed could be found there. Drawing a deep breath, Sasuke lifts his gaze back up to Naruto, finally understanding everything that had been going on with Naruto since they'd moved into Kakashi's home. Shaking his head again, Sasuke rubs his hands briskly over his face, then back through his slightly long black hair. He drops his arms, wrists resting on his knees and just stares at Naruto, trying to figure out what the right thing to say was in this moment.

"Why didn't you ever say anything?" he finally asks.

Naruto shrugs, his head dropping as if he was embarrassed "By the time I figured it out, Kakashi was already in the picture. I knew right off that he was in love with you, and the way you talked about him, I knew you were, if not already falling in love with him, on the verge of it. I knew that he could give you more than I ever could. The more I thought about it after we moved in here, the more I realized that you'd be happier with him than you ever would be with me."

Sasuke frowns, still too stunned to muster up proper anger. "Don't you think that was my decision to make?"

Naruto looks up then, giving Sasuke a rueful smile as he shrugs again. "Your heart had already made that decision for you. And believe it or not, I made my peace with that a long time ago, and I'm ok with it."

Sasuke snorts and manages a slight glare. "You couldn't prove it by me."

Naruto grins then, something close to his usual obnoxious grin that Sasuke had always loved and hated. "Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. It's taken me a while to sort it all out and understand the way I was feeling, and by then I was too embarrassed to say anything to you."

"Well, how about you tell me now?"

Naruto nods and draws a deep breath, letting it out on a sigh. "You're right, you deserve to know. Especially after the way I've been acting.

"Our first morning here, I noticed the way you looked at Kakashi. I knew you were flirting with him, and I watched as you gradually began to flirt with him more and more. At first I was jealous, but it was only a small spurt of jealousy, nothing like I would have expected. So, I ignored it. Then I found myself always getting angry any time I thought about the two of you together, or saw you flirting with one another. I saw the way I was acting toward you both and I felt bad, but couldn't seem to stop the anger. I finally sat down and sorted through those feelings and realized why the anger was so much stronger than the jealousy and so much quicker to come."

Naruto pauses again to draw another steadying breath before he continues. "I was in love with you, yes, but not the same way Kakashi is, and not the same way you're falling in love with Kakashi. What I felt went a little beyond friendship. I loved you like a brother. I wasn't jealous because I wanted to be with you. I was jealous because I saw Kakashi slowly taking you away from me. I was angry because I'd helped him take you away from me. We've been together and so close for so long that I guess I couldn't stand the thought of someone else being in your life and being more important to you than I am."

Sasuke blinks, letting all of this sink in, his head spinning from Naruto's confession. "But," he begins hesitantly, "he's not taking me away from you. And he'll never be more important to me than you are."

Naruto nods and sighs miserably. "I know that. Your feelings for each of us is very different. He's important to you in a way that's different from the way I'm important to you. Knowing that doesn't make it any easier on me. It's always been just you and me, and I guess a big part of me wants it to stay that way."

Sasuke doesn't know what to say, so he just shakes his head, staring at his best friend. When he doesn't reply, Naruto nods and gives him the obnoxious grin again. "That's why I wanted to find a job and get out of here so bad. I wanted to leave before I fucked up our friendship beyond repair." He pauses and looks at Sasuke, biting uncertainly at his bottom lip. "I love you Sasuke, and I always will, but if I don't get away from you, I'm going to ruin our friendship."

Sasuke can only nod, too stunned and confused to know what to say. Instead he pushes himself slowly to his feet and pulls the door open again. He glances back at Naruto once, then steps out and pulls the door closed behind him. Having a lot to think about, Sasuke heads off down the hall, moving in stunned silence through the house. Without even thinking, he walks to the closet by the front door and pulls one of Kakashi's jackets off a hanger inside and wraps himself in it before pulling open the front door and stepping out into the biting cold of the winter evening. For the first time since Sanari's last attack, Sasuke went out by himself with no fear. The back of his mind soothed any fear that might spring up with a reminder that Sanari didn't know he was here.

So, setting off at a slow pace, Sasuke walks down the long driveway, turning left at the end and just walks, not knowing where he's going and not caring. He worked through everything Naruto had said in his head until he realized that his shock wasn't so much about everything Naruto had kept from him, but the fact that Naruto was right about Sasuke's feelings. He _did_ love Kakashi, or was beginning to truly love him at the very least. And it was because of that growing emotion that was so alien to him that he'd failed to notice and comprehend what his friend was going through. He feels guilt flare through him at first, but it eases under the knowledge that Naruto had known what was going on with Sasuke, so he'd understand the lack of insight on his friend's part. Behind the guilt came an awkward shyness that was almost painful, making Sasuke stumble as he walked. To finally face and acknowledge his feelings, bring them into the light, made Sasuke uncertain. He'd never been in love before.

At last, exhausted and clearer in his head than he had been, Sasuke turns back toward home. He smiles to himself when he realizes that he was already considering Kakashi's home as his own home. When he gets back, he doesn't see anyone, and he's glad because he didn't think he was up for questions. Instead he slips quietly out of Kakashi's jacket and rehangs it in the closet, then heads up to his room. He undresses in the dark, and stretches out in the bed on his back, hands pillowed behind his head. Staring up at the ceiling, Sasuke finally realizes that he'd just spent the longest amount of time out of the safe presence of Kakashi for the first time since he'd moved in. He was surprised, but proud to know that he'd at least mastered his fear that much. Sasuke fell asleep with that pride, not knowing that he hadn't been alone at all, that Kakashi had followed him the entire time, staying out of sight so that Sasuke could have his privacy.

When he woke up the next morning, Sasuke found a dark blue MP3 player laying on the table next to his bed on top of his cigarettes. Blinking, he sits up and picks the small device up, glancing down as a small piece of paper flutters to the floor. He bends down and picks it up, but before he reads it, he tucks the earbuds into his ears and turns the player on. Hearing the song that he'd heard Kakashi singing the day before that had led to Sasuke taking that next step in accepting and understanding his feelings, Sasuke smiles. He picks up the note and reads the two simple sentence in Kakashi's neat handwriting scratched across the paper: _Now you can enjoy music even when I'm not singing for you. We'll add songs with each dance we share._

Leaning over, Sasuke drops the note back onto the bedside table and pulls a cigarette from the pack and lights it. When the first song ends and the next begins, Sasuke grins widely, feeling his cheeks heating with a flush that he doesn't mind for once. It was the song they'd been dancing to when Naruto arrived, and it made the second sentence in his note make sense. At that moment Sasuke found himself looking forward to his next dance with Kakashi more than he'd ever looked forward to anything else in his life.

* * *

**AN:** The songs quoted in this chapter in no way belong to me. (Don't I wish! They kick ass! XD) If you don't know them and are curious, the first is "Falling Inside The Black" by Skillet, and the second is "Love Bites" by Def Leppard. If you've not heard either of the songs, I highly reccomend both. They can be found on YouTube of course.

Also, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter written and posted, but I've been really battling my muse. At first I didn't know what was going to happen on this chapter, then I heard three songs on my shuffle (the one Kakashi was singing when Sasuke walked into the study, then the two quoted in the chapter.) and I had inspiration at last. But, I had a hard time bridging that scene between Kakashi and Sasuke with the scene between Sasuke and Naruto. This afternoon I finally just sat down and started writing without thinking about it and it flowed easily. I was relieved. lol

The next 2 chapters are already pretty strong in my head. Chapter 10 (Sasuke's next chapter) being the strongest of the two. So, expect it won't take quite so long until the next chapter. But, if it does take a while, it shouldn't take _as_ long and it won't be for the same reason. :p (The new Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter novel by Laurell K Hamilton came out today, and my nose will be burried in it more often than not over the next few days until I get finished reading it.)

One last note (Sorry for going long-winded. lol) for those that are curious what the song was that Kakashi was first singing that drew Sasuke down the hall, it was "Already Over" by Red. Again, I highly recommend the song, and it can be found on YouTube.

**EDIT:** Typo found by a reader on DA. "Her" rather than "his" was used in reference to Sasuke. Can't believe no one caught that before now. ;) Fixed now!


	9. Chapter 9

It seemed to Kakashi that he saw less of Sasuke after Naruto's interruption than he did when Sasuke was still living on the streets. Of course, he knew that it was his own dark mood that made him feel that way. He didn't know what had been said that evening, but ever since, Naruto had been moody and quiet and when he was there, he spent most of his time in his room. It was Ms Mimi, the cook, that told Kakashi that Naruto had found a job and was already actively looking for his own place. Kakashi wasn't surprised that Naruto was talking to the woman, she was easy to talk to. Kakashi used to confide in her himself when he was young.

No one on the staff talked to Sasuke however. He spent most of the day locked away in his room, not talking to anyone. He would emerge for meals, but long after everyone else had eaten, and he didn't speak to anyone when he was out. He did see Sasuke come out of the library once, and seeing the hallow look around his eyes, Kakashi knew the boy hadn't been sleeping well, which just made him want to storm into Sasuke's room and demand some answers. Kakashi wanted to take care of the boy, but he couldn't do that unless Sasuke let him, and at that moment, Sasuke wasn't letting him. Knowing that forcing the issue would be counter-productive, Kakashi reluctantly let it go, waiting for Sasuke to decide it was time to let someone in to help.

Gradually things began to return to normal, or something similar to normal. Naruto was still quiet, but he didn't always walk around like he had the world resting on his shoulders. Sasuke started venturing from his room more often, though he was quiet and awkward around Kakashi. He didn't understand what had changed since that day in his study, but it was clear something had changed and Kakashi was confused. He asked his cook on several occasions if Sasuke had said anything to her and she just shook her head and smiled at him. A few times, Kakashi caught a knowing look on Naruto's face as he looked at Sasuke, but every time he saw that look, Naruto would always hide behind his grin. Kakashi knew better than to try get answers out of Naruto though.

Finally frustrated and worried about the changes in Sasuke, Kakashi walked into the kitchen before lunch and dropped down on a stool, giving his cook a plaintive look. She'd been like a mother to him since he was a child, and he always found it easy to go to her for answers. "What am I missing?"

The plump older woman sets down the knife she had in her hand and smiles pleasantly at Kakashi, giving him a look of confused interest that Kakashi knew was a lie. "About what, dear?"

Kakashi sighs and slumps forward, leaning against the counter she was working at. "Oh come on, don't play with me Ms Mimi, you know what I'm talking about!"

When she frowns at him, Kakashi sits up and leans back slightly, muttering an apology. "I'm sorry, Ms Mimi, it's just that I'm so frustrated and worried about Sasuke. I don't understand what happened. We were getting so close, I thought he was finally ready to take that next step with me, then one talk with Naruto and he changes completely. He avoided everyone for weeks, then when he did come out, he's been so different with me. I can't figure out what's going on, and to be honest it irritates me for not being able to figure this out on my own."

The cook takes up her knife and resumes her work, smiling down at the food she was preparing. "It's not like you to be so testy and impatient, Kakashi. That boy is lucky to have someone love him as much as you do."

Kakashi shakes his head and glowers at the counter top. "I thought he was happy to have my love, but something's changed. Maybe he's decided he's straight. Or maybe he's in love with Naruto and he doesn't know how to tell me."

The cook sets the knife down again with a frustrated sigh. She reaches across to Kakashi and grabs his chin, tilting his head up to look at her before she speaks. "Do you remember when you figured out you were gay?"

Kakashi nods, and frowns at the unexpected question. "Yeah, I was about fourteen. I'd had ideas before then, but I wasn't sure until then."

The older woman nods and stands up straight again. "And do you remember what made you realize you were gay?"

"Sure, it was Obito. He kept teasing me about how much I was watching that older boy that used to play baseball with us. I was talking about him all the time and driving Obito crazy. Finally he told me I should just go tell him that I was in love with him. I thought he was joking again at first, but then something in me just clicked and I realized he was right."

A knowing smile slides onto the plump face and Kakashi leans closer, knowing his answer was coming. "And do you remember what happened after that?"

Kakashi frowns again, his brows drawing down over his eyes. "Yeah, I couldn't play baseball any more after that because every time I got anywhere near that boy I felt so awkward. I couldn't talk, I couldn't-" He stops talking abruptly his head jerks back in shock as he finally understands what he's been missing all this time. "He's figured out he's in love with me," Kakashi whispers.

The cook smiles warmly at him and leans over to cup his cheek affectionately. "How could he not? Go easy on the boy, you've had longer to adjust to being gay and being in love with that boy. Don't go whisking him off to your bed right away you little devil. Stick to your books for a while longer."

Kakashi blushes in spite of himself, always feeling vaguely uncomfortable knowing that the older woman knew about his collection of books. While they weren't hidden, he didn't exactly keep them out in plain sight either. Clearing his throat, Kakashi slides off the stool and murmurs his thanks to the cook before walking out of the kitchen. He heads to his study, pausing in the door to the library to look in. Sasuke was curled up in one of the chairs reading a book. He looked up when Kakashi stepped into the doorway and Kakashi smiled warmly at him. Sasuke blushed, but he did return the smile before hastily dropping his gaze back to the book in his lap. Smiling wider, Kakashi steps back out of the doorway and heads for his study.

He stops just inside his study, glancing back over his shoulder and down the hall toward the library. Smiling again, Kakashi steps into the room and closes the door behind him, making sure to leave it unlocked. Walking across the room, he picks his mail up off the desk and begins to flip through it, stopping to stare at a cream envelope made of some thick paper. He glances at the calendar then back at the envelope and nods, knowing what it was. He sets the rest of his mail aside and slides a finger under the flip of the envelope, opening it. Before he can pull out the card inside, he hears a knock at his study door. Grinning, he turns around he leans back against his desk.

"Come in, Sasuke."

The door opens and Sasuke pokes his head in, frowning and looking a little uncertain. "How did you know it was me?"

Kakashi smiles at Sasuke, watching him shift nervously at the door. Turning his attention back down to the envelope in his hands, he reaches in and pulls the card out. As he scans what's written on the card, he answers Sasuke's question, listening to the boy moving completely into the room. "Because I know that none of my staff would be coming and knocking on my study door right now. I've either just talked to them recently, or they are busy. Because I know the sound of the knock for each member of my staff. And because I knew when I left the library that you would follow me."

Sasuke remains quiet long enough for Kakashi to look up at him once more, seeing him frowning and shifting his weight nervously from one foot to the other. Kakashi reaches back and drops the envelope and card on the desk next to him, then props his palms on the edge of the desk on either side of himself, watching Sasuke, waiting for the boy to come to a decision. He doesn't goad the boy any more, not wanting to scare him off, and he tries not to grin at him, not knowing just how much or how little it would take to make him bolt at that moment. When Sasuke relaxes slightly, the frown sliding away, Kakashi feels himself relax as well, releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"Uh, yeah, ok. I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. I wanted to tell you I'm sorry about not coming back for that dance before like I promised. And I'm sorry I've been so anti-social since that night. I've just had a lot on my mind that I've been trying to work out. And I..." Sasuke trails off, his gaze dropping back to the floor as color crawls up his cheeks once more, making Kakashi grin.

"It's ok, Sasuke, I understand perfectly. I know what you're going through. Or at least, part of it. I don't know exactly what's going on between you and Naruto, but the rest of it I understand because I've been there myself. I wasn't much younger than you at the time."

Sasuke looks up at him sharply, clearly trying to decide if he was being teased or not. When Kakashi only stands there smiling sincerely at him, he sees the fight drain out of the boy. He's surprised to see that some of the shy awkwardness seems to slip away as well. Kakashi doesn't move, doesn't even breath when Sasuke takes his first tentative step toward him. Kakashi just leans against the desk, smiling invitingly at Sasuke, encouraging him silently with the look in his eyes. As Sasuke moves across the room, Kakashi feels his heart begin to beat rapidly in his chest, and when Sasuke stops in front of him, he finally draws a single shallow breath.

"You know?"

Kakashi nods, then has the decency to look embarrassed and glance away for a moment. "I know, but only because Ms Mimi all but slammed the idea in my head. She reminded me of the first time I fell in love with another man, figuring out that I was gay. I acted around him much the way you've been around me. I feel rather foolish for not figuring it out on my own. I guess I'm just too close to the situation to see it objectively."

Sasuke just shakes his head, resuming shifting his weight from one foot to the other again. He clears his throat and Kakashi can see the effort it costs the boy to maintain eye contact with him. "I see, well... I just wanted to say I'm sorry and I wanted to make it up to you since I missed our dance."

Kakashi grins at the boy and reaches back to take up the card off his desk once again. "Do you really?" When Sasuke nods, Kakashi holds up the card. "Then this would be the perfect chance."

Sasuke's eyes flick down to the card, then back up to Kakashi's face. "What's that?"

"An invitation to a Christmas party. It's one of my father's old business partners. One of the only ones that never turned on him. He has this party around this time every year, and every year since I turned eighteen he's invited me. Usually I go alone. His wife always tells me I should bring a date, that I need to find someone and settle down. So, this year I think I'll do what she wants. What do you say Sasuke? Will you be my date Saturday night?"

Sasuke just stares at Kakashi, looking uncertain. He doesn't answer for so long Kakashi's beginning to think he's going to refuse. When he speaks, he sounds as uncertain as he looks. "A party? I don't know Kakashi. I don't know any of these people, what will I say to them?"

Kakashi shrugs, then smiles reassuringly. "Anything you want. I don't really know them either. Look, you don't have to be rich and worldly to go to this party, you just have to be my date. And we don't have to stay the whole night if you don't want to. We can go for an hour or so, dance a few times, then leave."

Sasuke looks up at Kakashi, thinking about it and Kakashi sees the moment that Sasuke makes up his mind and he relaxes for a moment before a thrill of pleasure goes through him. "Ok Kakashi, I'll go with you. Our first date. This isn't exactly what I imagined our first date would be like though."

Kakashi raises his eyebrows, grinning at Sasuke. "You've been imagining our first date?"

Sasuke's face lights up a deep crimson that would do any Christmas stocking proud. Kakashi clears his throat to keep from chuckling as Sasuke begins to back toward the door. "Uh, yeah, I'll uh, let you get back to whatever you were doing. I'm reading a new book that I'd like to finish up. Just, uh, let me know more about this party tomorrow so I can get ready for it."

And with that, Sasuke was gone, closing the door firmly behind him. Kakashi waits several minutes until he's sure Sasuke has returned to the library, then bursts out laughing, amused by the boy's nervous embarrassment. After a few moments, his laughter turns from humour to pure joy. After so many months he was finally going to have his first date with Sasuke, and if he has his way it would be a very memorable night, and the best first date anyone has ever had. He didn't want to disappoint Sasuke, not when his feelings were still so new and so vulnerable. Turning around, Kakashi drops the invitation on his desk. Reaching out he grabs his cell phone, calling to confirm that he and a date would be at the party. He's still grinning so broadly, he's afraid he won't be able to speak clearly, but he can't make himself stop grinning as he begins to plan this perfect first date in his head.


	10. Chapter 10

Sasuke stepped out into the cold night air, nervous and having doubts about his decision to accept Kakashi's invitation, but the moment his eyes settled on the older man standing next to him limo, smiling for Sasuke, all the doubts fled. Smiling himself, Sasuke tugged at the lapels of his new suit jacket though it wasn't out of place. Pulling the door closed behind him, Sasuke draws a deep breath and walks down the steps and across the short distance to the limo and his waiting date. He stops to give Kakashi a moment to have a good look at him since this was the first time Sasuke had worn the suit since Kakashi had bought it for him. Sasuke took the opportunity to let his gaze travel over Kakashi as well. Of course, Sasuke had seen Kakashi dressed up several times since he'd first met him, but he never could pass up the chance to really look at the older man.

"You look quite handsome in that suit, Sasuke."

Glancing up at Kakashi, Sasuke smiles again, then steps past him and slides into the limo as he replies. "Thank you, but I feel strange. I've never dressed like this before." When Kakashi slides in and settles next to him, Sasuke glances at him again, feeling a nervous twitching beginning in his stomach once again. "You on the other hand look amazing, as always."

Kakashi smiles at Sasuke, making his already twitching stomach do somersaults. "Thank you, Sasuke. Just give it time, you'll be as comfortable as I am dressed like this."

Sasuke frowns slightly and slouches in the seat, shoulders hunched, not caring if it wrinkles his clothes. "I don't know about that. I'm just not a fancy kind of guy. Besides, I don't think it's all about the clothes, I think a lot of it is nerves. I honestly don't know how comfortable I am about meeting a bunch of strangers. I mean, I'm just some street kid you picked up and took in."

When Kakashi reaches out and takes hold of Sasuke's chin, he allows himself to be turned to face the older man, and the look he sees on Kakashi's face stops his breath in his chest and temporarily blots out any doubts he had. "You are _not_ just some street kid I picked up. You are the one I love, and that more than anything else makes you worthy of being in the company of these people and any others."

Sasuke blinks at Kakashi, surprised at the vehemence in his voice and the fierce look on his face. Feeling heat sliding up his cheeks, Sasuke tries to look away, but Kakashi's bright black eyes hold his gaze until he relaxes. "I'm sorry, Kakashi. Thank you."

Kakashi stares intently at Sasuke for a few moments longer, then drops his hand away from his chin, resting it on his shoulder instead as a smile spread across his face. "Don't worry so much, you'll be fine. I promise. Besides, don't forget the promise I made you when you agreed to go with me. We'll only stay for about an hour, then we'll leave. I've already made other plans for the rest of the evening."

"Really? What are we going to do after we leave this party, go to another one?" Sasuke asks with a laugh.

Kakashi just grins at him, sliding the hand on Sasuke's shoulder down his arm, taking Sasuke's hand lightly in his for a moment. "We'll call it a private party and leave it at that. You'll just have to wait and see."

Kakashi lets go of Sasuke's hand, making a pang of regret spike through Sasuke followed immediately by the awkward shyness he'd been fighting since he'd realized that he truly did love Kakashi. Kakashi reaches out and presses a button and music begins to fill the back of the limo. Sasuke sits back with a smile, content to listen to the music so he can settle his nerves. He decides almost instantly that he likes the song, and when he turns his head to ask Kakashi the name of the song, he finds the older man sitting sideways in the seat to watch his face intently as he listened to the song. Unable to think with Kakashi looking at him like that, Sasuke just sits back and listens. When it ends and the next song begins to play, he glances back at Kakashi, blushing faintly.

"What are you thinking, Sasuke?"

"Well, I was thinking that I liked that song, and I was going to ask you what it was called, but you were staring at me so intently I knew it had some meaning to you, so I really listened to it, to hear what you hear."

"And what did you hear?"

Sasuke shifts, suddenly nervous, not wanting to sound like an idiot if he's wrong. Glancing at Kakashi he has a spurt of confidence, just _knowing_ that he's right about what he's thinking. "This song expresses the way you felt about me when I was still living on the street."

Kakashi studies him so intently for so long, Sasuke begins to feel nervous again, that earlier confidence slipping a bit until Kakashi smiles at him. The warmth of that one smile lights up Kakashi's face and warms Sasuke from his heart outward until his entire body is suffused in a warm glow that he now knew was love. "You're very perceptive, and even more than that, you're smart. It's just too bad you didn't have a chance at a proper education when you were growing up, who knows what you could have become."

Sasuke smiles at Kakashi, feeling pride join that warm glow of love. He shrugs his shoulders, then grins a bit slyly. "Actually, I do have some education. My mother taught me to read when I was really young, and I always enjoyed reading. I'd think that would be pretty obvious the way I'm going through your library. After what happened to my family and I ran off to live in the streets, I learned other hard lessons quickly. One of my first lessons was that you had to stay warm or you weren't going to make it. I saw too many kids that froze to death on the streets. But, when the shelters are closed or full, you have to find other ways to stay warm. It didn't take me long to figure out the best place to go, during the day at least, was to the library. It was open to the public and it didn't matter if I had money or not. I could stay there all day reading if I wanted, and I usually did. Basically, I taught myself anything and everything I wanted to know. It may not be a traditional education, and it won't give me a high school diploma, but it kept me happy and a lot of that knowledge was quite useful over the years."

Kakashi looks at Sasuke so intently he begins to squirm, wondering what the older man was thinking this time. As if he'd read his thoughts, Kakashi answered the unasked question. "That really does answer a lot of the questions I've had about you from the start. You've always seemed rather bright to me, and when I paired that with your grammar, spelling and punctuation in that note you left me in the hospital, I'd wondered how you could show all the signs of a good education when I knew there wasn't much of a chance you got an education living on the streets."

Sasuke shifts uncomfortably, unsure why Kakashi's praise suddenly made him so uncomfortable, when earlier it has filled him with pride. "Yeah, well, it may not have been traditional, but it was still an education." Clearing his throat, Sasuke changed the subject, suddenly not wanting to talk about his time on the streets anymore. "So, what was that song anyway?"

Kakashi smiles and leans back in the seat once more. "It's called 'Yours To Hold' and it's sung by the group Skillet. We'll add it to your MP3 player when we get home tonight."

Sasuke smiles and starts to answer, but feeling the limo come to a stop, he turns and looks out the window at the huge house they'd pulled up in front of. Shaking his head, Sasuke draws a deep breath and glances at Kakashi one last time for reassurance as the door is opened. Before Kakashi can slide out of the car, Sasuke reaches out and takes hold of his hand. Kakashi pauses and gives it one reassuring squeeze before stepping out of the car. Sasuke closes his eyes for a moment, then slides out behind Kakashi. He stands behind him until Kakashi reaches back and takes his hand, pulling him up next to him. Sasuke glances up at the house, then turns his gaze down to the ground in front of him, suddenly feeling intimidated by the large building.

After that everything seemed to happen in a blur. Sasuke never had a chance to be nervous, but he never quite managed to be comfortable either. He was introduced to their host and hostess, the Tezukas, and then to several other couples whose names he couldn't remember. Each time he seemed to have a moment alone with Kakashi and a chance to catch his breath, someone else would come along to be introduced. The last straw for Sasuke came when a woman came along and dragged Kakashi away by his arm, chattering on and on about the amount of time it had been since she'd seen Kakashi. Just before they got out of earshot, Sasuke got the impression that they'd known one another as kids and the loud blonde woman had been in love with Kakashi. Sasuke stood rooted to the spot he'd been left in, watching Kakashi across the room. When Kakashi turned and shrugged helplessly, Sasuke shook his head and turned, heading out of the room. He moved quickly through the house, backtracking to the front door.

Stepping outside into the cold night air, Sasuke pulls his cigarettes from the inside pocket of his suit jacket and flips one out. He pulls the cigarette out and sticks it in his mouth and slides the pack back into his pocket with one hand as the other pulls his lighter from the pants pocket he'd dropped it in. Once the cigarette was lit, Sasuke slid the lighter back into his pocket and left his hand there to keep it out of the cold. Stepping out of the entryway to the top of the steps, Sasuke looked out across the property to the distant horizon, his eyes moving from one bright spot to another that showed the lights of the nearby city. He's so absorbed by his thoughts and his contemplation of the lights in the distance, he doesn't hear it when someone moves up behind him. When a hand is placed on his shoulder, Sasuke utters a startled cry, jumping and dropping his nearly finished cigarette. Before he can turn around to see who had snuck up behind him, Kakashi speaks quickly from behind him, soothing Sasuke.

"Hey, hey! Calm down! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Are you alright?"

"Shit," Sasuke breathes out with feeling as he turns and looks up at Kakashi. "I didn't hear you come out." Closing his eyes, Sasuke leans against Kakashi's chest, relaxing when he feels the older man wrap his arms around him. Sasuke just stands there until his heartbeat slows back to normal, then steps back and looks up at Kakashi again. "What are you doing out here anyway?"

"Looking for you of course. I saw you leave. I'm sorry about being dragged off like that. Kristin has always been extremely pushy. She's also one of those morons that refuses to believe that I'm gay. She thinks that I just need a good woman in my life."

Sasuke frowns slightly as he thinks about this, the frown slowly turning to a scowl. "And she wants to be that woman." It wasn't a question, Sasuke knew by the way she was acting that he was right.

Kakashi just nods, looking disgusted. "I never liked her much when we were kids, before I figured out I was gay. My coming out of the closet had nothing to do with that, but she refuses to see that point, or accept it." Kakashi shakes as if to rid himself of something unpleasant, then smiles down at Sasuke once again. "So, I think it's time we got out of here, don't you?"

Sasuke smiles back at him and nods. "Yes, I do. We haven't had our dance yet though."

Kakashi shrugs and steps back from Sasuke, taking one of his hands and leading him down the front steps to the waiting limo. "That's ok, you can't really dance to Christmas music anyway, I don't care what anyone says. I'll have to give you a rain check on that dance. Besides, I have something much more pleasant in mind. But first, we need to go home and change clothes."

"Change? Why? Where are we going?"

Kakashi grins at him then slides into the limo, pulling Sasuke in behind him. "Somewhere cold. We need to dress warmly."

Sasuke doesn't bother trying to get any other information, knowing he wasn't going to get any. Instead, he leans against Kakashi and listens to the music on the ride back home. When they step inside, he expects to find Naruto waiting, and when he doesn't he's confused until he remembers that Naruto had taken an extra shift at his new job. Sasuke had a feeling he'd done that so he wouldn't be in the way when he and Kakashi returned from their date. Shaking his head, Sasuke heads up to his room and changes out of the suit into jeans and a sweatshirt, trading the dress shoes for sneakers then heads back down to the entry all. Kakashi was waiting for him, coat in hand. Sasuke slips into the coat, then takes Kakashi's hand as they head back out to the limo.

Thinking for a minute that he'd find out what Kakashi had planned when he told his driver where to take them, Sasuke is disappointed when Kakashi doesn't say a word. Sasuke figures out quickly that Kakashi had told the man where he was to take them when Sasuke wasn't around to hear. He shakes his head, grinning at just how sneaky the man could be, admitting silently that the secret, while frustrating was kind of fun. It seemed they hadn't been driving long at all when Kakashi turned to him, holding up a strip of black cloth. Sasuke looks at it frowning, then glances up at Kakashi, waiting for the explanation.

"It's a blindfold."

"Blindfold? For what?"

"For you."

Sasuke sighs in exasperation, but smiles in spite of himself. "You know what I mean."

Kakashi grins at him and leans over, tying the bit of cloth over his eyes. "I told you, I want this to be a surprise."

Sasuke laughs, a bit giddy from excitement and settles back in the seat, waiting for his surprise. He reaches out toward Kakashi, and when the older man takes his hand, Sasuke twines their fingers together then lays his head back against the seat, eyes closed as he waits. When the limo stops an indeterminate time later, Sasuke lifts his head and turns to the left when cold air washes over his face. Kakashi's hand slips out of his and Sasuke hears the older man slide out of the limo. A few moments later Kakashi reaches back in and carefully guides Sasuke out of the limo. Catching a tang of salt on the air, Sasuke knows where they are before the blindfold is pulled away. He stands blinking for several long moments until his eyes adjust once again, then gasps at the beauty of the scene. The beach stretched out before them endlessly, the moonlight making the sand seem to shine like diamonds and dancing on the lightly rolling waves.

Sasuke stands taking it all in for several minutes, then turns to Kakashi, grinning. "Isn't it just a little too cold for a swim?"

Chuckling, Kakashi tosses the blindfold to the driver, then slides his arm around Sasuke and starts walking. They head down to the beach and stop just above the line of the tide. Drawing a deep breath, Kakashi lets it out in a sigh before he finally replies. "You can go swimming if you want, but I'm not crazy enough to. I planned on taking a walk in the moonlight, but I suppose I can walk alone if you'd like to take a dip."

Sasuke laughs and bumps Kakashi's side with his shoulder. "Very funny. I'd never dream of abandoning my date. Even if this is a rather corny idea."

"Corny?" Kakashi asks in mock derision. "Of course it's not! I like to think of it as ridiculously romantic."

Sasuke laughs again and shakes his head. "Where did you pick up _that_ line?"

Kakashi looks down at him grinning, making Sasuke grin back. "From a TV show actually. It's quite good, I think you'd enjoy it. I've got the entire series on DVD, we should watch it some time."

Sasuke nods and stops walking, turning to face Kakashi and sliding his arms around him as he looks up into the older man's face. When Kakashi looks back down at him, Sasuke feels the awkward shyness beginning to take over him again and he fights it, not wanting to ruin this moment. He starts to say something to Kakashi, but realizes he has nothing to say, so instead he just stands looking up at the older man, letting his gaze trace every feature of his face, softened and silvered as it is by moonlight. When Kakashi begins to lean down over him, Sasuke's heart skips a beat then begins to thump rapidly in his chest. Knowing what's coming, he tightens his arms around Kakashi to keep himself from bolting, and when their lips meet at last, he feels an electric jolt that makes him jump. Kakashi hesitates, and fearing that he's going to pull back, Sasuke pushes up, meeting that kiss with one of his own, awkward as it was. When Kakashi relaxes again and begins to truly kiss Sasuke, he thinks he's going to melt from the pleasure of it. Following Kakashi's lead, Sasuke gives and takes, learning how to kiss, happy that Kakashi was his first, his teacher.

When the kiss ends and Kakashi draws back, Sasuke is breathing hard and the world is spinning around him. He steps back slightly, lifting a hand to his mouth. He presses his fingertips to his lips, smiling at the tingling sensation that lingers, feeling as if the kiss continued. He looks back up at Kakashi, and seeing his pleasure mirrored on the older man's face, Sasuke closes the distance he'd put between them, sliding his arm around him, holding him tightly once more. Any awkward shyness was now gone, leaving Sasuke unsure, but content to follow Kakashi's lead and learn from him as they went along. They stood like this, smiling at one another for several minutes, then in silent agreement, then turn and resume their walk down the beach. Neither speaks, not feeling the need to fill the silence with chatter, content with just being together.

It's the cold that eventually saps the joy of the evening out of Sasuke, and it's with great reluctance that he looks up at Kakashi. "I'm getting rather cold. As much as I'm enjoying this, I think it's time to get out of this cold"

Kakashi looks down at him and nods. "You're right. We'll have to do this again and again, but only after the weather warms up."

Sasuke laughs quietly and nods as they turn and head back for the waiting limo. "It's not so bad walking out here in the cold, we just can't walk as long in the cold as we could in a warm summer evening."

"Good point, but I'd still rather wait until it warms up before we do this again. I'd hate to give you pneumonia on one of our dates."

Grinning Sasuke nods and leans his head against Kakashi's shoulder. "True, I don't think I'd like to see you get sick either. So, in the interest of staying healthy, we'll go home and warm ourselves up and wait until at least spring to come back out here and stroll under the moonlight again."

Smiling down at him Kakashi nods. "It's a deal!"

* * *

**AN:** This is a warning for those of you reding this story. It will very likely be a week or so before the next chapter is posted. I have company coming tomorrow, so I'm not going to have much time (if any) for writing over the next week. Of course, I'll try to get a little here, a little there written, so maybe I can get chapter 11 to you sometime in the next week. The fact that I'm going on a mini-hiatus is part of the reason I let this chapter get as long as it did. When I edited, I added. As if it wasn't aleady long enough. lol There was just too much detail that I felt needed to be in this chapter to hide the parts I glossed over... like the party? XD I didn't want to go through a typical party scene with all the introductions because the chapter would have been boring and tediously long.

On a side note, the song mentioned in this chapter I highly reccomend, and it was the song that inspired this story.


	11. Chapter 11

Kakashi lay on his back in the dark, too elated by the success of his first date with Sasuke to sleep. When they had arrived home after their walk on the beach, they had automatically settled in the library, Sasuke's favorite room, talking and getting to know one another. Kakashi hadn't thought there was anything more he could learn about Sasuke, but he'd come to discover over the hours just how wrong he'd been. There were layers to Sasuke that Kakashi thought no one had ever seen before. It was almost as if Sasuke had become a new person before his eyes, and Kakashi loved him more with each revelation. And, as if it were a dance all it's own, they both managed to talk about themselves and ask questions of the other, naturally, as if the conversation had been scripted for them. When they'd finally realized that they had spent several hours just talking, exhaustion set in. It seemed to Kakashi as if just the acknowledgement of time was the key his body needed to remember that it was tired. So, tired but happy, the two had headed upstairs and parted in the hallway, Kakashi going to his room and Sasuke to his.

It had only taken Kakashi a few moments after turning out the lights and slipping under the covers of his own bed to realize that without Sasuke at his side, he wasn't going to be able to sleep. In that moment, after hours of getting closer to Sasuke, Kakashi knew that his whole world was Sasuke now. When Sasuke wasn't with him, his life was empty, incomplete, and to be suffered through rather than enjoyed. With this realization came fear however, because as much as he now knew about Sasuke, what he didn't know yet was how to take that next step. He knew that Sasuke was falling in love with him, but he also knew that it was still new to Sasuke, and as his first love it was probably also frightening for the boy as well, though he knew Sasuke would never admit it. Even after all they'd learned about one another, Kakashi was still afraid to move too quickly, afraid he'd push Sasuke away. The boy had already run from him once because he didn't know how to handle Kakashi's attention and his own feelings that were just beginning to bud. This made Kakashi especially careful of the boy, knowing that it would be entirely too easy for Sasuke to run again.

Rolling onto his stomach with a sigh, Kakashi folds his arms over his pillow and lays his head on his arms, staring across the room to the window where he'd left the curtains open just far enough to allow him to see the moonlight shinning in. A knock at his door jerks Kakashi from his thoughts, and fearing that something was wrong with a member of his staff as no one came to his room in the middle of the night, he rolls to his back and sits up quickly as he calls out quietly, "Yes, come in."

When the door opens just far enough to admit the person that had knocked, Kakashi leans over to flip the switch on a bedside lamp. His hand stops just before it reaches the switch when he realizes that the person now standing just inside his bedroom door was Sasuke. Gasping in surprise, Kakashi leans a little closer toward the door, his heart rising into his throat. It takes him several tries to find his voice, and the ability to speak past his constricted throat. "Sasuke? What is it? Is something wrong?"

"No. Yes." When Sasuke sighs, Kakashi can hear the frustration and relaxes slightly, knowing that it can't be anything too serious if he were only frustrated. Rather than pushing, he waits patiently for Sasuke to gather his thoughts. "There's nothing wrong, I just had a nightmare and now I can't seem to go back to sleep. I'm sorry to come and wake you up in the middle of the night like this."

Kakashi shakes his head and reaches out a hand, patting the bed next to him. "I wasn't asleep, you didn't wake me up. Even if I was sleeping, it's ok. If you ever need me, no matter what time it is, you come to me. I promise I will never mind being woken up if it's you. If you need me, come to me."

Sasuke moves silently across the room and crawls into the bed next to him. Kakashi lays back slowly, holding out a hand to Sasuke, offering comfort with a touch. "Tell me about the dream."

Sasuke's hand turns under the pressure of Kakashi's his fingers twining with Kakashi's automatically. He draws a deep breath then lets it out in a quiet sigh. "I'd rather not talk about it actually. I want to forget it, and replace it with the more pleasant memories of last night."

Kakashi studies Sasuke's profile in the dim light that managed to reach the bed from the open curtains. He sees the tension around Sasuke's eyes easily enough as well as the stiff line of his shoulders. Nodding, he tugs Sasuke down next to him, pulling the younger man into his arms. "That's ok, you don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Kakashi pauses, considering for a moment, and when he continues, he speaks softly, carefully. "You don't have to worry about Sanari anymore. I would have thought dreams of him would have stopped by now." When he feels Sasuke tense in his arms, Kakashi thinks he's found the truth and hurries on to soothe the tension away. "Don't worry, you don't have to talk about it, just listen. I thought that as you settled in here that you'd grow more comfortable and less scared. I've seen you get more comfortable and I thought you were less scared, but if he's haunting your dreams that must not be the case. I would give anything to take this away from you, so if there's anything I can do to help ease you through this, please Sasuke, let me know."

Sasuke nods, and Kakashi feels him relax by inches. The younger man stays quiet for so long, Kakashi begins to think he might have fallen asleep, then Sasuke shifts and turns his head to look at Kakashi. "I'm sorry if I'm bothering you. Normally I'd deal with this by myself, but..." He trails off and turns his head away, missing Kakashi's frown.

Leaning down over the boy, Kakashi speaks quietly into his ear, putting all the conviction he feels into his words, "Don't think that, Sasuke. You are not bothering me. I told you, I'm here for you any time you need me, and I meant just that. You're not alone anymore Sasuke, you've got me to help you shoulder your burdens now, you just have to let me. When I tell you I love you, I don't say it idly Sasuke. You mean more to me than you could possibly know, and I'll do anything and everything I can to protect you. Even if it's just protection from a nightmare. Go to sleep Sasuke, I'll hold you, and as long as you're in my arms, nothing but the most pleasant of dreams will come to you, I promise."

Kakashi feels Sasuke shift in his arms and roll onto his side so they faced one another. Kakashi smiled at the young male in the dim light as he reached up to stroke the back of his fingers down one of Sasuke's cheeks. "I'll not let any hurt come to you, ever again. Sleep soundly knowing you are protected."

Leaning in, Kakashi places a soft kiss against Sasuke's lips, the barest brush of lips then leans back and watches Sasuke as the younger man settles in to sleep. When Sasuke's breathing slows and deepens, Kakashi relaxes next to him, watching him sleep. Moving carefully so as not to disturb him, Kakashi reaches out and places a hand in Sasuke's chest, closing his eyes as he feels the even rise and fall of the sleeping boy's chest. Smiling, he opens his eyes and looks down at Sasuke again, sliding his hand over slightly to feel the slow beating of his heart. Leaning over again, he presses a kiss to Sasuke's forehead, then lifts his hand to brush Sasuke's hair back from his eyes as he leans back, propping himself on one elbow to watch him sleep.

Content to just lay awake and watching Sasuke sleep, Kakashi settles himself comfortably on his side in a position that allowed him to watch Sasuke, but was also comfortable. When a small smile settles on Sasuke's lips, Kakashi smiles himself knowing that the pleasant dreams he'd promised Sasuke had finally come. Settling himself down next to Sasuke, Kakashi pulls the boy close, careful not to wake him as he slides his arms around the younger male. It isn't long before unexpected and undesired sleep claims him. Kakashi's night is filled with pleasant dreams of his own, all heavy with the scent of the boy sleeping in his arms. When Kakashi wakes the next morning Sasuke is still held tightly against his chest. Before he even opens his eyes, he smiles and tilts his head to kiss Sasuke lightly on the forehead. When he gets no response from the boy, he opens his eyes to find him still sound asleep, cuddled against his chest, one arm draped over Kakashi's side.

Kakashi lays, enjoying the warmth of Sasuke's body pressed against his, as well as the feel of the boy in his arms for several minutes. With a sigh of regret he moves slowly and carefully, sliding out from under Sasuke's arm and pulling his own away. He stops moving, propped up on an elbow next to Sasuke and watches him for a few moments to be sure he was still sleeping, then rolls himself out of the bed. Again he just stares down at Sasuke, making sure he was still sleeping soundly. When Sasuke rolls onto his stomach and seems to burrow deeper into the covers, Kakashi smiles and turns to the bathroom. He moves through his morning routine, showering, shaving, brushing his hair and teeth in a happy daze. When he steps out of the bathroom in his bathrobe, he finds his bed empty. He stares at the empty bed for a moment, then frowns in regret. He wasn't very surprised that Sasuke had left as soon as he woke up, so shaking his head, Kakashi moves to his closet to pull out clothes for the day. He pauses once at the closet door thinking he heard something down the hall from his room, but when the sound doesn't repeat itself he just shrugs and steps into the closet, trying to decide what he was going to do with Sasuke for the day.

* * *

**AN:** I apologize for this chapter being so short. I think it's a combination of several factors that made it this short. First is the long period between this chapter and the last. Also, there's the fact that this chapter changed as soon as I started writing. Originally, Sasuke was supposed to come to Kakashi's bed faking having had a bad dream, then as I was writing it became real and integral to the story. (You'll understand in the next chapter.) But, the biggest issue came with the realization what's going to happen in the next chapter. It smacked me right between the eyes, stunning me so completely that I last the line of the story in this chapter. Let me put it this way, KakashiKrazed said something a couple of chapters ago about waiting for the next shoe to drop. Well, it's about to drop and it's a HUGE one. Expect the next chapter to be VERY long and it should be done by Saturday or Sunday at the latest.

Again, I'm sorry this chapter was so short. D: I hope you enjoy it anyway.

P.S. Kakashi watching Sasuke sleep? That scene was originally supposed to be much different, but my shuffle threw "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" by Aerosmith at me as I was writing this chapter and it affected what I wrote. I think if I'd stayed with my original plan, it would've been longer. Sorry. ;)


	12. Chapter 12

Sasuke drifted slowly out of the warm comfort of sleep. He held his eyes closed, trying to decide if he really wanted to wake up, or if he wanted to keep sleeping. Remembering the dreams he'd had the night before, Sasuke snuggles deeper into the bed, pulling the blanket tighter around him as a small pleased groan rumbles in his throat. Laying there drifting somewhere between wakefulness and sleep, Sasuke lets memories of the pleasant dream waft through his mind. With annoying persistence, a quiet noise forces it's way through the pleasant half-dream Sasuke was floating in, forcing him to full wakefulness whether he wanted it or not. Sighing with frustration, Sasuke rolls onto his back and sits up, letting the blanket pool in his lap. He blinks in confusion briefly as he looks around the room, knowing it wasn't his, and at first not knowing _whose_ room is was, or where he was for that matter. The noise that had irritated him awake was clearer with him sitting up, wide awake. It was the sound of a shower running somewhere nearby. When his mind finally clears away the last pleasant vestige of the dreams he'd had the night before, he remembered what had really happened and knew where he was.

Sasuke took his first real look around Kakashi's room, ignoring the blush the was warming his cheeks. He'd been so happy the night before when they finally ended their date and headed to their own rooms for much needed sleep. When the terrible dream about Naruto had come and driven him from his bed, he'd automatically run to Kakashi. The night before he'd needed the comfort he knew only Kakashi could offer him, but in the light of day, he was embarrassed not only by his need, but also by the fact that he'd not even thought before he'd run off down the hall and into Kakashi's arms. His first instinct would normally have been to go check on his best friend, to reassure himself that he had nothing to fear as Naruto was sound asleep in his own bed. He'd had bad dreams about Naruto in the past, and always he'd gone to seek his friend out, occasionally even waking him to talk in the middle of the night until the fears settled themselves enough to allow Sasuke to sleep again. That idea had never occurred to him the night before however, and Sasuke felt something deep inside that could only be described as shame. He almost felt as if he'd betrayed his best friend somehow.

When the sounds from the bathroom stop, Sasuke draws back from his thoughts to glance at the bathroom door. He listens for a moment, then pushes the covers back and slides over to the edge of the bed. He pauses once to look back at the bed longingly, then pushes himself to his feet and hurries across the room to the bedroom door. He pauses once more, looking over to the bathroom door, then pulls the door open and steps out into the hallway. He closes the door silently behind him then leans back against it, eyes closed. He draws a deep breath, letting it out in a long sigh as he takes a moment to savor the memory of falling asleep in Kakashi's arms. Feeling a smile slip onto his face Sasuke pushes away from the door, opening his eyes. The step he'd been about to take turns into a stumble when he finds himself staring across he hall at his glaring best friend.

"N-naruto!"

"It sure didn't take him long to get you in his bed. I'm surprised you let him fuck you so quickly."

Sasuke was too stunned by what Naruto was saying to really understand what he was hearing, his mind refused to make sense of the words in his shock. He stares blankly at Naruto, trying to understand what he'd just heard until Naruto turns and storms off down the hall. When he throws the door to his room open, understanding comes to Sasuke and anger flares hotly inside of him and he tears off down the hall after Naruto. He throws out a hand to stop Naruto from closing the door in his face. Pushing the door open, Sasuke forces his way into Naruto's room, slamming the door shut behind him as he yells at the older boy. "What in the hell was that!?"

Naruto spins around to face Sasuke again, still glaring, but now Sasuke could see the pain behind the anger and he felt his heart sink, fearing that he'd hurt Naruto without meaning to. When Naruto speaks, anger takes over in Sasuke again and his hands ball into fists at his sides. "What in the hell was what? You're the one that's off fucking some old pervert when people are in trouble. It's not my fault I came back here to catch you trying to sneak out of his room and back to yours."

"I wasn't fucking him and he's not some old pervert! What the hell is wrong with you, Naruto?"

Naruto drops down to sit on the edge of the bed, but almost instantly he springs back to his feet and begins to pace back and forth beside the bed. "You came out of his room early in the morning. What else would you be doing in there?"

"Not that it's any of your business what I do or who I do it with," Sasuke growls, "but I was just sleeping in his room. I had a bad dream last night and I couldn't get back to sleep, so I went to Kakashi for comfort. He soothed my fears and held me so I could sleep peacefully. We never did anything more than that. And even if we had, it's none of your concern! Besides, I thought you wanted me to be with him?"

Naruto shakes his head and keeps pacing, now seeming no longer able to look at Sasuke. When he stops and turns to Sasuke again, his glare had slipped a bit, showing more of the pain behind the anger. Now however, there was fear to go with the other two emotions. "Yeah, sure. You're right. Whatever. I shouldn't have come back. I should have just left. It would have been easier."

"What in the hell are you talking about? Damnit Naruto, what's going on?"

When Naruto doesn't answer, just returns to pacing alongside his bed, Sasuke sighs in frustration. With each passing moment of silence, Sasuke feels fear building inside of him until his nerves were raw with it. When Naruto stops pacing, turning to the closet to gather up his clothes, making as if to pack, Sasuke snaps and walks over to him, grabbing his arm and spinning him around. "Talk to me, damnit!"

"He's dead Sasuke! I'm going to jail!"

Sasuke feels as if someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over him, except this coldness went beyond just the outside, chilling his insides as well, ice spiking through his veins. He drops his hand away from Naruto and sways slightly on his feet with the shock of it. Moving over slightly, he grabs blindly for the chair he knew was nearby and sinks into it, still staring up at Naruto. "What are you talking about, Naruto" he whispers.

"Sanari. He's dead." Naruto lifts his hands and slowly pulls open his coat. It's in that moment that Sasuke realizes that Naruto was still in his coat, and that coupled with earlier comments that Sasuke hadn't acknowledged in his anger, he realizes that Naruto must have been out all night, just returning home. Afraid to look, but afraid not to, Sasuke lowers his gaze to Naruto's open coat and gasps in shock at the blood that had soaked into the front of his shirt.

Feeling fear rise up to constrict his throat, Sasuke stares at the large blood stain for several minutes, unable to move, to speak, or even to think. When he's finally able to tear his gaze away from the blood, he looks back into Naruto's face, finally noticing how pale his best friend was. When he noticed that, his mind just opened up, allowing him to see everything he'd been missing when he was looking through the cloudy glass of anger. There were large black rings around Naruto's eyes as if he hadn't slept in days. Those eyes were red-rimmed and swollen as if he'd been crying. His hands were trembling where they were still clutched tightly on either side of his coat, holding it open. Shaking himself now, Sasuke pushes himself out of the chair and walks over to Naruto, pulling his hands away from the coat, then pulling the coat off the older boy and tossing it to the chair. He leads Naruto carefully to the bed and pushes him down, afraid that he was going to fall down if he didn't sit.

"Tell me what happened," Sasuke manages to choke out past the stranglehold his fear still had on his throat.

"Gaara's dead." Naruto stops, frowning, then shakes his head and starts again. "I accidentally ran into Gaara a few weeks ago. I never did think to ask him what he was doing in that neighborhood." Again Naruto stops and shakes his head. This time, he draws a deep, shaking breath, seeming to settle himself as well as his thoughts before continuing once more. "I had just gotten off work. I stepped outside and saw Gaara at the edge of the parking lot. I went over to him, just to say hi because I hadn't seen him since we moved in here. I wanted to know how he was doing, and ask about some of the other guys. He'd been having a few run-ins with his damn father, and I felt bad for him, so I told him where we were staying now and said that if things ever got too bad, and if he needed some place to hide out at for a while, he could come here. I didn't think Kakashi would mind, and besides I was planning to get my own place soon, and I was going to have Gaara come move in with me."

*When Naruto stops talking, Sasuke just sits quietly, waiting for him to continue. "I'm not really sure what happened after that. All the stories I heard were vague at best. Second-hand rumours. stuff like that. The general consensus though was that somehow Sanari found out that Gaara knew where we were. He tried to get Gaara to tell him where we're at, but of course Gaara wasn't about to betray us to Sanari. He'd _never_ do that, no way!" Naruto pauses and closes his eyes as pain twists his face. When he continues, his voice was shaking with barely contained emotion. "The stories are all clear from this point. Sanari cornered Gaara and beat the hell out of him. That is his way after all," Naruto says bitterly. "He beat him so bad people thought he was dead. Sanari picked him up and took him off though and that was it. Word got back somehow that Gaara had been found by some yuppie businessman ditched in an alley. Sanari hadn't beaten him to death. He'd broken Gaara's arms and legs and dumped him next to some office building. He froze to death over the weekend. Last weekend."

Sasuke gasps and leans back, shocked by the cruelty of this. Seeing the pain and the guilt in Naruto's eyes, Sasuke reaches out and takes his friend's hands in his, trying not to notice that he was ice cold. "Naruto, it wasn't your fault! Sanari killed Gaara, not you."

Naruto laughs a bit shakily, and without humour at this and shakes his head. "No, I didn't kill Gaara, but Gaara died to protect me. He didn't deserve that. No one did."

Sasuke nods and leans closer, trying to get Naruto to look at him rather than staring off into his own dark thoughts. "You're right. The police will catch Sanari and he'll be punished for what he did to Gaara."

Naruto laughs again, this one not quit sane, and Sasuke winces at the edge of insanity to it. "No they won't. I told you Sasuke, he's dead. I killed him."

"You killed him."

Naruto nods and pulls his hands back, pulling at the bloody shirt he was still wearing. "When I heard what Sanari had done to Gaara, and knowing that Gaara died like that to protect us... I just snapped. I lost it. Everything went red, and when I was myself again I was standing over Sanari and he and I were both covered in blood, and I had a knife in my hand. I knew he was dead and I'd killed him. I don't remember killing him, but it's pretty obvious I did." Again, the half crazy laugh bubbles up from Naruto and makes Sasuke wince. "I didn't know what to do. I tossed the knife in a dumpster and ran. I came back here and you and Kakashi were all cozy in the library talking. I'd forgotten about your date. I didn't want to ruin your first date, because I know you're really starting to love the guy, so I just left again. I finally decided I needed to come get my stuff and get the hell out of here before the cops catch up to me. I don't want to go to jail, but I know that if they catch me, jail is the least of my worries. I don't want to die."

Sasuke leans forward slowly until his arms rested across his legs, his head hanging between his knees. When he was sure he wasn't going to throw-up or pass out, Sasuke sits back up slowly and turns to look at Naruto who was still staring back into the memory of what he'd done the night before. Completely unbidden a realization pops into Sasuke's head that makes him wince again as guilt and pain jolt through his heart. When he'd been out walking on the beach with Kakashi, having his first kiss, and talking for hours with this man that was new to his life, his best friend, the one that had always been there for him for the past ten years had been killing someone to defend both their lives. When Naruto had needed him most, he'd been with Kakashi. His guilt began to build as he realizes that Naruto had been right, Kakashi was taking Naruto's place in his life.

Shaking these thoughts from his head, and trying to smother the guilt, Sasuke stands up and reaches down to Naruto, pulling him to his feet as well. "We have to get you out of here before the cops come. One of Sanari's groupies might have followed you back here. Don't worry about packing up all of your stuff, just get some clothes. I'll come back and get the rest of our stuff in a while when things calm down a bit." Sasuke pauses and frowns at the blood on Naruto's shirt then glances over at his coat, still laying in the chair where Sasuke had tossed it. "Why isn't there any blood on your coat?"

Naruto looks around at the coat, seeming dazed, but slowly coming back to himself with Sasuke taking charge. "I didn't have it on when I went after Sanari. I was wearing my old jacket when I went down there to check on Gaara. Y'know, my old orange and black one that I've had for years now."

Sasuke stares at the coat laying in the chair for a while longer, forcing his mind to slow so he can work things out. Giving his head a shake, Sasuke gives Naruto a small push toward his closet. "Go pack up some of your clothes. Get the warmest ones you can, but don't pack up too much, I don't know how long we'll have to run and I don't want it slowing you down." Sasuke turns and hurries across the room to the door, heading for his own room, but pauses in the doorway to look back at the coat once more, adding absently, "It's a good thing you weren't wearing that coat when you killed Sanari, because the coat Kakashi bought you is so much warmer than that old thing you had."

Without waiting for a reply, Sasuke slips out into the hall, pulling Naruto's door closed behind him. He glances up and down the empty hall, already feeling as if he were being watched. Shaking himself he hurries down to his room and quickly locks himself inside. He draws a deep breath to settle himself, then heads over to the closet and pulls down a bag from the shelf and begins to shove clothes into the bag. Taking his own advice, he only packs a couple of pairs of jeans and a few sweatshirts as well as a few changes of socks and underwear. When he steps out of the closet, his gaze sweeps the room, as if to make sure he wasn't leaving anything important behind and is caught by the sight of the MP3 player laying on the table next to his bed. His eyes begin to fill with tears as he realizes for the first time that he was going to have to leave Kakashi. Walking across the room, he grabs the MP3 player and shoves it into the bag then drops down on the edge of the bed.

Sasuke feels a surge of his earlier guilt that he'd not been there for Naruto because he'd been with Kakashi instead and he uses it to give him a wall of anger to hide behind. Even in his anger, he can't bring himself to just leave Kakashi, because he knew none of this was his fault. He grabs a notebook and pen he'd taken to keeping next to the bed to keep track of subjects he was interested in finding books on. Flipping to a blank page, Sasuke quickly jots a note for Kakashi:

_Kakashi,_

_Thank you for last night. I want you to know that I didn't leave because of you or anything you've done. I was happy here, but I can't be anymore. I have to leave, Naruto needs me. I'll come back soon for the rest of our stuff._

_Love,_

_Sasuke_

Glancing over the simple note, Sasuke nods and turns to set it on his pillow, then stops, considering what he'd written once more. Shaking his head, he picks up his pen again and jots a PS: _I'm sorry. I do love you. -S_

Satisfied with this, Sasuke lays the note on his pillow and gets up, grabbing his cigarettes and starts to walk out of the room. Stopping at the door, he glances down at himself and blushes. Walking back into the room, he tosses his bag onto his bed and walks back into the closet, pulling out clothes. He quickly changes out of his pajamas and into jeans and a sweatshirt with a stylized ninja in dark blue on the front. He sits on the edge of the bed and puts on socks and pulls his shoes on. He takes a moment to breath deeply, trying to settle jangled nerves. When this doesn't work, he shakes a cigarette out of the half empty pack and pops it into his mouth. As he shoves the cigarettes into his pocket with one hand, he picks up his lighter and lights the cigarette with the other. He takes a deep drag on the cigarette as he tucks the lighter away, instantly relaxing as the smoke fills his lungs. Breathing out a long line of smoke, Sasuke sighs and gets up, grabbing his bag again and heading out of the room.

Sasuke pauses outside of Naruto's room for a moment, then steps in, finding his friend sitting in the chair with his own bag at his feet. Sasuke could feel his heart break at the pain and fear on his best friend's face. Walking into the room, Sasuke motions to Naruto. "Come on, let's get out of here before the rest of the house starts stirring around too much. I'd like to get out of here without anyone seeing us."

When they move out into the hall, both boys glance first one direction, then the other, making sure they aren't going to be seen. As they make their way downstairs, Sasuke strains his ears for even the tiniest sound that would alert them that someone else was coming. When they reach the bottom of the stairs, Sasuke automatically turns his head and glances down the hall toward Kakashi's study. Seeing that the door was closed and a thin golden light shone from the crack under the door, Sasuke lets loose a breath he hadn't been aware he'd been holding, glad to know that Kakashi had already locked himself into his study for his morning ritual. Sasuke never knew what he did in there first thing in the morning, and for the first time, he wasn't curious about it, just glad that Kakashi had that ritual. Glancing at Naruto once, Sasuke heads off down the hall, stopping in the entryway to pull his own coat out of the closet and slip into it.

As they step out into the cold morning, Sasuke glances back at Naruto and smiles grimly. "Don't worry Naruto, I'll be with you from now on. We're in this together."

* * *

**AN:** *sits and listens to the stunned silence* Didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I. My muse is sneaky.

I warned you that the shoe that was about to drop was a huge one. Didn't lie did I? Anyway, I just wanted to say that this chapter came out considerably shorter than it was originally going to be because several of the plot points/revelations/comment/whatever have been pushed back for later in the story. I realized that my original intention for the chapter was giving away too much too quickly and it was also speeding the plot along at a pace that didn't work. I have to keep the pacing as even as I can throughout the entire story, so that shortened this chapter.

The next chapter... I don't know. I hope to get it at least started this evening, but I can't say for sure. It's not really solid in my head yet. I know where the story is going, I have it plotted to the end, but it's not solid and ready to be written yet. I'll try to get it in as quickly as I can. I don't want to leave you hanging like this for too long. Thanks for your patience, and thanks for reading my story! :D


	13. Chapter 13

When Kakashi didn't see Sasuke or Naruto at breakfast he didn't think anything about it. Naruto tended to work late hours and not come down for breakfast until well after everyone else had eaten. And since Sasuke had had a late night, Kakashi wasn't at all surprised he didn't come down early. Figuring Sasuke had gone back to his own room to sleep after leaving his, Kakashi told the cook not to worry. He told her only the barest details, wanting to keep Sasuke's difficult night private, figuring that if Sasuke wanted the woman to know, he'd tell her himself. Smiling at the curious looks the older woman was giving him, Kakashi had left the kitchen, heading straight for his study to make some phone calls.

When the knock comes in the early afternoon, Kakashi's first thought is that Sasuke had come to see him, but he realizes quickly that the knock wasn't right. Glancing at his watch, he winces and pushes away from the desk, hurrying across the room, certain that Ms. Mimi had a lecture for him for missing lunch. When he pulls the door open however, it wasn't the heavy set older woman that stood looking at him in some concern. "What is it, Roger?"

"Ms. Mimi sent me to tell you that neither Sasuke nor Naruto have come down for breakfast or lunch. She was worried and asked me to check on the boys, but neither of them answered when I knocked on their doors. We thought maybe you should know. I think they'd be more comfortable with an intrusion from you as you know both boys better than I do."

Kakashi frowns and glances at his watch again, then nods to his butler and steps past him into the hall, pausing to look back over his shoulder with a message for the worried woman in the kitchen. "Tell Ms Mimi that I'll check on them. I'm sure they're fine, they probably just went out for something."

Kakashi heads down the hall, ignoring the nagging fear in the back of his mind that kept trying to remind him that Sasuke never left the house without telling someone where he was going. Taking the stairs two at a time, Kakashi squashes the fear attempting to rise in him, knowing that it was foolish. He stops at Naruto's door first and knocks firmly, waiting patiently for an answer from within. After several minutes when no answer comes to repeated knocks, Kakashi finally opens the door and pokes his head in. When he sees the mess laying around the room, he frowns and pushes the door fully open, stepping into the room. He takes in the clothes tossed on the floor outside of the open closet door and frowns deeper. Moving further into the room, Kakashi steps up to the closet and reaches in, turning the light on. He takes stock of the clothes on the floor outside of the closet and what was still hanging within and figures that only a small amount of Naruto's clothes were missing.

Frowning still, Kakashi steps out of the closet and begins to pick clothes up off the floor, tossing each item onto the end of the bed. He stops, still bent over when he picks up a shirt, revealing another underneath that was rumpled and dirty. Frowning to the point of nearly scowling in his confusion, Kakashi tosses the shirt in his hand to the bed and picks up the dirty shirt from the floor. He gasps and nearly falls when he sees the blood on the shirt. Standing up, he steadies himself then holds the shirt up getting a good look at the blood that had soaked into the front of the shirt. Feeling the color drain from his face and his heart turn to a block of ice in his chest, Kakashi spins around and runs out the door and down the hall to Sasuke's room. Scared now, he doesn't knock before throwing the door open and rushing into the room. Seeing that Sasuke's room wasn't in the disorder Naruto's had been in helps calm Kakashi slightly, but the fact that Sasuke wasn't in the room keeps the fear from leaving him completely.

Glancing around the room, Kakashi spots the notebook laying open on Sasuke's pillow. His heart thudding in his chest, and his breath caught in his throat, Kakashi moves numbly across the room and picks up the notebook. He recognizes Sasuke's handwriting, but can't make sense of what was written there, the fear that was still gripping him seeming to have sapped his ability to read. Closing his eyes, Kakashi starts to ball his right hand into a fist, then stops when he feels something in it. He opens his eyes and glances down, seeing the bloody shirt still clutched in his hand. Trembling slightly, Kakashi drops the shirt to the floor between his feet and closes his eyes again, drawing several slow, deep breaths to settle his nerves. When he opens his eyes again, his heart had slowed and he found his ability to read had returned to him. He glances at the note, reading it slowly several times, then drops it into his lap. Kakashi takes a deep, shaky breath then curses sharply, giving release to some of his fear.

Looking over at the bedside table, Kakashi is shocked to see Sasuke's most prized possession still sitting where it had been since he moved in, the picture of his family, the last taken before his brother had slaughtered them all, leaving Sasuke alive and painfully alone. Next to that picture was a couple of more recent pictures. One was of Sasuke and Naruto in their uniforms after their first jujitsu class. Kakashi smiles at the picture, remembering how easily the two boys had fallen into the training, picking up every little nuance quickly. Closing his eyes, Kakashi could see the two boys laughing and talking just before he'd taken the picture, and he heard Sasuke again asserting that he'd likely been a ninja in a previous life. Opening his eyes again, Kakashi sets the picture aside and picks up the newest picture. It was himself and Sasuke, taken only a few days before. They were in the library talking about a book that Sasuke had recently acquired and was quite excited about. Kakashi had just stood smiling down at the boy when Naruto had snuck up on them, snapping the picture. Sasuke was grinning up at Kakashi, his face lit with joy. It was a rare sight, and Kakashi treasured his own copy of the same picture that he kept in his study.

Kakashi looked up from the picture when he heard a knock on the door frame. He frowns at the change in the angle of the light coming in through the window behind him. Glancing at his watch, Kakashi blinks,rest o surprised to realize that he'd just spent an hour staring at the picture of himself and Sasuke. Feeling a dampness on his cheeks, Kakashi lifts a hand and rubs at his face, realizing then that he'd been crying. Shaking his head, he takes a deep breath and looks up at Roger who was watching him silently from the doorway, a newspaper clutched in his hands. Setting the picture back on the table, Kakashi pushes to his feet and walks across the room to the older man. "Naruto and Sasuke are gone. He left a note and said he'll be back to get their things soon. We can find out then what's going on. Tell Ms Mimi not to worry too much until then. Not that it will do any good to tell her not to worry, she'll do it anyway."

Clearing his throat, Roger holds out the paper to Kakashi. "Sir, I think I have an idea what's happened to the boys. I was glancing through the paper a little while ago and came across an article about a murdered boy. His name sounded familiar to me, but I couldn't remember right away where I'd heard the name before. I read the rest of the article and when I saw who the police were suspecting of this murder, I remembered where I knew the name from. The boy's name was Gaara, he was a friend of Naruto's. Naruto talked about him quite often. He'd recently said something to Ms Mimi about this other boy moving in with him when he got his own place." The older man pauses, showing a flash of distress before smoothing his features back into a pleasant, blank mask. "Sir, the man the police suspect of killing this boy is Sanari. They've been searching for him, but haven't been able to locate him yet."

Feeling as if the floor were tilting under him, Kakashi closed his eyes as several things began to make sense, all the facts clicking into place. When he was sure the room had stopped spinning, Kakashi opens his eyes again and says numbly, "I don't think they're going to find him either." He pauses and glances back over his shoulder at the bloody shirt on the floor, then back at his butler. "At least, not alive."

Ignoring the shocked look from the older man, Kakashi shakes his head and steps past him, pulling Sasuke's door closed behind him. He starts to walk away down the hall, then stops and turns back. Stepping up to the butler, Kakashi takes the newspaper from his slack fingers and turns away. He stops once more at the head of the stairs to call back over his shoulder, "Tell everyone to stay out of Sasuke and Naruto's rooms. I don't want anyone in either room until they come home." Without waiting for a reply, Kakashi turns and heads down the stairs, going straight to his study and locking himself in.

Moving numbly across the room, Kakashi drops into his chair behind the desk and stares sightlessly at the door. After a few moments he glances down at the newspaper in his hands, but can't bring himself to read the article he'd been told about. Instead, he tosses the paper onto the desk and leans back in his chair, rubbing his face briskly. When he drops his hands to the desktop, he feels a spurt of satisfaction when the slight bump rattles things on his desk. Lifting his hands again, he slams his fist down as hard as he can on the desktop, knocking several things over and feeling a deeper satisfaction. He does it once more, but when the picture of himself and Sasuke falls over, the satisfaction dies cold in his chest. Closing his eyes for a moment, he draws a deep breath to calm himself, then opens them and looks over at his MP3 player sitting next to his computer, already plugged into the dock. Reaching out, he flips it on, then leans back in his chair, staring at the picture as he waits for his music to start, hoping to soothe his nerves and distract himself from fear, anger and pain.

When the music begins, he feels relief at first that the song is one he knows well and had always loved, but his relief is short lived as the first lines of the song stab into his heart. Cursing he reaches out and flicks the shuffle button. Cursing again when another love song comes up, followed by yet another when he shuffles again, Kakashi mutters to himself, "I guess that's what I get for being a damn romantic." He gives it one list shuffle, then gives in, deciding to let whatever song comes up next play through to the end. When the opening strains of "If I Die Tomorrow" by Mötley Crüe begins, Kakashi just shakes his head and reaches out for the picture. Slumping back in the chair, he stares down at the picture in his hands, ignoring the way the picture seemed to be shaking and blurring. Halfway through the song, Kakashi sets the picture back on his desk and wipes the tears from his face as he pushes back from the desk and standing up. He begins to pace back and forth, forcing himself to think, trying to decide what he was going to do because he wasn't willing to just sit around feeling sorry for himself and worrying for Sasuke and Naruto.

Stopping in mid-pace, Kakashi stands in the middle of the room, frowning at the closed door, decision made. Striding across the room, Kakashi unlocks the door and yanks it open. Pausing, he curses sharply and walks back to his desk, jerking a drawer open. As he reaches in and pulls out a set of keys, his gaze strays once more on the picture. Staring at Sasuke's happy, shining face, Kakashi murmurs, "I'm going to find you Sasuke, and whether you want my help or not, I'm going to get you and Naruto out of the mess you've gotten yourselves in to." With one last glance around his study, Kakashi heads off for the garage, keys clenched tightly in his fist.

* * *

**AN:** I had a lot of trouble with this chapter. Part of it was that the last chapter didn't go quite the way I had planned with the revisions I made as I wrote, so it threw this chapter off. Originally, more time was supposed to pass in 13, leading up to a decision by Sasuke in 14. But, since 12 didn't go like I planned, 13 didn't want to go the way I had planned either. I fought it for an hour last night, getting almost 2 pages that I wasn't happy with. So, I left it alone and curled up with a good manga. It seems to be the routine with this story, write half, let it sit over night, then write the other half. Unfortunitly, that didnt' seem to be working with this chapter. It was a fight to get going, but once I got going, it flowed easily because I finally realized what I was doing and stopped fighting it. But, when I was done, I had this feeling that I'd left something important out that I just can't shake. Part of my problem was that Kakashi wasn't supposed to find out about Gaara until Sasuke told him while at the same time telling him what Naruto had done. Didn't happen that way. D'oh! So, that might be what's throwing me off so hard now. This affects chapter 14 quite a bit.

As it stands now, I honestly have no idea what happens in the next chapter and that frustrates me. Well, ok, I know how it starts, but what all is going to be said, and what's going to be done... I don't know. So, I'm gonna give myself a few hours to enjoy some DVRed shows, then I'll settle in front of the laptop and see what happens. I can tell you this, if I don't get it at least started tonight, you won't see the next chapter until likely this weekend. My birthday is tomorrow, and getting older sucks for me. lol I'll be distracted. ;)


	14. Chapter 14

Sasuke stood, shoulders hunched, back to the wind. He lifts the cigarette to his lips and takes a deep pull, enjoying the warmth of the smoke filling his lungs. Dropping his hands in front of him once more, he cups his hands around the little warmth offered by the ember on the end of the cigarette. Turning his head just enough to see Naruto, Sasuke frowns at the sight of his best friend standing almost like an empty shell in the blowing snow. Stepping closer to Naruto, Sasuke huddles against him, trying to share body heat in the bitter cold. It had been a little more than a week since he and Naruto had run from Kakashi's home, hiding from the police. In that time, Naruto had grown gradually more and more withdrawn as guilt ate at him until he finally stopped talking altogether. Now Naruto just stood, glaring off into the middle distance, seeing something that Sasuke couldn't even guess at.

Taking another drag off the cigarette, Sasuke lowered his head next to Naruto's ear to be heard over the howling of the wind. "Naruto, we really need to find some place to stay tonight! We can't stay out in a storm like this! What do you say I get us a motel room? You don't have to be seen, you can hide somewhere out of the snow while I get the room!"

When Sasuke gets the reply he expected, nothing, he sighs and takes one last drag off his cigarette, then throws it onto the ground and stomps it out automatically. Reaching out, he grabs Naruto's arm and leads the older boy off in the direction they'd come from not long before, backtracking to the cheap motel he'd seen just before the storm had blown in. When they get to the motel, Sasuke drags Naruto around to the side of the building so that is blocked the wind and made it easier to talk without having to shout. "Naruto, I'm going to go get us a room. You wait here."

"No, we can't."

Sasuke spins back, surprised to hear Naruto speaking for the first time in days. "What? Why the hell not? We can't stay out in this storm or we'll both freeze to death."

"If someone sees me, they'll call the cops."

"How the hell do you know that? How do you even know the cops are looking for you? Come on Naruto, I don't want to freeze to death tonight. Just wait here and I'll go get a room."

Sasuke waits for a few heartbeats and when Naruto doesn't speak again he sighs and turns to walk back around to the front of the building. When he returns several minutes later, Naruto is still standing exactly as he'd left him, staring off into his own thoughts. Shaking his head, Sasuke grabs Naruto's arm again and leads him around the front of the building, careful to keep to the shadows to make it easier on Naruto. As they moved along the front of the building, Sasuke had to duck his head against the blowing wind, glancing up just far enough to get a quick look at the room numbers, the snow blasting him in the face each time. Stumbling to a stop in front of the correct door, Sasuke fumbles with the key, cursing his numb fingers. When he finally gets the door opened, he pushes Naruto gently inside, following right behind him. Pushing the door closed, Sasuke leans back against it and slides slowly to sit on the floor, leaning back against the door. As the heat slowly began to work it's way through the numbing cold that was gripping his entire body, Sasuke winced at the pins and needles seeming to jab every inch of his body, letting him know just how cold he'd gotten.

When the tingles begin to fade, Sasuke pushes himself back to his feet and reaches back to flip the light switch next to the door. Letting his eyes adjust to the dim light, Sasuke leans against the door, kicking at his bag by his feet. When he turns around, he finds Naruto's bag laying next to the bed, and Naruto was curled up under the blankets in the center of the bed. Slipping out of his coat, Sasuke moves across the room and gathers up Naruto's discarded coat and clothes, setting them all in the chair sitting in the corner of the room near the window. Moving back to the bed, Sasuke sits down on the edge of it, looking down at Naruto. He sighs at the exhaustion on his friend's face, then stretches out next to him on the bed.

Sasuke snaps awake, sitting up in the bed with a gasp. He glances around the strange room, fear clawing at his throat for a moment. When he feels Naruto shift next to him, he looks down at his best friend and breathes out a slow sigh, relaxing as he remembers what was going on. Swinging he legs over the edge of the bed, he slumps over and rubs at his face, brushing away the last strains of fear from the nightmare. Sitting in the dim light of the shabby little motel room, Sasuke feels a flare of regret for the first time since he'd stepped out of Kakashi's home. In that instant he'd have given almost anything to be back home with Kakashi, held in his arms as peaceful dreams lulled him through the night. Looking back at Naruto, Sasuke shakes his head, shoving the regret into the locked compartment of his heart where he'd hidden away his feelings for Kakashi.

As if the unexpected feelings brought about by the nightmare were a reminder, Sasuke pushes to his feet and starts to pace the room as he begins the internal debate once again about when the best time would be to go back to Kakashi's to gather up their things. After a few moments it occurs to him that with Naruto curled up in the bed, warm in a motel room, Sasuke didn't have to worry about him while he was gone, and it was the middle of the night, so he thought he could easily sneak into Kakashi's house, gather up their things and sneak back out without having to worry about talking to Kakashi. He felt like a coward, and he hated himself for it, but he couldn't bring himself to face Kakashi after what he'd done. He didn't doubt that Kakashi would be supportive, but he was afraid of being drawn back in so completely that his feelings for Kakashi became all-encompassing again, leaving Naruto alone, having to fend for himself when he needed help the most.

Shaking himself, Sasuke walks over to the chair and picks up his coat. He stands beside the bed, debating on waking Naruto to let him know where he was going, then decides against it. Naruto hadn't been sleeping any better than Sasuke on the cold streets, and Sasuke wasn't about to deny him this chance at some much needed sleep. Picking up Naruto's coat, Sasuke searches the pockets until he finds the keyring that held Naruto's key to Kakashi's house. He glances around for anything he could write with and on to leave Naruto a note, but gives up on it quickly, muttering about how cheap the motel was. Shaking his head, Sasuke pulls on his coat and gives Naruto one last glance before slipping out into the cold. He debates for a moment spending some of the little money he had on him to catch a taxi, but quickly decides against it, knowing it was better to save the money, and not wanting to risk waking anyone when the taxi pulls up in front of the house.

It takes several hours for Sasuke to finally reach Kakashi's home, and he's half frozen when he gets there. The trouble he has with Naruto's key makes the trouble he'd had at the motel look nonexistent. After several tries and much soft cursing, Sasuke manages to get the door unlocked and opened. Slipping inside, he takes a deep breath and allows himself several minutes to defrost before he even thinks about moving. Closing his eyes, Sasuke concentrates on breathing deeply and evenly as the pins and needles assail every inch of his body once more, though this time the pain is much more intense. When the pain finally passes, Sasuke steps away from the door, and moves into the dark house, feeling his heart sinking as he realizes just how much he missed Kakashi's home, and how much he'd grown to think of it affectionately as his own home. Moving silently through the house, Sasuke climbs the stairs, taking them two at a time, careful to avoid the one in the middle that he knew had a loud creak to it. He glances down the hall when he reaches the top of the stairs, and seeing no lights in either direction, he slips off, heading to his room.

Pushing the door open, Sasuke steps into the dark room, not turning the light on so he doesn't give his presence away if someone should happen to wake up and walk down the hall. Pushing the door closed behind him, careful not to make any noise, Sasuke moves across the room and opens the closet. He reaches in and flips the switch the turn the light on, and just before he steps into the closet, someone from behind him speaks quietly. "You're not even going to say 'hello'?"

Sasuke jumps back, uttering a choked, startled scream as he spins around to face the room. He finds Kakashi sitting in the chair nearby and Sasuke's heart stops. Unable to move or speak, and scarcely able to breathe, Sasuke watches Kakashi reach up and click the switch on the reading lamp beside the chair. What little light that had reached Kakashi from the closet was pushed back by the warm glow of the reading lamp. Sasuke gasps sharply, his heart sinking at the sight of Kakashi slouched in the chair watching him. The older man looked nearly dead. His face was pale and haggard, the only color the black rings around his eyes. Sasuke could tell the man was exhausted and it broke his heart and made him feel guilty. Remembering that Naruto looked much the same way, Sasuke is able to push the pain and guilt away, hiding behind anger.

"What the hell are you doing in here, beside trying to scare me half to death?"

"Scare you? You mean the way you and Naruto scared me by taking off the way you did?" Sasuke can't stop himself from wincing at the biting words. He starts to say something, but Kakashi continues. "I'm waiting for you to come back actually. I haven't really slept since you left. An hour here and there, but always right here in this chair. I knew you'd try to sneak in here in the middle of the night so you wouldn't have to answer any questions. But you know what?" Kakashi pushes himself up from the chair, and with surprising speed, he closes the small gap between them, taking Sasuke's arms in a tight grip. "You know what, Sasuke? I'm not giving you a choice! I want some answers. If you love me like you said, I think I deserve at least that!"

Sasuke's defensiveness flares, anger making him glare at Kakashi, but it fades as quickly as it had come because he knows that older man is right. Sighing, his shoulders slumping, Sasuke relaxes and nods. "You're right. I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apology Sasuke, I want answers."

Sasuke nods and carefully extracts his arms from Kakashi's grip, finding himself more distracted by the older man's touch than he wanted to admit. He backs into the closet and turns the light off, then steps out and closes the door so he can lean back against it. "What answers do you want first?"

Kakashi moves back to the chair and bends over, picking something up that Sasuke couldn't see. When he turns back around, holding up Naruto's bloody shirt, Sasuke gasps and stiffens. "You can start by telling me what Naruto has done, though I'm pretty sure I already know."

The sight of the shirt and the mention of Naruto are enough for Sasuke to snap himself out of the daze he hadn't realized he'd been in. Shaking his head, he pushes away from the closet door, standing in the middle of the room, halfway between Kakashi and the door. "I don't have time to tell it all to you. I promise I'll tell you as soon as I can, but I've got to get back to Naruto. If he wakes up and I'm gone he's going to lose it." Sasuke pauses, remembering the way Naruto had been for the past several days and frowns, shaking his head again. "Although I can't see how he can get any farther into madness than he seems to already be."

Shaking himself, Sasuke pushes aside his own dark thoughts and matches Kakashi's glare with one of his own. "I wasn't there for Naruto when he needed me most, I was with _you_." He spit the last word out like a curse, trying to reignite his anger to make what he had to do easier. When Kakashi's glare softens and pain begins to edge his features, Sasuke hardens his resolve and continues. "I'm not doing that to him again. Naruto isn't quite himself right now, and he needs me. I'm not going to have him wake up and find me gone, only to later find out that I was with you again."

"That's cold Sasuke. Naruto is a big boy, he can take care of himself, but I on the other hand, thought you were starting to love me. So, Naruto screws up, so that means that I get kicked aside? Am I supposed to just wait until you fix Naruto's life, then you'll come back to me? How long am I expected to wait? And what if Naruto screws up again? Does that mean we have to put our life together on hold again so that you can run off to rescue him again?"

Sasuke tries to ignore the pain and the guilt that flares through him, giving Kakashi a weak glare. "That's not fair! Naruto is my best friend!"

"Fair?" Kakashi asks incredulously. "Are you seriously talking to me about what's fair? Was it fair for you and Naruto to run off, leaving everyone here to worry about you? We didn't know where you were or what you were doing. You could have been dead for all we knew! Never mind how much I love you. Never mind that we were getting close. Think about Ms Mimi and everyone else here. How do you think they felt when you vanished with no word?" Kakashi holds up the bloody shirt like an accusation. "I've kept this hidden from them. The only one that had even a slight clue as to what might be going on is Roger, and he's promised not to say anything to the rest of the staff. We're a family here, Sasuke, and you and Naruto are part of that family now. Leaving like that didn't just hurt me, it hurt the entire family."

Sasuke felt a crushing guilt settle over him, but still he wasn't willing to let go of his duty to his best friend. "Naruto told me that he was afraid you were going to take his place. That's why he was always so angry when we first moved in. I felt so guilty about that, and I promised him that no matter how close you and I got, that he would always be my best friend, and I would always be there for him. Then, I broke that promise. When he needed me most, I wasn't there. So, I'm atoning for that now. I'm going to be there for him now and help him through this. I have to go Kakashi, I'm sorry."

Turning to the door, Sasuke takes only a few steps before Kakashi speaks again, stopping him dead in his tracks. "I love you, Sasuke. Please don't leave me."

It wasn't just the words that stopped him, it was the emotion behind the words. Letting his head hang, Sasuke screams in his head as a battle of emotion begins within his heart. Finally, shaking with the rapid tumble of emotion, he turns back to look at Kakashi, surprised to see resignation and anger lining his face rather than the pain and desperation to match the tone of his voice when he last spoke. Sasuke feels his own desperation beginning to build. In that moment he wanted nothing more than to run to Kakashi. To be sheltered in his arms. To let the older man take this burden that he was finally beginning to see he wasn't able to handle on his own. Taking a deep, shaking breath, Sasuke manages, "Naruto... he's alone." before Kakashi jumps up from the chair and closes the distance between them, wrapping Sasuke in his arms.

"Tell me where he is. I'll send Charles to get him."

Sasuke collapses against Kakashi, feeling an overwhelming urge to sob, but fighting it back down. Wrapping his arms around the older man, he buries his face against his chest and allows himself a few moments to accept and enjoy the comfort before stepping back and looking up at Kakashi. "Naruto doesn't want to come back here. He thinks the police will find him here."

"No one has come here looking for either of you."

Sasuke feels a brief spurt of hope, but quickly crushes it, unwilling to open himself up for the chance of that kind of defeat. "I don't want to bring him back here until he says he's ready to come back. Besides, this is the first time since we left here that he's actually gotten any sleep."

Kakashi sighs in frustration and runs a hand through his messy silver hair, glancing around the room helplessly. "Fine, then I'll send Roger to sit with him. If he wakes up, he'll recognize him, and Roger can tell Naruto that you're here and you're well and that you'll be back with him soon."

Sasuke considers this idea, unable to shake the feeling that he was betraying his friend somehow, but in the end, he couldn't help giving in. "Ok. Ok, yeah, I guess that would be ok."

Kakashi nods and steps around Sasuke, going for the bedroom door as he speaks. "Tell me where he is, and I'll go get Roger up and call a taxi for him."

Sasuke watches Kakashi move across the room, seeing the determination in him. Sasuke felt a warm tide of relief wash over him now that someone else was taking charge. Someone that could clearly handle all of this better than he could. "The Carriage Motel."

Kakashi glances back at Sasuke as he pulls the door open. "That rat hole? What the hell are you doing there?" After a brief pause, Kakashi holds out a hand and says simply, "Key."

Sasuke shrugs and moves over to sit on the edge of his old bed, and tosses the room key to Kakashi. "It was the closest place. We needed to get out of the storm before we froze to death. It's damn near a blizzard out there. Besides, we didn't want to draw attention to ourselves, so we certainly weren't going to go to the Holiday Inn."

Kakashi just shakes his head and steps out into the hall, pulling the door closed behind him. Sasuke sits staring at the closed door for several moments, then drops his head. He pulls out a cigarette and sticks it between his lips as he fumbles his lighter from his pocket. When he finally manages to get the cigarette lit, he drops the lighter to the bed next to him and stares at his shaking hands. Closing his eyes, he clenches his hands into fists and takes a deep pull off the cigarette. When he opens his eyes again, he's gotten his emotions under control enough that his hands have stopped shaking. When he reaches for the ashtray on the table by his bed, his gaze strays over the pictures sitting there. Sliding closer to the head of the bed, Sasuke picks up the ashtray with one hand, setting it on the bed next to him, and picks up the picture of himself and Kakashi with the other. He sits staring down at the picture, feeling his heart trying to break and mend itself at the same time for everything he felt he'd lost, and everything he felt he was gaining as he waited for Kakashi to come back to him.

* * *

**AN: **I started this chapter last night. I wrote for about 45 minutes and was about 2 pages in and stopped. I ran up on a problem. 2 pages in and I knew I wasn't even close to being finished. This chapter was going to be massive. I didn't want it to be that long. (We're talking a good 6 to 8 pages.) So, I decided since it was 1 in the morning, and officially my birthday, I had earned the right to go to bed with work unfinished. ;) As usual, I woke up this morning knowing how to fix the problem. All the infromation that was due to come out in this chapter will come out in the next chapter. I have effectively cut one chapter in two parts. As I considered it, I knew it was better to do the questioning (Kakashi seeking his answers) from Kakashi's POV anyway. That decided, I quickly managed to get the rest of the chapter finished. It didn't go at all like I'd have expected. I expected many things of this reunion, but Kakashi's anger wasn't one of them. So, I left it alone to sit in my mind. I went to the bookstore and bought myself some manga, then went to a movie I've been wanting to see for ages. (That's my birthday celebration. lol) As I was driving home, I thought about this chapter and I realized that Kakashi's anger wasn't so unexpected if I'd just thought about it for a moment. Honestly, how else could he react to what Sasuke and Naruto had done? So, when I got home I sat down for the reread edit, and after fixing a few minor issues, all my earlier doubts about the chapter flew out the window. This is now, officially, my favorite chapter. The emotion is easy to see, I think, and I can see the story now building to the climax and I'm happy with it.


	15. Chapter 15

Kakashi stood outside of Sasuke's closed bedroom door, torn between two equally strong desires. Part of him wanted to rush into the room and gather Sasuke in his arms and hold the boy tightly for the rest of his life, never letting him from his sight again. Another part of him wanted to rush into the room and grab Sasuke and shake him. Shake him until he came to his senses, shake him until he understood the worry and fear he'd caused everyone, shake him until he understood the fear and pain he'd caused Kakashi. Head hanging forward, Kakashi curls his hands into fists at his sides and closes his eyes, drawing a deep breath as the battle rages inside of him. When he thinks he's gotten the battle under control, Kakashi lifts his head and squares his shoulders, drawing a deep breath to settle himself before reaching out and opening the door.

When Kakashi steps into the room, he stops, hand still on the doorknob, staring across the room at Sasuke. The boy sat on the edge of his bed, head hanging down so that his hair hid his face from view. His shoulders were slumped and Kakashi could clearly see, even without seeing the boy's face, just how exhausted the boy was. In his hands Sasuke held a picture that Kakashi could identify and knew painfully well even without actually being able to see it. Feeling his heart clench with pain, the battle resumes within him once again. Kakashi grits his teeth and forces himself to close the door and move across the room the chair he'd been sitting in earlier. He picks it up and carries it back across the room, setting it beside the bed and dropping down to sit, facing Sasuke.

Sasuke finally looks up at Kakashi, just a quick glance, then looks back down at the picture. "You know, right now I'm so torn between two desires, I feel like I'm going to be ripped in half. Half of me wants to go back to the way things were, and just stay here with you forever, forgetting all of this shit ever happened. The other half of me wants to get up and run as fast as I can, back to Naruto, and away from this life."

Kakashi feels some of his anger melt away as he listens to Sasuke, remembering for the first time just how young Sasuke still was, and how stunted he was emotionally after such a horrible young life. He knew that he couldn't go easy on Sasuke, because if he tiptoed carefully around the boy now, he'd never be able to heal completely. Neither of them would. "So, you always run from what scares you?"

Sasuke's head jerks up so quickly, Kakashi is surprised the boy doesn't have whiplash. He answers the rage on Sasuke face with a bland look of his own. "Who in the hell said I was scared of anything?"

"You did. You want to run from me, from the life you have here. You don't run from something you enjoy or want. You run from what you fear."

Clearly agitated now, Sasuke leans over and puts the picture back on the bedside table. Sitting back, he picks up his cigarettes and shakes one out and sticks it in his mouth, shooting quick glares at Kakashi from time to time as he moves. When the cigarette is lit, Kakashi watches Sasuke relax, his anger sliding away with each exhalation of smoke. Leaning back in the chair, Kakashi props his elbows on the arms of the chair, then laces his fingers together over his stomach, sliding down in the chair slightly, slouching. He lets Sasuke enjoy half of his cigarette before he speaks again, giving the boy plenty of time to calm down. "Sasuke, look at me."

When Sasuke lifts his head, Kakashi has to fight not to flinch at just how lost the boy looked. He'd decided he was going to move forcefully through the situation, bullying answers from Sasuke if he needed to, but in that instant he felt shame for ever having thought of doing anything so cruel to the boy. He knew he couldn't go easy on Sasuke or they would never resolve what was hanging between them, but he also knew that he couldn't move recklessly or he'd damage Sasuke's already fragile psyche beyond repair. "Without thinking about it first, tell me what you want right this moment."

"I want to be held by you again. I want everything to just go away, even if it's only for a few minutes."

Kakashi twitches, starting to lean forward and gather Sasuke in his arms, but stops himself at the last second. "You can't have that Sasuke." As confused pain flashes across Sasuke's face, Kakashi shakes his head and holds up a hand. "I don't mean it like that. I love you Sasuke, and I always will. What I mean is that if I let you hide now, even if it's only for a few minutes, I'll never get you to this point again where you're ready to be fully honest with me and let everything out."

"You love me." It wasn't a question, and Kakashi could hear the doubt. He wasn't surprised.

"Yes, I do. Probably more than you love yourself right now." When Sasuke winces, Kakashi sighs mentally, finally understanding what was at the root of all of Sasuke's issues. "You do know it's not your fault what happened to your family, right?"

Sasuke ducks his head again and crushes out the cigarette that had smoldered down to nothing. Hands shaking, he picks up the pack of cigarettes and pulls another one out, quickly lighting it before replying. "I know it's not. I didn't kill everyone, Itachi did."

"That's right," Kakashi says quietly, carefully. "He slaughtered your entire family... and left you alive and alone."

When the first tear rolls down Sasuke's cheek, Kakashi takes a deep breath and plunges ahead, hoping he's chosen the right path. "How many times have you tried to join your family?"

Sasuke's head jerks up then, giving Kakashi the full force of his pain, anger and fear. "H-how did you..."

Kakashi shakes his head. "I don't know exactly how you feel, because I've always had the staff here as my family. I never knew my mother, but I remember my father clearly. I also remember his death. I contemplated my own death more than once, but I was never really alone. I had Ms Mimi and the others. Ms Mimi was always like a mother to me. I had the support that you so desperately wanted, but didn't have. Itachi is still alive, but his mind is gone. It's the same as being alone."

Sasuke's head lowers slowly, hiding the play of emotion behind his hair. When he speaks, Kakashi almost has to lean closer to hear the whisper. "I loved Itachi best. I wanted to be just like him when I grew up. I thought we were so alike, but... if he could do something like that and I didn't know, what else in my life is a lie?"

Kakashi frowns and shakes his head. "You and Itachi are different people, Sasuke. You always have been. You idolized your older brother, that's natural. But, being so young and starry-eyed around the man you idolized, you were never able to see the truth. That doesn't mean that everything was a lie."

"Why didn't he kill me with the rest of them?"

Kakashi is caught off guard by the subject changing back to where they'd started. It takes him a few moments to calm his tumbling thoughts and reply. "Why did he kill everyone else? Does it matter? He did what he did, and none of that is your fault, or has anything to do with you."

Sasuke lifts his head slowly, staring at Kakashi as he takes a deep pull from his cigarette, inhaling the smoke and holding it for several long moments before letting it out in a long sigh. "I feel like I betrayed my family by not dying with them. And I feel like I betrayed Itachi by replacing him."

"With Naruto, you mean?"

Sasuke nods and lowers his head again, staring at the cigarette burning in his hand, but Kakashi wasn't sure he was actually seeing it. "Naruto was the first person that was kind to me when I hit the streets. He showed me the ropes, helped me learn my new life. We were almost inseparable. He was the big brother I thought I'd had in Itachi. With Itachi is was a lie, I told myself. With Naruto it was true."

"You blamed yourself for not seeing the truth about Itachi. You think that if you had you could have saved your family." When Sasuke nods, Kakashi shakes his head. "You know that's not true. What could you have done? You were barely six years old. What could you have changed? How could you have stopped Itachi?"

Sasuke just sits staring at the cigarette burning his his hand. After several minutes, he lifts it to his lips and takes one last pull before crushing it out in the ashtray next to him. When he reaches for another, Kakashi leans forward and places a hand over Sasuke's stopping him. "I'm not going to let you keep trying to kill yourself slowly like this Sasuke. You need to find another vice, another way to deal with everything you've kept bottled up all these years."

Sasuke frowns, and Kakashi watches, hopeful that Sasuke was coming back to himself. Kakashi figured that if Sasuke could muster his anger, then he could stay out of the black pit he seemed to be sinking into. When the frown fades away, Kakashi sighs and squeezes Sasuke's hand and sits back in the chair again. "Answer my question, Sasuke. What could you have done to stop Itachi?"

Sasuke explodes, jumping up from the bed, his face twisted in pain and rage. "Not a damned thing! I was a helpless little kid! I was useless to my family! And I wasn't even important enough to the brother I loved so much for him to notice me and send me to be with the rest of our family, so I wouldn't be alone forever!"

Kakashi pushes to his feet and pulls Sasuke into his arms in one fluid movement. He doesn't let go even when he feels Sasuke stiffen in his arms. After a few heartbeats, Kakashi feels Sasuke gradually begin to relax. Waiting patiently, Kakashi remains silent until at last Sasuke's arms slide around him and he grips him tightly as the first sob rips itself from his throat. Gathering Sasuke in his arms, Kakashi moves back to the chair and sits down, cradling Sasuke in his lap and just holding him as he finally lets out the years of pain and anger that had poisoned him. When Sasuke slowly quiets, Kakashi lowers his head and presses and kiss to Sasuke's forehead, but still he remains silent, waiting.

"Now I've betrayed Naruto."

Not surprised by this comment, Kakashi only shakes his head and sighs. "No you haven't, Sasuke. I know you've been alone for a long time, but there is plenty of room in your life for everyone here, and Naruto if that's what you want. You can have all of us, you don't have to choose. I won't be more important to you than Naruto, and Naruto won't be more important to you than I am. We're both important to you for different reasons."

"I wasn't there for him when he needed me though."

Kakashi sighs and tightens his arms around Sasuke. "Think about that. If you hadn't had that nightmare and come to my room, if you'd spent the night in your room instead, would it have changed what had happened?"

Sasuke is quiet for several minutes and Kakashi sits silent and patient, waiting for the boy to work through it in his head. When Sasuke squirms and starts to pull away from him, Kakashi lets him, though he feels a pang of regret at the loss of Sasuke's warmth and weight in his arms. When Sasuke sits back on the edge of the bed once more, Kakashi clasps his hands over his stomach again. "From what Naruto told me, it had happened before he came home. He never told me about Gaara." Sasuke pauses and frowns, still trying to work through something.

"Tell me what happened. Start at the beginning, it will make things easier and you can sort everything out in your head," Kakashi suggests quietly.

Sasuke nods and draws a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment before he starts. "I came out of your room that morning to find Naruto in the hall, glaring at me. He'd just gotten in, though I didn't know it at the time. He accused me of having had sex with you, though he didn't put it quite that nicely. We fought and I put him back in his place, but he was still angry and stormed off to his room. I followed him of course. I forced my way into his room and slammed the door behind me. I'm surprised I didn't wake the whole house up when I did that, but I was so mad at the way Naruto was acting, I didn't care about anything else. I couldn't understand why he was jealous and why he was being so nasty to me again suddenly. I thought he and I had worked things out before. Finally, I managed to get the story out of him, but it wasn't easy, and I was having trouble making sense of it at first."

Sasuke takes another deep breath and reaches out for his cigarettes, his hand hovering there for a moment, then moving back to clasp the other in his lap. Kakashi starts to relent, wanting to tell Sasuke to light up another cigarette if it would settle his nerves and make it easier to tell the story, but he doesn't. Shaking himself, as if to throw off the need for the cigarette, Sasuke sits up straighter and continues the story, though his eyes remain locked on his hands in his lap. "He showed me that the shirt he was wearing was bloody. I almost lost it then. I mean, he'd told me he'd killed Sanari but I couldn't understand it at first. That one sight cleared it up and I understood that Sanari was dead. He said that he'd run into Gaara a few weeks before when he got off work one night. He said that Gaara had told him he'd been having troubles with his father again." Sasuke pauses, then clarifies before Kakashi has a chance to ask. "Gaara's mother died in birth and his father always blamed him. He's been abusive to Gaara since he was born. Usually not physically, just emotionally and verbally. Gaara finally had enough and ran away about four years ago. He's been on the streets trying to hide from his father ever since. I don't know what it is about Gaara that Naruto saw, but those two seemed like kindred spirits from the beginning. Naruto was always the first to help hide Gaara when his father would come around looking for him. So, when he ran into Gaara and found out his father was after him, causing trouble again, I guess Naruto just felt guilty for not being there for him that time. He told Gaara where we were living and said he could come stay with us for a while if things got too bad. He didn't figure you'd mind and he said he was about to start looking for his own place anyway, and he was going to have Gaara move in with him."

Sasuke stops again, this pause lasting much longer than the first, but Kakashi waits silently, letting Sasuke take all the time he needed. Lifting his hands, Sasuke rubs his face, then covers his eyes with his hands, holding them there as if he could block out the mental images of the rest of the story as he begins talking again. "Naruto didn't see Gaara anymore after that, and he started to worry, so he went back to the area we all used to hang out and was told that Gaara had been killed. Sanari had found out somehow that Gaara knew where we were and went after him for the information." Sasuke pauses and looks up when Kakashi moves. Kakashi could feel the tight lines of anger on his face, but he couldn't smooth them away. Sasuke was still staring at that anger on Kakashi's face when he resumes the story, a little quieter now, horror slowly dawning on his face. "They said that Sanari beat Gaara so bad trying to get him to talk that everyone thought Gaara was dead. Sanari picked him up and carried him off somewhere, no one knew where. Gaara wasn't dead though. Some businessman found him him a few days later dumped in an alley next to an office building. Gaara hadn't died from the beating. Sanari had broken his arms and legs and left him to freeze to death over the weekend in that alley."

Kakashi gasps in shock and horror, feeling a surge of regret that he'd let Sanari go when he could have had him in jail after he'd attacked Sasuke the second time. "I'm so sorry, Sasuke," Kakashi whispers.

Sasuke continues the story as if he hadn't heard Kakashi speak. His eyes were unfocused and his voice was soft, making him sound dazed. "That was the weekend before our date. Naruto had never mentioned to me that he'd seen Gaara, or that he'd not seen him again since that visit. He'd kept his worries to himself. The night we went on our date, Naruto ditched work and went to try to find Gaara. He got some of the story from guys we knew on the streets, but a lot of the story he got from Sanari's fucking followers. Those bastards were bragging about what Sanari had done to Gaara!" Sasuke pauses and shudders. "Naruto says he was so pissed he just lost it at that point. He said everything just went red and when he came to himself again he was kneeling over Sanari with a bloody knife in his hand and Sanari was dead. He ditched the knife in a nearby dumpster and ran. He came back here automatically, but he found us in the library talking after our date, and he didn't want to interrupt us, so he ran again. Eventually he cleared his mind enough to decide to come back here and pack his stuff to run off and hide from the cops. That's when he found me coming out of your room."

Kakashi sits in the chair stunned, letting the horror of the entire situation sink in. Slowly, he pulls himself out of the horror and thinks. He glances at Sasuke who was still sitting dazed on the edge of the bed. "That's why you boys ran? To hide Naruto from the police?"

Sasuke nods and turns his gaze up to Kakashi's face, and Kakashi is relieved to see Sasuke slowly beginning to come back out of the story himself. "I can't let Naruto go to jail. I can't let him be put to death. He needs me to protect him."

Kakashi sighs and shakes his head. "No, he doesn't. Naruto is plenty strong enough to take care of himself, but I'm not going to argue with you about that right now, we have more important things to discuss. Does Naruto remember killing Sanari?" When Sasuke just shakes his head, Kakashi continues. "What about the knife, where'd he get it?"

"He doesn't remember anything. One minute he was back in the area we used to frequent, the next he was covered in blood and looking down at a dead and bloody Sanari. I guess he got the knife on his way to where Sanari was."

"How did he know where to find Sanari?"

Sasuke frowns at this one, then shakes his head. "I never thought to ask, but I guess he just went to Sanari's usual haunts until he found him."

Kakashi takes a deep breath and sits forward. He reaches out and takes Sasuke's hands in his. "Since you've been gone, I've been following the news about Sanari's death, and through some of my contacts, I got information that wasn't released to the press. The police found the knife, but they couldn't identify the fingerprints on it because whoever they belong to doesn't have a police record. Sanari's little cronies and some of the other boys told the police about Naruto looking for Sanari the day he died and about how angry he was, and the police are looking for him. They want to question him, but as of right now, he's not really a suspect." Tightening his grip on Sasuke's hands, Kakashi leans a little closer and imparts the last bit of knowledge he had held back. "There was someone else looking for Sanari that day as well. No one knew who he was, but they were able to give a description to the police, and they want to question him too."

Sasuke gasps, staring at Kakashi in shock. As he watches, hope slides into Sasuke's eyes, then is quickly crushed. Kakashi shakes his head and squeezes Sasuke's hands again. "You're allowed to have hope. There's a chance that Naruto didn't do this. It would seem to me that if this other man hadn't killed Sanari he'd have come forward by now."

Anything else Kakashi might have been about to say is cut off by the sudden ringing of his cell phone, making Sasuke jump. Kakashi smiles at him apologetically, then flips the phone open. "Is he awake?" He listens for a moment, then nods and says, "Give him the phone," then clicks a button and hands his phone to Sasuke.

Sasuke looks at Kakashi in confusion for a moment, then says tentatively, "Hello?"

"Sasuke! Where are you? What's going on?"

Sasuke glances up at Kakashi, realizing the older man had turned on the speaker phone so he could hear both side of the conversation. "Naruto! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to be gone this long. I came back to get our things and Kakashi was waiting for me. I've been talking to him, telling him what happened. I'd have left you a note, but I didn't have anything to leave a note with. That's why Kakashi sent Roger to sit with you in case you woke up."

"Why did you tell him?"

"Because he can help us, damnit!" At Kakashi's nod, Sasuke draws a deep breath and closes his eyes for a moment. "Naruto, there's a chance you didn't do it. The police want to talk to you, but there was some other guy that was looking for Sanari that day too, and the police want to question him too. You can't remember what happened, so maybe you didn't do it."

"I can't remember what happened, so maybe I did do it."

Sasuke sighs and closes his eyes. "Naruto, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do!"

"Then trust me now. Let Kakashi help us."

Naruto remains quiet for so long that Sasuke begins to worry that he was drawing back into himself again. When he finally replies, Sasuke slumps and lets out a deep sigh of relief. "Ok, Sasuke."

Before he can speak again, Kakashi holds up a hand and says loud enough for Naruto to hear, "Hold on. I'm going to have Roger bring you back here. You two can talk then. Please give Roger back the phone so I can talk to him."

"O-ok, Kakashi."

Kakashi takes the phone from Sasuke and presses the button to turn the speaker phone feature off then holds it up to his ear. "I want you to call a taxi, and as soon as it arrives, you check the boys out of that room and bring Naruto back here." He listens for a moment, then nods. "Ok, thank you."

Hanging up the phone, Kakashi sticks it back in his pocket, then looks at Sasuke. "It's probably going to take a while for them to get back here because of the storm. In the mean time, I think you should lay down and get some sleep. I'll wake you when they arrive."

Sasuke nods, then bites at his bottom lip, staring at his hands clasped in his lap once more. "Um, Kakashi?"

"Yes?"

"Would it be alright if I slept in your room instead of here? I'd feel more comfortable."

Smiling, Kakashi stands up and walks over to Sasuke and scoops him up off the bed. He kisses Sasuke lightly on the forehead, feeling dizzy with relief and joy as he turns and walks to the door. "Of course you can. I'm not going to let you out of my sight ever again."

* * *

**AN:** I had issues when I tried to start this chapter this morning. So, I listened to my current muse (music that inspires me to write this story) and surfed all the websites I go to daily. Then, when I finally sat down to write, I still couldn't. After staring at the blinking cursor for several minutes, I finally started writing, slowly. I got through the first paragraph and saved. After that, the story started flowing better. To make a long story short, my word processor screwed up and I lost everything I wrote. I was PISSED! So, I went a wrore a journal about it on DA and YG to give myself time to calm down. When I went back to it, my anger had shaped the story in an unexpected way. I got what I'd written rewritten for the most part. It's not nearly the same as it was because I can't remember exactly what I'd written, but I know I was more satisfied with the original. But, whatever, I was just glad to be writing. Then when the questioning was supposed to start, Kakashi changed directions on me and started talking to Sasuke about his past! I didn't see that one coming! But, as I was writing it, I knew that is was not only necessary, this was the spot to do it in. When I finished that part, I was curious and checked the page count. I was at about 3 pages, and knew I wasn't even close to being done. XD So, my plan for cutting chapter 14 in half to make two long chapters rather than one ridiculously long chapter failed. In the end, this chapter came out 5 pages and 3 lines into page 6. XD But, this was what needed to happen here, and I knew I couldn't push it to another chapter. Now I'm going to take some time off and watch some anime to recharge my batteries. Hopefully I'll get 16 started tonight. ;)

And for those of you that might be curious, I'm working past getting old by distracting myself with this story! ;) You don't have to worry about me moping about being old rather than writing. lol Besides, this story really wants to be written right now.


	16. Chapter 16

Sasuke drifts out of a dreamless sleep, still exhausted and wondering what woke him up. Blinking his eyes open to a dark room, Sasuke pulls the blanket up tighter around himself. Hearing a soft noise from behind him, Sasuke rolls over and sees the silhouette of two men standing in the doorway. After a few moments, Sasuke can hear Kakashi speaking quietly, but he's too tired to try to make his mind understand what he's hearing. Instead he closes his eyes and drifts back to the edge of sleep. Just before he slipped over that edge again, he feels the bed move. He opens his eyes to slits and sees that the door was now closed just before he feels Kakashi slip up behind him, pulling Sasuke back into his arms once more. Sasuke snuggles back against his warmth and closes his eyes again, letting sleep claim him again at last.

When Sasuke swims back to the surface of consciousness again, he's much more rested, but still immensely tired. He opens his eyes slowly and blinks, surprised to find the room still dark. He moves only his eyes, looking around the dark room, trying to remember if there was a clock anywhere in Kakashi's room. He decides after a few moments that the clock must be on the other side of the bed, but feeling Kakashi still snuggled against his back, Sasuke doesn't move, not wanting to wake the older man. Closing his eyes again, he can see the way Kakashi had looked the night before, so drawn and almost lifeless from lack of sleep and worry. Squeezing his eyes more tightly closed as guilt spikes through him, Sasuke decides that even if he couldn't sleep anymore, he wasn't going to deny Kakashi his chance at much needed rest.

Sasuke relaxes himself in Kakashi's arms again and is just about to try to fall back to sleep, when Kakashi speaks softly from behind him. "I'm awake, Sasuke."

Blinking, Sasuke turns his head to look back over his shoulder, finding Kakashi peering at him in the dark, a look Sasuke can't read on his face. "How did you know I was awake? I was so careful not to move, I didn't want to wake you up."

Kakashi smiles, chasing that strange look away and making a tightness he hadn't noticed loosen in Sasuke's chest. "Your breathing changed when you woke up. I've been awake for a while now actually."

"I thought you'd sleep longer than I did. You looked so much more exhausted than I felt." Moving slowly, Sasuke rolls over to face Kakashi so that he can more easily look at him. "Besides, we haven't been asleep very long."

Kakashi smiles at him again and moves his head forward to press his forehead to Sasuke's briefly, then draws back and pushes himself to a sitting position, looking down at Sasuke. "How long do you think we've been asleep?"

Sasuke frowns at Kakashi pulling away from him, but doesn't protest, knowing how tenable his position in Kakashi's life likely is at that moment. "Um, well, probably only a night. It's the next night isn't it? It's still dark, so it can't have been much more than a day that we slept."

Kakashi shakes his head and slides out from under the blankets, pushing to his feet and padding silently across the room. Sasuke pushes himself up onto his elbows to keep his eyes on the older man as he moves across the room. It's at that moment that Sasuke realizes two very important things: he was naked, and Kakashi was only wearing a pair of boxers. Intensely joyous about the darkness, Sasuke ducks his head automatically, letting his hair fall down to hide his face as the heat crawls up his cheeks. A sudden bright flash of light makes Sasuke jump and turn to look at Kakashi. He has to squint to see the older man where he stood by the window, pulling the curtains back just far enough to let a sliver of light into the room. He holds the curtains for a moment longer, then lets them fall back into place over the window and pads back across the room to sit on the edge of the bed, looking down at Sasuke.

"Actually, I only slept for a day or so, you've been asleep for a day and a half. It's late Thursday morning."

Sasuke drops back down into the bed, then jumps and sits up straight, looking around the room as if he expected to find something there. When his gaze settles on Kakashi again, he's almost panicked. "How could you let me sleep that long? I need to go talk to Naruto, he's probably worried about me, or feeling like I've abandoned him. Shit, Kakashi, you shouldn't have let me sleep so long!"

When he starts to crawl over to the edge of the bed, Kakashi reaches out and grabs Sasuke's arm, stopping him. "Sasuke, wait. Listen to me for a minute." When Sasuke stops and turns his head to look up at Kakashi, he feels ice spike through his veins as inexplicable fear knifes his heart. "Naruto isn't here yet."

"He isn't here? What are you talking about? You said I've been asleep for a day and a half! Roger was going to bring Naruto back here that night, before we went to sleep, how could he not be here yet?"

When Kakashi doesn't answer right away, Sasuke feels the fear wrench the knife in his heart, cutting off his breathing. Moving slowly, the moment suddenly surreal for him, Sasuke reaches out and grabs Kakashi's arm weakly in both hands. "Why isn't Naruto here?" he manages to whisper.

"Roger called just before they left the motel. They had to wait for the storm to pass before a taxi would come out to pick them up. They left late last night, but another storm blew in unexpectedly. They never arrived, and I can't get in touch with Roger. I've had Charles out looking for them since the storm passed, but he hasn't found them yet. Ms Mimi has been trying to get in touch with him on his cell phone all morning. It's keeping her calm. We're all worried Sasuke, and we're doing what we can, but we need to stay calm."

Sasuke just stares at Kakashi in horror. He manages to tear his gaze away from the older man with some effort and begins looking around the room again as he had earlier, now knowing what it was his mind was telling him was missing. "I never should have left him. If I'd stayed with Naruto, he'd be ok now."

When bright sparks of light begin to dance in front of his eyes, Sasuke realizes he's hyperventilating himself in panic. He catches his breath and holds it, his mind reeling with fear. When his vision starts to gray around the edges, Sasuke forces himself to draw another breath. When he looks back at Kakashi, he realizes that the older man was speaking to him, and likely had been for a while. "What?" he gasps through numb lips.

Kakashi turns and takes Sasuke's arms in his, pulling Sasuke into his lap and hugging him almost too tight to breathe. "If you had stayed with Naruto rather than coming here, you'd have left that motel as soon as the first storm passed, and you'd have been caught in the next one. You'd likely both have died. Right now, you're alive, and I believe Naruto is too. Sasuke, look at me!" Sasuke turns his head slowly and looks at Kakashi blankly, his mind slowly shutting down. "If you lose it now, you'll not be able to help Naruto."

Sasuke just shakes his head, staring at Kakashi, trying to force his mind to work again, but each time he starts to think, an overwhelming panic floods his mind. He doesn't know how long he sits in Kakashi's lap battling the panic and trying not to think that Naruto was dead, but when Kakashi cups his face between his hands and leans in, kissing him hard, Sasuke feels a spurt of anger that pushes everything else away. He jerks back from Kakashi, feeling his face heating again, but for a much less pleasant reason this time. "What the hell are you doing? My best friend is probably dead and you want to make out!?"

Kakashi lets go of Sasuke's face, lifts him and sets him down in the edge of the bed, then gets up and walks across the room to his closet. "I could have slapped you, but I thought my way was much more fun. You can think now though, can't you?"

Sasuke glares after the older man, until his words sink in. Leaning back slightly, Sasuke blinks and shakes his head, pushing away the rage and finding his mind calm once again. "Yes, I can. I'm sorry I yelled at you."

Kakashi shakes his head just before he steps into the closet. When he calls his reply, his voice is muffled. "Don't be sorry. You needed that anger to break past the panic. I knew that, and that's why I kissed you." There's a pause, then Kakashi's head pokes out of the open closet door again, and Sasuke can't help but answer the grin on his face with one of his own. "Besides, I really like kissing you. You've got the softest lips."

Sasuke chuckles as the blush flames across his cheeks again when Kakashi ducks back into the closet. When he emerges a few minutes later in jeans, sweatshirt and heavy boots, Sasuke is sitting facing the closet with his legs drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around his knees. "Thank you, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiles at him and walks across the room, stopping in front of Sasuke. "You don't need to thank me either. Kissing you is always my pleasure." When he winks, Sasuke grins at him again and shakes his head. "Now, how about we go grab something to eat. I've brought some of your clothes and put them in my closet so you can decide for yourself what you want to wear."

Sasuke nods as Kakashi leans down and kisses his forehead. He sits silently for a few minutes after Kakashi leaves, then slowly slides off the bed and pads over to the closet, murmuring to himself, "You better be ok Naruto, or I'll never forgive you."

When he steps into the closet, Sasuke finds his clothes quickly. He pulls on boxers and jeans, then sits down to pull on a pair of socks. It's at this moment that Sasuke realizes he'd forgotten to ask Kakashi why he'd been naked while the older man was sleeping in his boxers. Shaking his head, Sasuke pulls on his own heavy boots, a smaller pair of the same boots Kakashi had put on. He pushes to his feet again and starts to grab one of his sweatshirts, then stops. He looks at the pile of clothes for a moment, then shakes his head and turns to look at Kakashi's clothes. He runs his hands over the hanging clothing, then stops, fingers brushing a deep green sweater. Sasuke tilts his head to the side looking at it, then smiles and slips it off the hanger and pulls it over his head. He looks down at himself, seeing how big the sweater was on him and grins. Wrapping his arms around himself, Sasuke hugs the sweater to himself, imagining that he could feel Kakashi's arms wrapped around him when he was in this sweater. Satisfied, Sasuke turns off the closet light and steps out into the dark bedroom, moving quickly through the room to the door, suddenly not only eager for something to eat, but eager to see Ms Mimi again.


	17. Chapter 17

Kakashi looks up from the cup of coffee he was clutching in his hands when Sasuke walks into the room. He sees him just long enough to realize that the boy is wearing one of his sweaters, making him smile, then Sasuke vanishes behind the bulk of the cook as she grabs Sasuke and crushes him against her chest in something that was likely called a hug, but probably felt more like a slow death to Sasuke. Kakashi had been on the receiving end of a hug like that more often than he could count. Looking down into his coffee again, he leaves the two to their reunion as he contemplates his next move. Kakashi had come to a decision, and was now trying to figure out how he was going to win the next battle with Sasuke when the younger male heard his plans. Sighing he drinks more of the coffee and rubs his eyes, wishing he could go back to sleep.

"Ms Mimi, please. Can you finish your reunion later? I need to talk to Sasuke about something."

Kakashi doesn't flinch under the look the older woman gives him. He was used to it having lived with it his entire life. Lifting the mug to his lips again, he takes another sip of the coffee and just waits. "Fine, but you remember what I said Kakashi Hatake! Don't you go getting this boy in trouble when he's only just come back! Besides, if we lose him now, you'll never get to sleep with him."

Kakashi fights down a grin and shakes his head. "I've already slept with him, twice." Kakashi glances at Sasuke, seeing the boy blush, then turns his gaze back to the cook and grins wider at her shocked expression. "As a matter of fact, I just spent the better part of two days sleeping with him."

"Oh very funny! You know what I meant." She pauses and looks back at Sasuke, concern lining her face as she turns back to Kakashi. "Please keep him safe."

Kakashi nods and smiles. "I have every intention of doing that." He watches the woman walk out of the kitchen to return to trying to raise Roger on his cell phone, then turns his attention to Sasuke. "Grab yourself some coffee and come sit down, we need to talk."

Sasuke moves into the room, moving eagerly to the coffee. Once he's poured himself a cup and grabbed a couple of donuts, he moves over to sit across the table from Kakashi. Before he has a chance to say anything however, Sasuke speaks. "I'm going with you. There's nothing to argue about, so you can get that look out of your eyes."

Kakashi blinks, sitting back in his chair, shocked. He shakes his head and frowns across the table at Sasuke, ignoring the twinkle in the boy's eyes as he peered at him over the top of his cup. "I'm not even going to ask. And you're wrong on both accounts. There is something to argue about because you're not going with me. If you want to fight me on this, I'll sit right here and let you argue, but you should know the longer we argue, the more time that's being wasted."

Sasuke shrugs and takes a bite of one of the donuts, chewing slowly and giving Kakashi an infuriating smirk. He takes another sip of his coffee before he replies. "Ok, you go off without me since you want to play hero all alone."

Kakashi wants to relax, but he knows that look in Sasuke's eyes too well. The boy wasn't done arguing with him yet. "Good, I'm glad you're being sensible about this."

"Oh yes, I'm being just as sensible as you are. You go out and play hero all alone, leave me behind. But, just so you know, I'm going, either with you, or by myself. It doesn't particularly matter to me either way. I _am_ going to go look for my best friend however."

Kakashi sets his coffee cup down carefully and closes his eyes, taking several deep breaths in an attempt to calm himself before he speaks. When he opens his eyes again and sees the stubborn set of Sasuke's shoulders, the frustrated anger comes to life inside him once more. Standing abruptly and knocking his chair over behind him, Kakashi slams his hands down on the tabletop, sloshing coffee all over the table and across one of his hands, but he doesn't notice. "Damnit Sasuke! Why are you being so damn stubborn about this?"

Sasuke jumps to his feet, knocking his own chair over as he leans across the table, returning Kakashi's glare. "Naruto is my best friend! I'm not going to just sit here on my ass and do nothing while he could be in trouble out there somewhere!"

Kakashi sighs and pushes his fingers through his hair, making the silver locks stand up wildly all over his head. He strides around the table and takes Sasuke by the shoulders, turning the younger male to face him. He steadies himself and forces his frustration back far enough that he doesn't scream in Sasuke's face. "Why won't you let me protect you? Why won't you let me take care of you?" Kakashi clenches his jaws, falling silent for a moment as he realizes he said what he was thinking, but not what he'd meant to say. Shaking his head he tries again. "If you go with me, I'll spend all of my time worrying about you, trying to make sure nothing happens to you. With that kind of distraction, I might miss something important that could lead me to where ever they are."

Sasuke just stands, staring in Kakashi. He can see the turmoil that was raging within the boy, so he stays quiet, waiting for Sasuke to make a decision. When he sees that old familiar stubborn light coming back into his eyes, Kakashi drops his hands away from Sasuke's shoulders and shakes his head. He starts to say something to the younger male, but realizes he's out of things to say. Shaking his head again, he gives Sasuke one last sad look and walks past him, sighing. He doesn't look back as he walks out of the kitchen, heading for his study to make a few phone calls before heading out.

Kakashi has just hung up the phone when Sasuke opens the door several minutes later. "Why'd you walk away from me like that?"

Looking up, Kakashi leans back in his chair and just looks at Sasuke's tiredly. "Because I haven't got the energy to fight with you. I can't keep butting my head against the same wall again and again, it's worn me down. I've tried everything I can think of to get you to trust me, but nothing has worked. You've been on your own too long. You're too set in your ways. You're never going to let me in, not completely, and right now, I don't want to deal with that. I don't have time for a broken heart. I've got to find Naruto and Roger.

"Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got another phone call to make before I can start the search."

Rather than waiting to see what Sasuke does, Kakashi picks up his cell phone and dials a number from memory. He does glance up once however when he hears the door click quietly closed. Shaking his head, he turns his attention back to the matter at hand when someone answers his call. "This is Kakashi Hatake. A member of my staff and a boy that's been staying with me have gone missing in that storm we just had. So far we've been unable to reach them via cell phone, and I'm about to head out and search the area between my home and where they were coming from. I'm going to need some help."

"Well Kakashi, I haven't heard from you in a long time. Not since our last sparring match. You're not still sore from the beating you took are you?"

Kakashi closes his eyes and fights to only sigh, when what he really wants to do is scream at the fool. Dropping down to sit in the chair behind his desk, Kakashi leans back and tries to calm himself. "Didn't you hear a damn thing I just said? I haven't got time to screw around, if you're not going to help, let me know now so I can call someone else."

"Well, you're testy. This boy must be someone special. And which member of your staff is it he's off with?"

"Roger is with him. And the boy is important to me, but not for the reason you're implying. He's become like a part of my family since he's been staying here. But he is the best friend of someone who is very important to me. Now, can we get serious?"

"Sure, sure, I'm always ready to help, you know that. Ok, Roger I know, now tell me about this boy."

"He's 17, blonde hair, blue eyes, five foot four and probably weighs around a hundred pounds."

There was a long pause as Kakashi assumes the information is being taken down, then the question he'd been dreading. "Name?"

Sighing, Kakashi closes his eyes again and rubs them with the thumb and index finger of his free hand. "Naruto Uzumaki."

"Hey, is that's the kid--"

"Yes."

"Has he been with you all this time?"

Kakashi sighs again and stands up, pacing back and forth behind his desk once more. "No, he hasn't. He was on his way back here when... well, I don't know what happened. That's why I need help finding them."

"Is he--"

"Stop asking so damn many questions! You can question me all you want later, but right now I need to find Roger and Naruto! If one of them is hurt because you're running off at the mouth, I'm going to--" Kakashi stops himself with some effort and takes a deep breath to calm himself before continuing. "Look, just do what you can, ok? I need to get started looking."

"Sure Kakashi, but you're going to owe me one after this."

"Yeah, I know. We'll work out something later."

Without waiting for a reply, Kakashi hangs up the phone and walks around his desk. He hurries down the hall, out to the entryway and stops at the closet to pull out a coat. He pauses with his hand on the doorknob to the closet and glances back the way he'd come. Shaking his head, he heads off in search of Sasuke, but finding the portly cook instead. "Ms Mimi, have you seen Sasuke?"

The older woman nods and frowns at Kakashi, making his heart begin to race. He knew she was about to deliver news he didn't want to hear. "He's in his room. I saw him go in, and he looked so upset I went to talk to him, but he's locked the door and won't open it. I can't even get him to talk to me. I don't know what you did to that boy, but you better fix it."

Kakashi curses colorfully, earning another frown from the woman who'd been like his mother for his entire life. Rather than apologize as he normally would, he walks around the woman and heads up the stairs. He moves swiftly down the hall and stands outside Sasuke's closed bedroom door. He balls his hands into fists at his sides, hanging his head as he tries to come up with the best way to lure Sasuke from his room. Part of his mind insisted that it was better if he just left Sasuke angry and locked in his room, because then he'd be safe at least, but a larger part of him knew he couldn't leave things unresolved or Sasuke would just draw farther away from him.

Taking a deep breath to settle his nerves, Kakashi lifts his head and lays a hand against the closed door. "Sasuke, please open the door." When no reply comes, he nods and sighs. "Fine, then at least listen. I'm sorry I was so short with you. I'm not sorry for what I said, because it's true, but I'm sorry for the way I said it. I understand you're just as upset about all of this as I am. Right now, I'm not able to handle your recklessness like I normally can, I'm too worried about Roger and Naruto. I don't want to have to worry about you too, but I can't seem to make you understand just how much I would worry if you were out there with me."

Kakashi pauses, waiting several heartbeats to hear if Sasuke says anything. He hears a soft sound from the other side of the door, and he waits, thinking that Sasuke was about to open the door. When the door remains closed however, Kakashi sighs tiredly and leans his forehead against it. "I know you probably won't listen, but I'm going to ask anyway. Please, Sasuke, stay here. I will bring Naruto back to you, I promise." After another brief pause, he adds, "I love you, Sasuke."

Turning away from the closed door, Kakashi trudges off down the hall, suddenly weary beyond imagining, his heart thumping dully in his chest. He finds Ms Mimi just where he left her at the bottom of the stairs, and he's afraid for a moment that he was in for a lecture, or was going to have to explain what had happened between himself and Sasuke, but when her face softens, he relaxes. He allows himself to be pulled into her arms, squished against her ample body in one of her usual bear-hugs. When she steps back, Kakashi starts to step around her, heading off to begin the search, but she grabs his arm, pulling him back around to face her.

"I know where Roger is."

Kakashi has to reach out to the newel to steady himself when the room begins to spin with the force of his relief. "Where is he?" he breathes out in little more than a whisper.

"The hospital. They wouldn't give me any detail, only that he'd had a heart attack and that he's stable now. They expect he'll make a full recovery."

"And Naruto?"

The older woman shakes her head and spreads her hands, clearly exasperated. "All they would say was that they didn't have a patient matching his description. That's all they'd tell me."

Kakashi chokes back a curse at the last second, glancing at the older woman guiltily, then turns and starts down the hall for his study, meaning to call the hospital and force some answers out of whoever he could get to talk to him. He stops after a few steps, then turns back, deciding he was more likely to get the answers he needed if he went there and asked them in person. He knew that Roger would have a lot of the answers he needed, if not all of them. He pauses to hug the cook once more as he heads past her to the entryway. He yanks the closet open and grabs his coat, pulling it on. He whispers a curse and turns back to his study, finding the woman standing beside him, holding up his keys. Flushing in embarrassment, he takes the keys and kisses the older woman's cheek.

"Please don't tell Sasuke about this. I don't want to get his hopes up in case something goes wrong." Glancing down the hall in the direction of the stairs to the second floor, Kakashi frowns and murmurs, "He's been through enough already."

* * *

**AN:** I'm aware that the pace of the story is slowing down, but that's because we're getting close to the climax, and more detail is needed to set the stage.

There is still a question I've been asked more than once that's still unanswered, concerning Sasuke's state of undress a couple of chapters ago. It was supposed to be explained in this chapters, but they boys decided to be stubborn and fight instead. The question will be answered, but it'll be a little way down the road.


	18. Chapter 18

Sasuke paces his room. First from one corner to another, then across the room to yet another until he begins making nearly full circuits of the room, his movements hampered only by the bed. Frustrated and confused, Sasuke moves faster, trying to decide how he feels. He was hurt, he was angry, he was scared and he was so full of shame he almost couldn't stand himself. The tumble of emotions made no sense to him. He stopped once, staring at the bedroom window. Frowning, he steps over and looks out at the snow that covered everything, sunlight glaring painfully bright off of it. Suddenly he was exhausted again, too tired to hold the emotions that roiled inside of him, and they all bled away, leaving him empty and numb. Sighing, Sasuke starts to walk over to the bed, but stops when another knock comes to his door, He feels a spurt of annoyance with the cook. The older woman seemed determined to annoy him out of his room. It's not her voice that comes from the other side of the door however, and Sasuke takes a half step back, feeling as if he'd just been punched.

Moving silently across the room when Kakashi stops talking, Sasuke stands at the closed door. He reaches for the doorknob, then drops his hand away. He leans forward slowly, letting his forehead thump lightly against the door. When Kakashi speaks again, Sasuke lifts his hands and presses them to the door for a moment, then pushes himself away, moving back to the other side of the room, trying to put distance between himself and Kakashi. In that moment, the door closed between them didn't seem like enough separation. Leaning back against the wall, Sasuke slowly slides down to sit in the floor, staring at the door, heart and mind empty for once. After several minutes, Sasuke drops forward onto hands and knees and crawls across the room, grabbing his MP3 player off the table next to the bed. He didn't remember taking it out of his coat pocket and putting it there, but he was grateful to find it there none-the-less.

Sitting again, leaning back against the bed now, Sasuke puts the earbuds in and turns the player on. He leans his head back and closes his eyes, letting the music fill his empty mind, making it easier not to think. When he wakes from sleep he neither expected nor anticipated, Sasuke blinks and looks around the room, frowning as he tries to remember why he was there. Slowly, memory trickles back in and Sasuke sighs. He pushes to his feet, wincing at how sore his body was from sleeping sitting up in the floor. Turning the MP3 player off, Sasuke tucks it into his pocket and pulls the earbuds out, draping them over one shoulder. He glances at the clock on the bedside table and winces at the time, realizing he'd slept for several hours. Looking around the dark room, Sasuke pushes to his feet slowly, letting his body ease out of the position it had been stuck in for so long. He glances at the clock once more, thinking, then sighs and shakes his head. His gaze strays to his pictures, then immediately pulls away.

Sasuke turns away from the pictures and walks to the door. He unlocks it and tugs it open, looking down the hall. Just before he steps out, he notices the tray sitting next to his doorway. As he stares down at the food the cook had left for him, Sasuke feels a surge of guilt. Leaning down, he picks up the tray and takes it back into his room. He sets the tray on the bed and sits next to it. He wonders briefly how long the food had sat outside his door waiting for him to come out. Reaching for the soda, and finding it still mildly cool, he knows it can't have been sitting for too long. He opens the can then grabs the sandwich with his other hand. He takes a bite of the sandwich and gives a lopsided smile. Peanut butter and jelly, as if he were still a kid. It occurs to him then that that was exactly how he'd been acting. He couldn't get his way, so he'd had a temper tantrum, forcing Kakashi to lose his temper with him for the first time that Sasuke could remember.

Finishing the sandwich, Sasuke shakes his head and takes another sip of the soda, then sets it back in the tray. Appetite suddenly gone, he ignores the chips as he picks the tray up and walks out of the room. He moves through the dim, silent house, heading for the kitchen. He fully expected when he walked into the kitchen that the heavy set cook would be waiting to scold him. When he walks into the empty kitchen however, he frowns. Considering the time, and how long she'd likely gone without sleep, Sasuke decides that the older woman was more than likely sleeping. Grabbing an apple from the bowl sitting nearby, Sasuke turns and walks out of the kitchen. He pauses just outside of the kitchen, then turns and head for Kakashi's study. He stops outside of the door and rests his hand against the closed door for a moment before opening it and stepping inside. He closes the door behind him, then moves across the dark room and turns on the small desk lamp. Sitting in the chair, Sasuke turns the computer on and stares at the screen, trying to remember how to find and put music on his MP3 player. Kakashi had showed him once, but usually it was the older man that did it for him, so he never had to think about it.

Reaching into his pocket, Sasuke pulls his MP3 player out and plugs it in to the computer. Taking a bite of the apple, Sasuke frowns and works his way slowly through Kakashi's MP3s on the computer. Finding the song he wants, Sasuke clears his mind then thinks back to the one time he'd moved a song to his MP3 player, remembering how he did it. Feeling a bit embarrassed for not remembering right away, Sasuke transfers the song from the computer to his player, taking another bite from the apple. Sitting back in the chair as the song transfers, Sasuke relaxes, enjoying the apple and letting his mind wander, thinking about all the songs he'd like to have on his player. Finishing the apple, he sets the core aside and leans forward, remembering something he'd wanted to check before, but having never gotten the chance. Going out onto the internet, Sasuke does a search, and finally settles on a song. Going through the steps to buy the song, Sasuke begins to yawn. As the song downloads, he leans back in the chair and closes his eyes.

When he hears the beep that lets him know the download was complete, Sasuke jerks from the half-doze he hadn't realized he'd slipped into. He moves through the steps to transfer the song to his player quickly, and when it's finished, he turns everything off, and plugs the earbuds back into the player. He pushes to his feet, sticks the earbuds in and turns his player on, finding the song he'd just bought, he clicks play and stands, leaning his hands down on the desktop as he listens to it. When the song ends, he smiles sadly and stands back up. He shuffles through the songs on his player until he finds the other song he'd added and sets it to repeat. Picking up the apple core, Sasuke reaches out and turns off the desk lamp, then walks around the desk and to the door. He pulls the door open and steps into the hall, pulling the door closed behind him, but stops for a moment to lean back against the door, listening to the song in his ears.

Pushing away from the door with a sigh, Sasuke moves down the hall, stopping in the kitchen long enough to throw away the apple core, then heads for the stairs, moving up to the second floor. He moves through the dim hall, already half asleep. He pushes his bedroom door open, then stops. He lifts his head and looks into the room, just able to make out the shape of his bed in the dim moonlight. He stands staring at the bed for several minutes, then shakes his head and pulls the door closed again and turns around, heading back down the hall. He pauses for only a moment outside of Kakashi's room, then opens the door and steps in. He walks into the room and moves over to the closet, reaching in to turn the light on. He pauses the music and pulls the earbuds out of his ears and sets the player aside to strip out of his clothes. He stands in his boxers, holding Kakashi's sweater in his hands, smiling sadly again. With a sigh, he drops all the clothes into the clothes hamper, then, without even thinking, grabs a pair of Kakashi's pajamas. He holds the pants in one hand and grins tiredly, then sets them aside knowing they'd be much too long. Instead, he pulls the top on and grabs his MP3 player, popping in the earbuds and resuming the music once again.

Stepping out of the closet, Sasuke reaches back and turns the light off, then pulls the door closed behind him. As he trudges tiredly to the bed, he has a fleeting desire to call Kakashi, then decides against it, not sure the older man would want to talk to him after the way he'd acted earlier in the day. Crawling into the bed and aching to be held, Sasuke curls up and pulls the blanket over himself. He reaches a hand out and places the MP3 player on the pillow next to his head, then closes his eyes and lets the music fill his mind and relax his body as sleep claims him.

* * *

**AN:** I aplogize for how short this chapter is, but let's face it, most of my chapters get their length from dialogue. It's easy to eat up lines that way. ;)

Ok, in all seriousness, there's several pretty good reasons why this chapter is so short. The big one being that I got about halfway through the chapter when a distraction in the form of the man I married came into the living room where I was writing, flopped on the couch and proceeded to sing along with the song I was listening to. x.x That wasn't enough, he had to talk to me after that. Fully distracted now and having lost my train of thought, I turned the tv on and found something to watch I knew he wouldn't be interested in and would run him to another room of the house. lol Sadly, it's also a show I enjoy quite a bit. (Ninja Warrior. Oh man that show it fun even if I can't understand the announcer. Though, we do have the added English announcer so us poor English speakers can know what's going on.) Which brings us to the next reason. XD The English announcer would be none other than Dave Wittenberg, and yes, I'm a fangirl. I just love to listen to him talk. Not the right voice to be listening to while I'm trying to write from Sasuke's POV. (But it did give me a very clear image of the next chapter.) Which would be the next excuse on my list. I'm trying to write chapter 18 and in my head I'm already writing 19. lol And the most realistic reason? Because it got so hot today I got overheated going grocery shopping this morning and have therefor been zombie-like tired all day.

Oh, and both songs will be revealed, I promise. One will be revealed in chapter 19, the other. Can't say for sure. It was a set up for a future scene. (That was originally supposed to be the end of the story, but isn't going to be now.)


	19. Chapter 19

Kakashi walked into the hospital room and felt tension just drain away. He was so relieved to see Roger he wondered for a moment if he was going to faint. Standing straighter, he moves slowly, quietly across the room and sits in the chair next to the bed. He doesn't say anything, just watched Roger's chest rise and fall with his breathing. Slowly his gaze slides over to the machine that registered his heartbeat. Kakashi watched the machine work, listening to the soft beep until he hears a rustle from the bed. He turns his head and smiles when he sees Roger looking at him. Moving the chair closer to the bed, Kakashi reaches out and takes the older man's hand in both of his, careful of the IV. His gaze traces the wires coming out from under the hospital gown, leading to the softly beeping machine.

Turning his gaze back up to Roger's face, Kakashi smiles playfully. "You know, if you wanted a few days off, you only had to ask. Isn't this a bit extreme?"

Roger smiles and shakes his head, looking a little sad. "I'm sorry Mr Hatake. I don't know what happened. One minute I was fine and the next..." His voice gradually grows more and more quiet until he trails off and stops talking entirely.

Kakashi gives the older man's hand a reassuring squeeze, then shakes his head. "Don't worry about it. It's not like you did it on purpose. I'm just glad you're ok. I'm glad it didn't happen when you were stuck in that motel with Naruto. Speaking of Naruto, where is he?"

Roger sighs and closes his eyes. "Hiding. I don't know where, he won't tell me. When I had my attack, the taxi driver brought me here. Naruto came with me, but he held back, tried to keep from being noticed. He stayed until he was sure I was going to be ok, then he vanished. He comes late at night to check on me, or at least that's been the pattern so far. I've almost got him talked into going home. I think I could get him tonight."

Kakashi frowns. "Why isn't he already there? Why is he resisting going home?"

"Because he's still scared the police are after him and that that is the very place they will find him."

Kakashi frowns harder and rubs his face with both hands, suddenly tired again. "But, Sasuke told him there's a chance he didn't do anything."

Roger nods and closes his eyes for a moment before he replies. "Yes, and he's holding on to that hope, but he's still scared. I think it's Sasuke that will eventually bring him around."

Kakashi sighs and leans back in the chair. "If he knew how upset Sasuke was right now, I think he'd find his way back home pretty damn quickly."

Roger nods again, eyes closed once more. "You're likely right, sir."

"You need to rest. Sleep now and I'll just sit here with you until Naruto comes."

Roger shakes his head, but doesn't open his eyes. "He won't come in if he sees you here. He says he peeks in before he steps in to make sure no one is with me."

Kakashi turns to look over his shoulder, glaring at the empty doorway. "Fine, I'll leave before he shows up then." Pausing, Kakashi turns back to look at Roger before he continues. "But when he comes to you tonight, tell him that Sasuke is a mess and worried sick about him, and that if he doesn't come home tonight, he won't have to worry about the police finding him because I'll track him down and kick his ass for doing this to Sasuke. I'll call Charles before I leave and have him come out here and wait for Naruto so he can bring him back home."

Roger smiles faintly and nods. "I'll do that, sir."

Kakashi leans back in the chair and resumes watching the rise and fall of Roger's chest as he breathed. He watched as the movement slowed and evened out with sleep. It's not long after that that Kakashi himself dozes off in the chair, holding Roger's hand once again. He wakes up each time the nurses come in the check the older man's vital signs, or change his IV bag. The doctor comes in once and Kakashi just looks at the man, saying nothing. The doctor seemed surprised that Kakashi didn't have questions, but he left without commenting. It's late in the evening when Kakashi wakes with the arrival of yet another nurse, this one informing him that visiting hours had ended. Normally, Kakashi would have fought the woman and stayed, but he remembered what Roger had said about Naruto only coming when the room was empty. Taking one last reassuring look at his butler, Kakashi gives his hand a small squeeze then slips out of the room.

Stopping just outside of the hospital doors, Kakashi calls Charles, relieved that he hadn't woke the other man up and relays his plans for getting Naruto back that night. Tucking his cell phone back into his pocket, Kakashi trudges through the snow to the parking lot and climbs into his car. Still weary, Kakashi starts the car and turns the heat on high, then crosses his arms over the steering wheel and rests his forehead against his arms. When the car warms up and he thinks he's about to fall asleep, he sits back and puts his seatbelt on, knowing that he needed to get home and to his own bed before he fell asleep. Putting the car in gear, Kakashi pulls carefully out of the parking space and heads for home.

The drive home passes in a blur that Kakashi doesn't remember. As he climbs out of the car, he giggles tiredly wondering if he ran any red lights on his way home. Shaking his head, he moves through the garage and into the house. He pauses in the entryway to take his coat off and hang it up. Hearing a soft noise, Kakashi moves through the house in the direction the noise had come from and finds the cook in her kitchen. He smiles tiredly at her when she looks up at him. "I thought you'd still be asleep Ms Mimi. What are you doing in here?"

"I thought you might be hungry when you got home. Charles told me about Naruto. I hope your message is enough to bring him home tonight."

Kakashi sighs and shakes his head, leaning against the door jamb "No, I'm too tired to eat right now. I'll eat a huge breakfast in the morning if you're up to cooking it."

"You know I will be. I'm always up to cooking, it's the only thing I love more than you."

Kakashi grins at the older woman, enjoying her favorite joke just as much now as he had when he was a boy. "I'm glad to hear it." He pauses and frowns, unsure how to ask the next thing on his mind. "Um, about--"

"He's eaten a sandwich and an apple today," she interrupts him, answering his question. "I've not seen him though. I knocked on his door, but he didn't answer. It was so quiet, I think he was asleep. I left the tray outside his door and went to lay down. When I got up a while later the tray was in the kitchen and the sandwich was gone as well as an apple. So, he came out long enough to eat at least."

"But you haven't seen him since?"

The older woman shakes her head and walks over to Kakashi. "No, he's not come out of his room that I know of, except that one time. Why don't you go up and check on him? We both know you're not going to be able to sleep until you see him."

Kakashi nods and pushes away from the door jamb "You're right, I won't. Why don't you walk up with me? We can both look in on him, provided he hasn't still got his door locked, then we can both get some much needed and deserved sleep."

The cook loops her arm through Kakashi's, then reaches out and flips the switch, turning the kitchen light off. "Yes, let's."

Kakashi walks slowly through the house, nervous and in no hurry to reach Sasuke's room. There was a loud part of his mind that kept telling him he'd pushed Sasuke too far and had finally pushed him away. It insisted that Sasuke and left him and when Kakashi went to his room, it would be empty. By the time they reached Sasuke's bedroom door, Kakashi was so full of dread his heart was thumping in his throat and he couldn't bring himself to reach out and open the door at first. When he does manage to make his arm cooperate long enough to reach for the doorknob he begins a silent prayer that the door would still be locked, because he knew that it would mean Sasuke was still in his room. Taking a deep breath and trying to ignore the strange look he was getting from Ms Mimi, Kakashi twists the doorknob and feels his heart plummet to the bottom of his stomach when it turns. Closing his eyes, Kakashi pushes the door open then looks at the bed in the dim light from the hall. When it registers in his mind that the bed was empty Kakashi hisses, fighting back a surge of panic.

Stepping into the room, Kakashi looks back at the older woman. "Go check in the library, he might be in there."

When the woman turns to go, Kakashi turns the light on and moves over to the closet and opens the door, dreading what he'd find there. He closes his eyes and lets out the breath he'd been holding when he finds that Sasuke's clothes were just as they had been before he left. His relief is short lived however when he realizes that he has no clue where Sasuke was. Turning the light off and stepping out into the hall, Kakashi stands there, trying to think where else Sasuke could possibly be. With a start, he thinks of Naruto's room and runs down the hall, throwing the door open as the edge of panic gets a hold in his mind. He shoves it back down, then looks into the room. Finding it empty as well, Kakashi feels his blood run cold. Stepping back out into the hall again, he starts to walk away, then stops, not knowing where he could go to look next. Hearing Ms Mimi coming back up the stairs, Kakashi waits, breath held as he prayed that she would come with news about Sasuke.

"He's not in the library. I checked your study too, just in case, he wasn't there either."

Kakashi bites back a curse and gets a firm hold on his panic. He tells himself silently that Sasuke had to be hidden away in the house somewhere. If he'd left, he'd have taken his clothes with him. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply, Kakashi calms himself until he's able to think clearly again. After a few minutes, he opens his eyes and frowns. He glances at the cook once, then turns and hurries down the hall to his room. He opens the door and takes a couple of steps into the room before he registers the sight of Sasuke curled up in his bed. Relieved beyond measure, Kakashi sinks slowly to his knees, gasping in a deep breath. He looks back over his shoulder at the older woman standing in his bedroom doorway and smiles sheepishly as he pushes himself up to his feet again.

"He's sleeping in your bed. That probably should have been the first place we checked," she whispers to him. When he only nods, she smiles and steps back out of the room, calling softly, "Good night Kakashi," as she pulls the door closed behind her.

Kakashi moves slowly across the room in the dark. He finds his bathroom door and pushes it open. When the light comes on slowly, he stands and waits for the light to get bright enough to reach the bed. In the dim glow of the bathroom light, Kakashi walks quietly across the room to stand at the edge of his bed, looking down at Sasuke. He traces the shape of Sasuke's body curled up under the blanket, feeling relief building gradually in him. He was relieved to have found Sasuke, but at that moment he was even more relieved to have found Sasuke in his bed, because he knew that meant Sasuke had forgiven him. Kakashi starts to turn away, to go get changed for bed when he notices a dark shape on the pillow next to Sasuke's head. Moving closer and leaning down, Kakashi smiles when he realizes it was Sasuke's MP3 player. Then he notices the wires coming from the boy's ears. Shaking his head, Kakashi reaches out and gently pulls the earbuds from Sasuke's ears and picks up the small blue player. He starts to turn it off and set it aside when curiosity gets the better of him. He clicks a button to make the little LCD screen light up so he can see what Sasuke was listening to.

Kakashi stares at the screen for a few moments until the screen goes dark, then turns his gaze back to Sasuke's sleeping form and smiles as he murmurs, "You didn't have Hoobastank on your player before. You were in my study. But I can understand why. "The Reason" is a good choice, Sasuke. I just wonder which of us you think the song is more fitting to right now." Grinning, Kakashi shakes his head and whispers to himself, "Probably both of us."

Smiling again and sighing, Kakashi turns the player off and sets it down on the bedside table. Leaning over, he kisses Sasuke softly, then stands and moves across the room to the closet. He pulls the door open and steps in, not bothering with the light. He strips quickly before the adrenaline caused by his fear that Sasuke had left could fade away and leave him exhausted again. Naked, he reaches out and absently grabs a pair of pajamas off a shelf. When he comes up with only a pair of pajama pants, he frowns, but feeling exhaustion already beginning to suck at the edges of his mind as the adrenaline faded, Kakashi shrugs it off and pulls the pants on. Stepping out of the closet, he takes a moment to turn the light off in the bathroom, then pulls the door closed and moves quietly across the room to his bed. The moment he crawls in and lays down behind Sasuke, the boy moves back, mumbling something in his sleep as he cuddles his back to Kakashi's chest. Smiling sleepily, Kakashi wraps his arms around Sasuke and holds him close as he drifts off to sleep.

* * *

**AN:** Two chapters in one day? Yep. Even though I'm like a zombie and nearly brain dead from tiredness? Yep. What does this mean? This chapter REALLY wanted to be written. No thought was required. I opened the file and typed. At one point my husband walked in the front door after having a smoke and I watched him walk from the front door through the living room and into the kitchen and never stopped typing. XD (And I only made one typo. I'm proud of that. lol) It's easy to write a chapter that doesn't require thought because it's basically already written in my head.

My muse is pushing for chapter 20 to be written as well. Not going to happen tonight. As soon as I get this chapter posted, I'm going to get _my_ much needed and deserved sleep. ;)

Ah yes, the first song Sasuke put on his MP3 player in chapter 18. Great song. I heard it in a random shuffle yesterday and it started building chapter 18 in my head. I highly recomment the song, it's great. :)


	20. Chapter 20

Sasuke wakes with a strong feeling of deja-vu. Drawing a slow, deep breath he bats at that feeling of deja-vu, suddenly realizing what was giving it to him. Opening his eyes he looked toward the dim light shining around the two figures standing in the bedroom doorway. Even in this half asleep state he is able to recognize Kakashi's shape as one of the two at the door. Closing his eyes he listens with little interest to what's being said.

"...here, but he fell asleep in the back of the limo. I've brought him in but didn't know what I should do."

Sasuke recognized that voice, it was the driver Charles. He wonders briefly what Charles is talking about, then Kakashi speaks and distracts him. "Take him to his room. He's likely even more exhausted than the rest of us and needs his sleep. And, if you don't mind, stop in the kitchen before you go to bed yourself and get a snack or something to set next to the boy's bed in case he wakes in the night and wants something to eat, though I don't expect he will."

Kakashi punctuates his little speech with a yawn, making Sasuke yawn himself. Snuggling deeper into the blankets, Sasuke tunes out the rest of the conversation and starts to drift back toward sleep. He slips back to the edge of consciousness once when he feels Kakashi crawl back into the bed beside him. Sasuke wakes himself enough to roll over facing Kakashi, sliding one arm over the older man as he snuggles in against his chest. Listening to the soft thump of his heartbeat as he falls back into the darkness. His sleep is plagued by dreams of Kakashi that drove him from sleep abruptly enough to sit up as if he'd been pulled. Feeling the heat of a blush on his cheeks, he lifts his hands to rub his face briskly, trying to push memories of the dream aside. When he turns his head and looks down at Kakashi, finding the older man watching him in the dim light, Sasuke feels the heat that had begun to recede blossom over his cheeks again.

"Bad dreams, Sasuke?"

Sasuke shakes his head and closes his eyes, willing the blush away, hopeful that the light was dim enough that Kakashi couldn't see it. Taking a deep breath, he opens his eyes again and looks down at Kakashi who was still watching him intently. "Don't you ever sleep? This is the third time I've woke up to find you awake before me."

Kakashi just continues to watch him intently enough to make Sasuke squirm for several long moments before he replies. "Actually, I was only awake a moment before you. You woke me up actually. Whatever you were dreaming had you twisting around and moaning in your sleep. When you sat up, I woke completely. What were you dreaming about Sasuke?"

Feeling the heat flare again, Sasuke wonders if he can tell the older man the truth of the images that haunted his dreams, and the reasons the images had come when they did. Sasuke had little doubt that his fear and confusion about his continued life with Kakashi when he'd drifted off to sleep the night before was the culprit. Turning away from that too intense gaze, Sasuke stares across the dimly lit room, trying not to think about the dreams and what they might mean. Distracting himself, he wonders where the dim light was coming from. He'd noticed it before, but had never asked or gone looking, just accepted it for what it was.

Sasuke is pulled back from his distracting thoughts, and back into the memories of his dreams when he feels Kakashi's hand on his back. "Sasuke?"

"Yes?"

"What's wrong?"

Sasuke frowns and really considers that question. If his dreams were his mind's answer to all his questions, what was wrong with it? He loved Kakashi, he didn't doubt that. He'd thought about that very situation more than once in the past since he'd realized that he loved Kakashi. It seemed to Sasuke however that the more he thought about it, the harder it became to think about it. He was nervous enough that he could feel his hands shaking in his lap. Trying to stop thinking about it, Sasuke answers Kakashi's question without turning to look at him. "I'm nervous."

Feeling Kakashi shift next to him, Sasuke turns his head and looks down at the older man who was now laying with his head propped up on his hand, watching him even more intently. Sasuke looks away from that intent stare, his gaze straying to Kakashi's chest and just stopping, distracting him enough that he nearly misses Kakashi's next question. "What are you nervous about?"

Forcing his gaze away from Kakashi's chest and not bothering to resist the urge to squirm, Sasuke takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly. When he opens his eyes again, he turns and looks at Kakashi then leans over him, stopping with their faces just inches apart. "You. This. Everything."

Sasuke catches Kakashi's confused frown just before he steels his nerves and leans in, capturing Kakashi's lips with his own. He feels the surprise and the hesitation in Kakashi and starts to draw back, ready to run if he was being rejected. As if in response to Sasuke's sudden tension, Kakashi reaches out and grabs his arms, holding Sasuke in place as the hesitation melts away and he returns the soft pressure of Sasuke lips. Sasuke relaxes by inches, losing himself in the feel of Kakashi's lips against his own, the nervousness fading under the heady pleasure of the kiss. Stretching himself out in the bed once more, Sasuke half drapes himself over Kakashi's upper body, taking a more dominant role in the kiss and earning a sound from Kakashi that was caught somewhere between a groan and a laugh. Sasuke takes encouragement from this sound and presses himself more firmly against Kakashi, getting flashes of his dreams that urge him ever forward.

Feeling Kakashi's arms tighten around him, Sasuke slides his right hand over and places it on Kakashi's chest. He slowly begins to trace his fingertips down the warm flesh, feeling goosebumps break out under his touch and Kakashi shiver in reaction. Sasuke draws back from the kiss, panting softly, so that he could look down into Kakashi's face, watching the play of pleasure and emotion as he continues to explore his chest. Pausing from time to time to lean in for another kiss and giving it his full attention, Sasuke continues his light explorations of Kakashi. Driven by the memories that still flooded his mind and filling him with an urge he'd never felt before, Sasuke lets his hand slide slowly downward. He smiles when Kakashi jerks slightly under Sasuke's gentle touch on his stomach, amused in the back of his mind to know that the older man was ticklish. Moving past his stomach, Sasuke continues to work downward, stopping to tease his fingertips along the waist of Kakashi's pants, watching the change in Kakashi's look. Sasuke didn't quite know what that look meant, but he instinctively understood the heat behind the look.

"Sasuke?"

Rather than answer, Sasuke moves his hand past the elastic waistband of Kakashi's pajama bottoms. Turning his head, Sasuke watches the slow, downward progress of his hand as he listens to Kakashi's breathing begin to speed up with each inhalation. Hesitating just before he touches, Sasuke's gaze traces the area just below his hand where Kakashi was straining against the front of his pants. Licking his lips with a sudden spurt of nervousness returning, Sasuke slides his hand down that last breath of an inch, giving the barest of brushes along that hardened length. At Kakashi's gasp, Sasuke shivers and feels his own body react much stronger than it had to the dreams. Turning his head again, he watches Kakashi's features go slack with pleasure as Sasuke lowers his entire hand to cover him, rather than just using his fingertips as he hand been. Catching his bottom lip between his teeth, Sasuke watches Kakashi's reactions intently as he moved his hand up and down that hard length until he had the older man nearly writhing on the bed and gasping in pleasure. When Sasuke moves his hand up, sliding his fingers into the waistband of the pajama pants, he's surprised at the sudden change in Kakashi. The older man sits up and grabs his wrist, then drops back onto the bed panting.

After a few moments, when Kakashi's grip relaxes a bit, Sasuke starts to slide his hand again, only to have Kakashi's grip tighten once more. Frowning, Sasuke looks up at the older man in confusion. "What's wrong?"

Kakashi shakes his head and pulls Sasuke's hand up to his stomach, but doesn't relax his grip. "Things are going too far, you need to stop."

Sasuke only frowns harder. He watches the last vestiges of pleasure slip away from Kakashi's face, replaced by a determination Sasuke didn't like seeing at that moment. His heart beginning to thud against his ribcage, Sasuke shifts on the bed, moving a little further away from Kakashi. "Don't you want to?"

Kakashi closes his eyes for a moment and Sasuke feels the first trickles of relief. Then Kakashi opens his eyes again and the determination was still there. Now Sasuke was beginning to fear he was being rejected, and the fear of it closed his throat. Kakashi's reply didn't help him relax any. "Yes, but not right now."

Sasuke's frown turns to a scowl and he pulls his wrist out of Kakashi's grasp and pushes himself up to a sitting position, motioning with one hand as he snaps, "You sure could have fooled me."

Kakashi smiles and Sasuke feels a flutter of anger until he notices the sad edge to the smile. "Of course my body wants it. It's my mind that's holding back."

Sasuke blinks at him, considering this then shakes his head. "But I thought you said you loved me."

"I do love you, Sasuke."

"Then why did you stop me? Isn't this what you're supposed to do when you love someone?"

Kakashi sighs and pushes himself up to sit next to Sasuke. "That is why I stopped you. I want this Sasuke, and I want it with you, but I want it to be for the right reason. I don't want our first time to be because you think it's what we're supposed to do, or because we had a fight and you think I'm going to leave you. Which, I'm not by the way."

Sasuke feels heart sliding up his cheeks again and looks away from Kakashi until the blush has faded away once more. "So, when can we?"

"When the time is right."

"When the hell is that?"

"I'll let you know."

Sasuke scowls at this and crosses his arms over his chest. "Oh, and I don't get a say in this matter? It's all up to you?"

Kakashi sighs and shakes his head. "Your anger now is why I'm telling you no. You've still got so much growing to do. You're not ready for this yet Sasuke. If we did have sex, that's all it would be. I love you too much to just have sex with you. I want our first time and every time after that to be about our love, not a mindless need to confirm our existence with pleasure."

Sasuke just frowns, not knowing what to say to this. Kakashi sits and watches him quietly for several minutes, and when Sasuke still doesn't say anything, he speaks again. "Sasuke, you're so grown up in so many ways, but for this you're younger than your years in all of the important ways. You need to mature emotionally before you even consider taking that next step."

"You don't believe that I love you?"

Kakashi nods and sighs, leaning his head back to stare at something Sasuke couldn't see for a moment before he replied. "Of course I believe you. But this isn't just about you loving me. Right now, you're so scarred because of your past, and because of everything that's happened recently, that you're still hiding a lot of yourself, keeping it safe so you won't be hurt again. Until you feel safe enough, and trust me enough, to let me see those parts of you, I can't let things get to far out of hand physically. There's so much changing in you right now, you're growing so much, that sex would be a step back. Sex entails more then just the physical act and the pleasure that results, and if you're not prepared for those by being open completely to the emotion that comes with it, you're going to wind up worse than you are now."

Sasuke stares at Kakashi in the dark room, considering his words. Part of his mind was still ringing the alarm bells that Kakashi was holding back not for Sasuke's sake, but because he didn't want him. Sasuke clears his mind and concentrates on this alarm, allowing himself to think clearly rather than running on emotion, and he feels like a fool. He knew that Kakashi wouldn't lie to him about anything. Minor or major, Kakashi would always be honest with him, and to doubt that now was an insult to the older man. Lowering his head, Sasuke covers his face with his hands as the tension eases out of him. Taking a deep breath, he lifts his head once more to look at Kakashi who was sitting patiently, waiting for him to sort himself out.

"I seem to keep saying this a lot, but, I'm sorry, Kakashi. I'm sorry I keep taking the wrong step. I'm sorry I keep screwing up."

Kakashi shakes his head firmly and reaches out, cupping Sasuke's face in his hands and holding his gaze. "You're not screwing up. You're learning. Growing up on the streets you never had a chance to learn how to love and be loved completely. You never learned how to trust because on the streets it's dangerous to trust anyone too much. Right now, you're treading on new ground with each step, and it's easy to take the wrong path. That's what I'm here for, to put you back on the right path, and to wait for you at the end of that path, arms open and ready to love you for the rest of our lives."

Sasuke feels tears beginning to sting at his eyes, so he moves forward, wrapping his arms around Kakashi, using the hug to hide any tears that might escape. When he draws back, he's surprised to see that though he was smiling, there were two damp trails down Kakashi's cheeks. Without thinking, Sasuke leans forward and brushes a kiss over one tear track, then the other. When he starts to sit back, Kakashi pulls him back into his arms and kisses his lips, lingering over the kiss until they were both panting and aroused again. When Kakashi lets him go, Sasuke slides further away on the bed, blushing. A soft chuckle from Kakashi draws his attention.

"What's funny?"

"Nothing. It was either laugh or cry. Saying no to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

Sasuke feels his cheeks flare hotter than ever and he pulls his gaze away from Kakashi and murmurs, "Thank you."

When Kakashi moves, Sasuke looks back at him just in time to see the older man slide out of the bed. As he watches, Kakashi moves across the room and pulls the door open. Confused, Sasuke moves to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at him curiously. "You want me to leave?"

Kakashi shakes his head and smiles. "Never. But I thought you might want to see Naruto."

Sasuke gasps, jolting as if he'd been struck. "Naruto? He's home?"

When Kakashi nods, Sasuke jumps from the bed and runs to the door. He stops to throw his arms around Kakashi and hug him tightly once, then he's out the door and flying down the hall to Naruto's room. He doesn't knock before throwing the door open and running into the room. He has enough presence of mind to close the door behind him before moving across the room to Naruto's bed. Looking down at his sleeping friend, Sasuke feels an overwhelming flood of relief that takes all the strength from his legs. Sinking slowly to sit on the edge of the bed, Sasuke wipes at the tears that were suddenly sliding down his cheeks. Pulling his legs up, he lays down next to Naruto and pulls his best friend into his arms, holding his sleeping form tightly as he cried out the fear he'd been holding locked inside since he'd left Naruto to come home, and letting his relief take its place.

* * *

**AN:** I didn't think I'd get a chance to get this written for a day or two. Very busy right now with the addition of a new member to the household. (No, I didn't have a baby. lol My 19 year old stepson moved in yesterday.) But, I had trouble sleeping last night because I couldn't stop thinking about this chapter. Then, I woke up at 5:30 and couldn't go back to sleep for thinking about this chapter. I wrote the entire chapter in my head before I was able to go back to sleep. I have to say I enjoyed the one I wrote in my head better. It was much more eloquent. Or maybe it just seemed that way because I was exhausted. lol Anyway, this is probably the last chapter for a day or two. I've got to get the "kid" settled in before I have any real time to concetrate on writing. Sorry to make you guys have to wait again.


	21. Chapter 21

Kakashi walks into the kitchen so wrapped up in thought, the smell of food doesn't draw a smile and a pleasant word for the cook as it usually would. Instead he walks over to the breakfast nook and drops down into a chair. Propping his elbows in the table in front of him, he rubs his face, then shoves his fingers back through hair still damp from his shower. Leaning back he sighs, and when he opens his eyes, he finds himself looking at a glaring Ms Mimi. He blinks at the glare, but seeing the concern around the edges, he doesn't let it get to him. Instead, he offers the older woman a distracted smile.

"Ok, talk to me. I'm sure Naruto is going to sleep for a while, but where's Sasuke? Didn't the two of you make up last night?"

Kakashi sighs at the question he didn't want to answer. "Sasuke is with Naruto. I imagine he'll be down for breakfast a bit later after he's contented himself with Naruto's safety. And yes, he and I made up our fight, if you can call it that. But we've had another rough patch this morning."

Sighing, the large woman turns and strides back across the kitchen to tend her cooking before she speaks again. "What did you do to the boy this time, Kakashi Hatake?"

Shaking his head, Kakashi mutters, "It's more what I _didn't_ do to him that's the problem."

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Listen, things are going to work out, Sasuke just needs a bit of time, that's all."

"What are you hiding?"

Kakashi frowns, feeling himself growing slightly annoyed in spite of himself. "Nothing you need to know. I understand and appreciate your concern for Sasuke, and for me, but some matters are private and I intend to keep them that way."

Ms Mimi narrows her eyes and leans over the island she was working at, eying Kakashi suspiciously. "You slept with that boy didn't you?"

Kakashi clenches his jaws to keep from snapping at the woman, making the muscles in his cheeks twitch. He sees the surprise register on her face and he feels a spurt of satisfaction that she'd noticed his displeasure. He gives himself a moment more to calm his temper before replying. "Actually, I didn't. If I had, that would be my concern, and his. Our sex life is none of your business."

Kakashi watches the surprise bloom to pure shock before the older woman slowly turns away from him, returning to her work. It takes several minutes for Kakashi to realize that she was deliberately not looking at him. Realizing this, it occurs to him that this is the first time in his life he'd ever lost his temper with the woman that was so much like a mother to him. Closing his eyes, he curses silently and shakes his head, trying to figure out what had him so grumpy. His first thought was that sexual frustration, made so much worse by Sasuke's advances, was the culprit. Stifling the urge to giggle at this Kakashi shakes his head hard, once. Leaning back in his chair he finds himself having to cover a yawn. Dropping his hand to the tabletop, Kakashi frowns and realizes for the first time just how tired he was. He'd slept well enough since Sasuke's return, but he suspected his level of stress kept that sleep from being restful.

When the cook silently places a plate of food and a cup of coffee in front of him, Kakashi looks up and catches her eye. "Thank you. And I'm sorry for being such an asshole this morning. I guess I'm more stressed out than I thought."

The cook frowns at Kakashi's choice of language, making him have to hide a grin behind his coffee cup. "I know that, Kakashi. I've known that all along. You need to keep two things in mind however, the entire family is just as stressed as you are, believe it or not. And as stressed as we may be, it's nothing to the way Sasuke is feeling right now."

Kakashi blinks at this, then sets the coffee cup back onto the table beside his plate, watching the older woman walk back across the kitchen and beginning to clean up. He knew she was right, and he felt like a fool for not having thought of it sooner. He knew Sasuke was stressed, but he could never have guessed at the level of the boy's stress. Even though he knew that the entire household had been concerned for the boys, it had never occurred to him that they might be feeling the same kind of stress he was. Knowing that they didn't just call themselves a family idly, he should have known they'd be driven by the same desire to protect Naruto and Sasuke, and stuck in the same tangle of emotion and circumstance that seemed determined to keep the boy from being protected.

Eating the food in front of him without really noticing or tasting it, Kakashi begins to run through what he had done and what he could still do. He knew that Naruto was going to need to go to the police station to answer questions, but he felt it was probably better if he had a lawyer present when he did so. Remembering the state Sasuke had said Naruto had been in, Kakashi wondered if the boy would even be able to talk to the police. He hadn't had a chance to see Naruto since he'd returned, but his actions after Roger was admitted to the hospital led him to hope that perhaps Naruto was pulling out of that well of guilt he'd allowed himself to slip numbly into. Leaning back in his chair with his coffee cup clasped between his hands, Kakashi starts making plans, not thinking about how they all hinged on Naruto's mental state when he finally woke up.

Finishing his coffee, Kakashi pushes back from the table and walks across the kitchen to the older woman. He wraps his arms around her and hugs her tightly, still feeling guilty for the way he'd been acting. When he steps back and smiles weakly at the older woman, he's relieved to see the love in her eyes that had been there since his earliest memory. Without saying anything, Kakashi turns to head off for his study. He's so distracted by his own thoughts of everything he had planned to take care of, he doesn't even see Sasuke until he nearly runs over the boy as he steps into the kitchen. Stumbling to a stop, Kakashi, blinks down at Sasuke, then impulsively wraps his arms around the younger male, pulling him into a tight hug.

The slight hesitation before Sasuke returns the hug doesn't worry Kakashi since he'd likely just scared the boy half to death. He holds him silently until he feels the last of Sasuke's tension drain away, then murmurs in his ear, "How's Naruto?"

Sasuke grasps tighter and Kakashi feels some of the tension slide back into the boy's body before he replies. "He's still asleep. He looks terrible. I guess I won't really know how he is until he wakes up, and that won't be for a while."

Kakashi just nods and holds Sasuke until that tension drains away again. Pulling back far enough that he's able to look down into Sasuke's face, while still holding the boy comfortingly, Kakashi gives the boy a reassuring smile. "I'm going to fix all of this Sasuke, I promise."

Sasuke smiles tiredly and shakes his head. "Please don't make promises you can't keep."

Kakashi frowns and draws Sasuke tightly against his chest again. "I intend to keep this promise."

"You know what they say about good intentions, Kakashi."

Laughing in spite of himself, Kakashi pulls back again to look down at Sasuke. "You've got a point, but don't doubt my sincerity."

Sasuke smiles brightly now and shakes his head. "Never again."

Kakashi starts to draw away from the boy, meaning to go to his study and begin the process of keeping his promise, then thinks of one last point that needed to be made before they parted. "Sasuke, about this morning. I wanted you to know that I appreciate your willingness to take that next step, even though I was unwilling to let you."

Sasuke's smile slips away and he sighs. "It's ok Kakashi, I understand. And I also know you're right. I think I knew I wasn't ready from the moment I decided to try. Even I could feel my actions were driven by desperation more than anything else."

Kakashi nods and leans down to kiss Sasuke lightly, relieved that enough time had passed that he didn't find himself in an embarrassing situation again, reacting to the feel of Sasuke pressed to the front of his body as they kissed. "I love you, Sasuke."

The smile returns to Sasuke's face, brighter than ever and lightening Kakashi's heart. "And I love you, Kakashi."

As he steps around him, heading for his study and leaving Sasuke to finish his reunion with the cook over a much needed breakfast, but he's stopped by Sasuke's hand on his arm. He turns back, frowning in confusion as he looks down at the boy. "Is something wrong, Sasuke?"

Sasuke shakes his head and smiles, looking a bit embarrassed which only worked to further confuse Kakashi. "No, I just thought of something I'd meant to ask you yesterday before... Well, before everything that happened."

Kakashi relaxes, relieved that it wasn't something bad being handed to him again. He frowns at himself as he thinks about his reaction, realizing that he was tense even when he thought he was relaxed, waiting for the next crisis. Shaking the negativity aside, he smiles down at Sasuke, distracting himself with a pair of soulful black eyes. "And that would be?"

Sasuke shifts his weight from one foot to the other, clearly embarrassed "Yesterday..." Pausing, Sasuke clears his throat, then tries again. "Yesterday when I woke up, I was naked and you were only sleeping in your boxers. Why?"

Kakashi grins in spite of himself, and even seeing Sasuke tense, he couldn't make the grin go away. "You walked miles through the beginnings of a blizzard to get here, your clothes were soaked. I guess you were a little too stressed to notice that. When I held you, I noticed in the back of my head, but I was just as distracted as you were. When we went to my room, you were asleep before you could even finish undressing yourself. Not doing much better myself, I managed to finish peeling your wet clothes off and tuck you into the bed before I finished undressing myself. Even exhausted as I was, I knew sleeping naked next to you wasn't such a good idea, so I left my boxers on, but I was too tired to go through the hassle of putting on pajamas."

Watching Sasuke struggle with his embarrassment, Kakashi says nothing and even manages to push away his grin. When Sasuke replies, Kakashi is so surprised he can only stand staring at the boy, his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. "So, you do want me, huh? Even exhausted and with me asleep, you were willing to molest me. You really are a pervert."

Catching sight of the look on Kakashi's face, Sasuke bursts out laughing. He laughs until tears are streaking down his cheeks, a release the boy had clearly needed. When he's regained control of himself enough to be able to speak, Sasuke giggles, "I'm just teasing, don't look like that."

Grinning now and shaking his head, Kakashi turns and walks out of the kitchen, the sounds of Sasuke's laughter following him down the hall. At one point he thinks he hears the familiar laugh of his cook as well, but decides to ignore it. Stepping into his study, Kakashi locks the door behind him and immediately moves over to his desk and flips up the lamp. Grabbing the phone, he dials a number from memory, all of his amusement and good humour fading under the stress of the situation to come. Going through the steps needed to get himself to the man he wanted to talk to, Kakashi hunches his shoulders as more and more tension pulls at him. When the voice he'd been waiting for finally comes on the line, Kakashi takes a deep breath and says grimly, "Stan, I'm going to need your help."

* * *

**AN:** Time to heap on the apologies. I'm sorry it took me so long to get this chapter written and posted. First I was distracted by a challenge I joined on Y!Gallery. I wrote two pieces to get that challenge started. My first crack piece, NejiXKiba which turned out quite funny. (I may post it here after I finish Saving Sasuke, we'll see.) Then a couple of days ago, I wrote my second piece, a lovely bit of SasukeXIruka smut. My first time doing that pairing and I enjoyed the story so much, there will probably be more. Don't think I'll post that one here though. ;) I really need to make an account for my smut pieces. lol

Anyway, all of that writing has had an adverse effect on my body that I'm sadly used to. My right wrist began hurting quite a bit, than as I was doing laundry a couple of nights ago it just gave out completely and I was in pain. Typing while in pain and wearing a wrist brace is difficult to say the least. So, I took a day off from writing (that was hard because I really wanted to work in this chapter.) then did a short writing session yesterday morning that got the first half of this chapter. I got the oter half this morning. The pain had moved from the right wrist to the left. As I'm typing this, both are hurting and I'm going to have to brace them again. *sigh*

So, what does this mean? Well, even though the next chapter in my head is strong and really wanting to be written, it's likely to be a few days. Sorry folks, but until my wrists decide to start behaving my writing is going to slow way down. It'll take me at least 2 days to write a chapter with a day off in between chapters. Hopefully, this will be short-lived, as it sometimes is. I promise I'll get the chapters written and posted as quickly as I can comfortably. And thank you for your patience. :)


	22. Chapter 22

When Sasuke walked back into Naruto's room a couple of hours later, he wasn't at all surprised to find his friend exactly as he'd left him. Sasuke walks over to stand next to the bed, peering down at Naruto with his head tipped to one side. Shaking his head, Sasuke walks around the bed to pick up the chair and move it to the other side of the bed so that he could sit next to Naruto. He wanted to be the first thing Naruto saw when he finally woke up. Dropping down to sit on the chair, Sasuke finds himself having to stifle a yawn, suddenly tired because of the full stomach. Leaning his head against the back of the chair, Sasuke forces himself to concentrate on Naruto to keep himself awake. A soft knock on the door jerks Sasuke upright in the chair. He curses softly, realizing that he'd dozed off, then checks on Naruto before getting up and moving quickly to the door.

Pulling the door open, Sasuke blinks at the book suddenly shoved into his face. Reaching out automatically, Sasuke takes the book, then glances at the person standing here, holding a tray in her hands. "What's this?"

The cook smiles at Sasuke and reaches out to ruffle his hair, making him feel like a kid and giving him a vague sense of pleasure. "I was on my way to bring some food for Naruto, in case he wakes up, and I ran into Kakashi on his way here as well. He asked me to bring you the book. He said you might need something to occupy your time because there was a pretty good chance that Naruto was going to sleep for a while if the amount of time you slept was any indication."

Sasuke smiles as he thinks about this. Kakashi was right of course, Sasuke had slept for a day and a half when he'd actually gotten the chance, but Naruto had gone longer without sleep than Sasuke had, because Sasuke knew Naruto well enough to know that his friend hadn't slept after he'd woken in the motel room to find Sasuke gone. Since Sasuke had every intention of staying at Naruto's side until he woke up, he was going to need something to do. He was glad Kakashi had the presence of mind that Sasuke seemed to be lacking at that moment. Half turning, Sasuke tosses the book back to the chair he'd been sitting in, then turns his attention back to the portly woman at the door. "That's a good idea. If there's food here, I won't have to leave Naruto to go get him something to eat. He and I need to have a serious talk as soon as he's awake too."

The older woman chuckles and Sasuke feels himself blushing, but he isn't sure why. Rather than speak he reaches out and takes the tray of food and moves into the room to set it carefully on the table that had been put in Naruto's room when he'd take to spending more and more time in his room and away from everyone else after they'd first moved in. When he turns back around, he finds the cook still standing in the doorway, staring across the room at Naruto, concern lining her face and making her look even older. Without having to think about it, Sasuke moves back across the room and hugs the older man, trying to offer comfort. "He'll be ok, Ms Mimi."

Sasuke feels the woman's arms slide around him and tenses in spite of himself, knowing what was coming next. When she crushes him against her chest, Sasuke closes his eyes and lets the woman hug him, barely hearing her soft reply. "Yes, he's a strong boy."

Sasuke steps back as soon as she lets him go, and as she turns to leave Sasuke calls out her name softly, stopping her and turning her back to face him. "Tell Kakashi I said thanks for the book."

The cook just smiles and nods, then heads back down the hall. Sasuke closes the door and walks back over to the chair and picks up the book. As he sits down, he peers at the title through the dim light let in by the curtains. He frowns for a moment, then realizes it was a title he'd mentioned to Kakashi after their first date when they'd sat for hours talking about just about everything. Smiling warmly, Sasuke reaches out at flips on the small bedside lamp, turning it so that the light shone on the book, very little of it reaching Naruto's sleeping form, though Sasuke doubted that even if he'd shined the light directly into the sleeping boy's eyes that he'd have woke. Curling his legs under him, Sasuke settles into the chair and flips the book open, beginning to read.

When the next soft knock comes at Naruto's door, Sasuke frowns and closes the book, setting it aside. Taking a quick glance at the bedside clock, he pushes to his feet and moves quickly across the room to the door. It was too early for the cook to be coming again to make him come down for lunch. Rather than assuming it was Kakashi there to check on him or Naruto, Sasuke's mind automatically feeds him ideas that bordered on the paranoid. By the time he reaches the door, he's positive that he was going to open the door and find the entire police force waiting on the other side of the door to arrest Naruto, and himself for helping Naruto hide. Frowning at the idea, and unable to shake his paranoid certainty, Sasuke unlocks the door and opens it just far enough to peek through a minuscule crack. Seeing one man, not several hundred, waiting in the hallway, Sasuke frowns and pulls the door open, stepping into the doorway, momentarily confused as that paranoid certainty tries to hold on.

"Sasuke? Is something wrong?"

Sasuke shakes his head, finally able to clear that strange fear, then looks up at Kakashi and smiles weakly, surprised but grateful to not feel his cheeks heating up with his embarrassment "No, nothing wrong. I guess I was so engrossed in that book you sent me that I forgot to pay attention to myself. I'm a bit tired and it's playing with my head."

Kakashi frowns, and Sasuke could see what he was thinking clearly enough in his eyes, but he was unwilling to share his strange reaction to the knock with the older man. When Sasuke doesn't say anything further, Kakashi just nods and holds out his hand. "Well, maybe you should try to get a nap in before Naruto wakes up then. Here, maybe this will help."

Sasuke glances down at the hand that was held out to him and smiles when he sees that Kakashi was holding his MP3 player. Taking it, Sasuke shoves it into his pocket then looks up at Kakashi smiling. "Thanks. You're right, I should probably try to sleep. I don't know what Naruto is going to be like when he wakes up, and I'll need to be at my best."

Saying nothing further, Kakashi turns and walks away down the hall. Sasuke watches the older man go until he stops at the top of the stairs and turns to wave at him before disappearing down the stairs. Sasuke slips back into Naruto's room, closes and locks the door behind him, then walks back over to the chair he'd been sitting in. He glances at the book he'd set aside, considering briefly settling in to read for a while longer. Shaking his head, Sasuke yawns widely, then reaches out and turns the bedside light off. Pulling the MP3 player from his pocket, Sasuke moves around to the other side of the bed. Stretching out beside his best friend, Sasuke pokes the earbuds into his ears and hits the power button on his player. Closing his eyes, Sasuke settles himself and begins to relax as he waits for his music to start.

When the music starts, Sasuke frowns and his eyes pop open again. Not recognizing the music that fills his ears, Sasuke lifts the small blue player in front of his eyes and presses a button to light up the screen so he can see the name of the song. Frowning still, Sasuke murmurs the name of the song to himself, "Crash & Burn." Shaking his head, he lowers the MP3 player again and closes his eyes again, knowing that Kakashi must have put the song on the player before he brought it to him. Figuring the older man had a reason for wanting Sasuke to hear this particular song, he settles in to listen intently to it, sleep the last thing on his mind at that moment. As the lyrics fill his mind, certain words fill his heart until Sasuke feels a smile curl across his lips and a single tear slide down his cheek. Pushing himself to a sitting position, Sasuke slides over to sit on the edge of the bed, head hanging as he listens to the song. When the song ends he doesn't move, only sits there and lets it play through a second time, then a third.

Without conscious though, Sasuke jumps up from the bed and hurries across the room. Singing the chorus as he unlocks the door and pulls it door open, hurrying into the hall. "Let me be the one you call. If you jump, I'll break your fall. Lift you up and fly away with you into the night. If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash then crash and burn, you're not alone."

Until he sees Kakashi standing across the hall, leaning against the wall and watching him, Sasuke doesn't know what he means to do. Seeing Kakashi standing there, clearly waiting for him, Sasuke knows that he'd been about to go in search of the older man. His singing stops abruptly as he stands looking at Kakashi across the hall, feeling his heart warming and filling with love. Tugging the earbuds from his ears, Sasuke lets the player dangle from his hand, then slowly lower to the floor. Shaking his head he hurries across the hall and throws his arms around Kakashi, pressing his face against the older man's shoulder. When Kakashi's arms slide around him, Sasuke takes a deep shaking breath and feels a tension he hadn't noticed drain out of him, leaving him light and happy but very tired.

"I'm here for you Sasuke, you're not in this alone. We'll both get Naruto through this."

Sasuke can only nod at first as a lump rises in hie throat. Holding tighter to Kakashi, Sasuke swallows hard, forcing the lump down far enough to allow him to speak. "Thank you, Kakashi." Lifting his head, he looks up at the silver haired man and frowns slightly before he continues. "But, how did you know I needed that? I didn't even know I needed it until just now."

Kakashi smiles and tilts his head as he looks down at Sasuke. "Because I can see the tiredness and the pain in your eyes. Because I've been a firsthand witness to how you've been acting since this all started." He pauses and slowly his smile turns into a grin before he continues. "And because someone I trust greatly told me that you probably needed to be reminded that you're not alone."

Sasuke can't help but smile back at Kakashi as he shakes his head slowly. Drawing a deep breath, Sasuke allows himself a few minutes to enjoy to absence of tension. Opening his eyes again, he looks up at Kakashi again, frowning slightly. "Who was it?"

"Who was what?"

"The one that told you what I needed."

"The man that helped me through the death of my father."

Sasuke frowns as he considers this, then frowns harder when he realizes what Kakashi must have meant. "You mean a shrink? You went to a shrink?"

Kakashi smiles faintly at Sasuke, then nods slightly. "The loss of a parent is never easy on any kid. I took my father's death especially hard because of the way in which it came and the events that preceded it. I couldn't handle it on my own."

Sasuke considers this answer for a few moments then shakes his head. "I thought only crazy people went to shrinks."

Kakashi laughs and tightens his arms around Sasuke again briefly "No, not always. Though, I'm sure I wasn't perfectly sane when I first went to see Dr Tamura."

With a jolt of realization, Sasuke pulls back and frowns harder than ever at Kakashi, looking at him closely, trying to find something that he'd missed. "Are you ok?"

Kakashi blinks, clearly surprised by this question, but answers readily enough. "As well as any of us in this family are, why?"

"Well, you're talking to a shrink. I thought maybe you were... I don't know. I thought maybe something was wrong that you weren't telling me."

Kakashi smiles and draws Sasuke back into his arms, hugging him tightly again. "No, I'm fine. I called him for Naruto. And for you."

Sasuke stiffens instantly and he feels Kakashi go perfectly still, though his arms don't loosen around him by even a fraction. "For me?"

Kakashi nods, then slowly lets go of Sasuke. "Yes, for you. I can only help you so much with your past. I'm not trained to help you navigate through the pain of your past, and you do need help."

Sasuke frowns and takes a step back. "What makes you think I need help?"

"Experience."

Sasuke frowns harder and crosses his arms over his chest, shoulders slumping. "Experience? What experience? Your family wasn't killed by your crazy brother. You didn't grow up on the streets."

Kakashi shakes his head. "No, I didn't. But, I was once a young gay man trying to deal with the pain of losing my father and the life I'd always known as well as learning who I was. Realizing you're gay is a pretty big shock to a lot of men, especially with the way society frowns on it. When you don't have that male role model that your father would have been in your life, it makes it even harder."

Sasuke lowers his head and thinks about this. After a few moments he feels the fight drain out of him. Sighing he lifts his head and looks up at Kakashi again. "I'm not crazy you know."

Kakashi smiles and shakes his head again. "No more than the rest of us. But be honest with yourself Sasuke, wouldn't all of this be easier if you had someone to talk to that could help you untangle that knot of emotion and pain that is your childhood?"

Sasuke thinks about this for several minutes until he finally has to admit silently to himself that Kakashi was right. Smiling faintly, Sasuke sighs, knowing that Kakashi was usually right. Looking up at the older man again, Sasuke shakes his head and steps back into his arms. He holds on to Kakashi for several minutes in the silent hallway, accepting the offered comfort and love. Pulling back with some reluctance, Sasuke moves back across the hall to Naruto's bedroom door then reaches down and picks up his MP3 player.

"Sasuke?"

Glancing back over his shoulder, hand on the doorknob, Sasuke smiles at Kakashi. "Yes?"

"He's coming in the morning to talk to Naruto if he's awake. And to talk to you if you're ready to talk."

Sasuke considers this for a moment, then nods and opens the door and steps into the room. Just before he closes the door, he glances at Kakashi one last time and says quietly, "Thank you, Kakashi."

* * *

**AN:** Couple of things I need to say, then I'll let you get back to your lives. ;)

First off, I'm sorry this took so long to be posted. My wrists turned out not to be the problem. It was a much different pain that kept me away from the laptop completely for several days. I wrote the first half of this chapter Monday until I had to take some pain pills and lay back down. I just managed to get back to it today.

Second, I'd like to point out that I am SO not a gay male, so I don't know squat about that, but humour me for the sake of this story. What Kakashi said works for this story, so even if it's not true (about it being harder on gay boys to grow up without a dad) let's pretend it is. ;) It's true for this story, ok? :p

Oh, and I once again give 2 thumbs up to the song mentioned and quoted in this chapter. It was actually the song that inspired this whole chapter. Anyone that's ever heard it, are you surprised? lol (Look it up on YouTube if you haven't. "Crash & Burn" by Savage Garden. It's a good song. Besides, it'll help you understand the way Sasuke was feeling as he listened to it.)


	23. Chapter 23

Kakashi was tired as he sat behind his desk, waiting for the arrival of Stan Tamura. His thoughts were only for Sasuke however. Sasuke had emerged from Naruto's room once the night before to let everyone know that Naruto had woke up, and Sasuke had even managed to get him to eat something, but when it came to talking, Naruto would only shake his head. Frustrated, Sasuke had left his best friend's room and sought out others to allow him to vent his frustration. It was Kakashi that sat and listened as the boy released his emotion that he didn't dare let slip in front of Naruto. Seeing the pain in Sasuke's eyes as he'd trudged back to Naruto's room had made Kakashi's heart ache, but he'd let the boy go. He'd stopped by Naruto's room on his way to bed that evening and was surprised to find that both boys were still awake. Kakashi had stood in Naruto's doorway watching the silent boy as Sasuke slipped off to his own room to change into pajamas. Kakashi had wanted to ask Naruto what he was hiding, because he could tell Naruto was hiding something, but the look in the younger male's eyes made him think better of asking. Kakashi knew that Naruto would speak his mind when he felt the time was right to do so.

When Kakashi went to bed, he didn't sleep. Laying on his back, he stared at the ceiling all night, only realizing just before dawn that the reason he wasn't sleeping was because he missed having Sasuke pressed against him, held tightly in his arms as they slept. Amused by how quickly he'd grown attached to the boy and grown used to having him sleeping next to him, Kakashi had slipped out of his bed and started his day. He'd gone straight to his study and locked himself in, feeling only the slightly twinge of guilt when Ms Mimi came to try and chase him out of his thoughts and into the kitchen. Kakashi had no appetite, and no desire to be around the other members of his odd, extended family, so he just kept himself locked away, waiting.

It was late in the morning when the knock he'd been waiting for came. Pushing away from his desk, Kakashi hurried across the room and unlocked the door, pulling it open to the familiar smiling face on the other side. Shaking his head and sighing as he felt the tension he'd been ignoring settle more firmly on his shoulders, Kakashi motions the older man into the room and closes the door behind him. "Good to see you, Stan. How've you been?"

"Oh, I'm well enough, thank you. I'd ask how you're doing, but I can see that answer myself. Is it that bad?"

Kakashi smiles ruefully and shakes his head before moving to sit on the couch on the left side of the room. When the doctor settles on the other end of the couch, Kakashi finally answers. "I don't think it is, I'm just worried about Sasuke. I'm not sure how much longer he can hold on, but he's unwilling to let go. Naruto woke up last night, but he won't talk. Sasuke said it's not the same apathetic silence he was giving when they were on the run, but the effect is the same. Sasuke has questions and Naruto isn't offering any answers. He left Naruto alone only once last night to come find someone to talk to. Naruto had him half crazy with frustration. When he first walked into my study, I wasn't sure if he was going to scream or cry, or maybe some combination of both."

"Well, both are certainly healthy and effective ways of relieving stress."

Kakashi smiles and nods absently. "Yes, I remember. I did quite a bit of both after my father killed himself."

The older man leans forward slightly, lifting a hand to nudge his glasses more firmly into place on his nose before he speaks again. "And have you since Sasuke came to you with his frustrations last night?"

Kakashi frowns and shakes his head, momentarily confused. "No, why would I?"

"Because you clearly need to. Am I right?"

Kakashi snuggles back into the leather of the couch and frowns, thinking about the question and letting himself really notice the way he felt. Frowning, Kakashi looks up at his former doctor. "I hadn't realized."

Shaking his head, Dr Tamura smiles at Kakashi. "Of course you didn't. You're too busy worrying about Sasuke to worry about yourself. I thought we'd gotten you past that, Kakashi. I thought you knew better than to focus exclusively on another person, no matter who that person was, while neglecting your own needs."

Exasperated, Kakashi sighs and lifts his hands, half reaching for the doctor, beseeching him to understand. "But, this is different. Sasuke needs someone, and if it's not me, who is it going to be?"

Dr Tamura smiles and leans back against the couch. "Himself, of course."

Kakashi frowns and opens his mouth to object, then stops and considers the answer. Frowning he shakes his head. "I'm enabling him, aren't I?"

The older man shrugs and smiles warmly at Kakashi, putting him instantly at ease. "I don't know, I'd have to talk to Sasuke first, but I'm guessing you probably are."

Kakashi frowns harder, hunching his shoulders, almost defensive. "I just want to help him, he's been through so much."

"I don't doubt that in the least. And likely you have helped him considerably, but you're too close. You love him. He loves you. That love is always going to be in between anything that happens between the two of you. It's going to blur things to the point that you're not going to be as effective as you'd like. You can't see everything that you need to see to be able to help him through it."

Sighing, Kakashi rubs his eyes, suddenly more tired than he'd ever been in his life. "I feel like an idiot."

"Don't, you have no reason to. You did the right thing, Kakashi. You did what he needed and what you needed. But, you've gone as far as you can with this. Let me take it the rest of the way."

Kakashi smiles and nods. "If he'll let you, I'll gladly hand you the reigns."

"You don't think he'll talk to me?"

Kakashi thinks about the question seriously before he replies. "To be honest, I'm not so sure he'll talk about everything he needs to work through. He's spent so much of his life keeping everyone at a safe distance that he doesn't like to talk about anything of any real importance. He doesn't like to give anyone that kind of power over him."

"That doesn't surprise me. Although, you might have gotten him far enough in his healing that he's more likely to allow himself to open up. Does he know who I am to you?"

Kakashi nods and smiles again. "Yes, I told him yesterday not long after we talked. I'm hoping that the fact that I trust you will be enough to allow him to trust you."

"Well, it might be enough to get my foot in the door, but when it comes to his past, Sasuke's going to need more than that."

Kakashi sighs and shakes his head. "Yeah, you're probably right. I wasn't thinking about it like that."

Dar Tamura smiles and leans over, patting Kakashi's hand where it laid on the back of the couch between them. "It's ok Kakashi, that's not your job, it's mine. I'll take care of all of this, you just be there for Sasuke when he needs you."

Kakashi smiles and nods again, pushing to his feet. "That I can certainly do!"

The older man stands up and glances at his watch. "Are the boys awake yet?"

"I imagine Sasuke is awake by now, but I don't know about Naruto. I've been in here since I got up this morning. I was feeling a bit antisocial after a night of no sleep."

"You had trouble sleeping last night? Thinking too much again?"

Kakashi grins and shakes his head. "Empty bed. Sasuke's been sleeping in my bed with me lately, and I guess I got used to him being there, and when he wasn't, I couldn't sleep."

With a chuckle, the doctor turns and walks over to the study door, Kakashi right behind him. "Sounds to me like you're as dependent on him as he's allowed himself to become on you."

Kakashi grins wider. "More like I'm in love."

Grinning back, Dr Tamura nods and steps back to allow Kakashi to open the door and lead the way to Naruto's room. "That too."

Both men are silent as they walk through the hall to the stairs to the second floor. When they start up the stairs Dr Tamura breaks the comfortable silence. "Kakashi?"

Kakashi stops in the middle of the stairs and looks back over his shoulder. "Yes?"

"I didn't just come out here for Naruto and Sasuke you know."

Kakashi nods and smiles. "I know that. I was already thinking about making an appointment with you once all of this has settled down."

"If you wait for your life to settle down--"

"I'll never come see you," Kakashi finishes for him. "I know that. But to be perfectly honest, I don't want to leave Sasuke alone right now."

"You've got to trust that he's not going to go anywhere Kakashi. He's not the only one that needs to work on trust. I figured this would come up with you again once you found someone to love."

Kakashi blinks as he considers what he's being told then sighs and nods. "You're right. I'll call first thing Monday and make an appointment. I don't want to mess anything up with Sasuke before it's even had a chance to start."

"You're not doing this for Sasuke."

"Not completely, no. But he is the major driving factor in my life right now."

"You need to build your own life and just make him a part of it. You can't make him your life, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiles ruefully again. "Yes, I know, but I think it's too late for that."

Shaking his head, the older man motions Kakashi onwards, following behind before he replies. "We'll discuss this when you come in."


	24. Chapter 24

While Dr Tamura talked with Naruto, Kakashi took Sasuke down to his study. Sasuke wasn't happy about leaving his friend alone, feeling like he was somehow betraying him again, but one look at Kakashi had convinced him that he was doing the right thing. Kakashi sat on the couch watching as Sasuke paced the room, never saying a word. Sasuke's mind was a whirl of thought and emotion, but each time he looked at Kakashi he felt himself calm again. When pacing brought him no more satisfaction, Sasuke sat on the floor, leaning back against Kakashi's desk and staring at the clock on the wall. An hour passed, then two and it felt like days to Sasuke. When the doctor finally came down to Kakashi's study, Sasuke was nearly half mad with tension and an odd, uncertain fear.

"How's Naruto?"

Sasuke was shocked by how calm his voice sounded, very nearly missing the doctors answer in his surprise. "About as well as can be expected under the circumstances. He's been under quite a bit of stress for a long time now."

"So, he actually talked to you? I couldn't get him to do anything more than look at me and shake his head. Why won't he talk to me?"

"Likely because he's got a lot going on inside of him right now that he needs time to work through, just like you do Sasuke. Naruto is going to be fine, I promise. You need to worry about yourself for now."

Sasuke frowns and pushes to his feet, shaking his head. "Me? I don't care about me, Naruto nee--"

"No, he doesn't," the doctor interrupts. The older man waits for Sasuke to look at him before he elaborates. "Naruto is stronger than you're giving him credit for. Once he got himself out of the guilt he was drowning in, he was well on the road to getting back to the person you once knew."

"What are you talking about?"

"Naruto needed something to shake him out of that guilt that he was drowning himself in. I'm sure you tried, but you couldn't reach him. Not completely. He was too isolated by his own fear, anger and guilt. Likely it was Roger's health scare that finally broke through that wall of emotion he'd built around himself. He'd already begun coming back to himself before he ever came back here."

"Then why won't he talk to me?"

"I told you, there are things going on with Naruto right now that he needs to work out for himself. He doesn't want you to worry about him, and he doesn't want to hurt you, so he felt it would be better if he just kept everything to himself until he could work it all out. When he's ready to talk about it, you'll be the first one he comes to Sasuke."

Sasuke sighs in frustration and begins to pace again. "I don't understand why he won't let me help him. I've been there for him through this whole mess, and I'm still there."

"That's why he won't let you help him."

"Damnit! Stop talking in circles!"

"Sasuke, just think about it. Think about everything that's happened since he told you what he thought he'd done. Think about everything you've gone through just to help him." Dr Tamura pauses, letting Sasuke think for a few minutes before he continues. "Now think about Naruto. How do you think he feels knowing he's put you through all of that?"

Sasuke curses softly and glances at Kakashi, remembering for the first time that the man was in the room. Kakashi only smiled pleasantly at him, his eyes and his expression giving away nothing that he was thinking. Sasuke feels himself wanting to grow angry with that look. Frowning, he shakes his head and looks away from Kakashi, pushing that anger aside. Turning his attention back to the doctor, Sasuke sighs. "I imagine he feels guilty. Naruto has always tried to protect me just as much as I've always tried to protect him."

Dr Tamura lifts his hands and smiles at Sasuke, saying nothing for several minutes. When he speaks again, he speaks softly, carefully. "Naruto needs to work out a few things for himself, and he knows there are some things you need to work on for yourself as well."

Sasuke frowns and crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back slightly. "What do you mean?"

"This can't have been easy on you, Sasuke. Especially not with your past. There's been so much death in your life--"

"No!" Sasuke shouts, cutting the man off. He lifts his hands in front of himself as if that were enough to ward off what was being said. "No, I don't want to talk about that. That has nothing to do with this situation."

"Sasuke," Kakashi begins carefully.

"No, damnit! This hasn't got anything to do with what Itachi did!"

"Remember what you told me the night you came back here to pack you and Naruto's things? Do you remember what we talked about, what you said?"

Sasuke stares at Kakashi and blinks. He takes a deep, shaking breath and starts to speak, then stops. He looks between Kakashi and the doctor, then shakes his head and turns for the door. Pulling it open he mutters, "I need a cigarette" and hurries from the room before either man can stop him.

By the time Sasuke reaches his bedroom door, he's running and panting raggedly on the verge of sobbing. Throwing the door open, he hurries into the room and rummages through his things until he finds a pack of cigarettes. He shakes one out of the pack and has a flash of memory, Kakashi telling him that he wasn't going to watch Sasuke slowly kill himself with cigarettes. He pauses for a moment, then pulls the cigarette from the pack with a shaking hand and sticks it in his mouth. He fumbles with the lighter in shaking hands, but finally manages to get the cigarette lit. He takes a deep pull, holding the smoke in his lungs until his body begins to scream for oxygen, then lets it out in a great whoosh. When he draws his next breath it's shaking worse than before. Hearing how shaky he was pushes Sasuke over the edge and a hot tear rolls down his cheek and Sasuke sobs once, sinking to the floor.

Dr Tamura finds him kneeling in the floor next to his bed, forgotten cigarette burning down in his hand a couple of minutes later. When Sasuke hears his door close, he knows who it is before he even turns around to look. Glancing around absently, Sasuke grabs the ashtray from the bedside table and crushes the cigarette out with an over-abundance of anger. Giving himself at least that small it of satisfaction. Wiping at the tears on his face, Sasuke climbs to his feet and turns around to sit on the edge of his bed. Rather than look at the doctor though, Sasuke turns and looks at the pictures on the bedside table. With a shaking hand he reaches out and picks up the last picture taken of his family, just a couple of weeks before they were all taken from him.

"So much of my life seems to be about what happened back then. Try as I might, I can't forget it and it's ruining my life."

"You're never going to forget it Sasuke."

Sasuke looks sharply at the older man, then wipes at a stray tear as he looks back down at the picture. "I want to forget, remembering hurts."

"Forgetting would hurt even more. Maybe not in the same way, but it would hurt. Your attempts to forget is what's causing you so much trouble now."

"But what good is remembering going to do?"

"It can remind you that you're still alive."

Sasuke laughs mirthlessly and shakes his head. "Sometimes I don't want to still be alive."

"What do you do at the times you feel like that?"

Sasuke frowns and thinks about the question. "Well, I used to go off by myself. I never had the guts to just kill myself. Partly because I didn't want to leave Naruto alone, but mostly because I felt like it would be a betrayal of my family. In the end I'd just sit around feeling sorry for myself for a while, then I'd go back to my life."

"You said you 'used to' go off alone. What do you do now?"

Sasuke smiles faintly then draws his legs up, wrapping his arms around them, still holding the picture where he can look at it. "I've only felt that way once since I met Kakashi. I crawled into his bed and waited for him to come back to me."

"When was that?"

"The night he was out looking for Naruto. Or, rather, when he was with Roger in the hospital. We'd had a fight that morning. I wanted to go with him to look for Naruto but he didn't want me to go with him. I locked myself in my room here and refused to talk to anyone. I was so mad. I didn't want him to protect me."

"Why not?"

Sasuke frowns and hunches his shoulders, staring harder at the picture. "Because Itachi used to protect me before... before he went nuts and killed everyone. Then Naruto protected me."

"You loved them both and they loved you as well. Kakashi loves you, so why not let him protect you?"

"Because everyone that loves me and protects me seems to wind up going nuts and killing someone."

Sasuke pauses and thinks about what he'd just said, realizing how stupid it sounded, but he knew that it was truly how he felt. Shaking his head, he moves past his realization and goes back to the story he'd been telling. "Once I calmed down, I felt so guilty for having acted the way I had to Kakashi. I knew he loved me, and I love him. I went into autopilot after that. I ate some food Ms Mimi had left for me, then took the tray back down to the kitchen. I was still filled with guilt, and I missed Kakashi. I went to his study, I guess to be close to him in some way. I realized that I'd made a promise to him that I never kept."

"What promise?"

"We'd danced in his study once. Around the time I was starting to realize just how much he meant to me. Naruto came home and walked in in the middle of the dance. He was having trouble with how close Kakashi and I were getting, so I felt bad when he ran off. I went after him, but I promised Kakashi that I would come back so we could finish our dance. I never went back, but we made plans later to have our next dance some other time. That time never came though because it was shortly after that that everything with Naruto happened. So, I went to his computer and found a song I'd heard him play before that fit my mood at that moment and downloaded it to my MP3 player, then went onto the internet to find the perfect song for that dance that we still hadn't had."

"What happened after that?"

Sasuke jumps and looks up, having forgotten for a moment that the doctor was there as he'd been lost in his own thoughts. "I went up to his room and put on a pair of his pajamas. Well, I put on the top, the bottoms wouldn't fit me because he's bigger than I am. I crawled into his bed with my MP3 player on repeat and went to sleep waiting for him to come back to me. I was feeling so badly that for the first time since I'd met him I actually had my old feelings of wanting to be dead, to be with the rest of my family."

"You felt that way just because you two had fought?"

Sasuke shakes his head and tightens his arms around his legs before he replies. "No, it wasn't the first time we'd argued, and it's likely not the last. But, I felt so bad because of the way I'd acted. And I was thinking about Kakashi wanting to protect me, and what happened with Itachi and Naruto, and it was just all so confusing and frightening. And I think more than that was my fear that I'd been so mean to him that maybe I'd pushed him away and he'd not want me after that. I was scared I was going to lose him too the way I lost Itachi and my family, and the way I'm probably going to lose Naruto if he really did kill that bastard Sanari."

"What made you stop thinking about wanting to die?"

"The song I was listening to started it, but I think it was the first time I woke up and realized that Kakashi was sleeping next to me. I knew then that he'd forgiven me without me even having to ask."

"Did you tell him about how you were feeling?"

Sasuke shakes his head, feeling his face heat as he remembered what he'd done the previous morning. "No, I was too busy being an idiot and trying to fix what I thought I'd ruined. In the back of my head I knew we were going to be ok, but that nagging fear wouldn't let me go, so I tried to seduce him. I thought sex would keep him with me."

"And did it work that way?"

"Hell no! He wouldn't sleep with me. We talked and he explained why he wouldn't and I realized he was right and that I was being stupid. I don't know that I'd have told him about how I'd been feeling even if that hadn't happened."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want him to be scared that I'm going to try to kill myself. I don't want to die. I want to spend the rest of my life with him, but sometimes it's hard."

"What is?"

Sasuke shrugs. "Life. I don't know how to act sometimes. I don't know what to think, what to do."

"Follow your heart, it won't lead you wrong. Think, but try not to over-think. I know that's hard, but initially, that's what you have to learn to do."

Sasuke nods, then sets then picture of his family aside. He sighs and starts to say something then stops and frowns, remembering how he'd just run from Kakashi again. Cursing softly, he jumps out of the bed, then just stands there.

"What is it Sasuke?"

"I just did it again."

"Did what?"

"Treated Kakashi like dirt and ran from him. And for a damn cigarette when he's already told me he doesn't want me to smoke anymore. He doesn't want me to kill myself with cigarettes."

"Kakashi understands, Sasuke. You're going through a rough time right now."

"Yeah, he's an understanding guy, but I still feel kind of bad. I keep doing this to him."

"Would it make you feel better if you could make it up to him?"

"Yeah, it would, but I don't know how I'd do that."

"Don't over-think things Sasuke."

Sasuke frowns, confused for a moment, then clears his mind, letting the answer come to him without force. When it does, he blinks then grins, sliding a hand into his pocket. "I know what I need to do."

Dr Tamura smiles at Sasuke, then nods and stands up. It's only then that Sasuke realizes that his conversation with the doctor had happened in much the same way his conversation with Kakashi in Naruto's room had happened. Shaking his head Sasuke moves across the room and pulls the door open, stopping when the older man speaks from behind him. "One last thing, Sasuke."

Looking back over his shoulder, Sasuke lifts his eyebrows questioningly. "Yes?"

"Kakashi is calling Monday morning to make an appointment to come see me, so I can help me with everything that's going on right now. I think perhaps you need to make an appointment for yourself as well. I think there's a lot more in you that you'd like to get out. And even more that you need to get out."

Sasuke frowns as he considers this, then nods. "You're right, I do. Thank you Dr Tamura, for everything. I'll make that appointment."

Without saying anything further, Sasuke steps out of his room and hurries down the hall, hoping that Kakashi was waiting where Sasuke had left him.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter was written in a flurry last night. My muse wanted it out, and I didn't fight her. It came out much longer than I expcted, but I'm not complaining. When I finished it, she wasn't done, but I was. It was knocking hard on the door to 2 AM, so it was bedtime for me. Because she was so hot to get to the next chapter when I got up this morning rather than edit this chapter, I wrote the next. So, look forward to not one, but two chapters today. At some point I expect to get chapter 26 at least started. We're really close to the end. I think 27 might be the end number. The answers start coming in chapter 26.


	25. Chapter 25

When Sasuke ran from his study, Kakashi just closed his eyes and heaved a soul weary sigh. When he opened his eyes again he found Dr Tamura watching him, amusement in his eyes and a small smile on his face. It was in that moment that Kakashi knew the doctor wasn't done with Sasuke yet, and Kakashi was relieved. When the older man got up and followed after Sasuke a few moments later without saying a word Kakashi nodded and stretched himself out on the couch, waiting and hoping. As time passed and he heard nothing from either man, Kakashi knew that Dr Tamura had managed to breach at least some of Sasuke's walls. When Ms Mimi arrived at his open study door with lunch, Kakashi smiled absently at the woman in thanks, and though he ate the food, he didn't taste it and couldn't remember later what it was he'd eaten.

After an hour of waiting, Kakashi began to pace his study, finding it difficult to sit still and not think, and thinking only made him more agitated. After making several circuits around his desk, Kakashi dropped down in the chair behind the desk and switched his computer on. Closing his eyes for a moment, Kakashi draws a deep breath to settle his racing thoughts. Opening his eyes, he pulls open his music folder meaning to find specific songs to set up a playlist. Hand hovering over the mouse, Kakashi frowns, then gives his head a small shake and leans back in the chair again. Shaking his head again, he reaches out and closes the music folder then turns and slides his MP3 player into its dock and turns it on, letting his music shuffle as it would. He wasn't hearing any of the music, but the sound settled his tumbling thoughts. Moving around the desk, Kakashi went back to the couch and stretched himself out, hands clasped behind his head.

When he hears the door to his study open, Kakashi doesn't open his eyes, just lays there waiting. When his music stops, he feels a smile slide across his face, but still he doesn't move. Listening in the sudden silence, Kakashi hears his MP3 player slid from the dock and then the unmistakable click of another one taking its place. Hearing Sasuke move across the room to stand next to the couch, Kakashi finally opens his eyes to look at the younger man. Seeing how drained Sasuke looked made Kakashi sit up quickly and draw the younger male down onto the couch next to him, sliding his arms around him. Taking a closer look, Kakashi can see the red rimming Sasuke's eyes and he sighs, drawing Sasuke into a hug.

"You ok, Sasuke?"

"Probably better than I've been most of my life. I'm going to set up an appointment with him next week. I think it's past time I dealt with everything. There's so much I need to do."

Kakashi nods and starts to speak, but stops when Sasuke draws himself out of Kakashi's arms and stands up. Frowning, Kakashi looks up into the red rimmed black eyes, then pushes to his feet to stand in front of the younger male. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke shakes his head and smiles. Though Kakashi tries not to notice the sadness around the edges, he feels his heart clench at the sight of that smile. "There's so much I need to do. The first is to keep a promise I made so long ago."

Frowning, Kakashi looks at Sasuke, watching the look on his face slowly change to a much happier one. "What promise?"

Rather than answer the question, Sasuke moves across the room and stops at his MP3 player, now plugged in to Kakashi's MP3 dock. He reaches out and turns it on as he speaks. "I promised that we'd finish our dance, but we never did. I've been too busy running. I wasn't just running to help Naruto, I was running from you because I was scared of what was happening, or what I stupidly thought was going to happen. At the same time I wanted desperately to hold on. It's no wonder I'm half crazy with all of these contradictions inside of me." Pausing, Sasuke glances back over his shoulder and gives Kakashi a lopsided smile that makes his heart skip a beat. "Anyway, while you were gone looking for Naruto I went onto your computer for some music, which I'm sure you know. What I don't know is whether or not you noticed the song I bought. I left it on your computer even after I transfered it to my MP3 player."

Kakashi nods even though Sasuke was no longer looking at him. "I noticed it."

Taking a deep breath, making his shoulder rise and fall, Sasuke reaches out and presses the play button on his player, then moves back across the room and slips into Kakashi's arms again. As they begin to move with the music, Sasuke tilts his head back and looks into Kakashi's eyes, singing along with the song. The frank emotion in his eyes makes Kakashi's breath catch in his throat and his heart skip several beats. Tightening his arms around the smaller man, Kakashi leans down and presses his forehead to Sasuke's, listening to the sound of his voice as they moved. About halfway through the song, Kakashi lifts his head and opens his eyes again, looking down at Sasuke as he picks up the lyrics and begins to sing. "You led me here, then I watched you disappear. You left this emptiness inside and I can't turn back time. No! Stay! Nothing compares to you, nothing compares to you. I can't let you go. Can't let you go. I can't let go!"

Feeling a single tear roll down his cheek, Kakashi closes his eyes for a moment, but his singing never stops. When he opens his eyes again, he sees the tear to match his sliding down Sasuke's cheek. Leaning close, Kakashi stops with his lips only a breath away from Sasuke's so that he sings the last line against Sasuke's lips. They both stop moving when the song ends, but don't pull away. Kakashi closes his eyes and takes that breath, pressing his lips to Sasuke's. The kiss is tender, the faintest caress of lips, yet it leaves both men breathless when Kakashi pulls back, looking down at Sasuke.

"You know the song."

Kakashi smiles and shakes his head. "I looked up the lyrics online when I saw the new addition. I hadn't listened to it until now. I just had a feeling I should wait, because it was clear there was a pretty obvious reason you picked that song to buy. How did you find it anyway?"

Sasuke frowns and shakes his head. "I'm not sure. I came to get a song off your computer and I just decided I needed the right song for me and you. I needed something to make up for all the mistakes I'd made. I liked the other songs you've played for me by Red, so I started with them. I found the song and I knew it was the right one. It's all still a blur really."

Kakashi smiles and nods. Stepping away from Sasuke, he moves across the room and turns the boy's MP3 player off, then leans over his desk, flipping his computer back on and opening his music folder once again. He finds the song he wants immediately and sets it to play. Turning back to face Sasuke, he leans back against his desk and watching the younger male closely as he begins to sing, a small smile playing around the corners of his mouth. "Take me as I am, put your hand in mine now and forever. Darling here I stand, stand before you now, deep inside I always knew. It was you, you and me, two hearts drawn together bound by destiny."

At the look of surprised pleasure on Sasuke's face, Kakashi's breath catches in his throat again and he finds he can't sing any longer. Moving quickly across the short distance that separated them, Kakashi drew Sasuke back into his arms, holding him tightly. When Sasuke's arms slid around him, Kakashi began to move them slowly dancing once again as they both reveled in the joy of just being close at last. It wasn't about the dancing, it was about being in love and being together. When the song ends, they stop moving, but Kakashi just holds Sasuke tighter, unwilling to let him go. When Sasuke speaks, Kakashi pulls back just far enough to look down at him.

"I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Ready to let you take care of me. But only if you promise me one thing first."

"And what's that one thing?"

"You have to promise you'll let me take care of you as well."

Laughing with pure joy, his heart bursting with his happiness and his love for Sasuke, Kakashi draws him back tightly against his chest, this hug just short of clinging. "It's a deal. I love you, Sasuke.

"I love you, Kakashi."

Letting go with some reluctance, Kakashi moves over to sit on the couch, drawing Sasuke down into his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around him once again. He was loathe to let their tender moment go, but he knew that life had to go on. Drawing a deep breath, he kisses Sasuke's temple then tilts his head back to look into his eyes. "Have you talked to Naruto yet?"

Sasuke shakes his head. "After I talked with Dr Tamura, I came straight to you. Naruto will come find me when he's ready to talk."

"You're right about that."

Both men jump and look over at the door that they forgot was still open. Seeing Naruto standing in the doorway, Kakashi feels Sasuke stiffen and he tightens his arms around him, trying to soothe the boy's fears silently. "Naruto, it's good to see you up and about again. How are you feeling?"

Naruto turns his gaze from Sasuke to Kakashi and smiles a bit sheepishly. "Kind of stupid really. I'm sorry I've been so hard to deal with. I'm sorry I put everyone through all this shit. I can't tell you everything, not yet anyway. I want to talk to the police first, but I promise once I've talked to them, I'll tell you everything."

Finding his voice at last, Sasuke asks, "Everything about what?"

"Everything he's hiding from us now."

Sasuke turns and frowns at Kakashi, clearly confused and Kakashi feels a lesson already learned brought that much more clearly to the front for him. "You're too close to Naruto, you don't see him as objectively as I do."

"Kakashi's right. But, we can talk about that later. Right now I wanted to know if anyone wanted to go with me to see Roger, after I have a talk with Sasuke."

Kakashi nods and shifts Sasuke out of his lap, sitting the younger man next to him on the couch. Leaning over, he kisses him lightly, then stands up. "You both talk as long as you like, I'm going to go find Ms Mimi and see if she wants to go. We're going to take the whole family and overrun that hospital."

Smiling at both boys Kakashi walks out of his study to give them their privacy. He pauses in the doorway to put his hand on Naruto's shoulder, giving him a comforting squeeze, then walks past.

* * *

**AN:** At long last, they get to finish their dance. And get another in to boot! ;) This idea was originally supposed to end the story, but it changed too much when Naruto bulled his way into my story and made himself a very big part of the plot. For a while I thought I wasn't going to get to use the idea because I couldn't see how to fit it in the story, but, I found the spot! It's a bit shorter than I'd like, but I got everything that needed to be in this chapter in it, so it's all good.

As for the songs, they are "Never Be The Same" by Red and "Will You Still Love Me" by Chicago. Both awesome and perfect for this scene. This scene was originally thought of a built around the song by Red. The addition of the Chicago song was Kakashi's doing. ;) And it's perfect for me because ever since I started writing fanfics, that song has always been the one song that consistently makes me think of Sasuke and Kakashi. It's the one line... it's so perfect.  
Oh, and I'm sorry that I didn't put a warning at the beginning of the chapter about the extreme sappiness. ;) (Awww! So sweet!)


	26. Chapter 26

Sasuke watches the door close behind Kakashi and feels a momentary flash of fear, followed immediately by a bone deep weariness. He didn't want to fight with Naruto again, but drew himself up, prepared for it. When his gaze settles on his best friend, he doesn't see any fight in Naruto, however. Frowning, Sasuke relaxes slightly as he tries to figure out the look on Naruto's face. Defenses still raised, Sasuke watches Naruto move over to the couch and sit carefully next to him. Realizing that Naruto was tense, waiting for the same fight Sasuke was expecting was enough to allow Sasuke to relax and draw a deep breath.

"What did you want to talk about, Naruto?"

"I wanted to tell you that I'm sorry for everything I've put you through. I don't think I was quite in my right mind, and I had no business dragging you into the middle of this mess."

Sasuke frowns and shakes his head, confused and a little angry. "I know you weren't in your right mind, but I can hardly hold that against you considering what's happened. And what do you mean 'dragging'? You didn't drag me into anything. You're my best friend and you're in trouble, of course I'm going to help you."

Naruto snorts and turns on the couch so he's facing Sasuke. "Bullshit. I guilted you into leaving me even though you didn't want to. If I hadn't gone out of my way to make you feel guilty, you'd have kept me right here and we'd have told Kakashi what happened. Instead, I let my anger at Sanari loose on you, and I did everything I could to make you feel guilty for falling in love with Kakashi. I thought I was getting over my jealousy of your relationship, but clearly I wasn't."

Stunned, Sasuke can't think of anything to say for several minutes, but Naruto just sits quietly, staring at his hands clasped in his lap. Even turned to face Sasuke, his best friend didn't seem able to look at him. Shaking his head, Sasuke reaches out and places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "No one expects you to be perfect, Naruto. We all make mistakes from time to time. Remind me some time to tell you about some of the damn stupid mistakes I've made recently." Feeling the heat climbing his cheeks, Sasuke hurries on, not wanting to dwell on thoughts of any of his mistakes for too long. "Besides, like you said, you weren't exactly in your right mind, not that any of us would expect you to be in that situation."

"Sasuke, you're too easy to forgive and forget."

"What? You want me to just scream and yell and stay mad at you for years?"

"It's no less than I deserve for what I did to you."

Sasuke sighs, exasperated and leans back against the couch, rubbing his eyes then pinching the base of his nose between thumb and forefinger. This wasn't the fight he'd been expecting. "Listen Naruto, I understand why you did what you did. I'm not blaming you, so you need to stop blaming yourself." Sasuke pauses, considering a new idea, then turns his head to look at Naruto, frowning. "Or is it that you can't, or won't, forgive yourself unless I get angry with you about it?"

"It's not that," Naruto sighs. "It's just that I feel guilty for what I did, and the reasons I did it, and if you're not mad at me, that must mean you're not really understanding what I did."

Sasuke frowns, confused now and feeling a headache beginning to build behind his eyes. "I understand what you did, and why you did it."

"No you don't, Sasuke."

Exasperated, Sasuke snaps at Naruto, "Fine, then tell me!"

Finally looking up at him, Naruto draws a deep breath and squares his shoulders resolutely, making Sasuke inexplicably nervous. "I wasn't quite in my right mind when I found you coming out of Kakashi's room that morning. I couldn't remember what had happened, but I remembered clearly enough coming to my senses covered in Sanari's blood and kneeling over him with that knife in my hand. Even with all of that going through my mind, when I saw you come out of his room, and saw how happy you looked, I felt this intense spurt of jealousy. I had thoughts of doing to Kakashi what I'd thought I'd done to Sanari flash through my mind." Naruto nods at the look of horror Sasuke directs at him, then turns his gaze back to his hands clasped in his lap before he continues. "I was so angry about Gaara, then I was angry about what I'd thought had happened between the two of you. I didn't believe you when you told me you didn't have sex with him that night. Even with all that anger, I knew I couldn't kill him. Even with thoughts of having killed Sanari in my head, I couldn't bring myself to kill anyone else. Instead, I turned my mind to twisting you to my will, to making you feel so guilty, feel so badly, that you'd come away from here with me."

Sasuke can only stare at Naruto, stunned and hurt to hear his best friend's confession. Shaking his head in denial, Sasuke pushes up from the couch and paces across the room to the closed door. He reaches out and wraps his hand around the doorknob, but doesn't open the door. "That's not true. You weren't in your right mind Naruto, you're just not remembering correctly, that's all."

"I remember perfectly, Sasuke," came the soft, pain filled reply from behind him.

Sasuke hunches his shoulders and squeezes his eyes closed as that headache behind his eyes turns to a block of ice that slides slowly through his veins until it freezes his heart. "I can't believe you'd do something like that."

"The only defense I can offer is that it's true I wasn't quite sane at that time, but even with that, I don't think I'd have done it if the thought hadn't already been in the back of my head before everything with Gaara and Sanari happened."

Sasuke shakes his head, still trying to deny what Naruto was saying. "Why? Why would you do that Naruto?"

"Because I was jealous. Because I wanted life back the way it was. In that twisted part of my mind that I was using at the time, I think I'd half convinced myself that if I could get you away from Kakashi, if I could get our lives back to what they were before he came along, that everything would be undone. Sanari would be alive and still be the same bullying asshole he'd always been. Gaara would still be alive and trying to dodge his bastard father. It would still be just you and me, together always."

"You weren't worried about going to jail for killing Sanari, you were worried about losing me to Kakashi. You lied to me."

"Oh, I was worried about going to jail for killing Sanari. I was worried about being given the death penalty for killing that asshole. But, the moment I saw you step out of Kakashi's room, that was all pushed to the back of my mind and my worry focused on the idea of losing you. That's when my thoughts twisted the worst. That's when I became convinced that if I got you away from Kakashi, I could get everything back to the way it was. I was out of my damn mind."

Without looking up, Sasuke asks the one question he was afraid to get the answer to, "Did you really kill Sanari?"

Naruto is quiet for so long, Sasuke doesn't think he's going to answer. Shaking his head, he turns the doorknob and starts to pull the door open, but stops when he hears Naruto move up behind him, "I didn't want to talk about that yet, not until I talked to the police about what I remember and what they know."

Feeling the coldness that had numbed his body beginning to warm with the first waves of anger, Sasuke gritted his teeth and jerked the door open. "Fine you son of a bitch, don't answer me. It's not as if you nearly ruined my life and my best chance at love. It's not like you owe me."

Just before he steps out into the hall, Naruto calls out to him. "Sasuke, wait! You're right, I'm sorry. I didn't want to talk about it because I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up, but now I see there's no threat of doing that with you. You finally understand what I did, and you're finally angry, which is much less than I deserve." Naruto pauses to draw a deep breath before finally giving Sasuke the answer he'd come to expect. "No, I didn't kill Sanari. He was dead when I got there. I was so angry that I missed my chance to kill that bastard for everything he'd done to us, and for what he'd done to Gaara, that I grabbed the knife from where it laid on the ground next to him and just stabbed him again and again. That's how I wound up covered in his blood. I don't know if that memory is accurate or not, but it's what I dreamed the night before last. Dr Tamura couldn't say whether or not it was my memory returning, or if it was just wishful thinking on my part. That's why I wanted to talk to the police first."

Sasuke stands there for a minute, letting it all sink in. As the first hot tear slides down his cheek, pushed out by the hurt and anger that was flooding him, Sasuke shakes his head and steps out of Kakashi's study. Each steps he takes he moves a little faster until he's running through the house. He doesn't have a set goal in mind, he only runs as tears roll down his cheeks. Nearly colliding with Kakashi coming down the stairs, Sasuke comes back to himself with a jolt. Looking up into Kakashi's surprised face, Sasuke hears a choked sob slip free. Barely having time to see the surprise melt into concern on Kakashi's face, Sasuke ducks his head and darts past the older man, running from the hurt and the anger, but not having much luck in escaping.

Sasuke stops running when he reaches his room. He slams the door closed behind him, feeling only the slightest satisfaction when it rattles the window across the room. Looking around the room through the blurry haze of tears, his gaze settles on the pictures next to his bed. With a rage filled cry, he dashes across the room and takes up the picture of himself and Naruto and flings it at the door, feeling another, larger spurt of satisfaction as the glass shatters and the frame falls apart. Dropping down onto the bed, Sasuke buries his face in his pillow and screams his hurt and his anger over and over until his voice gives out, then he just lays there and cries silently until sleep claims him.

* * *

**AN:** Wrote this when I first got online this afternoon. It didn't turn out at all like I planned. I didn't know any of this was going to happen until it happened. The only part I knew was that Naruto had the dream that may or may not be a proper memory. (I'm not saying yet. lol) This wasn't supposed to be revealed for a couple of chapters, when Naruto went to the police. But, after his shocking, unexpected confession, he had to tell Sasuke the truth... all of the truth. I'm still stunned.

This chapter was so filled with angst, and I was so deep in the story as I was writing it (which is what happens when I write without knowing what's going to happen until it's actually being written.) that when I finished I was all angsty. I ran from the laptop and spent most of the day playing a game so I could distance myself from the story. (And I sprayed ant poison around the house to help get rid of the anger that comes with angst in me. XD Ant murder! :D) Finally, I get back and get it edited. I'll be starting the next chapter as soon as I eat something. My muse has been driving me (sounding in my head like a very angry Kakashi. .) all day to get to the next chapter. It probably won't be up tonight, but will likely be up first thing tomorrow. :)


	27. Chapter 27

Kakashi blinks and turns to watch Sasuke run up the stairs. Confused and still in a state of shock at Sasuke's unexpected appearance, he can only stand there for several heartbeats, looking after him. Shaking free of his shock, Kakashi finds himself torn between going to check on Sasuke and going to find out what Naruto said that had upset him so much. Of their own volition, his feet begin to move, carrying him up the stairs after Sasuke, his mind having made itself up. Just before he reaches the top of the stairs, Kakashi hears a door slam hard enough that he wonders briefly if Sasuke broke the door frame. Frowning, he stops and looks back down the stairs, torn again, but decides that Sasuke had likely locked himself away in his room, and until he was ready to talk, it wouldn't do Kakashi any good to go to the boy. Decision made, Kakashi turns and hurries back down the stairs, heading for his study and Naruto, determined to have some answers one way or another.

When he reaches his study, Kakashi has worked himself into a dark mood on the verge of anger. He didn't have to probe too deep to know what made him feel that way: Naruto had been the cause of more pain than happiness in Sasuke's life since both boys had moved in with him, and Kakashi was close to the end of his rope with the older of the two boys. Stepping into his study, he's not surprised to find Naruto still there, sitting on the couch, slumped over, with his face buried in his hands. Kakashi takes a deep breath, pushing the budding anger down before carefully closing the door behind him. He walks over to the couch and stops in front of Naruto and stares down at the dejected looking boy, his anger doused in cold water at the obvious pain Naruto was in.

"I suppose you came to find out what I did to Sasuke," came the muffled comment.

Kakashi nods, then crosses his arms over his chest. "Yes, I did."

Sighing, Naruto sits up and looks up at Kakashi, looking so completely broken that Kakashi feels his heart breaking for the boy. "I told him the truth and lost my best friend. The only friend I have left in this world."

"You've got other friends, Naruto. You're part of this family now, same as Sasuke."

Naruto snorts and shakes his head, looking away from Kakashi before he replies. "Maybe not, after you find out what I've done."

Kakashi moves across the room to his desk and sits down on the edge of it before he replies. "Maybe, but I doubt that. Stop beating around the bush and tell me what you did."

"I deliberately tried to ruin Sasuke's relationship with you, to take him away from you."

Kakashi can only blink at first, this answer having been no where on the list of answers he'd expected. "Come again?"

Naruto laughs, a dead, bitter sound that chilled Kakashi to hear coming from someone so young. "That day I came back here after I thought I'd killed Sanari. I deliberately made Sasuke feel guilty about his relationship with you so that he'd leave you and come back to me."

Kakashi waits to feel angry, but when anger doesn't come after several long moments, he just shakes his head. "Why would you do that?"

"At the time I was convinced that if I undid what I helped create, if I got Sasuke back on the streets with me and life went back to the way it was before you came along, that everything would be like it was. Gaara would still be alive. Sanari would still be alive."

Kakashi frowns as he considers this, then shakes his head. "I can understand how your mind would come up with such an idea, considering the state you were in at that time, but I don't think that is what upset Sasuke. What aren't you telling me?"

Naruto lifts his head again and looks bleakly across the room at Kakashi once more. "I told him that even though I wasn't quite in my right mind, at the time I was using every guilt I could come up with to get him to come with me, it wasn't for the reasons I gave him. I didn't want him to run with me because I was afraid of going to jail or being given the death penalty. I was lying to him. Those fears were there at first, but not when I was using them to get him to come with me. I told him I don't think I'd have done that if the idea hadn't already been there somewhere in the back of my head."

Kakashi frowns and lowers his head, staring at the floor in front of his feet as he considers what he's just heard. After several minutes, he lifts his head and looks across the room at Naruto again. "So, what you're saying is that before that morning, you already had the thought in your mind to do everything in your power to get Sasuke away from me."

Naruto only nods at first, then after a few moments he speaks, quietly. "Maybe not in the front of my mind. I didn't walk around actively thinking about getting him away from you, but I did think about it from time to time, and I used to dream a lot about the way things used to be when it was just me and Sasuke."

Kakashi's quiet for a few more minutes, thinking everything through, trying to find the right path that repair all of the damage Naruto's jealousy had caused. "That's why you didn't want to come back here. That's why you didn't want my help. You knew that as soon as Sasuke saw me again, he'd fall in love with me all over again."

Naruto nods, then sighs, looking at the floor between the two of them. "I was actively trying to keep Sasuke away from you. Then as we continued to run I started to feel guilty. Sasuke likely thought it was because I thought I'd killed Sanari, but it wasn't that. Or, not just that. I was feeling guilty for taking him away from you. He was so lost without you, so unhappy. Then, as time went on my motives changed. I wanted to keep him away from you because I knew that if we ever came back, eventually this day would have to come. I'd have to tell him the whole truth about what I'd done."

"Why did you wait this long to tell him? Why didn't you tell him as soon as you realized you'd made a mistake?"

"Because I didn't want to lose him. I knew that if he knew the truth he'd be so mad he'd walk away from me and I couldn't handle that. Not with everything that was going on."

"And you didn't think that waiting would just make it worse?"

"I didn't think about it. Or, I tried not to."

Kakashi is quiet for several minutes, trying to wrap his mind around all the information he had been given. Glancing across the room at Naruto again, Kakashi frowns. "What made you decide to tell him now?"

Naruto stares hard at the floor, and Kakashi begins to think he wasn't going to get an answer, or at least not a complete answer. With a deep sigh, Naruto leans back on the couch and closes his eyes as he speaks. "Because the guilt was eating me alive. Because I can't stand lying to Sasuke. And, because I didn't kill Sanari."

Kakashi frowns harder and shakes his head, leaning over slightly. "Wait a minute. What do you mean you didn't kill Sanari?"

"I mean what I said. I had a dream night before last that feels like a memory to me now. I'm not sure, and Dr Tamura said he couldn't tell without talking to me longer. He said it could very easily have been my guilt manifesting as a dream, because if I didn't kill Sanari, and I did all of this to Sasuke, it was for nothing and that does make me feel even more guilty."

Kakashi leans back again, stunned by the answer. It was the last thing he'd expected Naruto to say. Shaking his head, he clears his mind of preconceived notions and moves on. "What was the dream?"

"I went looking for Sanari, and I wanted to kill him. I had every intention of killing him. That was the last thing I remember. In the dream when I found Sanari he was already dead. I was so far gone in my rage and my desire to kill him that I threw myself on his body, grabbed the knife that was laying next to him and proceeded to stab him again and again to help alleviate some of that rage. That's how I wound up covered in his blood."

Kakashi thinks about this for several minutes, then shakes his head slowly as he sighs. "That could very well be what happened. You'll have to talk to the police to know for sure."

Naruto nods and opens his eyes, finally looking at Kakashi again. "That was my plan. I wasn't going to tell anyone about my dream until after I'd talked to the police, but when I was talking to Sasuke it became apparent that I had to tell him. I know he's going to tell you, so I figured I'd go ahead and let you know now. I'm tired of lying and I'm tired of keeping things from everyone."

"Well, that's commendable Naruto, but it's going to take more than that to fix the mess you've made with Sasuke."

Naruto nods and lowers his gaze to his hands that were clasped so tightly in his lap that his fingers were white. "I know that," he says quietly. "I'm sure I lost my job, but as soon as I can, if I don't go to jail, I'm going to find a new job so I can get my own place and get out of here."

Kakashi frowns at Naruto and shakes his head in confusion. "Why would you do that?"

Naruto glances up and frowns as well. "Because I'm sure after everything I've just told you that you don't want me around here anymore, and I know Sasuke well enough to know he doesn't."

Kakashi shakes his head firmly. "That's my decision to make. I don't think what you did was very nice, but I don't blame you either. We all make mistakes Naruto. The fact that you're trying to make amends for it now is all that matters. As for Sasuke, you let me worry about him. I'll get him to calm down. He loves you, Naruto, he'll come around. You're just going to have to give him time."

Naruto shakes his head and hunches his shoulders, looking anywhere but at Kakashi. "I don't deserve his love."

"Yes you do. And you've got it whether you want it or not. Now stop feeling sorry for yourself. You made some mistakes, learn from them, make amends and move on. Now, go get ready to see Roger, we're all going out to the hospital as soon as I get Sasuke to calm down."

"Kakashi, I'm sorry."

Kakashi nods and pushes away from the desk, moving across the room to the door. He stops just before stepping out into the hall, looking back over his shoulder at Naruto, still slumped on the couch. "I know you are Naruto. And thank you for apologizing. I forgive you, whether you think you deserve it or not."

Without waiting for a reply, Kakashi steps out into the hall and moves quickly to the stairs. He takes the stairs two at a time, then pauses to glance down the hall toward Sasuke's room before stepping off the landing and heading to the door. He stops at the door and lifts his hand to knock, then drops it at his side. He debates for a moment more, then reaches out and tries the doorknob. Finding the door was unlocked, Kakashi feels his eyebrows lift in surprise as he pushes the door open. He glances into the room, and seeing Sasuke stretched out on his bed, Kakashi sighs quietly and slips into the room, closing the door behind him. Moving across the room, Kakashi sits down on the edge of Sasuke's bed and places his hand lightly in the center of his back.

"Sasuke?"

Getting no response, Kakashi figures that Sasuke had fallen asleep. Part of his mind insists that he should leave the boy to sleep and deal with everything he'd just learned, but he knew that he couldn't do that, not after seeing the hurt on Sasuke's face before he'd run past him on the stairs. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi slides his hand up to Sasuke's shoulder and gives it a light squeeze, then shakes him lightly, calling his name again. When the younger male stirs and turns his head to look at him, Kakashi smiles reassuringly. He watches several emotions tumble across Sasuke's face before anger settles there, turning his black eyes impossibly blacker.

"I talked to Naruto, I know what happened."

"I want him out of here!"

Kakashi's eyebrows slide up again at the vehemence of Sasuke's words more than what he'd said. Shaking his head, Kakashi slides his hand back down to the center of Sasuke's back. "You don't mean that, Sasuke. You're just hurt and angry, but you still love Naruto, he's your best friend."

"He's no friend of mine! That little bastard lied to me! He tried to ruin my life! He tried to keep me away from you!"

Kakashi wonders briefly at the rough edge to Sasuke's voice, knowing that it wasn't anger that put it there, but he doesn't dwell on it, concentrating on what he was saying instead. "I know what he did Sasuke, he told me. He apologized to me, and I forgave him."

The look of horror that slowly spreads across Sasuke's face makes Kakashi sigh inwardly. "How could you!?"

Shrugging, Kakashi smiles at Sasuke, trying to calm the boy. "Easy. He made a mistake, and considering the stress he was under in that moment, it's easy to see why. He didn't do it on purpose, or at least, not for the reason you're thinking."

"Bullshit! He deliberately said what he knew it would take to get me away from you!"

Kakashi nods and begins to rub Sasuke's back lightly, trying desperately to clam the boy's anger. "Yes, he did. And he's regretted it for a long time now. He told you the truth so you'd know what he did, so that you could forgive him, and so that we can all move on with our lives."

"Regret? He wanted to break us up! He damn near succeeded!"

"If he didn't regret it, why did he tell you the truth? You didn't know, and you'd never have known if he hadn't told you."

Sasuke scowls and turns his face away, laying his head back on the pillow. "I don't care. I'll never forgive him, and I want him out of here!"

"Well, he's not going anywhere, and sooner or later, you're going to be glad he didn't."

Sasuke jumps up suddenly and slides off the other side of the bed, striding across the room and yanking his closet door open. "Fine! If you won't kick him out, I'm leaving! If you want him, you can have him, but I don't want him in my life anymore."

Kakashi frowns and watches as Sasuke disappears into the closet. Clenching his teeth to bite back frustration, Kakashi rubs at his face and pushes himself up, walking across the room to stand in the closet door. "Sasuke, if you'd let go of your anger for two minutes and just think, you'd see that what Naruto did wasn't as bad as you think. But, since you'd rather act like a spoiled brat, I'll leave you to it. The rest of the family is going to the hospital to see Roger. You sit around here and be as angry and childish as you want."

Turning abruptly, Kakashi strides across the room and tugs the bedroom door open. He pauses to glance back over his shoulder, barely noticing Sasuke's stunned look from the closet door as he says briskly, "I'll give Roger your love and tell him you're not feeling quite yourself today and that you will see him soon," then walks out of the bedroom, closing the door firmly behind him.

* * *

**AN:** Sorry this wasn't up earlier. I was battling a headache most of the day, so I had trouble writing. I got the first half done early, then walked away to let it sit for a while, trying to work out what happened next. I didn't get back to it until late, only to have more trouble with what to write. (Bridging Kakashi's talk with Naruto to his talk with Sasuke was tough on me.)

While the next 2 chapters are strong in my head and ready to be written, this weekend is probably going to be a busy one, and I don't know when or if I'll get much time for writing. I'll do my best however.


	28. Chapter 28

Sasuke stands in the closet doorway, staring at his closed bedroom door. His mind had shut down with the shock of the way he'd just been treated. Slowly, he takes a step out of the closet, and the movement snaps his mind out of the numbing clutches of shock and anger begins to trickle back in. Taking another step he hears a grating crunch. The sound snaps his gaze away from the door, and he looks down, seeing that he was standing in the remains of the picture he'd thrown earlier. Frowning, Sasuke bends down and picks the picture up. Flipping it over, he stares at the image of himself and Naruto, smiling and so happy. Shaking his head, Sasuke walks across the room and sits on the edge of his bed, trying to remember how he felt at that moment, but the pain of Naruto's betrayal was a bitter edge to all emotion now.

Setting the picture aside, Sasuke picks up the picture of himself and Kakashi from the bedside table. Frowning, he stares at Kakashi for several minutes, then lets the picture drop, almost forgotten to his lap as his gaze moves back to the door. He was still angry with Naruto, but he was also beginning to grow angry with himself for acting just as Kakashi had accused him, like a spoiled brat when he didn't get his way. Lifting a hand, Sasuke pushes his fingers through his hair, then unconsciously rubs at the back of his head, a gesture he'd often witnessed Kakashi use when he was embarrassed by something he'd done. Turning his gaze back down, Sasuke stares at the picture of himself and Kakashi, then glances over at the picture of himself and Naruto.

Suddenly unable to remain still, Sasuke sets the picture aside and jumps up from the bed, pacing through the room. After several minutes of pacing does little to relieve the tension and roil of emotion inside of him, Sasuke turns for the door and hurries across the room. He stops with his hand on the doorknob, unsure where he meant to go, but knowing he needed to get out. Glancing back over his shoulder as he pulled the door open, his gaze settles on the picture of his family, and he knows where he wants to go. Where he felt he needed to be in that moment.

Hurrying through the empty house, Sasuke goes to the closest phone and calls for a taxi. The fifteen minute wait passes in a blur of time and yet seems to take an eternity to Sasuke. When the car arrives, he pulls his coat on and steps out into the cold. He glances up at the clouds moving in and sighs, hoping the storm that was coming would hold off, at least for a while, he didn't relish being caught in another snowstorm. Hurrying down to the waiting taxi, Sasuke hunches his shoulders against the cold, and just before he slides into the waiting car, he glances back over his shoulder at the place that had been his home for nearly two months. A cold gust of wind slaps Sasuke in the face and forces him into the warmth of the car. Settling in and closing the door, he absently gives the driver his destination, then crosses his arms over his chest, beginning to work his way through the mess of thought and emotion in his head, trying to decide what he was going to do.

Sasuke is drawn from his thoughts by the quiet music that was coming from the car's speakers. Lifting his head, he listens carefully to the song that was playing, then frowns as a wave of guilt rushes through him, stabbing at his heart. Hunching his shoulders and tightening his crossed arms, Sasuke tries to ignore the song as he continues to sort through the mess his life had become. The song continues to distract him until it finally ends, making Sasuke heave a deep sigh of relief. Glancing out the window at the scenery speeding by, Sasuke tries to judge how much longer it would be before he arrived at his destination. The next song begins to play on the radio and Sasuke forgets about everything but the song. Lowering his head and closing his eyes, he sighs as he listens to the song, feeling more and more guilty with each passing moment. When the car stops, Sasuke's head jerks up and he glances out the window, immensely relieved to see he had reached his destination. He hastily pays the driver and slides quickly out of the car, away from the music and the guilt it was building inside of him.

Sasuke moves quickly and without conscious thought to his destination, seeing and feeling nothing until he stood in the spot he hadn't been to in eight years. Sinking slowly to his knees, Sasuke gaze moved from his mother's headstone to his father's, then slowly slid to the ground between the two. Closing his eyes, Sasuke takes a deep breath around the lump that was beginning to build in his throat. Dropping back to sit on his heels, Sasuke opens his eyes again and looks at both headstones.

"Hello Mother, Father. I'm sorry I haven't been to visit before now. I guess I just didn't want to be reminded that you were gone and I'm still here. For so long I didn't want to be here either, and seeing your graves was just another reminder that I was alive. So much has changed recently though. I've found someone to love me and I love him. I've got a home and a new family. No one will ever replace you in my heart, but it's nice to be part of a family again, even if none of us are related."

Sasuke falls silent and closes his eyes again, feeling a strange warmth and peace slide through him. Smiling, he opens his eyes again and glances at his mother's headstone. "I think I miss you most of all Mother. I miss your hugs and your soft voice telling me everything was going to be ok, even when I felt my worst. I guess that's why I'm here now, I needed a hug."

Wiping at tears that had suddenly begun to slide down his cheeks, Sasuke takes a deep, shaky breath and continues. "I've made a mess of my life somehow and I can't see the way to fix it. I can probably fix things with Kakashi if I just apologize for acting like a stupid kid, but I don't know how to fix things with Naruto. I'm so damn angry with him, and I'm hurt. Kakashi forgave him for what he did to us, or rather, what he tried to do to us. I don't understand how he could forgive him so easily. I don't understand how he could not feel the anger and the hurt and the betrayal that I feel." Sasuke pauses, frowning, then shakes his head and continues. "Well, ok, I guess I can sort of understand. Naruto is my best friend, not his. He hasn't known Naruto as long as I have. Naruto doesn't mean as much to him as he did to me. But still, he loves me and because of Naruto we almost lost each other. I don't understand how he can just overlook that."

Sasuke falls silent and leans back, shifting his legs out from under him and sitting directly on the cold ground. Drawing his legs up in front of him, he wraps his arms around them and rests his chin on his knees. "Naruto took Itachi's place in my life," he continues. "He's been like a brother to me since the day we met. I feel like I've lost another brother, been betrayed by my big brother all over again. Maybe I'm being too hard on Naruto because he took Itachi's place in my life and because of what Itachi did, but I can't help it. Kakashi is the best thing that's happened to me since Itachi went crazy and killed everyone, and if I were to lose him I don't know what I'd do." Sasuke sits silently for several minutes, thinking, a frown sliding onto his face. "I think maybe I've grown to love Kakashi so much that he's become more important to me than Naruto. Maybe Naruto saw that, and that's the reason he did what he did. I don't want to have to choose between them though. I love them both."

Sasuke buries his face against his knees and laces his fingers together over the back of his head, hiding from the world, and trying to hide from his thoughts. When the warm peace slides through him again, Sasuke lifts a tear stained face to his mother's grave and smiles wanly. "Mother? Is that you? Are you hugging me? Thank you, Mother."

Turning his gaze to his father's grave Sasuke takes a deep shuddering breath. "Father, I hope I'm becoming the man you wanted me to be. I hope that where ever you are, you're proud of me. I love you, Father."

Wrapping his arms around his legs again, Sasuke rests his chin on his knees and stares sightlessly at the two graves. He doesn't notice when the snow begins to fall, and he barely registers the passage of time as he sits at his parents' graves. It's nearly dark by the time cold and hunger drives him back to himself. Lifting his head, Sasuke glances around at the snow that had piled up around and on him. Frowning, he uncurls himself and climbs stiffly to his feet. Shaking and brushing the snow from himself, Sasuke draws a deep breath of the biting, cold air and shoves his hands into his pockets. He stares silently at the two graves one last time, then turns and starts to walk away. He pauses after a few steps, then turns back.

"I think I'll try to go make peace with Itachi, if he'll see me, and if the doctors will let me see him. I need to let go of all the hurt and the anger so I can go on with my life. And I promise I'll come visit more often from now on. I'm sorry I haven't before now. It took me a long time to reach this place in my life." Sasuke pauses and smiles before adding, "And I'll bring Kakashi out to meet you both next time. I'm sure you'll love him just as much as I do."

Turning around, Sasuke heads off. He glances around the nearly fully dark graveyard, trying to remember where the office was located. Spotting the bulky shape in the dim distance, Sasuke turns and heads in that direction, hoping that the pay phone that had been there eight years before during his last visit was still there. He barely notices the other graves he walks past, his mind shying away from acknowledging so much death in such a small area. His mood was dark and he was even more introspective than usual by the time he reaches the cemetery office. Walking around the building, he finds the pay phone right where he remembered it to be, and was relieved to find it still worked. Fingers numb with the cold, Sasuke automatically puts the proper change into the phone and called for a taxi to take him home.

Sasuke leans against the old building as he waits for the taxi to arrive, his thoughts dark, but no longer a confused mass of emotion. He still didn't know quite what he was going to do beyond apologizing to Kakashi for the way he'd acted, but in that moment he didn't care. He just wanted to be home and warm once more. Sasuke knew that eventually he'd figure out what he needed to do.

When the taxi arrived, Sasuke quickly climbed in, shivering in the sudden warmth. He gives the driver Kakashi's address, then settles back in the seat, eyes closed as he enjoys the heat, feeling himself warm slowly. He hadn't realized just how cold he'd gotten sitting next to his parents' graves until he began to warm up. Feeling the pins and needles stabbing at his extremities, Sasuke shudders, wondering if he'd have sat there until he froze to death if he hadn't been so hungry. He wasn't nearly as cold as he'd been after leaving Naruto in the Carriage Motel and walking to Kakashi's several nights before, but he was cold enough to appreciate the warmth of a home, and he was glad to be returning to his home.

They had nearly reached their destination when Sasuke finally managed to draw himself from his thoughts and enjoyment of the warmth in the car to hear the music drifting from the speakers. Leaning his head against the back of the seat, Sasuke smiles as he decides he likes the song. When they reach his destination, Sasuke takes his time about fumbling his wallet out and pulling out the proper payment so that he can hear the ending of the song. Giving the driver a sizable tip and a smile, Sasuke steps out into the cold, singing softly under his breath and runs for the front door, hoping that he'd find Kakashi home.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter was actually written early this afternoon, but as soon as I finished it, I had to go do something, so I didn't get a chance to edit until late in the afternoon, but by that time my muse was riding me hard to start chapter 29, so I did. Then I was distracted yet again by the time consuming process of rearranging the living room. (We're been puting it off for months. lol) By the time we finished with that it was late. I sat down and finished chapter 29 however then immediately edited 28. I'm here now to post it. Since it's so late, 29 won't be up until some time tomorrow. If my muse doesn't ride me too hard about starting 30 when I get up, I'll edit it then and post it first thing before running errands. Otherwise, it'll be tomorrow afternoon when I finish errands before I get it posted.  
Also, I just wanted to say... Damn you Sasuke! Just when I think I know when this story is going to end, Sasuke does something else that adds more chapters to the story. lol


	29. Chapter 29

Kakashi sat quietly in the back of the taxi, tuning out the conversations around him. He'd been distracted and quiet since he'd walked out of Sasuke's room. He'd been surprised by the level of Sasuke's anger, but he'd been even more surprised by his own reaction to Sasuke's anger. It seemed to him every time they had a fight, every time he had to get forceful with Sasuke, he'd sink into the same pit of fear that he was going to push Sasuke away. He knew that if he rolled over and gave in to Sasuke every time he made the boy angry about something, their relationship would never survive, but he loved him so much, he couldn't help but worry about losing him.

Frowning, Kakashi shakes his head and pulls himself out of his thoughts just as the van stopped in front of the house. He glances at the others, feeling guilty for not being part of the conversation on the drive home, but the knowing look he gets from the heavy set cook puts his mind at ease. Everyone by now knew about what Naruto had done and the fight that and ensued between the boys, and Kakashi had told them all at the hospital what had happened between Sasuke and himself. The fact that they let him stew in his own dark thoughts was a relief to Kakashi, and made him love them all the more.

Leaning forward Kakashi pays the driver as Charles and Ms Mimi slide the door open and step out into the cold. Naruto follows and Kakashi slips out behind him, taking his arm with one hand as he reached back and pulled the taxi door closed with the other. He allowed the two members of his staff to move up to the front door, then turned his attention to Naruto. "Stop it, Naruto."

"Stop what?" the boys asks in confusion.

"Stop feeling guilty for what happened between Sasuke and I. It had nothing to do with you."

"Yeah sure it didn't. I pissed Sasuke off and then he tried to force you to choose between us. If I hadn't done what I did, he'd never have been mad and this fight never would have happened."

Kakashi smiles tiredly and shakes his head. "That's not true Naruto. Eventually, Sasuke and I would have had this fight. We're still learning one another, and the limits of our relationship. Sasuke would have tested me eventually to see how far he could push me. Eventually, I'm going to do the same with him. Besides, this certainly isn't the first fight we've ever had, and I'm sure it won't be the last."

Naruto looks at Kakashi through the fine curtain of snow that fell between them, then nods and sighs, his shoulders slumping. "Ok, Kakashi. I still feel bad about it. Even if it would have happened eventually, I made it happen today."

Kakashi shrugs and wraps an arm around Naruto's shoulder, leading the younger man to the front door. "Maybe so. But, maybe it's better than it happened sooner rather than later. Maybe it was the right time for Sasuke and I to take that next step."

Naruto seems to really think about this for several moments, then nods and smiles faintly at Kakashi. "I hope you're right."

Kakashi grins at Naruto and nods. "Of course I am! I'm always right!"

Both men chuckle as they step in the front door, closing it behind them. They find the closet door open and waiting for their coats. As Kakashi slips out of his, he notices that Sasuke's is missing. Feeling his blood run cold, Kakashi whispers a curse and steps into the closet, his coat falling to the floor behind him, forgotten. He pushes coats aside quickly, looking for Sasuke's. When he doesn't find it he curses loudly. He turns, and as he's stepping out of the closet, Charles runs up to him, frowning.

"Sir, Sasuke is gone."

Kakashi nods and clenches his hands at his sides. "I figured. His coat is gone."

The driver nods and glances back down the hall toward the stairs to the second floor. "Ms Mimi noticed that his coat was gone too. We went looking for him but can't find him anywhere in the house."

"Are his things still here?"

"His clothes are all still here. There's a broken picture frame on the floor, glass everywhere. The picture of himself and Naruto is laying on the bed next to the picture of you and him. His MP3 player is sitting on the table next to his bed. I thought he didn't go anywhere without that thing."

Kakashi frowns as he considers this. He turns and moves in a numb haze through the hall into the den. He drops down in a chair and waits until the rest of his little family assembles. Ms Mimi is the last to arrive and the worry on her face makes Kakashi's own worry take a jump upward. Closing his eyes, Kakashi draws a deep breath to settle his nerves, then looks at each person sitting around the room before he speaks. "Ok guys, clearly Sasuke was upset about what Naruto told him, and by my refusal to give in to his tantrum. The fact that he didn't take his clothes is enough to say that he'll be back, though there's no telling how long he'll be gone, because we don't know when he left or where he went. I know it won't do me any good to tell you not to worry, and I don't blame you because I'm going to worry too. You can have confidence in one thing however, I will put this right again as soon as he returns."

Watching each person consider and accept his promise, Kakashi feels himself relax slightly. Leaning back in the chair, Kakashi clears his mind and prepares to wait. Seconds pass into minutes which pass into an hour, then two. Charles is the first to drift away, followed shortly by Ms Mimi, but both return eventually. Naruto, alternately pacing the room and sitting on a nearby couch looking forlorn and guilty, never leaves the room. Kakashi was just beginning to feel the first stirrings of real worry that either something had happened to Sasuke, or that the boy had no intention of returning when he hears the sound of the front door open and close. Eyes gone wide, he looks from one surprised face to another, then jumps up and runs to the doorway, looking out into the hall. Seeing Sasuke just stepping out of the closet in the entryway, Kakashi's heart clenches painfully as relief floods him. He doesn't say a word as Sasuke turns and heads down the hall in his direction, clearly lost in thought. Just before Sasuke reaches the door to the den, Kakashi can hear him singing softly under his breath. He frowns for a moment, recognizing the song as one by Elton John. He has a brief moment to wonder where Sasuke had heard the song, then pushes the thought aside as Sasuke finally notices him standing there and stops abruptly.

"Where the hell have you been?" Kakashi cries before Sasuke has a chance to even open his mouth.

Sasuke scowls at Kakashi, making the older man curse silently for not thinking before he spoke. He half expects Sasuke to turn away from him and not answer, but he's intensely relieved when Sasuke snaps out a reply. "What the hell do you care? You weren't here either."

Kakashi takes a deep breath, forcing himself to think before he speaks again. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell at you. It's just that we were all worried when we came home and you were gone with no note saying where you'd gone or when you'd be back."

Kakashi can see Sasuke's anger begin to drain away. He sighs silently as the boy nods and steps over to him. "I'm sorry I worried you, I never meant to do that. I just needed to get out of here, I needed some time to clear my head and think. It never even crossed my mind to leave you a note. I'm sorry, next time I'll be sure I leave you a note."

Nodding, Kakashi steps back into the den, knowing that Sasuke would follow him in. He stops in the center of the room and turns back to Sasuke, meaning to reply, but stops when he finds Sasuke still standing in the doorway, glaring at Naruto. Kakashi closes his eyes for a moment, fighting the desire to either groan or sigh again. He glances at the cook and the driver, then looks back at the two boys. "Sasuke?"

Sasuke glances back at Kakashi, but he wasn't sure the boy was really seeing him. "I was going to tell you that I'm sorry I lost my temper with you earlier. I'm sorry I put you in that spot, and I'm sorry I acted like a kid, but I was really upset, and to be honest I still don't know why you're not upset about it." Slowly he turns his gaze to Naruto, glaring once again. "Either way, since we both have to live together, I want you to stay the hell away from me, and don't talk to me ever again."

Kakashi gives in and lets himself sigh, feeling a unimaginable weariness drag at him. He closes his eyes for a moment, then looks over at Naruto, noting the pain in his eyes that the resignation on his face couldn't hide. Shaking his head, Kakashi looks over at Charles and Ms Mimi. He's glad to see that he doesn't need to say anything as both nod to him then quickly walk out of the room, leaving the three alone. "Sasuke, please calm down."

Sasuke turns his glare to Kakashi, but it slowly softens to his usual stubbornness the longer he looks at him. "I am calm."

"I really am sorry, Sasuke. I wish I knew how to make you believe me," Naruto says softly, desperately.

Without saying a word, Sasuke closes the distance between them in a few long strides. Kakashi realizes what's about to happen too late to warn Naruto, so he can only watch in silence as Sasuke draws back his fist and punches Naruto in the mouth, sending the older boy stumbling backwards. When Naruto trips and falls back to land on his butt on the floor, Sasuke strides closer to stand over him, leaning down to hiss at him, "I said don't talk to me you bastard!"

Shaking his head, Kakashi moves over to the two boys and grabs Sasuke, pulling him away from Naruto. "Do you feel better now Sasuke? Does that help undo the pain you feel?"

Sasuke blinks and turns his head to look at Kakashi, surprise at the bitterness in his voice showing clearly on the younger male's face. Slowly the surprise bleeds away, replaced by that familiar stubbornness and something that Kakashi could only describe as contentment. "Yes, I do, and yes, it does."

Without saying another word, Sasuke turns on his heel and strides out of the study. Kakashi lifts his hands and rubs tiredly at his eyes, then drops his hands back to his sides and leans down to help Naruto to his feet. "You ok, Naruto?"

The younger man nods, wiping blood from his chin as he watched the empty doorway Sasuke had just stormed out through. "Yeah, I'm fine. I actually feel better for that. If he keeps his anger bottled up, he'll never forgive me. Not that I'd blame him if he didn't."

Kakashi sighs and fights the urge to rub his eyes again. "He'll come around Naruto, you've just got to give him time. I think there is an underlying cause to his anger that has nothing to do with you. There almost has to be. He loves you too much to be this angry over something like this."

Naruto just nods and steps past Kakashi, leaving him alone in the den. Moving back to the chair he'd sat in while they waited for Sasuke to come home, Kakashi drops down into it with a pained groan. Tilting his head back, he stares up at the ceiling as if he could see through it to Sasuke's room where he was sure the boy had locked himself away. He debates going to the younger man and trying to talk to him again, but fearing he'd only make matters worse, he resists the urge and just sits in the chair, letting the tension drain slowly out of him. After a while, Kakashi gets up and moves silently through the house and up the stairs. He moves past his own bedroom door and down the hall to stand outside of Sasuke's. He leans in and listens briefly, considering knocking to ask if Sasuke wanted something to eat. Hearing the soft sounds that could only be crying coming from the other side of the door, Kakashi leans his forehead against the wood as pain clenches at his heart. Knowing there was nothing he could do for Sasuke until the younger man was ready to talk about what was really bothering him, Kakashi turns away and trudges off down the hall to his own room and another sleepless night.

* * *

**AN:** And with that, the angst is back for another round! *sigh* I was going to apologize for how short the last two chapters have been, but then I finished chapter 30 and it's even shorter. lol For some reason, my muse is getting out all that she needs with much less words. Which may also be why the chapters are coming so much faster now too.  
On a side note, another chapter was added with this one because what was originally supposed to happen in this chapter, didn't. It was actually pushed to the next chapter, and was done much differently. I have officially given up trying to guess how much longer this story will be. lol


	30. Chapter 30

Sasuke woke with some reluctance. His mind and body were both heavy with a lethargy he didn't have the will to fight. Opening his eyes slowly, he peered around the room, squinting in the light from his bedside lamp. Moving slightly, Sasuke realizes that he's still fully dressed, right down to his shoes. Sighing, he sits up on the side of the bed. Glancing down, he uncurls his arms and looks at the picture he'd fallen asleep clutching to his chest. Fresh tears threatening, Sasuke puts the picture of his family aside and pushes the pain out of his thoughts. Standing up slowly, still weighed down with the lethargy that held him tight, Sasuke moved across the room to his closet. Stepping in, he begins to undress himself slowly, dropping the clothes he removed to the floor, not caring where they landed. Slipping into pajamas, Sasuke glances out of the closet, frowning as some change that he couldn't quite place squirms in the back of his mind. As he steps out of the closet, it finally occurs to him what had changed: someone had cleaned up the broken picture frame.

Moving across the room slowly, Sasuke sits on the edge of his bed and frowns at the floor where the bits of glass had once be strewn. Shaking his head, Sasuke reaches over and picks up the picture of his family again, then turns off his bedside light. Just before laying down, his stomach gives a hard cramp and an even louder growl. In spite of himself, Sasuke giggles. Glancing at the clock on beside his lamp and seeing the late hour, Sasuke decides it's safe to go down to the kitchens for food without having to worry about running in to any one. Decision made, Sasuke gets up and moves across the dark room, opens the door and steps out into the dimly lit hall, pulling his door closed behind him. He pauses once on his way to the stairs, outside of Kakashi's bedroom. He stares at the closed door and his heart clenches as tears begin to prickle at the back of his eyes. Shaking his head, Sasuke forces himself to move past the closed door to the stairs.

Sasuke moves slowly through the quiet, darkened house, giving nothing his attention. He stops in the kitchen and reaches for the light switch, but hesitates before turning the light on. Frowning, he moves through the dark kitchen by feel, and finding the sink, fumbles around in the dark for the switch that turned on the small light above the sink. When the light snaps on, Sasuke closes his eyes briefly, giving himself time to adjust before turning and moving slowly through the kitchen for food. He manages to make a sandwich, almost as if he were on autopilot, without any real awareness or care for what he was doing. Through it all, Sasuke never sets the picture of his family down. Taking the sandwich to the table he sits down and stares at it, knowing that even though his body was demanding food, he wasn't particularly interested in eating. Sighing, Sasuke shakes his head and finally sets the picture aside before picking up the sandwich and beginning to eat. Eyes closed, mind blissfully blank, Sasuke makes short work of the sandwich, satisfying his body's need for the time being.

Pushing the plate close to the center of the table. Sasuke draws his legs up, propping his heels on the edge of the chair and wrapping his arms around his legs, resting his chin on his knees. He thinks briefly about going back to his room and going back to sleep, but he realizes he can't muster energy enough for the walk, or even energy enough to care. The lethargy that he'd awakened with had pulled back just long enough to allow him to come down to the kitchen and eat, but it had now returned. Sasuke glances around the empty kitchen until he feels unexpected tears prickling at the back of his eyes again. Turning his head, he looks at the picture of his family sitting where he'd left it on the table. Reaching out a hand, he rests his fingertips on his mother's image, then his father's and finally Itachi's. Closing his eyes, Sasuke feels the threatening tears spill over at last.

As the tears flow, Sasuke finds himself wishing for the emotional lethargy that had held him in its grips when he'd first woke up. Squeezing his eyes closed for a minute, Sasuke tries to calm the tangle of emotions inside him, but gives it up for a lost cause, opening his eyes to look at his family once again, wondering what might have been. He's so caught up in his pain and the tears that he doesn't hear when someone else enter the kitchen, and he doesn't know he's no longer alone until he feels a warm hand settle on his back. Jumping and jerking his gaze away from his contemplation of the picture, Sasuke looks over to find Kakashi standing over him with a concerned and pained look on his face. Sasuke just looks up at Kakashi for a moment, then bursts into fresh tears. He's so lost in his pain that he barely notices when Kakashi pulls a chair close to him and sits down, lifting Sasuke from his own chair and settling him in his lap.

When his tears finally slow, allowing Sasuke enough room to think and to speak, he turns his head to look up at Kakashi. He's surprised to find the older man looking not at Sasuke, but at the picture of his family, tears leaving wet trails down his own cheeks. Sasuke squeezes his eyes closed, pushing several more tears out, then opens them to look up at Kakashi again, not sure he wasn't seeing things. Seeing the tears still on Kakashi's face, though now the older man was looking down at him, Sasuke shakes his head in wonder. He turns himself far enough to be able to wrap his arms around Kakashi, clinging to the older man and crying silently for a while longer, all questions and thoughts forgotten for the time being from the sight of the tears on Kakashi's face.

Lifting his head again to look up at Kakashi several minutes later, Sasuke takes a watery, wavering breath and tries again to speak. "What are you doing here?"

Kakashi only smiles at first and leans down, pressing a kiss to Sasuke's forehead, wrapping his arms tighter around him. "I couldn't sleep. I've grown rather used to sleeping with you held in my arms. I was laying there, staring at the ceiling and I just got this feeling that you needed me. I got up and went to your room, but you weren't there. I remembered Ms Mimi came to tell me just before she went to bed that you never came down to eat anything around supper time, so I guessed you might have come down to the kitchen for something to eat." There's a long pause, then Kakashi pulls one of his hands out from behind Sasuke and hooks a fingertip under his chin, tilting his head up so their eyes met. "What's wrong Sasuke?"

Sasuke shakes his head, then glances at the picture of his family, feeling a few tears trickle out. He frowns as an idea finally begins to form in his mind. "I don't know. Well, maybe I know. I was so angry earlier, and so hurt by what you did that I couldn't think straight. Then I started to feel embarrassed for the way I was acting because I knew you were right and I felt so bad. I had to get out of here. I needed some space and some time to think. I'm not sure what made me decide it, but I called a taxi and went out to visit my parents' graves. I sat there for... Well, I'm not sure how long I sat there. A long time. But, while I was there I decided it was time I made peace with Itachi. If the doctors will let me see him, I'm going to go Monday and work through the mess he left in my life. I want to forgive him, I want to move on, but I'm not sure I can."

Kakashi remains silent and Sasuke draws another deep breath, this one more steady than the first. Reaching out a hand, he settles his fingertips in the image of his brother again. "Itachi betrayed me and destroyed my family. I alway wondered in the back of my mind what my life would have been like if he hadn't done what he did. Then I met you. I moved in here and I had a family again. Ms Mimi and Roger were like my parents, Charles is like my favorite uncle. I had you, the one I love most of all. And I had Naruto, who took Itachi's place in my life and in my heart. Naruto was my new big brother. And he tried to destroy my new family just like Itachi destroyed my first family."

"Sasuke," Kakashi begins. Sasuke shakes his head and pulls his gaze away from the picture, looking up at Kakashi again.

"No, don't say it. I can see it now. I didn't understand what was going on with me, but it's just now beginning to come clear, and right along with it I'm seeing how silly it is. I knew that I needed to make peace with Itachi as best I could. What I didn't realize was just how much he was ruining my life, even now, all these years later. Because of what he did, I'm being unfairly hard on Naruto for every little thing. It's like I'm holding him up to a much higher standard than everyone else. As if he owes me for what Itachi did to me. It's not Naruto's fault, I know that, and yet..." Sasuke trails off and shrugs helplessly at Kakashi.

"I understand, Sasuke. And as much as I want to keep you safe, keep you away from Itachi, I won't. I know you need to do this. So, first thing Monday, I'll take you to see your brother."

Sasuke shakes his head firmly and feels new tears beginning to prickle at the back of his eyes once more. "No, I need to do this alone. Please don't be mad at me. I don't know how to explain it, but I know that I have to do this for myself or I'll never be free of it."

Kakashi tightens his arms around Sasuke making his tears flow freely again as tension begins to drain out of him. "I'm not mad at you, Sasuke. I could never be mad at you for doing what you think you need to do. I love you, Sasuke, please don't forget that."

Turning to bury his face against Kakashi's shoulder, Sasuke cries silently, clinging to the older man. When the tears finally pass, Sasuke is exhausted and drained of emotion. Lifting his head, he looks up into Kakashi's eyes, smiling tiredly at the compassion he sees there. "Thank you for understanding. Thank you for loving me. And thank you for letting me love you."

"You don't need to thank me for anything Sasuke, you should know that by now. Everything I do for you, I do out of love."

Sasuke nods and lays his head back on Kakashi's shoulder again. "And everything I do for you I do out of love. And I love our family too. I need to find the way to let go of my past before I ruin our family."

Kakashi leans down and presses a kiss to the top of Sasuke's head, and when he replies, Sasuke can feels the older man's lips moving against the top of his head. "You've found the way Sasuke, and I always knew you would. We just had to give you some time to come to it."

"You just had to give me time to stop being stupid, you mean."

"You're not being stupid Sasuke, you're learning as you go along, the same as the rest of us."

Sasuke can only nod at first, tilting his head to bury his face against the side of Kakashi's neck. When the threatening tears recede, Sasuke draws a deep breath, catching the lingering scent of Kakashi's cologne and the smell that is purely Kakashi. "I'm going to fix all of this. I'm going to make everything right again."

"I know you will, Sasuke, I never doubted it for a moment."

Sasuke doesn't reply. He holds tightly to Kakashi, a small part of his mind fearing that if he didn't hold tightly the older man would disappear, leaving Sasuke alone again. He relaxes gradually, pushing the fear away, blotting it out with the love he felt for Kakashi, and for their odd little family. Sasuke draws in a deep breath to sigh, but manages only to yawn instead, relaxing to the point that he teeters on the edge of sleep. Lifting his head, he looks up at Kakashi, feeling there was something more he needed to say, but not able to find the words. Giving up, he turns his head and looks at the picture of his family, still laying in the table next to him.

Kakashi smiles and leans down, kissing Sasuke lightly. He reaches out and picks up the picture from the table and hands it to Sasuke, then stands, holding him effortlessly. "Let's go to bed," he murmurs as he turns and walks out of the kitchen. Sasuke lays his head against Kakashi's shoulder and lets himself drift blissfully toward sleep.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter was originally much shorter than this. (Sad, isn't it? Since the damn thing is still short. lol) But, during the editing process, my muse deicded she wasn't happy with it, so more was added to the scene. (Originally they didn't talk so much.)  
Also, unless my muse pulls a fast one (always possible with her. x.x) this should be the end of the over-abundance of angst.


	31. Chapter 31

Kakashi woke early the next morning with Sasuke still held tightly in his arms. He lifted his head to glance at the clock and sighs quietly at how early it is. Propping himself up on one elbow, he looks down at Sasuke, sleeping with the picture of his family clutched to his chest. Feeling a pang, Kakashi closes his eyes and lays back in the bed, drawing Sasuke tightly against his chest once more. After a few minutes he leans in and presses a kiss to the back of Sasuke's head, then whispers, "You're going to send me to an early grave. When you're not with me, I can't sleep. When you are with me, I always seem to wake up earlier than I should because I'm worried I'm not going to be awake when and if you need me."

Kakashi grins and shakes his head as he pulls back from Sasuke. He moves back carefully, sliding his arm out from under Sasuke slowly so he doesn't wake the sleeping boy. Sitting up, he stretches and turns to watch Sasuke sleeping for a few minutes. Leaning over, he kisses Sasuke's temple then brushes his hair back out of his face. Giving his pillow one last longing look, Kakashi slides over to the edge of the bed and slips out. He starts across the room to the bathroom, then stops. Frowning, he debates with himself whether he wanted to get a shower or not. Finally he shakes his head and turns away from the bathroom. He looks back at Sasuke's sleeping form once before he pulls his bedroom door open and slips out into the hall, pulling it closed behind him.

Moving quickly through the silent house, Kakashi pushes a hand through his unruly hair, beginning to wonder what he was going to do. He'd left his room with no real plan, and as he moved through the sleeping house, no plan came to him. Stepping into his study and closing the door behind him, Kakashi quickly moves across the dark room, flipping the lamp on the desk on. Moving around the desk, he sits down and reaches over to turn his computer on. Leaning back in his chair, he twines his fingers together at the back of his head and leans back, staring sightlessly across the room. After several minutes, Kakashi sits forward and opens his music folder on his computer, setting up a random shuffle with the volume turned down to a point that he could just barely hear.

Leaning back in his chair, Kakashi lets the music wash over him, soothing his jangled nerves. When he was calmer he began to try to figure out just what had him so tense. He knew he was stressed about what was going on between Sasuke and Naruto, and the problems he and Sasuke continued to have in their budding relationship, but he didn't think that accounted for the level his stress was at now. Resting his head against the back of his chair, Kakashi closes his eyes, his mind slowly going blank as he relaxes. Without even noticing he begins to slip back into sleep rather than working on figuring out the source of his stress. He snaps awake when he hears his study door open. He pushes the his feet and stands staring across the dimly lit room at the figure standing in his doorway. The first thing his mind is able to register is that song that's playing, then quickly he realizes that it was Sasuke standing there looking at him from the doorway. As he moves around his desk, he has to smile at the coincidence of Sasuke walking into his study while "Yours To Hold" drifted softly out of his computer's speakers.

"Sasuke, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I woke up and you were gone. It's so early though, I didn't expect you to be up, so I came to find you."

Kakashi stops in front of Sasuke and draws the younger man into his arms, holding him tightly. "I was careful not to wake you when I got up. I couldn't sleep and I was feeling a bit antsy, so I came down here to let you sleep in peace."

Sasuke tilts his head back and smiles tiredly up at Kakashi. "Thank you for that, but I can't go back to sleep."

Kakashi frowns slightly at Sasuke. "Why not?"

"Because I miss you."

Kakashi chuckles and bends down, picking Sasuke up easily. He closes his eyes and sighs contently as Sasuke snuggles in against his chest. "I'll tell you what, I'll take you back up to our bed and I'll stay with you until you go back to sleep."

"Our bed?"

Kakashi grins as he steps out of his study and moves through the house. "You know it is."

Sasuke smiles up at Kakashi, then nods and lays his head on his shoulder. "I suppose you're right."

Neither say another word as Kakashi walks quickly and silently through the house. Back in the bedroom, Kakashi lays Sasuke back in the bed and pulls the blanket up around him, then stretches himself out next to Sasuke, draping an arm over the boy as he snuggles in against Kakashi's chest. It doesn't take long for sleep to claim Sasuke again, but Kakashi doesn't move. Laying there next to the younger male, Kakashi was content and the stress that had earlier haunted him was held at bay. Lifting his hand from Sasuke's back, Kakashi reaches up and begins to stroke his fingertips, feather-soft down Sasuke's cheek, his gaze moving to trace the movement of his fingers. When he's sure that Sasuke was going to remain asleep, Kakashi leans down and kisses the boy lightly in the forehead and whispers, "I love you" before getting up and moving quietly out of the room again.

When he returns to his study, Kakashi glances at the clock and decides it wasn't too early. Sitting at his desk once again, he reaches out and picks up the phone and dials a number from memory. He's pleased that the phone is answered after only a few rings, knowing this meant he hadn't awakened anyone. "Stan, it's Kakashi, I need your help again."

"Good morning Kakashi, I'm not surprised. To be honest, I thought you'd call me last night."

Kakashi shakes his head and sighs. "No, there was too much going on last night."

"Naruto told Sasuke and Sasuke was angry and you wound up fighting with one another over it."

Kakashi blinks, stunned and can only sit staring at his desk for several heartbeats as he recovers from his surprise. "How did you know that?"

"Do you really need to ask?"

"Naruto told you what he did, I'm sure of that. But how did you know that Sasuke would get mad and that he and I would wind up fighting?"

"Because I know he still has some unresolved issues with his brother, and in his eyes Naruto is his brother now. Where Naruto is concerned, Sasuke is going to be less than accepting of mistakes because of what his real brother did. As for your fight with Sasuke, well, I know you."

Kakashi shakes his head and closes his eyes for a moment before he replies. "It's not any of that. At least, I don't think it's that. I woke up at five this morning and just couldn't go back to sleep. I could feel stress wanting to sneak in, but my happiness at having Sasuke in my arms helped hold it at bay. I was so antsy though I couldn't stay in the bed, and by the time I reached my office I was nearly crushed with stress. At this moment I don't know if I want to run screaming around the house or just cry. I just don't know where it's coming from."

"Tell me about what happened last night."

"After you left, Naruto came down to my study to talk to Sasuke. I left them alone so they could have their privacy and went to talk to Ms Mimi and Charles about going to the hospital to visit Roger. Then I went upstairs to change and put some shoes on and as I was coming back down Sasuke nearly ran me over on the stairs. He looked up at me and he was crying and his face was torn between pain and anger. He ran past me, leaving me stunned on the stairs. I turned and started to go after him and heard his bedroom door slam. I decided to give him a little time to calm down and instead went down to talk to Naruto. He told me what happened, and he and I worked it out. I forgave him, though I don't know if he'll ever forgive himself for hurting Sasuke. After that I went up to Sasuke's room to talk to him. He'd thrown the picture of himself and Naruto across the room and shattered the frame. I knew then that things weren't going to be good, but I underestimated the level of his anger. I woke him up and he immediately started yelling about wanting Naruto out of the house. When I told him Naruto wasn't going anywhere and that once he calmed down and thought about it that he'd be able to forgive Naruto and he'd be glad his best friend was still here. That only made him more angry. He then told me if Naruto was staying then he was leaving, basically telling me I had to choose between them. I'd had enough at this point and lost my temper a bit with him. I told him again that Naruto was staying and that when he was ready to stop acting like a spoiled brat that we could talk again, then I left him. We went to the hospital to visit Roger after that and Sasuke was left behind."

"Hold on Kakashi. How did Sasuke react to being called a spoiled brat?"

Kakashi winces at the memory. "I was walking out of his room at this point, so I only got a flash of his face as I looked back over my shoulder to tell him we were going to the hospital to see Roger. He looked stunned that I'd talked to him like that, that I'd said something like that to him, but he also looked hurt and still a little angry. But, at the time I was so angry with him for acting like he was and trying to put me in the spot he was that I didn't pay much attention to the way he looked."

"Ok, go on."

"We left the house after that. I told everyone what had happened on the way to the hospital, and I calmed down as I talked. After that though I wasn't quite myself. As seems to always be the case when Sasuke and I fight, I spent the whole time worried that he was going to leave for real, just as he'd threatened. I kept thinking I was going to lose him. Then when we got home I let Ms Mimi and Charles go in the house while I talked to Naruto. I could see he was feeling guilty, because he thought my fight with Sasuke was his fault. When we got inside and were taking our coats off, Charles came and told me that Sasuke was gone. He and Ms Mimi and searched the house but couldn't find him. I checked the closet and sure enough his coat was gone. He'd left his MP3 player behind, so I knew he'd be back, not that it stopped me from worrying that he wouldn't be. He'd picked up the picture of himself and Naruto and left it on his bed next to the picture of he and I."

"What about the picture of his family?"

"As far as we could tell it hadn't been moved."

"Ok, go on."

"After that I just moved to the den and sat down to wait for Sasuke to come back. The family followed me in and I did my best to soothe their worries. It was almost three hours later before Sasuke came home. I'd been so worried about him that the second I saw him I yelled and asked him where he'd been." Kakashi winces at this memory and shakes his head. "He snapped back that it didn't matter because we weren't home anyway. He made it pretty clear he didn't think it was my business. He then told Naruto that he didn't want to boy to talk to him ever again. Charles and Ms Mimi left us alone after that. I tried talking to Sasuke, wanting to calm him down and find out where he'd gone, but Naruto spoke to him, apologizing again. Sasuke never said a word, just walked across the room and punched Naruto in the mouth. I didn't realize what was going to happen until it was too late to stop him or warn Naruto, not that he'd have done anything with the warning. Sasuke stood over him and told him again not to talk to him. I asked Sasuke if hitting Naruto made him feel better and he said it did, then left. I stayed behind to make sure Naruto was ok, then I went after Sasuke. When I got to his room I could hear him crying, and as much as I wanted to go to him, I figured it would be best to leave him alone for the night, to let him calm down."

"And what did Naruto do after Sasuke hit him and left?"

"Nothing. He said it was less than he deserved. If anything, I think he felt a little better for Sasuke having hit him."

"Did Naruto try to talk to him again?"

"No, he went and cleaned up and I think he got something to eat then went to his room. I haven't seen him since."

"What did you do?"

"After I left Sasuke's room I went to my own room. I didn't want to be around anyone. I stayed there for the rest of the night. Ms Mimi stopped in on her way to bed to tell me that Sasuke had never come down to eat anything and to scold me for not eating, then she went to bed. I went to bed myself even though I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep. I was right. I never could get to sleep. Then late last night, around midnight or so I think, I got this strong feeling that Sasuke needed me. I got up quickly and went down to his bedroom, but he wasn't there. I remembered that Ms Mimi had told me he hadn't eaten supper, so I went down to the kitchen looking for him, and that's where I found him. He was sitting at the table with his legs draw up to his chest and had one arm wrapped around his legs. The other was stretched out so his fingers were resting on the picture of his family that he'd brought down with him. He had his face pressed against his knees and he was crying. I picked him up and sat down, settling him in my lap and I just held him while he cried. I kept looking at the picture of his family and it hurt my heart. Because he was hurting, yes, but that wasn't all of it. There was something else there too."

"Do you still have the picture of your father and mother next to your bed?"

Kakashi blinks, then frowns and shakes his head. "No, it's in my study, sitting on my desk." He turns his gaze over to the picture in question and feels his heart clench painfully.

"Sasuke had what you never had. He had a mother. He has a brother. He had a traditional family."

Kakashi nods, then closes his eyes. When he doesn't speak the doctor prods him gently. "What happened then Kakashi?"

"When he calmed down he told me that after I'd left him in his room he was stunned and hurt and still angry. He said he couldn't be still and just had to get out of the house. Without thinking about it, he decided to go to his parents' graves. That's where he was when we came home. He'd decided while he was there that he needed to go see his brother, that he needed to make peace with Itachi. He said that he was still living in the past and it was ruining his present life. He thinks that his issues with what Itachi did are affecting his relationship with Naruto."

"He's likely right."

Kakashi can only shake his head for a moment, then sighs. "I told him I'd take him to see Itachi Monday, if the doctors will even let him in to see him. He said he doesn't want me to go, that he thinks he needs to do it on his own."

"How did you feel about that?"

"I was a little hurt I guess, but I understood. I want to protect him, and he told me he'd let me protect him as long as I let him protect me as well. But, he won't let me protect him from this. That I don't understand."

"It's because you can't protect him from it. If you could, he'd not heal like he should. Do you remember when you were young and you'd ask Ms Mimi about your mother and she'd never give you the answers you wanted? Remember you told me that she always seemed to be hiding something but told you not to bother your father with it?"

Kakashi nods, then remembering that he was on the phone and couldn't be seen, he murmurs, "Yes, I remember."

"She was protecting you from the pain of the truth. When you finally asked your father and he finally told you that he blamed you for her death, you were hurt, but relieved. Why?"

"Because at least I knew the truth. There was no dark secret following the family around."

"Ms Mimi was trying to protect you from that truth. If you'd let her protect you, you'd have never found out that your mother died in childbirth and your father blamed you for her death."

"But what does that have to do with--"

"You know the answer to that Kakashi," comes the quick reply, cutting him off.

Closing his eyes, Kakashi sighs and nods. "If I protect Sasuke from the painful truths that his brother likely has, there will always be that dark cloud of secrets following him around. He'll never be able to heal the wound."

"Do you resent Sasuke for having that family that you always wanted and never had?"

"Of course I don't!"

"Honestly?"

Kakashi starts to say no again, then stops himself, feeling horror and guilt flood through him. "Oh, God," he whispers.

"It's ok Kakashi, it's normal."

"But, he doesn't deserve--"

"Of course he doesn't. And you'll get over that resentment now that you've faced it and acknowledged that it's there. Would you give up the family you have now to go back and have what Sasuke had?"

Kakashi frowns as he thinks about the question, then shakes his head slowly. "No, I couldn't give any of them up. I love them."

"Does that include Sasuke?"

"I love him most of all," Kakashi replies quickly and with absolute certainty.

"There you are. That's the answer you were seeking, isn't it?"

Kakashi blinks and slumps back in his chair, surprised. He nods slowly, then whispers, "Yes."

"You're having trouble trusting Sasuke, and he's having trouble trusting you. I want to see you both this week. Separately of course, but I also want to talk to you together at some point. If I can get you pointed in the right direction, I'm sure you can both begin to mend those trust issues yourselves. Sasuke's already taking that first step by confronting his brother."

Kakashi takes a deep breath, realizing that he suddenly felt exhausted. Lifting his free hand he rubs his eyes, then sits up and smiles. "Thank you, Stan."

"No need for thanks Kakashi, it's my job."

"I'll make that appointment first thing tomorrow."

"You be sure you do that."

Smiling, Kakashi hangs up the phone and leans forward, resting his head on his desk. After several minutes he sits up and stops the music that was still playing softly. Shutting his computer down, he turns the desk lamp off and gets up, moving around the desk. When he steps out into the hall, pulling the door closed behind him, he feels more at ease than he had in months. With a happy sigh, Kakashi heads off in the direction of the kitchen, suddenly ravenous.

* * *

**AN:** Started this chapter last night, but was having trouble writing. The angst of the previous chapter hadn't let me go and I wasn't in the right frame of mind to write this chapter, so I gave up after 3 paragraphs. This morning I still couldn't get my muse going, so I went and DLed a song that's been stuck in my head for a couple of days and played it on repeat for an hour as I answered messages and reviews. Went out after that to run an errand and on the way home my muse woke up to one particular song my MP3 shuffle tossed up. Next thing I knew I had Itachi and Sasuke talking in my head. Frustrating since we haven't gotten there yet. But, when I got home and sat down I was able to write with little trouble. This chapter is about a thousand words longer then the previous ones. I'm content. lol


	32. Chapter 32

Sasuke spent all of Sunday locked away from the rest of the world in Kakashi's room. He woke feeling particularly anti-social, the only person he wanted anywhere near him was Kakashi. Though Kakashi did spend quite a bit of time talking to Sasuke, trying to ease him out of his dark mood, Sasuke remained locked away, shaking his head emphatically each time Kakashi asked him to leave the room for anything. Kakashi eventually gave up and brought Sasuke clothes and a few of the books he wanted to read. Sasuke only pulled himself out of the books when Kakashi would bring him food, or when he'd come to try to draw him out of the room. The later in the day it got, the harder Sasuke found it to concentrate on what he was reading until he was eventually forced to give up on it. Instead he paced the room, lost on his own thoughts, nervous beyond measure about seeing his brother for the first time in ten years the following day. Kakashi asked him once why he didn't go that afternoon to see Itachi, and when all of the color drained from Sasuke's already pale face, an alarmed Kakashi gathered Sasuke into his arms, deciding he didn't need an answer to that question.

When Monday morning came, Sasuke was so nervous he opted to skip breakfast, and was surprised when Kakashi didn't argue with him, trying to get him to eat. Taking a last deep, calming breath, Sasuke turns and looks up at Kakashi, debating briefly with the idea of letting the older man come with him. Seeing the confidence in Kakashi's eyes soothes Sasuke's nerves enough that he pushes the idea aside. Giving the older man a weak smile, Sasuke reaches down and slips his hand into Kakashi's then turns to the bedroom door. Squaring his shoulders, he starts walking, never once looking back. When they slip out into the hall, Sasuke is surprised to find it empty, having expected the rest of the family to be waiting in the hall to see him off.

"They wanted to give you your space."

"Huh?"

Kakashi smiles at Sasuke as he looks up at the older man. "Everyone else wanted to give you some space. You avoided everyone yesterday. They knew how hard this was for you, so, they decided to give you all the space you needed today. Don't worry, they'll be all over you when you come home."

Sasuke smiles absently, then starts off, moving quickly down the hall. He staggers to a stop outside of Naruto's bedroom door. He feels a flare of anger that he quickly squelches, then just stands there staring at the door, Kakashi standing beside and slightly behind him and remaining silent. Sasuke lifts a hand, thinking about knocking, suddenly wanting to say goodbye to Naruto, but he quickly drops his hand back to his side. As he turns and starts to head off down the hall again, he realizes that he can hear Naruto singing quietly from the other side of the door. Frowning, Sasuke steps closer to the door, listening.

"Now I can't say my name, or tell you where I am. I want to blow myself away, don't know if I can. I wish that I could be in some other time and place, with someone else's soul, someone else's face."

Sasuke staggers back from the door with a gasp as pain grabs at his heart briefly He closes his eyes and hangs his head as memory floods him. Having forgotten about Kakashi, he jumps and utters a soft yelp of surprise when the older man's hand settles on his shoulder. He spins around to face the other man, gasping harshly for breath. "Kakashi!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. What's wrong Sasuke?"

Sasuke shakes his head and turns, walking down the hall. When he reaches the stairs he stops and sits down, knowing that with his legs shaking as they were, he'd never make it down without falling. "Just unexpected memories."

"Do you know the song Naruto was singing?"

Sasuke nods and stares off at nothing in particular in a distance that only the mind can give you. "Yeah, it was Gaara's favorite song. He said it was the theme of his life. There was so much about it that he thought pertained to his life, he used to joke and say the song was written just for him." Sasuke pauses and shakes his head sadly. "He taught Naruto and I the lyrics and we wound up singing it all the time. Gradually we saw less and less of Gaara because he was dodging his father so often. I was always trying to find work that would get me off the street. I don't know what Naruto was doing, I never asked. After that though that song started to become the theme of Naruto's life and mine. When things were at their toughest we'd sing that song. When we were scared or upset about anything, we'd sing that song. But it was always Gaara's song, Gaara's life."

Kakashi slides an arm around Sasuke's shoulder and he automatically and easily leans against the older man with a quiet sigh. "I wish I'd gotten a chance to meet Gaara. It's not often one can meet someone with such an indomitable spirit. If that song was the theme of his life, then he certainly had an indomitable spirit I'd have liked to have see."

Sasuke draws back from his memories and looks up at Kakashi, mildly surprised. "You know the song?"

Kakashi chuckles and nods. "Of course I do. Did you forget the extensive song collection I have on my computer and my MP3 player?"

"No, I didn't, but..." Sasuke trails off with a shrug.

"It's a great song, of course I know it. Bon Jovi happens to be a group I have quite an extensive music collection for. They're one of my favorite groups."

Sasuke stiffens and looks up at Kakashi again, an idea forming slowly in his mind. "Then you--"

"Yes, I have that song on my computer. You have your MP3 player in your pocket? Then let's go put it on your player before you leave."

Sasuke hurries down the stairs after Kakashi, pulling his MP3 player out of his pocket as he goes. He follows the older man into his study and closes the door behind them. He stands on the opposite side of Kakashi's desk, dancing his weight from one foot to the other again and again as Kakashi works. With each passing second, Sasuke feels his heartbeat kick up until he thinks his heart is going to beat its way right out of his chest. When Kakashi finally looks up and hands him his MP3 player, Sasuke instantly relaxes. All of the nervous tension about seeing his older brother draining away as that small bit of plastic was placed back in his hand. Closing his eyes he draws a deep breath, then looks at Kakashi again, smiling brightly.

"Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me."

"Oh, I can guess, just by the look on your face right now."

Grinning, Sasuke turns back to the door and pulls it open. He steps out into the hall as he looks back over his shoulder at Kakashi to make sure the older man was following. When he turns back he staggers to an abrupt halt, nearly tripping over his own feet in his effort to keep from running over the girl in front of him. He blinks at the pink-haired girl as she stares at him in shock, a blush quickly brightening her cheeks. "Er, sorry about that. I guess I should have been watching where I was going."

Sasuke stops, frowning as it finally sinks in that he didn't know the girl. He starts to ask her who she is when Kakashi speaks up from behind him. "Sasuke, you know Mrs Haruno who comes in once a week to clean? This is her daughter Sakura. She's on vacation from school right now and came along to help her mother."

Sasuke glances back over his shoulder at Kakashi as he speaks, then looks back at the girl in front of him. He smiles at her and starts to step around her, then stops when he hears her whispering "Oh my God!" over and over as she stares at him, still blushing. Frowning in confusion and a bit of irritation, Sasuke moves around the other girl, calling back to her as he passes, "Nice to meet you Sakura."

Sasuke gives the girl no more thought as he moves down the hall. He stops and pulls his coat out of the closet and shrugs it on as he turns to face Kakashi, frowning to find the older man grinning at him. "What?"

"What? Are you serious? You didn't notice?"

"Notice what?" Sasuke frowns harder, growing irritated with the verbal game quickly.

"Sakura has a crush on you."

Sasuke feels his cheeks heating and turns away from Kakashi, pulling the front door open as he mutters, "Yeah right."

Kakashi reaches out and grabs Sasuke just before he can step outside, pulling him back into his arms. Sasuke looks up into Kakashi's eyes and smiles in spite of himself, pushing up onto tiptoes to kiss the older man before drawing away from him. "I'll see you later. Try not to worry too much."

Without waiting for an answer, Sasuke steps outside and hurries down the front steps and over to the waiting taxi. He pushes the earbuds of his MP3 player into his ears as he walks, but doesn't turn it on until he's in the taxi and given his destination to the man behind the wheel. He turns the player on and looks back over his shoulder at Kakashi standing and watching him depart from the doorway. He lifts a hand and waves to the older man, then turns his attention to his player and shuffles through the songs until he finds the new one and sets it to repeat. As he listens to it the first time through, he frowns as he didn't sound quite like he expected it would, but he decides he likes it. Settling back in the seat, Sasuke tunes out everything around him but the song that filled his ears and the occasional memory of himself, Naruto and Gaara singing the song.

When the taxi stops, Sasuke looks up at the building they were stopped in front of. Feeling his heart begin to thump rapidly against his ribs again, Sasuke pays the driver and steps out of the taxi. He pauses to turn his MP3 player off and tuck it back into his pocket then walks up to the door. He tilts his head back as he moves, getting a good look at the building and feeling a sense of foreboding just from it's appearance. It was five stories tall, but managed to be squat at the same time. The large block that was used to form the outer facade seemed to suck all color out of the surrounding area, making Sasuke feel depressed and nervous. Trying to shake these feelings off, he looks firmly at the front door and pulls it open, stepping inside.

Sasuke takes a moment to get his bearings then walks over to the front desk and smiles nervously at the woman sitting there looking boredly back at him. "I was wanting to visit a patient."

The woman slides a clipboard to Sasuke and says dully, "Sign in, please."

Sasuke looks down at the paper in front of him and frowns. Picking up a pen he quickly signs his first name, then pauses before writing in his last. He stares at his name for several heartbeats then signs. His gaze slides to the right and he sees the spot where he was supposed to write in the name of the patient he was there to see. Clearing his throat, Sasuke stands up straight for a moment, wiping his suddenly damp palms in the legs of his jeans. Leaning down again, he quickly fills in Itachi's name, then slides the clipboard back to the bored looking woman and sets the pen back on her desk. The woman glances at his name on the list, then picks up a phone. She pauses to look at Sasuke, holding the phone to her shoulder.

"Go have a seat over there," she motions to a small sitting area behind Sasuke. "Someone will be out to take you back to see the patient soon."

Sasuke nods, then turns and walks stiffly over to the seating area. He perches himself on the edge of a chair, feeling as if he were about to turn inside out with the tension that was flooding him. When a door opens, Sasuke lifts his head and looks at the man in the white lab coat that walks out into the waiting area. Sasuke jumps to his feet and smiles nervously as the man approaches him.

"Sasuke Hatake?"

Sasuke nods and rubs his damp palms on his jeans again before taking the offered hand and shaking. "Yes, sir."

"I was surprised to find out that Itachi has a visitor. It's been ten years and no one has come to see him in that time. He's told me often that he had a little brother and that he would come see him, but I didn't know. I thought maybe you were his little brother when I heard someone had come to see him, but then I saw your last name is Hatake. You do look quite a bit like Itachi however. Are you related to him somehow?"

Sasuke shifts his weight nervously from one foot to the other. "Yeah, I'm his little brother. I'm married now, so I'm not Sasuke Uchiha anymore."

Sasuke knew this was a blatant lie, but for some reason it seemed important to him that this strange man accept this excuse. "Really? I would have thought your wife would take you last name, not the other way around."

Feeling himself blush, Sasuke averts his gaze, looking at a fake plant in a corner of the room. "I don't have a wife, I have a husband, and he's older than me, so I took his last name. Besides, I'd rather be part of the Hatakes than the Uchihas."

The doctor frowns at Sasuke's answer, but nods and seems to accept his reasoning. "Well, that's certainly your choice of course. Now, can I ask you why you want to see Itachi?"

"Because he ruined my life ten years ago, and he's still ruining it today. I've got to make my peace with him so I can move on."

The doctor nods and crosses his arms over his chest as he examines Sasuke. "I figured it was something like that. Ok Mr Hatake, I have to tell you, Itachi isn't in the best of moods today, but he said he's willing to talk to you. I'm afraid I'm going to have to insist that you keep your visit short however."

Sasuke shrugs, then nods. "That's fine, I won't need that much time to say what I need to say and to ask my questions. And please, call me Sasuke. My husband is Mr Hatake."

The doctor smiles and nods, then motions for Sasuke to follow him. Sasuke takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders as he falls in behind the older man. He has to wipe his damp palms on his jeans several more times before they reach the room Itachi was waiting in. Sasuke glances up at the doctor and takes one last deep breath. He pauses before stepping into the room, looking back at the older man. "Is it safe for me to be in there alone with him?"

The doctor nods and smiles at Sasuke's nervousness. "It will be fine. You won't be alone with him at any rate. There's a couple of orderlies in the room. They won't pay any attention to your conversation, you needn't worry about that."

Sasuke nods and swallows the lump that had suddenly grown in his throat, then steps into the room. His gaze settles instantly on Itachi and he stops moving, stops breathing and stops thinking as he stares at the older boy. He jumps when the door clicks softly closed behind him. Scowling, Sasuke forces himself to walk farther into the room, trying to ignore the amusement on Itachi's face. He stops at the table Itachi was sitting at and just stares at him, shocked to see that Itachi looked much as he remembered him. His hair was a bit longer, but otherwise he looked exactly as he had ten years before. It takes Sasuke several minutes to realize that the reason Itachi appeared the same was because Sasuke had grown in proportion to his brother so the difference in their height was the same as it had been the last time he'd seen his brother.

"Well hello, little brother." Itachi says quietly, breaking the silence and making Sasuke jump again.

Scowling, Sasuke pulls the chair out from his side of the table and sits down. "Hello Itachi. I've come to get some answers from you."

"Oh, I knew you'd be along seeking those answers eventually. Tell me little brother, why did you give your name as Hatake rather than Uchiha?"

Sasuke's shoulders slump, but manages to resist the urge to squirm under his brother's intense stare. "Because I'm married now."

"Men don't change their name when they get married, my foolish little brother, women do. Are you my little sister now?"

Sasuke sits up straighter, scowling at his older brother. "No! I'm married to an older man, so I took his name when I married him!"

Itachi's eyebrows slowly climb up his forehead making Sasuke blush as anger surges through him. "My little brother is a fag, huh? I guess it's a good thing I killed our parents, because that bit of news probably would have killed them."

Sasuke gasps and jerks back as if he'd been hit. He blinks at Itachi who was looking at him in amusement again. "You don't know that, you son of a bitch," Sasuke whisper vehemently.

Itachi shrugs, then smiles infuriatingly at Sasuke. "Maybe not, but I bet I'm right. So, tell me about this man. You said he's older than you, and since you're only sixteen, your marriage must be illegal. You married some perverted old man, little brother?"

Sasuke hands clench into fists at his sides and he has to fight for several heartbeats to not throw himself across the table and strangle Itachi. "Shut up! Don't you even think about Kakashi," he grits out between clenched teeth.

Itachi chuckles, then shrugs boredly. "Sure little brother, whatever you want. Now, ask your questions, I'm already getting bored with your presence."

Sasuke feels an unexpected jolt of pain at this. He turns his head aside, staring at the wall until he could control his features once again. He draws several slow, deep breathes to settle his nerves, then looks back at Itachi. "Why, Itachi? Why did you kill them?"

Itachi shrugs and leans back in his chair, looking bored. "Because I could. Because I wanted to. I was curious."

Sasuke stares at his older brother in horror, not even bothering to try to keep the horror of his face. "You were curious?"

Itachi nods and grins at Sasuke again, making that anger surge through him again. "Yes. I was curious if there was anyone in the family strong enough to stop me."

Sasuke feels his horror continue to grow, and he wonders briefly if he really wanted the answers he was seeking. Forcing himself to move on, Sasuke is dismayed to hear that his voice was beginning to lose that edge of confidence it had held to start with. "Why didn't you kill me too? Why did you leave me alone like that? Why did you take everyone from me and leave me with nothing?"

"Because I loved you, little brother."

Sasuke is so stunned by this unexpected answer, it takes him several minutes to recover. "You love me? What the hell are you talking about!? If you loved me you'd not have taken everyone from me!"

Itachi waves a hand dismissively and grins at him again. "You're better off without them, even I knew that. I knew that if you could survive living on the streets that you'd be better off."

"Why would you assume I lived on the streets?"

"Because I know you, little brother. There's no way you were going to let them put you in foster care or in an orphanage for some strange family to pity you."

Sasuke scowls at this and shakes his head. "I don't understand why you didn't just kill me too."

"I told you why, little brother."

"Bullshit! I want the real reason, Itachi!"

Itachi leans back in his chair, still looking decidedly amused. "I couldn't kill you, little brother. You were the only one in the family I ever cared about. You're actually not my little brother. Did you know that?"

Sasuke blinks in confusion and shakes his head, trying to clear the confusion. "What are you talking about? Of course I am. We look just alike."

Itachi leans forward, grinning like that cat that got the canary. "Of course you do, you're my son."

Sasuke jumps up from the table, knocking the chair backward. When it hits the floor with a loud bang, Sasuke jerks as if he'd been shot, drawing the attention of the two orderlies, though he pays them no attention as he continues to stare at his brother in a mix of horror and pure rage. "Why the hell would you say that, Itachi!?"

Itachi leans back in his chair, laughing and grinning that infuriating grin. "Because it's true. You're the product of incest, little brother."

"That's a lie! Mother would never--"

"Of course she wouldn't," Itachi interrupts him. "Not willingly anyway. But I made her. It was actually quite enjoyable."

Sasuke backs away from the table slowly, feeling his air being choked off by the horror that was rising in him so quickly. When he bumps into the door he stops and just stands staring at Itachi in shock and horror, torn between disbelief and memories of the tension that had always been there between Itachi and their father. Remembering the coldness he'd gotten from his father on many occasions, Sasuke feels himself beginning to believe what Itachi was telling him. He shakes his head hard once in denial then wraps his arms around himself, suddenly chilled to the bone.

"I'm afraid it's true little brother. I didn't kill you because I love you. You're my son."

Sasuke shakes his head again, then turns and fumbles with the doorknob. He finally manages to get the door open, and just before he steps out into the hall, he hears Itachi beginning to laugh. Rushing out of the room and slamming the door behind him, Sasuke clamps his hands over his ears and runs. He runs through the halls and back out into the reception area. He pauses once to glance at the woman behind the desk. She no longer looked bored. Now she looked uncertain and surprised. Feeling the first hot tear trail down his cheek, Sasuke shakes his head again, trying to get Itachi's words out of his mind and begins to run again. He runs out of the building and down the steps. When he reaches the parking lot he's running as fast as he can. Sasuke manages to stop thinking at this point. He runs until he can't run any longer, then forces himself to continue running. When he finally collapses in exhaustion, Sasuke can only sit, sobbing in anger, pain and disbelief.

Time passes, unnoticed by Sasuke. When he comes back to himself, drained and exhausted, he glances around to get his bearings. He realizes instantly that he'd run to the graveyard his parents were buried in. He starts to walk back to his parents' graves, then stops himself. Wiping at the remnants on tears still damp on his cheeks, Sasuke turns resolutely away, going to the pay phone he'd used a couple of days before. He calls for a taxi and stands numbly as he waits for it to arrive. He climbs into the back of the car when it comes, gives the man driving his address, then sinks back into the dark silence in his mind. When he arrives at home, Sasuke pays the man and slides out of the back of the taxi. He moves into the house and takes his coat off, dropping it on the floor in the entryway rather than putting it away properly in the closet. As he moves through the house, he nearly runs into the pink-haired girl again. He barely gives her a look as he walks past.

Heading for his room, Sasuke doesn't look at anyone or anything, barely even realizing he's moving. When he steps into his room, his gaze immediately settles on the picture of his family. He frowns at it for a moment, wondering how it had come to be back in his room, then forgets everything as he feels a surge of anger flood through him. Striding across the room he picks the picture up, feeling for all the world as if he'd been betrayed. He slams the picture down onto the floor at his feet and stomps on it several times, then turns and flees from the room. He runs aimlessly at first, then automatically turns and runs to the one place in the entire house he felt the safest.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter gave me a little trouble getting started. Didn't write yesterday because I was exhausted from staying up until 3 the night before and not sleeping well after. (I went to bed at 2:30 last night, but slept better. lol) My muse hasn't wanted to play and I'm not sure why. The start was very slow and very rocky. I had to stop after Sasuke actually left because my muse flat refused to continue working. So, I checked the mail, ran to the store for some milk. Watched something on the DVR (I Survived a Japanese Game Show is awesome! I'm in love with Rome. hehe) to further pass time, then decided it was time to work whether if she wanted to or not. And work we did. Didn't have any more trouble. But I did have one nasty shock. Guess what it was! Bet you can! .  
So, after Itachi made his little announcement to Sasuke, I jumped up, set the laptop down and moved to the other end of the house saying "Ohmygod! Ohmygod! Ohmygod!" the whole way. I was stunned beyond the capacity to think. Now, before anyone asks, I don't know if that's true or if he was just screwing with Sasuke because he's a crazy asshole. My muse hasn't decided to let me in on it yet. We'll see in later chapters.

Anyway, the song quoted (the one Naruto was singing) is called "Someday I'll Be Saturday Night" and it is indeed by Bon Jovi as Kakashi said. It was on repeat for the entire chapter. I lay no claims to the song, it belongs to whoever wrote it and Bon Jovi of course.

**EDIT:** Thanks to Heretoplease for the typo catch! Mistakenly used Sasuke instead of Naruto. Fixed now! :)


	33. Chapter 33

Kakashi stood up and began pacing again, ignoring the looks he was getting from the people around him, police and citizens alike. He stole a glance at the room Naruto had been taken in when he arrived. As it had every other time he'd looked in that direction, Kakashi's gaze slid to the boy who had come out of the room as Naruto was ushered in. He'd noticed the surprise on Naruto's face and the slight stiffening of his gait when he'd looked at the boy. Clearly Naruto knew who the boy was, and something about him upset his young friend. His desire for answers drove him almost as hard as his desire to see Naruto cleared of all charges.

Sitting down again, Kakashi sighs and runs his hands back through his unruly hair. Glancing at his watch, he winces to see that only five minutes had passed since the last time he'd checked his watch. Reaching into his pocket he pulls out his cell phone, checking to be sure it was still on. That one gesture was enough to send his worries in the other direction, his thoughts now turning to Sasuke. Staring at the phone, he begs it silently to ring. He didn't know when Sasuke would get home, but he'd made Sasuke promise the night before that the moment he got home, if Kakashi and Naruto hadn't yet returned that he'd call and let him know that he'd arrived back home ok. He didn't expect anything to happen to Sasuke. At least not physically. He couldn't shake off the feeling that it was a mistake letting Sasuke go talk to his brother alone. Sasuke was vulnerable because of everything that had happened recently, and Itachi was in an insane asylum.

Kakashi's thoughts are drawn back in the other direction when the door Naruto had been taken through opens. It's not the blonde that walks out however, but one of the detectives that had escorted the younger male into the room as soon as he arrived. Fighting the urge to get up and pace again, Kakashi watches the older man intently as he walks over and speaks to the strange boy that Naruto had recognized. Reading what he could see of their facial expressions and their body language from across the room, Kakashi can tell they're having a pretty intense conversation. As he watches the conversation drag on for what felt like hours but was more likely only minutes, Kakashi feels his heart begin to thump thickly in his chest. When he thinks he can take no more, the detective nods and turns around, walking back into the room. Kakashi leans over to the side, peeking in the door when it opens, getting his first glimpse of Naruto since the boy had stepped into the room an hour before. As if he felt Kakashi's eyes on him in that second the door was open, Naruto turns his head and looks at him. Kakashi couldn't see him long enough to decipher the look on his face and it makes his fidget nervously.

The cell phone, still clutched in Kakashi's hand begins to vibrate, making him jump noticeably, drawing a few amused looks from people around him. Feeling slightly embarrassed and more than slightly foolish, Kakashi jumps to his feet and moves across the room and out the door onto the sidewalk out front. Looking down at the phone he sees his own home phone number flashing on the screen, and with that the pendulum swings back in the other direction. Flipping the phone open, Kakashi holds it up to his ear, wincing at how desperate and breathless he sounded when he answered the phone. "Yes, hello? Sasuke?"

"No, Kakashi dear, it's me. Sorry, Sasuke hasn't come home yet."

Kakashi sighs and closes his eyes, letting his head drop forward. "Ms Mimi, I'm sorry. I just expected Sasuke would be home by now. He left hours before we did, I didn't think he'd be out this long."

"Don't worry dear, you know he had a lot he needed to get out of his system. It's likely to take him a while."

Kakashi nods, then sighs again. "Yes, I know. But, I'm still worried. I'm sorry Ms Mimi, what was it you needed? Is there something wrong with Roger?"

"No, he's fine. Will you stop worrying already? I'm sure you're worried about Naruto too. You're going to make yourself crazy. Sasuke is fine. Naruto will be fine. Roger is in his room sleeping peacefully, and you heard the doctor, he'll be just as good as he was before soon enough. I didn't call because something was wrong, I called to ask you a question."

"Ok, ask away. I'm sure I have an answer for you somewhere."

"Cute, very cute. Mrs Haruno wanted to know if she should be cleaning the boys' rooms as well. I know while they were gone you didn't want her in their rooms, and this is the first time she's been here since they've been back."

Kakashi frowns, then shakes his head at the unexpected question. "Actually, tell her to hold off until next week. I'd rather ask the boys than make that decision for them. I'm sure they'd be fine with it, but better safe than sorry."

"That's fine, I'll let her know. Now, how are things going with Naruto?"

"I wish I knew. They took him off into one of their little rooms as soon as we arrived and I've not seen him since. I wish I knew how much longer they were going to be."

"Oh, stop worrying so much! What did I tell you?"

Kakashi chuckles and lifts a hand to rub absently at the back of his head. "Yes ma'am, I'll try."

"You do that. We'll see you both when you get home."

"Yes, see you then."

Closing the phone, Kakashi shoves it back into his pocket and turns to walk back inside. As soon as he steps in, his gaze settles on the door that was now open. Glancing around he finds Naruto talking to the boy he'd recognized on his way in. Kakashi frowns, but doesn't interrupt them. After a few minutes quiet discussion, Naruto turns away from the boy looking decidedly unhappy. Kakashi starts to walk over to the boy, but stops, waiting to be sure the police were done with him. When Naruto's gaze settles on him and he begins walking in Kakashi's direction, he breathes a sigh and relief and starts walking, meeting the boy halfway across the room.

"Naruto, you look like hell. Are you ok?"

Naruto frowns, considering the question, then shakes his head. "I'm not sure yet. I'm relieved to know I didn't kill Sanari. Apparently that dream was a memory. Gaara's father killed him. That's the other man they were looking for. But, there's just so much..." Naruto trails off and shakes his head. "I've got to let this settle for a while. I've got to think. I'll tell you about it later, ok?"

Kakashi nods and puts an arm around the younger man's shoulders, walking him toward the door. "Sure, I can understand that. Let's go home, ok?"

Naruto nods, walking along quietly beside Kakashi. As they step out the front door, he glances up at Kakashi. "You were on the phone when I came out weren't you? Was it Sasuke, is he ok?"

"No, it wasn't Sasuke, it was Ms Mimi. Sasuke isn't home yet."

Naruto frowns but doesn't say a word. Kakashi doesn't need to hear the boy say it to know what he was thinking. Kakashi was thinking the same thing

When they arrive at the limousine, the look on Charles' face as he open the door for both men is eloquent and speaks volumes about his relief. Kakashi grins at the man before he slides in behind Naruto. Leaning his head back, Kakashi tries to make himself relax on the ride home. Try as he might, he continues to worry and frequently pulls his cell phone from his pocket, flipping it open to make sure it was still working. After one such inspection, he looks up to find Naruto grinning at him. Unable to stop himself, Kakashi squirms in his seat and smiles self-consciously.

"You've heard that old cliche 'A watched pot never boils,' right?"

"Yeah, yeah. It doesn't matter. I keep telling myself that, but it doesn't do any good. It's like an unbreakable habit. The only thing that's going to break it is seeing Sasuke again. Knowing that he's ok."

"He's going to see his brother. I can guarantee he'll be ok physically, but emotionally and mentally? Well, it's almost certain that he won't be ok."

Kakashi frowns and leans closer to Naruto. "Has Sasuke ever talked to you about what happened? About his brother?"

Naruto shakes his head and turns slightly to look out the window as he answers. "He told me a little about what happened right after we met, but be closed up about it soon after that. He talked about Itachi quite a bit when we were young. For a while he almost had himself convinced that Itachi would be back some day and that he'd make everything right again. It took a couple of years for him to give that one up, but through it all, whether if he wants to admit it or not, he never stopped loving Itachi. Itachi had always been the most important person in his life, and he was reluctant to let him go. As we got closer he didn't talk about Itachi as much, but I knew that Itachi was still a big part of his life."

"Sasuke told me that you had replaced Itachi in his life. You'd become his new brother."

Naruto nods and finally looks back at Kakashi. "I probably did, but he never let go of Itachi. He never let go of his love for the man, or his hurt over what he did. He can say that he hates him, that he's angry for what he did, but deep inside, Sasuke still loves Itachi just as much now as he did the day before Itachi killed their family."

Kakashi shakes his head, unable to wrap his mind around this idea. Lifting a hand, he rubs at his eyes before looking back at Naruto again. "He feels betrayed by Itachi for what he did." When Naruto nods, Kakashi continues slowly, starting to understand Sasuke a little better. "That feeling of betrayal, that hurt... it's because he loves him so much. They always say that those who you love the most are the ones that can cut you the deepest."

"Sasuke tried to convince himself for a long time that he hated Itachi, but we both always knew better. Eventually he just stopped talking about him, although I doubt he ever stopped thinking about him."

Kakashi sits silently, mulling over what they'd discussed. He lifts his head when the car stops and glances at the window, surprised to find that they were at home already. He glances at Naruto and grins sheepishly as he slides over to the door. "Sorry I wasn't much of a conversationalist."

"Don't worry about it. We both had a lot we wanted to think about. It's been a hell of a day."

Stepping out of the car, Kakashi glances up at the house, hoping that Sasuke would step out the front door to greet them. He glances back over his shoulder when Naruto slides out of the limo behind him then starts off toward the house. When the door opens, Kakashi catches his breath, his heart skipping a beat, but when the woman that cleans his house and her daughter step out rather than Sasuke, he feels his heart sink. Sighing, Kakashi walks up to the woman and smiles politely at her.

"Thank you, Mrs Haruno. See you next week?" As the woman nods, he turns his gaze down to her daughter, smiling at the pink-haired girl too. "And thank you as well, Sakura."

"It's ok. I didn't do much, just helped Mother some." Both start past him, heading down to their car, but Sakura stops halfway down the steps, turning back and drawing Kakashi's attention. "Oh, yeah! Tell Sasuke I hope he feels better soon. I'd have told him myself, but he ran past me so fast when he came home, I didn't get the chance to say anything to him."

Kakashi frowns down at the girl. "You saw Sasuke? He's home?"

"Yes, sir. He came in about an hour ago. He was in such a hurry and he looked so unhappy. I thought maybe he was sick. He just ran past me and went upstairs. I think he went into your room. At least, that door squeak I heard sounded like your bedroom door, and it's the only one up there that makes that sound. It's strange that it only squeaks when you open it quickly. I wonder what makes it do that?"

Kakashi barely hears the girl as he hurries up the steps. He gives her a distracted smile and calls back over his shoulder, "Thank you, Sakura. Good luck in school next week."

Not bothering to take his coat off, Kakashi hurries through the house, heading for the stairs to the second floor, Naruto right behind him. He encounters Ms Mimi on her way down the stairs with a tray in her hands. He stops at the bottom of the stairs and looks up at the woman coming down toward him. "How's Sasuke? Is he ok?"

The older woman frowns as she walks down the stairs to Kakashi, stopping next to him. "What? Sasuke isn't home yet."

Kakashi shakes his head and starts up the stairs, taking them two at a time. "Sakura said she saw him come home. She said it sounded like he went into my room."

Forgetting everyone else, Kakashi hurries up the stairs and down the hall to his room. He half expects to find the door locked, but when he turns the knob the door opens readily enough. Hurriedly pushing the door open, Kakashi rushes into the room. He staggers to a stop when he sees Sasuke curled up on the foot of his bed. The sound of Sasuke's sobbing finally breaks him out of his stunned trance and he runs across the room, grabbing the boy and gathering him in his arms. When Sasuke turns and clings to him, his body wracked with sobs, Kakashi can only hold tighter to him and sit on the edge of the bed, rocking the boy as anger begins to fill him. He glances up once when Naruto and Ms Mimi come in the room. He shakes his head at both, but says nothing. The cook nods and turns, walking out of the room. Naruto walks back out, and Kakashi sees a flash of the boy's coat as he slides to the floor outside of the bedroom door that he'd left ajar.

After several minutes, Kakashi looks down at Sasuke and reaches up to gently brush the boy's hair back out of his eyes. "Sasuke?" He gasps at the lost look on the boy's face when he looks up at him. "Are you ok?"

When Sasuke only shakes his head, Kakashi sighs and stands up, carrying the boy with him. He walks into the bathroom and sets Sasuke back on his feet. Walking Sasuke slowly across the gradually brightening room, Kakashi stops at the sink and turns the water on, getting it warm, then pulls a washcloth off a nearby shelf and sticks it under the water. Wringing the cloth out, he holds it out to Sasuke. He's so relieved when Sasuke lets go of him and takes the cloth that his knees nearly buckle. He stays close to the boy as he wipes his face with the soft bit of cotton cloth. When Sasuke turns the water off and hangs the washcloth up to dry, Kakashi slides his arms around him, drawing him close for a tight hug, then walks him slowly back into the bedroom. He sits the boy in the edge of the bed, then shrugs out of his coat and tosses it up onto the bed before kneeling in front of Sasuke.

"Think you're ready to talk about it now?"

Sasuke just shakes his head at first and a few more tears trickle down his cheeks. He gasps in a deep breath and Kakashi reaches out to take his hands, shocked to feel how cold they were even after being in the warm water. He squeezes the boy's hands and finally Sasuke finds his voice. "It was a lie. My whole damn life is a lie. I'm glad my parents are dead. Except, they're not my parents are they? Or, that man isn't my father. And that woman is no mother. Mother's don't lie to their children."

Kakashi shakes his head, confused. "Sasuke, slow down. What are you talking about?"

Sasuke looks up at him and Kakashi has to fight not to jerk away from the look on the boy's face. His face was unbelievably white except for two high spots of color on his cheeks. His face was devoid of any emotion, but his eyes were filled with a depth of anger and pain that Kakashi wouldn't have thought one human being could posses. "Itachi told me that's he's not my brother. He's my father. He didn't kill me because I'm his son."

Kakashi does jerk back at this, unable to help himself. The bark of laughter, completely devoid of humour, that comes from Sasuke makes Kakashi wince. Shaking his head, Kakashi squeezes the boy's hands again. "Ok, hold on Sasuke. What do you mean, he's your father?"

"I mean that when he was still a damn kid, he raped our mother and that's where I came from. But my father raised me as his son. He was cold to me so often and I never understood why. Now, I guess I do."

"Oh Sasuke, I don't think--"

"It doesn't matter what you think!" Sasuke yells at Kakashi, cutting him off. "You didn't grow up in that damn house! You didn't see the way I was treated by my father! You didn't see the looks he gave me!"

"Sasuke, even if--"

"No God damnit! You don't know! You couldn't know!"

Kakashi finds himself becoming unexpectedly angry at his point. Leaning closer to Sasuke, he lets go of the boy's hands, hissing quietly in his face, "Oh, but I do know! My mother died giving birth to me and my father blamed me for her death most of my life! My father hated me when I was a kid and was just as happy working so he didn't have to look at me as most men would be playing catch with their sons in their backyard!"

"Ok you two, stop it!"

Kakashi blinks and jerks back from Sasuke to look over at Naruto who was now glaring at them both from the doorway. Before he can think of anything to say, Naruto strides across the room and grabs his arm, pulling him to his feet. "You go calm down and think. Sasuke isn't angry with you. You need to hold your temper. Now get out of here and let me talk to him."

When Kakashi starts to protest, Naruto glares at him, effectively stopping all protests. Giving Sasuke one last glance, seeing that he'd now turned his rage from him to Naruto, Kakashi turns and strides out of the room. He slams the door closed behind him and just stands in the hall, shaking with a torrent of barely contained emotion. When the anger slowly begins to recede, other emotion rushes in and Kakashi sinks slowly to his knees, tears beginning to slide down his cheeks.

* * *

**AN:** I know I've said it before, but I officialy give up on trying to guess when this story is going to end. Yes, she did it again. My muse has added more chapters. I guess she's having a lot of fun with this story.  
Once again, Naruto made himself a bigger part of the story than he was intended to be. What I hadn't intended was that he'd come in, kick Kakashi out and be the one that gets Sasuke through this mess. I knew he'd have the one line that would make Sasuke see the light, but I didn't know that Kakashi would be kicked out while Naruto verbally beat some sense into him. Of course, I hadn't counted on Kakashi and Sasuke yelling at one another. Ok, Sasuke yelling, yes, but not Kakashi. Then I thought about it. With his dysfunctional past and dysfunctional family life, I guess it's to be expected.  
Next chapter is already chomping at the bit. I'd be writing now if I didn't have a headache. :p Expect it tomorrow afternoon some time.

Oh, and the unnamed doc now has a name! lol We'll find that out later though. :p


	34. Chapter 34

"You really are an idiot sometimes, but damn Sasuke, are you turning into a heartless bastard too?"

"What did you say to me you son of a bitch!?"

Naruto waves a hand dismissively, then crosses his arms over his chest, scowling down at Sasuke. "Stop being such an asshole. And stop being an idiot. Why are you letting Itachi ruin your life? I thought that was the whole point behind you going to see him. I thought you were ready to move past all that shit in your past and stop letting him wreck your life now."

Sasuke narrows his eyes, growling his reply through clenched teeth. "You're right, I can't let Itachi ruin my life anymore... that's _your_ job now."

"Look Sasuke, I deserve anything you decide you want to give me for what I tried to do to you and Kakashi, but I'm not going to take the blame for the mess you're making right now."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're pushing Kakashi away. That man loves you more than you know, and you're throwing it back in his face because of Itachi. I bet if Itachi knew that he'd be crowing in triumph."

Sasuke jerks back as if he'd been struck and just stares at Naruto in shock. He was right, and Sasuke knew it, but he couldn't let go of his anger. "What do you care? You were the one that wanted us broken up. I should think you'd be happy if I push Kakashi away."

Naruto shakes his head and takes a step closer to Sasuke, leaning close to him. "I wanted that before, but I'm over my jealousy now. I see how much you love him, and now I've seen very clearly how much he loves you. Not that you deserve him right now with the way you're acting."

"I don't care! My life is a fucking mess, it's all a lie, and all he's interested in is trying to tell me I'm wrong! He doesn't know a damn thing about my life!"

Naruto leans closer, putting his face right in Sasuke's, speaking quietly. "Maybe that's because you won't let him in. Rather than talk to him about what's going on, you'd rather scream at him and be a little bastard. But you know what Sasuke? As much as he doesn't know a damn thing about your life, you don't know anything about his either."

"I don't give a shit about his life!"

Naruto jerks back, standing up straight and blinking down at Sasuke in shock. "You really are a selfish bastard, aren't you? Maybe I don't know you as well as I thought I did either." Naruto pauses, thinking for a moment, then narrows his eyes as he peers down at Sasuke. "Why the hell are you so angry with him? What did he do to deserve this level of anger?" Naruto holds up a hand, stopping Sasuke before he can answer. "No Sasuke, I want _you_ to answer that question, not your anger. Think about the reason you're so angry with him, then tell me."

In spite of himself, Sasuke finds himself listening to Naruto. He takes hold of his anger, reigning it in so that he can think clearly. Taking several deep breathes, Sasuke manages to calm himself. Closing his eyes so he can't see Naruto, fearing that it would just flare his anger again, Sasuke concentrates on the anger and resentment he was feeling in that moment. After a few moments he begins to understand that when the anger didn't have a hold in his mind, he could think clearly and he had no reason to be angry with Kakashi. There was no rational reason for his anger. Embarrassed, he pushes that thought aside and examines the resentment. Frowning, he opens his eyes and looks up at Naruto, scowling.

"I don't have any reason to be angry with him. No rational one anyway. I'm pissed at my parents and Itachi. Kakashi was a convenient target since I can't scream at my parents for lying to me, and I don't want to see Itachi. He'd enjoy my screaming anyway. And I resent him for having a normal life. At least he knew who his parents were. He was never lied to about his father."

Naruto makes a disgusted face, making Sasuke anger flare up defensively. "Seriously, Sasuke, I heard what you said. Why in the hell would you believe anything Itachi says?"

Sasuke blinks and stares at Naruto in shock. "What?"

"Why would you believe him? Why would you automatically accept the idea that he's your father just because he said he is?"

Sasuke's mind reels and he closes his eyes, wondering briefly if he was going to throw up. "Why would he lie about something like that? Why would he say it if it wasn't true?" he whispers.

Naruto snorts and kneels down in front of Sasuke, smacking him on the back of the head. "You damn idiot! For one damn thing he's in a mental hospital! He's fucking crazy! For another, he killed your entire family! There's clearly something broken in his mind that made him hate your family. Why should you be any different?"

Sasuke's mind continues to reel, and his ears start to ring. It takes him a few moments to realize that he was hyperventilating himself and was on the verge of passing out. Forcing himself to calm down, Sasuke draws slow, even breathes until the dizziness and the ringing in his ears stops. "But... why would he leave me alive if he hated me too?"

"He's crazy, Sasuke! Who knows why the crazy do anything they do? Or maybe he left you alive so he could make your life miserable! You walked in there today and gave him the chance and he took it."

"Oh shit," Sasuke whispers as Naruto's words sink in.

"And besides, on the off chance he wasn't lying to you about that, and he is your father, what difference does it make? Are you going to die because he's your father? Are you going to stop loving Kakashi because the man you thought was your father wasn't? Is you life going to change in any noticeable way?"

Sasuke shakes his head slowly, then turns his gaze up to Naruto's angry face. "But, why would they lie to me about it?"

"For crying out loud, Sasuke, you were a damn kid! You were six years old, do you honestly think that you would have understood if they'd told you the truth?"

Feeling dizzy again, Sasuke closes his eyes and whispers a soft curse. When he's sure he's neither going to throw up, nor pass out, Sasuke opens his eyes and looks at Naruto again. "But, if he did that awful thing to my mother, why would they keep him there? Why wouldn't they send him away?"

Naruto shrugs and leans forward, taking Sasuke's hands in his. "Maybe because they loved him, even if he was a evil, psychotic bastard. Maybe they did send him away for help, but when they thought he was cured he came back home. But geez Sasuke, this is all assuming that what he said is true. Why are you so quick to believe it's true?"

Sasuke shakes his head and squeezes Naruto's hands. "I have no idea. Because I'm a damn idiot I suppose. Shit! Why am I so stupid?"

"You're not stupid. You were already a mess, and going to see Itachi was bound to make it worse. Your mind was just in the right state to make you susceptible to falling into that trap."

"How'd you get so smart anyway?"

Naruto grins at Sasuke and shrugs his shoulders, then lets go of his hands and stands up again. "I don't know, but it's lucky for you that I am."

Sasuke nods and drops his face into his hands, groaning miserably. "Yeah, it is."

"Now you need to go and apologize to Kakashi and try to fix the damage you caused, if you can."

"If I can?"

"Didn't you hear what he said to you? Didn't you see the look on his face before he left?

Sasuke frowns, and shakes his head as he tries to find a clear memory in the haze of the rage that had colored his every thought when he'd been yelling at Kakashi. "He said his mother died when he was born and his father hated him."

Naruto leans down, putting his face right in Sasuke's. "He said his mother died giving birth to him and his father blamed him for her death. He said his father hated him most of his life. Sasuke, as much pain as you thought you were in, it was nothing to the agony I saw in Kakashi's eyes when he turned to leave this room. Your little temper tantrum opened old wounds, clearly. To be honest, I don't know how he functions at all with knowledge like that inside of him. It kind of makes me glad I never knew my parents."

Sasuke looks up at Naruto, horror spreading through him as he finally remembers clearly what Kakashi had told him before Naruto interrupted. He'd missed the look on Kakashi's face and his own reaction had been cut off abruptly by Naruto's interruption. As soon as Naruto had walked into the room yelling at them, Sasuke had turned his anger on his best friend. Pushing slowly to his feet and fighting back the numbness that shock was trying to wrap around him, Sasuke steps up to Naruto and wraps his arms around his best friend, clinging to him for a moment before letting go and stepping past him.

"Sasuke, wait!" Naruto calls before he reaches the door. "What are you planning on saying to him?"

"That I'm sorry. That I love him. That I'm an idiot that doesn't deserve his love, but I hope he can still love me. Then I'm going to ask him if there's anything I can do to help him heal those old wounds."

"Put yourself in his shoes. Do you really think there's anything else another person could do to heal that kind of damage?"

Sasuke stops and hangs his head. Sighing, he lifts his head again and pushes his hair back out of his face impatiently. "No, I suppose not, but I want him to know that I'm there in any capacity he could possibly need or want me in. I need to apologize for the way I treated him."

Naruto just nods and motions for Sasuke to continue. Turning away, Sasuke runs to the bedroom door and stops, turning back to look at Naruto one last time. "I'm sorry to you as well."

Naruto smiles and shakes his head. "Thank you, but you don't have anything to apologize to me for. Now go find your boyfriend."

Nodding, Sasuke turns and hurriedly jerks the door open. He glances first in one direction, then the other, and not finding Kakashi waiting for him in the hall, Sasuke steps out and rushes for the stairs, meaning to tear the house apart if need be until he found the man he loved.

* * *

**AN:** As usual, this chapter didn't quite come out the way I expected. In general I'm happy with it, but the opening line bugs the crap out of me. It wasn't what I originally had planned for Naruto to say, but at the time I wrote it, it's all I could come up with. During the edit process I still couldn't remember what was originally intended, so I kept it.  
Had a headache yesterday because I've been staying up too late recently, so I didn't think writing was going to happen. Rather than write last night, I settled in to watch the first Naruto movie on my laptop, planning to go to bed after. That didn't happen. My muse bugged me through the whole movie, then really jumped on when it ended. I gave in and decided to write the opening of the chapter. Just the first few lines. 45 minutes later, the chapter was nearly finished. x.x I saved, shut everything down and she still wasn't done with me. So, I grabbed the notebook from beside the bed and jotted down the opening for chapter 35. That chapter's gonna be a tough one for me, so, even though it is now officially started, it may be a while before I finish it.

**PS:** Who'd have thought that such intelligence would come from that idiot, Naruto? lol


	35. Chapter 35

Kakashi has just enough presence of mind to stagger to his feet and move slowly down the hall as wounds he'd thought long healed were torn open again. With each choking sob that ripped free of his chest, another wound opened in his soul, another memory was brought to the front of his mind and laid bare. As he moved aimlessly through the house, he battled the onslaught of memories long repressed. He comes back to himself, shaking free of the memories once, finding himself in his study. Looking around the room and seeing nothing, Kakashi draws a deep breath and whispers a curse. Glancing back at the door, he walks over to it and pushes it closed. Sliding his hand to the lock, Kakashi feels almost physically drawn to look back over his shoulder at the picture of his parents on his desk. Fingers going numb, he fumbles with the lock for a moment, then staggers over to sit on the edge of the couch. Still staring at the picture, Kakashi feels the memories beginning to come back, bearing down on him like a huge destructive wave. Tearing his gaze away from the picture, he drops his head into his hands, clamping them over his ears as if that were enough to keep him from hearing. He squeezes his eyes shut, as if this would keep him from seeing.

_He looks up at his father, smiling proudly as he holds out his first report card. "I got all A's Daddy! Ms Yukio says I'm the best student in the whole class!"_

_His father looks down at the bit of paper being help up to him, showing no interest in it. He turns his cold gaze on him, making him frown and lower his arm as he steps back. "So you're good at something besides killing? Why would I care? Get out of my face you little bastard."_

Kakashi gasps and squeezes his eyes more tightly shut as he sobs, "You were the bastard, Father! Damn you for your hatred!"

_"Daddy! It's my birthday today! Can we go to the park? My friend Obito says that on your birthday the man that sells ice cream will give you a free ice cream!"_

_"Why the hell would I want to celebrate you taking your mother from me? Go away damn you, I have work to do."_

Whimpering Kakashi shakes his head, trying to stop the next memory from coming.

_"Daddy? Daddy, can I come in?" He looks up at the closed bedroom door, his favorite teddy bear, a gift from Ms Mimi, clutched to his chest. "I had a bad dream, I can't sleep."_

_"You're my bad dream. Go back to bed you little bastard."_

Kakashi slides off the edge of the couch, not noticing the pain of his knees slamming against the hardwood floor. Hands still clenched over his ears, he utters an inarticulate and choked scream of mingled rage and pain as memories continue to bombard him.

_"Happy birthday, Daddy! I made this for you at school!"_

_His father takes the crudely made card, full of the innocent and sweet love that only the young have, barely gives it a glance, then tosses it in the trash. "Get out of here you little shit, I'm busy and you're annoying me."_

Drawing himself back from the flood of memories with all the effort he can muster, Kakashi slumps to the floor gasping in pain. He tries to draw around him more positive memories; time spent with Ms Mimi, the closest he had to a real parent when he was young. When he thinks he's stopped the flow of memories, he relaxes with a soft, relieved sob only to have the horrible flashes of memory from childhood flood over him again. This time they came so fast, he only got snippets, each coming quicker than the last until it was hard to discern one memory from another as they ran together.

_"I wish you'd never been born!"_

_"I hate you, you little bastard!"_

_"Your mother deserved better than you!"_

_"You're useless, I wish you were dead."_

_"You're a waste of space, get out of here!"_

_"Why don't you just go off somewhere and die already?"_

Kakashi claws his way out of the last flash of memory, the pain of the little boy he'd been following him out of the memory. Sobbing, Kakashi pushes himself up into his hands and knees. He remains in this position, too weighed down with pain to move, for several minutes. With a choked sob, he lifts his head, his gaze automatically straying to his desk and the picture waiting to rip deeper into old wounds once again. With supreme effort, Kakashi forces his gaze to travel not to that picture, but to the only other one on his desk. Staring hard at the image of himself and Sasuke through the blurry haze of tears, Kakashi tries to fight the painful memories with happier ones of time spent with Sasuke. It's not long before some of the painful memories associated with Sasuke begin to creep in around the edges and a wave of defeat washes through Kakashi. He once again hears Sasuke's voice, yelling in accusatory pain and anger that Kakashi couldn't understand his pain and the memories roll in once again.

_He looks up at his angry father, scared and nervous. The man holds out his baseball with one hand shaking it, his other arm swung back to point at the broken window behind him as he yells at him. "Look what you did you little bastard!"_

_He pulls his gaze away from his father only briefly to comply, looking at the window he'd just accidentally sent his baseball flying through. "I'm sorry, Daddy! It was an accident! I didn't mean to break the window!"_

_"It's not enough that I feed you and buy you clothes, now I have to replace broken windows? You're getting too expensive to keep!"_

Kakashi hears a noise; a voice. Whoever it was seemed to be calling to him, calling his name. Before he can make his mind give him the name of the person the voice belong to, another memory sucks him under.

_He stands holding a plate of oddly shaped and slightly burned chocolate chip cookies. He's covered in flour but so happy with his accomplishment, he doesn't care. "Happy Father's Day, Daddy! I drew a picture for you, and Ms Mimi helped me make you some cookies! They're chocolate chip! Ms Mimi says they're your favorite."_

_He turns around from whatever he was looking at on his desk. He barely gives him a contemptuous look, before turning back to his desk, leaning over and dismissing him. "I'm not a father. You're just a mistake in my life. You're no son of mine."_

Kakashi hears the voice again, this time his mind immediately provides a name to go with the voice: Sasuke. Opening his eyes, he looks over at the study door, still closed. He hears a loud knock and Sasuke's voice again. He can't pull himself far enough from the barrage of memories to be able to understand what Sasuke was saying, but just the sound of his voice triggered something in Kakashi and he knew how to fight the flood of memories, the crushing weight of pain. Closing his eyes as fresh tears begin to roll down his cheeks, Kakashi stops fighting, and instead embraces the memories. Rather than fighting to hold the past away, blocking it from his mind, he voluntarily pulls the past to the front of his mind. He watches his father treat him cruelly again and again, but gives it no power, letting the pain remain in the past. He'd already felt that pain, and he'd survived it. Kakashi hears Sasuke's voice again as one last memory grows slowly in his mind, this one a memory of his choosing.

_He was standing in his father's office, watching the older man glare at him for his intrusion. Part of him that still loved the man and longed for his approval cries out, but he ignores it. Squaring his shoulders and lifting his head, he locks his gaze on the other's. "Father, why do you hate me? I asked Ms Mimi, but she won't tell me. She's hiding something from me, but I don't know what. I want to know. I think I have a right to know."_

_"A right? Are you serious? What the hell gives you the right?"_

_"Years of abuse from the man that was supposed to love me and care for me! That's what gives me the right!"_

_"Fine, you want to know why I hate you, you little bastard? I'll tell you! It's because you killed your mother! She died bringing your worthless hide into this world! She gave her life so you could have life! You aren't worthy of her sacrifice! She loved you so much from the moment she found out she was pregnant, even knowing that it would most likely kill her. She was so excited to find out she was giving me a son that she'd already chosen a name for, because she thought that's what I wanted. She was what I wanted however, not you. Never you! The only reason I raised you was because it's what she wanted! She made me promise that I'd raise you! I'd have much rather __buried__ you with her, or at least put you in some damn orphanage somewhere, because when your mother died, you became an orphan."_

_He feels a flood of pain, not at what his father said about him, but at what he'd said about his mother. No one had ever told him that his mother died in childbirth. He'd always assumed she died shortly after he was born. When he was a child he'd made up __fantastical__ stories about his mother doing heroic deeds to save his life when he was just a baby. In his imaginings, she'd loved him enough to give her life, making up for the love the glaring man in front of him never gave him. To have it confirmed that she did love him enough to give her own life, which she did by continuing a pregnancy she knew would likely kill her, made him ache even more for the woman he'd never had a chance to know._

_"You disgrace her memory by treating me the way you do, and by denying me your love. You are also denying her last wish. What must Mother be thinking up there in Heaven? She must be heartbroken. She must be ashamed of you. I know I am."_

The memory fades away slowly and Kakashi curls up into a ball, fresh sobs ripping from his chest, making him gasp for each breath. Pressing his forehead to his knees, Kakashi sobs out the pain that the memories had brought back to the surface. Pain he'd thought long healed, but now knew had only been deeply suppressed. He feels a warm hand brush his cheek and imagines it is his mother, come to comfort him in his grief.

"Mother, I tried to love him," he sobs quietly.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter was hard on me for reasons that I think should be obvious. It was written bit by bit over three days time. I could never write long each time I sat down. Once I figured out how it would end, the last memory, it got a little easier to write, but was still tough on me. It got so bad, and I didn't want to write this chapter so much that I had my left wrist start hurting pretty badly yesterday. It didn't take me long to figure out it was likely psychosomatic in origin. (Er, excuse me for the big word. It means that I was so messed up in my head with not wanting to write it that that mental resistance became a physical problem to help me resist.) Once I finished this earlier however, my wrist miraculously stopped hurting and hasn't since. (In other words, I was right. It was in my head. XD)  
Now we get a bit more of Kakashi's traumatic past. I don't think I could hate his father any more than I do right now if I tried. In the back of my head I'm grumbling about him faking his death and bringing him back just so I can kill him. . I'm not going to, but that's the level of my hatred for the man. lol  
On a more amusing side note (or at least it is to me. lol) I listened to the same CD for the last three chapters. (The Long Road by Nickelback. Their best CD to date in my opinion.) And while writing chapters 33 and 34, the same song kept distracting me, leading my muse to new story ideas. (If you're curious the song is "Figured You Out" and if you've heard it you might get an idea of what kind of story she was pushing. lol) But surprisingly, or maybe not, the song didn't distract me a bit during this chapter. (Which is odd since I was going out of my way to find things to distract me from having to write this.)

On another side note, I'm planning a one-shot piece that I'm going to concentrate on after I write chapter 36. Don't worry, I'm writing it for Sasuke's birthday which is Thursday, so the hiatus from Saving Sasuke won't be long at all. I may even get it finished tonight because my muse has already given me the plot and outline as I was out paying bills today. (Got to do something when it's that hot and you're forced out. It was either concentrate on a new story idea or not how overheated I was.) I likely won't post it here because it's pure smut. You can however look for it on YG, or AFF if you have accounts in either place. ;)

**EDIT: **Fixed several unexpected boo-boos. Italics didn't show up in some spots. Not sure why.


	36. Chapter 36

Sasuke moved from room to room at a near run. He wasn't sure what had the panic growing inside of himself, but he couldn't ignore it. He wanted to find Kakashi, to apologize yet again for once more saying and doing something stupid. Each room that he didn't find Kakashi in only seemed to add to that growing panic until Sasuke had to finally stop and force himself to calm down. Standing in the middle of the stairs, Sasuke closes his eyes and draws a slow deep breath, then another as he settled his nerves. When he opened his eyes again, he glanced up to the top of the stairs, finding Naruto sitting there watching him curiously. Mildly embarrassed, Sasuke turns away from his best friend and starts down the stairs. He stumbles to a stop in the middle of the stairs and turns when Naruto clears his throat behind him.

"Naruto?"

"Running like a madman through the house isn't going to do anyone any good."

Sasuke feels himself blushing and turns away from Naruto until the heat finally slides away from his cheeks. Turning back to Naruto, Sasuke sighs, looking up at his best friend. "I know that."

Naruto nods, then smiles down at Sasuke. "I know you do. Now, where's Kakashi?"

"I don't--" he starts to say, then stops when Naruto holds up a hand. Frowning, Sasuke starts to say something else, then stops again as a sudden surety fills him, making heat crawl up his cheeks again, embarrassed that he hadn't thought of it sooner. "He's probably in his study. He's almost always in there!"

Naruto just nods and Sasuke turns away, hurrying down the stairs. He pauses at the bottom and gives Naruto one last glance, seeing the older boy still smiling at him, but just before he turns away, Sasuke catches something else in Naruto's eyes. Too worried about Kakashi and the damage be might have done to their relationship, Sasuke ignores it and turns down the hall toward Kakashi's study. He stops at the door and stands quietly, slowing his breathing back to normal. When his breathing slows, Sasuke lifts his hand to the doorknob, but stops it halfway there. Frowning, he leans closer to the door and listens. Ice slides through his veins when he hears the unmistakable sound of sobbing coming from the other side of the door. He thinks he hears Kakashi talking to someone, but he can't make out the words as his heart begins to beat rapidly, making blood rush through his ears sounding like he was standing by a storm tossed ocean. Moving his hand the rest of the way to the doorknob, Sasuke turns it, but it stops halfway. Cursing he tries again, getting the same result. The door was locked.

Feeling panic beginning to rise inside of him again, Sasuke keeps trying to turn the doorknob, as if it would unlock itself if he only tried enough times. Leaning against the door, Sasuke calls out to the man on the other side. "Kakashi? Kakashi, it's me! Unlock the door!"

Pausing, Sasuke listens for a reply, or for the sound of Kakashi moving to the door. He hears only the miserable sobbing continue and his panic goes up another notch, and he begins twisting the doorknob wildly now. "Kakashi? Kakashi, please! Open the door! Let me in!"

Panting in his panic, Sasuke takes a half-step back and stares down at the offending doorknob, giving it one last violent twist, his wrist twinging a protest at such abuse. Feeling the panic building up to his breaking point, Sasuke sobs sharply once and stares at the doorknob. When a hand settles on his shoulder he jumps and nearly screams. Spinning around, eyes wide and wild with panic, it takes him a moment to realize that it was Naruto standing behind him, hand on his shoulder. Sasuke glances back at the door, motioning with his hand, trying to explain to Naruto what the problem was, but he can only whimper as the panic rides him. Naruto nods, understanding despite Sasuke's panic, leaving his tongue numb and useless. He grasps Sasuke shoulders firmly and pulls him away from the door, pushing him to one side. Sasuke starts to protest, but Naruto holds up one hand to stop him.

"Wait Sasuke, I'll get you in there."

Sasuke can only stare uncomprehending at Naruto until the boy pulls a small black pouch out of his pocket. Relief floods Sasuke as he finally remembers that Naruto had taught himself how to pick locks years ago. Sagging back against the wall, Sasuke watches anxiously as Naruto kneels down and sets to work on the lock. Sasuke begins to wring his hands as each second that ticked past stretched into minutes, then hours. It took every ounce of self control Sasuke could muster not to scream at Naruto to hurry, and just as he thinks his control is going to snap, Naruto stands up. It felt like days, but it was only moments. Staring at his friend, panting, eyes huge Sasuke tries to make his legs cooperate, to walk into the room.

"Sasuke, calm down. From what I can hear, Kakashi is going to need you to be calm. If you run in there panicking like you are, you're probably just going to make things worse. Now close your eyes and breathe deeply. Don't worry, Kakashi isn't going anywhere. He's waited this long, he can wait a few moments longer for you to calm yourself."

Wanting to scream protests, Sasuke closes his eyes and breathes deeply as he'd been ordered. With each indrawn breath he feels calmer, and with each exhalation, rational thought returns. After a few moments, he opens his eyes and smiles his thanks at Naruto as his best friend pushes the door open. Sasuke steps into the room, and seeing Kakashi curled up in the floor in front of the couch, he forgets everything else. Hurrying into the room to Kakashi's side, Sasuke doesn't notice Naruto withdraw, pulling the door closed behind him.

Kneeling next to Kakashi, Sasuke carefully draws to older man over so that he was laying with his head in Sasuke's lap. Tears beginning to roll slowly down his cheeks, Sasuke reaches out and brushes his fingers down Kakashi's cheek, the lightest of caresses. He nearly jumps when Kakashi moves, and he catches his breath when the older man speaks. "Mother, I tried to love him."

Feeling pain grip savagely at his heart, Sasuke closes his eyes for a moment and draws a deep breath to calm himself. Opening his eyes again, he looks back down at Kakashi and leans over him, cupping his cheek in one hand. "Kakashi, come back to me. Where ever you are, where ever your pain has taken you, it's time to leave. Come back to me, Kakashi. I love you."

"Sasuke?" the older man whimpers, black eyes opening slowly and turning in direction, but Sasuke doesn't think he is actually being seen.

"Yes, Kakashi, I'm here. I'm sorry for what I said. I'm a damn idiot, you should have figured that out by now. I was angry and feeling sorry for myself, and I took it out on you."

Kakashi closes his eyes again and draws himself back into a ball, sliding his hands up to clamp them over the back of his head. "He died because of me. It was my fault."

Sasuke, concerned that Kakashi was drawing away from him, blinks in shock at what he hears. Confused, he reaches out to stroke Kakashi's unruly silver hair back from his forehead, trying desperately to soothe him. "Who died, Kakashi?"

"Father. Father died because of me. I killed Mother, then I broke Father and it killed him."

Sasuke frowns, trying to remember what little he knew about Kakashi's past and his family. He remembered being told that Kakashi's mother had died in childbirth and that he'd never been close to his father. Kakashi had told him that his father had committed suicide after some trouble with his work had arisen. "You didn't kill your father, Kakashi, he killed himself. You told me."

Kakashi's eyes open and he pushes himself slowly up onto his hands and knees, staring dully at Sasuke. "I lied. I was ashamed of the truth. Father killed himself because of me. If I'd been a better son, a better person, he'd never have killed himself."

Sasuke gasps in shock, staring at Kakashi in horror, wondering where this was coming from, because this was a side of the older man he'd never even had a hint existed. "Don't say that Kakashi! You're the best person I know!"

Kakashi shakes his head and starts crawling across the room in the direction of his desk as he replies. "You didn't know me then, Sasuke. You didn't know me when I was a teenager. You didn't hear what I said to him. I was so cruel. But.. Oh God, I hurt so much, I _had_ to hurt him back!"

As Sasuke watches, Kakashi turns to his desk and pulls himself up to his knees, holding tightly to the edge of the desk. He reaches out and picks up a picture Sasuke had paid no attention to before. Turning around, Kakashi drops back to sit in the floor, slumped back against the desk. Sasuke starts to move over to Kakashi, but stops when the older man begins to speak again, softly, as he stares at the picture. When Sasuke realizes that the man wasn't talking to him, he feels ice slide through his veins again.

"I wanted to love him, but he wouldn't let me. He was so full of hate because you were gone. All of his hurt turned into hate, and his hate turned into hurt in me. Maybe if I had tried harder to get him to love me, I wouldn't have said those awful things to him and he wouldn't have killed himself. Can you ever forgive me for being so cruel? Can you forgive me for being everything Father said I was?"

"Kakashi," Sasuke begins hesitantly, "your father's death isn't your fault. You were still a kid. Nothing you do could make someone take their own life. It was his choice to make. You said yourself he was hurting from losing your mother. That's why he did it, not because of anything you said."

Kakashi didn't seem to hear him. He kept staring at the pictures, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks again, though he was now crying quietly. Sasuke takes another step closer to Kakashi, but stops, jerking back with a surprised cry when Kakashi reaches over and slams the picture down onto the floor next to him. Sasuke turns his head to avoid the flying glass, and when he looks back at Kakashi again, the older man was on his knees again, digging through the glass, heedless of the cuts the sharp edges were leaving on his palms. Sasuke runs over to Kakashi and grabs his hands, jerking them away from the glass shards.

"Kakashi! Stop it! You're hurting yourself!"

Kakashi looks up at him, seeming to see him for the first time. Sasuke breathes a soft sigh of relief and lets go of Kakashi's hands to pull his shirt off. He rips it carefully in half and uses it to bind up both of the older man's bleeding hands. When he looks up into Kakashi's eyes again, he has to fight to not recoil from the pain and guilt he saw there. "Sasuke, even in his grave that bastard can still tear my heart out. He knew it would hurt, that's why he wrote it, I know it is."

Sasuke frowns as he kneels next to Kakashi, careful to the glass. "Wrote what, my love?"

Kakashi looks down at the shattered picture frame and winces at the blood on the bits of glass. Reaching out, he carefully pushes aside a few bits of glass and picks up an old bit of paper that had been hidden behind the picture. "His suicide note."

* * *

**AN:** In case anyone was confused, yes chapters 35 and 36 overlapped. I had to in order for you to see how Sasuke got to Kakashi, since he'd locked the door. And before anyone acuses me of doing something cheesy to advance the plot, such as conveniently making Naruto have the ability to pick locks, that's not true. I decided he could pick locks early in the story for something that I ended up not using. I just remembered as I wrote the last chapter that he could. Originally, Kakashi was supposed to fail to lock the door. Then I remembered that Naruto could pick locks, and there you go.  
Had lots of trouble with this chapter, and I'm not sure why because I knew everything that was going to happen, but each time I sat down to write, my muse fought me. She even woke me up very early this morning and had me writing the chapter in my head, but again, sit down to write, and nothing. I finally forced myself to sit and write one line earlier this afternoon, and that's all it took to break the dam and get the flood going.  
Also, I'm not sure yet, but I'm going to warn you in advance, the next chapter could very likely do the same overlap as 35 and 36 did. It depends on how much muse wants to handle what happens next.


	37. Chapter 37

Kakashi, trying desperately to hold on to Sasuke in his head, to keep from being swept under the dark wave of pain that threatened him even after he'd embraced the memories rather than running from them. With each breath, that wave batters at him, making his grip slip a little more, threatening to tear him away from Sasuke. He stares at the picture he was clutching in his hands, barely remembering taking it off his desk. His gaze locked on his mother's smiling face and he could feel the tears beginning to roll down his cheeks again. Slowly, his gaze travels down to her obviously swollen belly. Feeling a stab of guilt, he jerks his gaze over to his father's smiling face. He could see how the smile was dark around the edges, forced. As that dark wave crashes over him again, Kakashi turns the picture away, no longer able to look at it, slamming it onto the floor.

Kakashi stares dully at the shattered bits of glass and the picture just peeking out from under the back of the shattered frame. Feeling that wave building to bear down on him again, Kakashi jerks over onto his knees and starts digging through the shattered glass, searching desperately for that last memory, the one he knew the wave was bringing down around him. He doesn't feel the glass biting in to his hands as he digs desperately for that memory. When Sasuke jerks his hands up out of the glass, yelling something at him, Kakashi turns dull eyes to the boy. When his gaze settles on a familiar pale face and intense black eyes the wave pulls back and he's able to swim more securely into his own mind.

As Sasuke begins to wrap his hands in the torn bits of shirt, Kakashi finally notices the pain of the cuts, but it's so little in comparison to the pain in his heart, he can ignore it. Realizing that the shirt Sasuke had torn apart to wrap Kakashi's hands with was his favorite, he feels a pang of guilt. He turns his gaze back to the bits of bloody glass and feels a spurt of anger that's quickly lost under the pain and guilt that was always associated with his father's death. Kakashi had spent years trying to lock that memory away, to not let that pain and guilt have a hold in his soul, but he knew now that it was a losing battle, he had to face it. Turning his gaze back up to Sasuke's face, Kakashi watches the concern and determination that lined the boy's face. When Sasuke looks up at him once again, Kakashi lets go of the last of his resistance, letting it come to him.

"Sasuke, even in his grave that bastard can still tear my heart out. He knew it would hurt, that's why he wrote it, I know it is."

"Wrote what, my love?"

Kakashi could hear the careful concern in Sasuke's voice, and in that instant he knew that the boy was scared half out of his mind, but fighting to hold it together. Holding on to that love he knew was a lifeline between the two of them, Kakashi turns his attention back to the shattered picture frame. He winces at the sight of the bloody glass and the lack of consciousness that it hinted at. Holding tighter to that lifeline, Kakashi begins to search carefully through the glass and bits of broken picture frame until he finds that last key to his painful past. Picking up the old bit of paper that he'd folded and hidden away years before behind the only picture of his parents that remained, Kakashi falls back to sit against the desk, looking desperately at Sasuke.

"His suicide note," he whispers.

Sasuke recoils from the short, bitter sentence. Turning his gaze back down to the note, Kakashi laughs, the sound not quite sane. Feeling a chill from the sound of that laugh, Kakashi clamps down in the urge to laugh again, refusing to let himself sink down into that dark abyss. "It was his last jab at me, delivered from his grave."

Slowly, Kakashi unfolds the note and reads it, but instead of feel pain, he feels a great, dark emptiness open up in the middle of his chest and begin to spread slowly outward. He reads the note several more times, then lets it drop to the floor next to him. Closing his eyes, he leans his head back against his desk and murmurs, "It was so cold that afternoon. Seeing him like that chilled my soul. I didn't think I'd ever be warm again, and I didn't think my broken heart would ever heal."

Kakashi hears Sasuke move next to him, but he doesn't speak, doesn't look at him. He just sits in silence, waiting. When he hears Sasuke gasp, he nods, knowing that the boy was reading the note. "He refused to let go of that anger, and I continue to pay the price for it to this day."

The memory comes slowly at first, just a flash here and there. A snippet of conversation that day. The last time he saw his father alive. Then in a tidal wave rush, the memory washes over him and Kakashi is once again thirteen years old and about to get his first taste of death.

_He hadn't seen his father since their last confrontation when he'd finally been told the whole truth. At first he'd been avoiding the man, but he gradually noticed that even when he wasn't actively avoiding the older man, he still didn't see him. Now he was going to find him. He'd had a fight at school; some older boys were saying horrible things about his father, and he had to defend him, no matter how much he was hurt. At home now, his anger at those boys was turning to anger at his father. He deserved more than he ever got from his father and he was going to be sure once and for all that he knew that._

_He was in his study, he always was this time of the afternoon. The only question now was whether or not he had locked the door. "I'll kick that door in if I have to!" he decides, determined to have his say._

_The door isn't locked. He should knock, but he doesn't care. Pushing the door open, he steps into the room. He starts to speak but the words get stuck in his throat. He stares in shock at him. He can't move. He can't breathe. He can't wake up, but surely this is a nightmare. He begins to walk across the room. Why is he walking? His legs are moving on their own._

_"Father?"_

_He's dead. He can see it now. The gun is laying on the floor next to his chair, his hand dangling just above it as if he died reaching for it. He's so still. Not breathing. He's dead._

_"Father?"_

_His eyes are open. They look glassy, but Kakashi can feel that hateful glare still. His head is cocked over to one side as if he were thinking, considering something interesting he had said. He had never listened enough to think anything he said was interesting._

_"Father!?"_

_Blood. There's blood everywhere. And something else. There's chunks mixed in with the blood. He moves again, his legs carrying him around to the side, closer to that mess. He can almost see what was mixed in with the blood. He didn't want to see it!_

_"Father, talk to me!"_

_There's a giant hole in the side of his head. Half of his head is missing as if some giant had reached down and scooped away half of his head. He can see light coming through a much smaller hole at the other end of that gaping crater where the side of his head should be._

_"Father," he whispers breathlessly._

_It's hot. Too hot. But cold. His insides are turning to ice, but he's so hot outside. He starts screaming. There was nothing left to do but scream. At least his legs had stopped making him move closer to what he didn't want to see._

Kakashi jerks out of the memory with a gasp. It surprised him in the small part of his mind that was still capable of rational thought after that memory how the perspective afforded by a child's mind had made a horrible image of that exit wound. He knew in the back of his head that if he saw it again today, it wouldn't be nearly as big as it had seemed then. Kakashi jumps and looks around the study, as if he'd find his father's body there, still staring contemptuously at him after all these years. When his gaze settles on Sasuke who was still staring at the note in horror, tears fill his eyes and silently slide down his cheeks as he remembers that this was his study, not his father's. That room was long gone, eaten away by the fire, though the fire wasn't able to burn the images and the memories from his head. He turns his gaze down to the note in Sasuke's hand and again he slides into the memory.

_He was running. His legs were moving on their own again because he was supposed to be looking at him. He was dead. Nobody was there. He should go back. He shouldn't leave him alone. He remembers the bit of paper that had been sticking out from under the picture of him and mother. He looks down at his hand and realizes he's holding the paper. He drops down onto the floor and unfolds he paper. He stares at the handwriting, knowing that it was his. He can't bring himself to read the note. He doesn't want to know what he said. He doesn't want to know his last thoughts. He doesn't want to stay locked in this nightmare for the rest of his life._

_He feels a tear roll down his cheek and he reads._

Kakashi,

Your words cut me to the bone. I'm not sorry for not loving you. I'm not sorry for the way I treated you. I'm only sorry that I wasn't able to honor your mother's final wish. I'm not sorry I couldn't love you because you took the only person in this world I ever loved. I feel nothing for you. I don't hate you any longer. I go to my grave and my hell with an empty heart. The bullet that ends me also purges the last of that hatred from my soul.

I don't want your forgiveness, and I don't want your pity. I only want to be with your mother again, though I know that I will never see her again, because of you. I hope that she can forgive me. I hope that I can forgive her for loving you even though you were the cause of her death

Don't squander the life she gave you by giving up her own. Make yourself worthy of her love. Or, at least, make yourself as worthy as you can. No one could be worthy of her love. Least of all myself. I'll see you in Hell one day.

_The note wasn't signed. He folds it up and shoves it into his pocket, then lays down, curling up into a tight ball. He doesn't cry, he can't. He can only lay there and hold himself until someone comes. Someone has to come. Someone has to break him free of this nightmare._

Kakashi jerks himself back out of the memory and looks at the note in Sasuke's hand. "I need to get rid of that thing. If I burn it away the way Father's study was burned away in the old house, maybe it will finally burn out those last memories as well, and the pain that always follows them."

Sasuke moves closer to Kakashi, holding the note half crumpled in one fist. He shoves his hand into his pocket and pulls out a lighter. Kakashi has a moment to wish Sasuke had cigarettes with him as well, then takes the note and the lighter. He flicks the wheel on the lighter and stares at the flame for a moment, having a brief flash of memory, standing out in the rain, watching the house burn down, watching the painful memories go up in flames. Except, they hadn't gone up in flames, they'd only hidden away, waiting for the right time to come back. Kakashi slowly moves the flame to the note and watches as the old paper quickly catches, curling and blackening as it burns. He just stares at the flames until Sasuke murmurs his name. He glances at Sasuke, then down at the ashtray Sasuke had placed under the burning note. Kakashi drops the bit of flaming paper just before the flames can lick at his fingers.

When the last of the paper has been burnt down to a curl of black ash, Kakashi closes his eyes and draws a deep breath. "I've burned his hatred. I've held it for too long."

"You're right, you have. I was wondering when that was going to come out. It took longer than I would have expected. Sasuke, you've been a good influence on him."

Kakashi jerks his head up and stares in shock and Dr Tamura standing in his study doorway. "Stan? What are you doing here? How did you know?"

"I'm here for you. Naruto called me."

Sasuke looks up at the doctor, then leans over and hugs Kakashi, whispering in his ear, "Please, let it go. I know it's hard, because I can barely let go of all the pain in my past, but it's time we both started."

Kakashi wraps his arms around Sasuke, holding him tightly for several minutes as the last of his tears silently slide down his cheeks. When he lets go, Sasuke stands up, gives the doctor one last look, then walks out of the room, closing the door behind him. Kakashi looks back at that curl of black ash and draws a deep breath. "I told you about finding my father after he killed himself, but I never told you about the note he left behind for me. I never told you about the pain that I carried for so many years because that crazy bastard left a suicide note for his thirteen year old son."

* * *

**AN:** Happy birthday Sasuke! Er, yeah, I wrote my one-shot for his birthday (posted on AFF, YG and DA if you wanna go find it. :p) and posted it a day early because my head's a mess right now and I thought yesterday was Thursday. lol Don't ask.

Anyway, I had a tough time writing this one. No it wasn't a fight getting it written, it flowed easily. It was just a hell of a lot darker and more graphic than I ever expected it to be. I've never written anything like that before. Needless to say, I'm so glad to be past that part.  
We're in the home stretch! I can see the end, it's finally in sight!

**EDIT: **Thanks for finding the boo-boo I Am The Night Angel! 3


	38. Chapter 38

**AN:** Just a quick warning for anyone that plans to watch Queer As Folk (amazing tv show!) and hasn't yet, there's a spoiler to the first season finale in this chapter. Sorry, the idea was too good to pass up. I used it as a plot device to show the healing between Sasuke and Naruto.

* * *

Sasuke pulls the door closed behind him. Standing tall, he takes several steps down the hall then stops abruptly as if he'd hit a wall. Staggering over to the side, he lifts a hand and presses it against the wall to hold himself upright, but slowly sinks to his knees anyway. Squeezing his eyes closed, clenching his jaws tightly around the sounds that wanted to escape him, Sasuke lets a rage he'd never known build and rip through him. In the wake of his rage, this hatred for the man who had so damaged Kakashi, comes a pain that Sasuke could scarcely grasp. Slumping over and pressing his forehead against the floor, Sasuke lets only one quiet sob escape him before clamping down on it and crying silently. He hurt for Kakashi, hurt for the pain he'd had to grow up with. He hurt for the pain he'd caused the older man. He hurt for the careless words he'd uttered that had brought back all that pain so long and carefully buried.

When the tears finally stop, leaving Sasuke feeling numbly empty, he sits up on his knees and stares dully down the hall. He isn't sure how long he's knelt in the hall releasing all the emotion he dared not let slip in front of Kakashi. Reaching a hand out to brace against the wall, Sasuke carefully climbs to his feet again. He glances back over his shoulder at the closed study door once, then turns forward and starts off down the hall. He stops again after a few steps, making himself consider what his next step would be. Closing his eyes, he prods his numb mind into working again and quickly comes to the decision that he was going to go find Naruto and thank him for not only getting Sasuke into the room to help Kakashi, but for helping himself by having the presence of mind to call Dr Tamura. He doesn't know where to find Naruto, so he decides to start searching the lower level of the house first.

Sasuke moves silently through each room, stopping once to look at a clock and wincing at the hour. He pauses to consider how long he'd been with Naruto being an idiot, and how long he'd been with Kakashi for it to now be the middle of the night. Shaking his head, Sasuke steps back out into the hallway and stops. He listens carefully, hearing soft music coming from nearby. Taking a deep breath, he turns and heads for the TV room, knowing that's where he was going to find Naruto because no one else would be up at this hour. He steps into the room just as Naruto winces at something on the TV. Sasuke hears someone yelling on the screen, but pays it no attention. Instead he stands and watches Naruto who was so engrossed in whatever he was watching. After a few moments he moves into the room and sits down next to Naruto, who glances at him and smiles briefly before looking back at the TV. Sasuke lays his head on his best friend's shoulder and turns his attention to the TV, watching it silently for a moment.

"Who's the hot guy, and why is he crying?"

Naruto glances at Sasuke from the corner of his eye and grins. "You really do like old men, don't you?"

Sasuke glares at Naruto who only laughs and slides an arm around Sasuke's shoulder and turns his attention back to the TV, though the program he'd been watching was now over. "His name is Brian Kinney and he's crying because the guy he loves got his head bashed in by a homophobe."

Sasuke winces and lifts his head from Naruto's shoulder to look up at him. "Why would you watch something so awful?"

Naruto shrugs and picks up the remote and stopping the roll of credits, telling Sasuke that he was watching a DVD and not something on TV. "It's not awful. At least, not completely. There are bad parts in the series, and that was the first and in my opinion, the worst, of it. Actually, you'd probably like this show, I'm surprised Kakashi hasn't got to watching it yet. He told me it's one of his favorite shows. The man's a romantic." Naruto pauses and the humour drains away from his face as he looks seriously at Sasuke. "How is he?"

Sasuke hunches his shoulders, trying not to react to the jolt of anger that came before his worry as he thought about Kakashi. "He's going to be ok, I think. He finally confronted his father's memory and that one last awful thing he did to hurt Kakashi. Dr Tamura will get him through this, I know he will. Thank you for calling him by the way. What made you think to call him?"

Naruto studies Sasuke silently for several long moments before he answers. "I was there Sasuke. I heard what you were hearing while I was picking that lock. I saw him when I opened the door, and when I closed it behind you. I could see that he was pretty messed up. I knew you could help bring him back, but I knew there was no way you could get him all the way back. You haven't even managed to get yourself all the way back yet. So, I ran up to my room, grabbed Dr Tamura's card and called him at home."

Sasuke considers Naruto's answer for a while, then nods as a yawn slips free. "I'm glad one of us is smart at least."

Naruto snorts and tightens his arm around Sasuke in a half hug. "You're plenty smart enough, but you're too close to Kakashi to be able to think rationally when he's so obviously hurting. Look at it this way, you handled the situation better than I handled Gaara's murder."

Sasuke stiffens automatically at mention of what had happened and the trouble it led to between the two of them. "Well then we're both not too bright from time to time," he murmurs as he stretches himself out on the couch, laying his head in Naruto's lap.

Naruto doesn't reply, only rests a hand lightly on Sasuke's shoulder. It's not long before Sasuke feels himself drifting toward sleep and he clings to consciousness for a moment longer, to murmur a question to Naruto. "What happened to the guy Brian loves? Is he dead?"

"You'll find out eventually. If you don't watch this show with Kakashi, we'll watch it together and you'll find out what happens then. How about you get some sleep now. I'm sure Dr Tamura will come let us know if Kakashi needs you. Don't worry, I'll wake you up if he does."

Sasuke wants to protest, but he can't muster the energy. Instead as strange music from the TV fills his ears, Sasuke feels himself drift toward sleep, and soon he stops fighting and lets sleep claim him. Sasuke's sleep was dreamless and when he's awoken by the sound of soft voices, he's considerably rested. Opening his eyes, he glances around the room, at first not sure where he is, then remembering in a rush. He sits up abruptly and glances at Naruto, then looks around the room until he spots Dr Tamura sitting in a nearby chair, sipping a cup of coffee. Sasuke rubs sleep from his eyes, then glares an accusation at Naruto.

"Don't blame him, Sasuke. I asked him to let you sleep a while longer so that we could talk about you behind your back."

When Sasuke can only blink in surprise and gape at the older man, Naruto snickers. Sasuke turns to glare at him, but his best friend is looking at the doctor, not at him. Sasuke turns his gaze back to the doctor and finds the man grinning at him and he relaxes, finally catching on to the fact that he was being teased. He sighs quietly and slumps back against the couch, then jerks back upright, sitting on the edge of the couch. "Kakashi?"

"Has gone to bed. I told him to sleep, but he's probably still awake, waiting for you."

Before Sasuke can ask anything further, Naruto stands, resting a hand lightly on Sasuke's shoulder for a moment before turning and walking out of the room. Sasuke watches him go frowning, then turns his attention back to the doctor. "What's wrong?"

"I'm sure you already know everything that's wrong. Naruto is tired, he went to get some sleep. He sat up well past the state of exhaustion so that he could wake you up if nightmares happened to disturb your sleep."

Sasuke frowns and glances at the door that Naruto had just left through. "I'm so lucky to have him. I don't think I ever knew just how lucky until tonight."

"He's not the only one."

"No, I'm lucky to have them all, I know that."

"That's not what I meant, Sasuke."

Sasuke looks back at the doctor in confusion, then slumps back against the couch. "I don't see it, but I won't argue with you, you're the expert."

"Well, I don't know how much of an expert I am, but I like to think I'm pretty good at my job. A job that you made a lot easier for me tonight. You got from Kakashi the one part of his past I always knew he had hidden, but could never get him to face."

Sasuke frowns and shakes his head in denial. "I didn't do anything. I was just trying to comfort him. I didn't even know what was going on."

Dr Tamura nods and smiles at Sasuke. "And that's precisely what he needed at that moment. You came along when he was ready to let go of that last bit of poison. If Naruto hadn't called, or if you hadn't been there, it likely would have stayed with him for who knows how much longer."

Sasuke drops his gaze, feeling a stab of guilt. "Yeah, but if I hadn't said what I did to him, none of this would have ever had to happen."

"You're wrong about that, Sasuke. It would have still had to happen eventually. You were just the trigger that brought it tonight. Who's to say that if you hadn't said what you said and made him face his pain that when the time finally came, he would have had to face it on his own? To be honest with you, I don't know if he could have faced it on his own. You gave him precisely what he needed to be able to face that pain. You gave him your love, Sasuke. That gift is more priceless than you know."

Sasuke squirms uncomfortably and shakes his head. "Maybe, I don't know. I just know I feel bad for hurting him like I did."

"I know you do, Sasuke. But, how do you think he feels about it?"

Sasuke blinks and looks up at the doctor again, frowning in thought. "I don't know."

Dr Tamura nods, then stands up, holding out the empty coffee cup to Sasuke. "Maybe you should ask him before you waste too much more time on guilt."

Sasuke stands in stunned silence as the doctor walks out of the room. After a few moments he follows the older man, walking behind him to the front door. He wishes the man a good night, then locks the door behind him. He makes a stop in the kitchen to place the coffee cup in the sink, then moves through the house, turning lights off. He pauses once at the door to Kakashi's study. He lifts a hand and rests it lightly on the closed door, letting his head fall forward. As he stands there, he can hear the muffled sounds of Kakashi's sobs again. Sasuke lifts his head and squares his shoulders, letting go of that pain. Turning away from the door, he moves quickly through the hall to the stairs, heading to Kakashi and their bed, needing to hold the man more now than he ever had before.

* * *

**AN: **Sorry this chapter took so long to be posted. Between not sleeping and being busy the past few days, I've not had much time or desire to write. I finally managed to get this chapter written at several points throughout the day yesterday. By the time I finished it was late and I was sure it sucked. Knowing that feeling was likely due to being tired and frustrated with my day, I left it alone and curled up with a book before bed. Came back this afternoon and did the reread/edit and decided it was pretty damn good. :p Personally I love the opening, I think it's the best I've done yet. (It's not often I feel this level of pride in something I write, so if it sucks, let me have my illusion. ;) lol)

The story is close to the end, but another chapter has been added... by me. *shot* I know, I kept complaing about my muse adding chapters, but I realized the ending I had plotted out wasn't going to work. Sasuke has to confront Itachi one more time. He has to.


	39. Chapter 39

Kakashi lay in the near dark feeling empty, drained of thoughts and of feelings. As he'd poured out the story of his father's last dig, Kakashi forgot why he'd kept that one secret from Dr Tamura when he'd told the man everything else about his life. Closing his eyes, he tries to relax himself, but the empty spot next to him kept drawing his attention. Rolling to his side, Kakashi stares at the spot where Sasuke should have been. He reaches out a hand, resting it lightly on the cool sheets. Closing his eyes, Kakashi tries to think about the talk he'd just had with the doctor, but his mind kept shying away from the thoughts. With a sigh, he rolls onto his back again and laces his fingers behind his head. Though he could feel exhaustion and an undeniable need to sleep pulling at him, Kakashi couldn't seem to relax himself to the point of sleep.

When the door at last opens, Kakashi smiles and feels something for the first time since he'd walked out of his office: relief. Without opening his eyes, Kakashi is perfectly aware of every single movement Sasuke makes through the room. In his mind's eye, Kakashi can see Sasuke and everything he did. Smiling again, Kakashi listens to Sasuke's soft movement, knowing that the boy thought he was asleep. "Sasuke, I'm not sleeping. You're going to hurt yourself trying to be so quiet."

The movement stops abruptly, and Kakashi grins when he hears the soft huff from Sasuke before the movements begin again, not quite as silently. "You think I'm not capable of being quiet? I've snuck out of this room several times without your knowledge."

Kakashi finally opens his eyes and turns his head just in time to see Sasuke stepping into the bottoms of a pair of pajamas. "It doesn't count when I'm in the shower and can't hear anything."

Sasuke sticks his tongue out then jerks the top to the pajamas over his head. "You weren't in the shower every time."

"No, but I was in the bathroom. Same difference."

"Anyway, I can be quiet, I'm not that incompetent."

Kakashi reaches out when Sasuke walks over to the side of the bed to put the contents of his jeans pockets onto the bedside table, grabbing the boy's arm and pulling him down onto the side of the bed. "Sasuke, you are many things, but incompetent is not one of them. Never has been, never will be."

Sasuke smiles down at him, making Kakashi's heart thump happily in his chest. "Well, if you say so, then I won't argue with you, since you're always right."

Kakashi grins and nods to Sasuke, letting go of his arm so he can go back to what he was doing. "Just see you remember that and your life will be so much easier."

Sasuke only grunts softly in reply, and Kakashi closes his eyes, lacing his fingers behind his head once again. Sasuke moves through the room quickly and quietly, making Kakashi grin as the boy proves his ability to be quiet. When that weight that he had been missing from the moment he lay down finally settled in the bed next to him, Kakashi rolls to his side and pulls Sasuke into his arms, pressing their lips together in a soft, lingering kiss. Feeling Sasuke mold himself to the front of his body, Kakashi relaxes and draws back from the kiss to smile at the boy. Rather than speak, he just looks into those deep black eyes that had come to represent love for him. Lifting a hand, he runs his fingers through Sasuke's hair, thinking absently how the boy needed a haircut.

"I was so empty when I came up here I couldn't even think," he murmurs to Sasuke. "I'm not talking about anything serious, because that's the last thing I need right now. Any minor thought, about the weather for example, just couldn't seem to form itself in my mind. But the moment I had you in my arms again, my mind cleared away that numb emptiness that always comes after a hard session with Dr Tamura, and I started thinking again. You're good for me Sasuke."

Sasuke smiles at him, but Kakashi can see the uncertainty in his eyes. As much as he wants to reassure the boy, he knows this was something Sasuke was going to have to do for himself. Kakashi had laid the foundation to help Sasuke build his self-esteem, but Sasuke was going to have to build the rest of it for himself. Taking a deep breath, Kakashi tilts his head to press a kiss to Sasuke's forehead. "Hopefully, in the end I'll prove to be good for you too."

"You already are. My life has been so much better since you walked into it."

"Really?" he asks, trying to keep his voice neutral.

"Yes, really! Even with everything that happened with Naruto, and the hard times we've had, my life has been so much better than it was."

"What about--"

"No, don't mention him!"

Kakashi sighs, but nods as he closes his eyes, not wanting to push the boy. "Ok, Sasuke. It's late anyway, how about we just get some sleep? We can talk more in the morning."

Sasuke is silent for so long, Kakashi opens his eyes to find the boy looking at him with a battle of emotion raging across his face. Kakashi tightens his arms around Sasuke, but draws himself back far enough to get a better look at the boy. "Sasuke, what is it? What's wrong?"

Sasuke catches his bottom lip between his teeth, saying nothing for several more minutes, but Kakashi only watches him, giving the boy the time he needs to sort out his thoughts. "I can't leave it like it is."

"Leave what?"

"What Itachi told me. I have to know the truth. Or, barring that, I need to find what I need to be able to deal with it and move on. I need to put him behind me so that I can go on with my life. With our life together."

Kakashi nods and pulls Sasuke in against his chest again. "So, you'll go see him again, and you'll find what you need. When do you want to go?"

"I was thinking I'd go tomorrow. The sooner I get through this, the sooner our lives can really start. You've worked past the last of your pain, now I need to work past the last of mine."

Kakashi doesn't point out that he hadn't worked past that pain yet, that the healing process was a long and slow one. He knew that with Sasuke at his side, healing would come so much easier than it ever would have before. "Fine, we'll go right after breakfast in the morning."

Sasuke stiffens, but Kakashi only holds him tighter, waiting for the objections he knew were coming. "No, I don't think you should go. I think I should do this on my own."

"And what makes you think you _can_ do this on your own?" he asks gently.

Sasuke winces, but some of the tension in him relaxes. "I have to be able to face him on my own two feet, by myself, or he'll continue to haunt me."

"You may be right, but I'm not letting you go by yourself."

"Why not?" Sasuke asks in obvious frustration.

"Two reasons: One, I don't think you'd fare much better this time than you did the first time, and I'm not going to let that bastard get into your head again. Which brings us to my other reason. You promised to let me take care of you."

Sasuke tilts his head to look up at Kakashi, blinking in surprise. "You're right, I did. But, I don't know if I can get what I need if I have you there protecting me."

"I'll tell you what then, I'll go, but I'll stay out of it. I'll be there simply as moral support, silent in the background. If things start to look bad, you'll have me there to cling to until you can find your way through to the finish. I won't let you run again."

Sasuke looks at him silently for a long time, and Kakashi just lays quietly watching the boy think, giving him all the time he needed. "You promise you won't interfere?"

Kakashi shakes his head and smiles a bit sheepishly. "No, I can't promise that. I love you Sasuke, and I don't want to see you hurt. But, I can promise that I will do everything I can to keep from interfering. I'll only speak if you want me to, or if I think you need me to."

Sasuke considers for a much shorter period this time before nodding. "Ok, you can come with me."

"Oh, thank you so much!"

Sasuke grins at him and leans in to lightly press his forehead against Kakashi's throat. Smiling, Kakashi closes his eyes and snuggles to boy tighter against him, nuzzling his chin against the top of Sasuke's head. Relaxing, the tensions of the evening slowly drifting away to be replaced by sleep, Kakashi's last thought before slipping completely into sleep is of Sasuke, and how much he loved the boy. In that instant, Kakashi knew that Sasuke's love was the key to healing old wounds.

* * *

**AN:** I apologize for how long it took me to get this chapter done and how short it is. I've been battling with my muse for days. At first she only wanted to work on the next chapter, which I flat refused to allow. Then she went on strike because I've said no once too often lately. The only thing she'd give me anything about were my two OCs Daitan and Kamoku. Of course, even that was just pictures of the guys together, talking, watching a movie, whatever. Never any concrete story ideas for me to complain about. XD I went to a website I play around at a lot and made avatars for the guys yesterday and that shut her up. I woke up today determined that I'd get this chapter done. As I was finishing up a chapter in the book I was reading, she woke up and started screaming about wanting Kakashi and Sasuke, so of course, by the time I get the laptop booted and the file open, she's silent again. x.x (Have I ever mentioned how much I hate my muse? x.x) In the end, I poked around on the interwebs a bit and found a song that made her at least twitch a bit in my head, then started writing. I thought it was crap, but after I gave myself a break to watch a movie and a couple of episodes of Black Cat (Gawd I love Sven! XD His English VA has a damn sexy voice too. That helps me fangirl. :p) then it was in to editing. I found that it wasn't terrible as I had feared. :D I made a few minor changes, and here it is!  
The next chapter should come much easier because it's the one she's really been wanting to work on for days now. I may get it up tonight. (Probably not, I'm already fighting not to go back to watching Black Cat. lol) But certainly early tomorrow! :D

**EDIT:** Someone on DA found a boo-boo. It's now fixed. I would say I don't know how I missed it, but I do. I was rewriting the last paragraph so their cuddle turned out differently than I had originally written, and that's how I missed it. I don't tend to reread twice, so any changes I make during the edit, don't get read over again and that's how I miss mistakes. Oi! Maybe I should start rereading twice. :P  
(And on a side note, I'm starting to get a summer cold. Sore throat and cough, so my update may not come as quick as I'd like tomorrow, but half of the chapter is written, and I'll get the other half in the morning. Shouldn't be up too late.)


	40. Chapter 40

"Aren't you ready yet, Kakashi? I said I wanted to leave right after--"

Sasuke stops talking abruptly as he looks around the empty bedroom, frowning. After they'd eaten Kakashi had said he needed to come up to the room for something and that he'd be back down quickly. Sasuke had waited patiently for about ten minutes, then frustration and driven him to come in search of the older man. Now, walking further into the empty room, still frowning, Sasuke wonders where Kakashi could have disappeared to, and why. Glancing over to the bathroom doorway and confirming that the light was off, and there was no chance that Kakashi was in that room, Sasuke spins in a heel and storms out of the room. Halfway down the stairs, it occurs to Sasuke where Kakashi had likely gone. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs, Sasuke turns in the direction of Kakashi's study, scowling.

Sasuke pauses only briefly outside of the closed door, his impatience to be off making it easy for him to quickly decide against knocking. He opens the door and steps in, scowling harder when he finds Kakashi sitting behind his desk grinning at him. "You said you were going up to the room. This isn't the room. What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry, Sasuke. I did go up to the room, but I remembered when I got there that my keys weren't there. I'd forgotten that I'd moved them back down to my office after the last time I drove."

The answer Sasuke is ready to snap at the older man is cut off as the phone begins to ring. Shifting impatiently, Sasuke leans against the door jamb and crosses his arms over his chest, glaring at Kakashi as he answers the phone, looking decidedly guilty. "Hello?"

Sasuke lifts a hand and taps on the back of his wrist, even though he wasn't actually wearing a watch. Kakashi smiles brightly at him, making Sasuke's heart skip a beat as most of his anger melts away. "I'll go without you if you stay on that phone too long," he mumbles to himself however.

"Yes, I am Kakashi Hatake." Sasuke sighs as he watches Kakashi. The older man frowns and shakes his head slightly, making Sasuke move further into the room, stopping on the other side of his desk. "My what?"

"Who is it, Kakashi?"

Kakashi waves a hand absently at Sasuke as he listens to the person on the other end of the line. After a few moments, his gaze darts up to Sasuke's face and a grin slides onto his face, making Sasuke frown in confusion. "My husband? Yes, Sasuke."

Sasuke gasps softly and feels heat crawling up his cheeks, having a pretty good idea who was on the other end of the line. Embarrassed, and worried how Kakashi would react to the lie he'd given the hospital Itachi was in, he turns away from the older man, moving across the room to sit on the couch. Tuning out the conversation, Sasuke leans his head forward to hide his face in his hands until the heat finally slides away from his cheeks. When Kakashi speaks from just in front of him, Sasuke jumps and jerks his head up to look at Kakashi who was now grinning down at him. Closing his eyes until his heart stops slamming against his ribs, Sasuke pushes to his feet and opens his eyes to look up at Kakashi again.

"That was Itachi's doctor wasn't it?"

Kakashi nods, still grinning. "Yes, he was calling to check on you. He said that he hadn't been able to get Itachi to tell him until this morning about your conversation with him. The receptionist had already told him about your quick exit, so he was worried."

Sasuke squirms and drops his gaze to Kakashi's chest, suddenly unable to look at him even though the older man was still grinning at him. "How'd he get your number anyway?"

"Well, you did use my last name, and Itachi told him my first name, which I assume he got from you. Not very difficult to find a phone number when you have a name."

"Oh, yeah, I guess you're right."

"My husband, huh?" Sasuke feels heat flare across his face again and whispers a soft curse. When Kakashi chuckles and pulls Sasuke into his arms, he relaxes instantly. "Don't be embarrassed. It's ok with me if you want to call yourself my husband. I kind of like the idea. Maybe some day we'll make it official. For now, let's just go see Itachi. Dr Naiteki said he wants to talk with you before you go in to see him."

Sasuke blinks up at Kakashi, surprised at the casualness with which he talked about marriage. Mention of Itachi pulls him from his thoughts however and he nods, frowning. "Fine, just as long as he doesn't try to talk me out of talking to him again."

Kakashi reaches down and takes one of Sasuke's hands into his, then lifts the car keys in front of Sasuke, jingling them softly. "I don't think he has any plans to try, no, so don't worry. Now, let's go."

They made one stop on the way to the car, poking their heads into the kitchen to tell everyone goodbye, and Sasuke wanted to double check with Naruto when he would be back from the errand he wouldn't tell anyone about. Once they reach the car, Sasuke has an inexplicable case of nerves that stop him from being able to get into the vehicle. Lifting his gaze over the top of the car to look at Kakashi settles his nerves enough to allow him to climb into the vehicle and buckle on his seatbelt. He leans his head back against the seat and closes his eyes, trying to clear his mind so his nervousness couldn't get a foothold. The closer they got to the hospital the harder it became from Sasuke to hold his nerves at bay. Just when he thinks he's going to snap, Kakashi reaches across the car and gives Sasuke's hand a light squeeze. He turns his gaze to the older man, smiling warmly. As he watches, Kakashi pulls a CD case out of the pocket in the driver's side door, flipping through the pages of CDs without looking, his gaze never leaving the road. Pulling out the CD he wants, he slides it into the CD player and skips to a certain song. As the song begins to play, Kakashi tucks the CD case back into its home, and Sasuke can feel Kakashi's gaze slide to him from time to time as he listens to the song.

When the song ends, Sasuke turns his head to look at Kakashi, grinning. "How do you always know what song to play? How do you always know what I need to hear?"

Kakashi grins back, but his gaze remains resolutely forward. "Because I know you. Besides, I remember how much you told me this song meant to you and Naruto. I figured if you could remember how strong you used to be when you were on your own, that you could find the strength I know you have now with me at your side."

Sasuke starts to reply, but stops when he realizes that the car was stopped. He glances around the parking lot and feels his heart thump once, painfully against his chest, then fall into a slow trot. Taking a deep breath, he turns his attention back to Kakashi and nods. "I can do this. Let's go."

Without waiting for a reply, Sasuke steps out of the car and walks around to the other side. He slips his hand into Kakashi's and starts off toward the building, not feeling the same sense of foreboding he had the first time he'd walked up to this building. He knew that just having Kakashi there was going to make a bigger difference than he could have imagined, and he was more grateful to the older man than he could express.

Surprisingly, when they walk in the door, they find Itachi's doctor standing there waiting for them. Sasuke frowns and steps ahead of Kakashi slightly, letting his hand slip out of the older man's. "Hello, Dr. Naiteki. How'd you know when we'd be here?"

The older man smiles politely at them both and motions for them to follow him back to his office, answering as they walk. "I didn't, not exactly. But I had a pretty good idea of when you'd arrive after my talk with your husband this morning. I've been poking in and out since then, waiting for you to arrive."

Sasuke blushes at the mention of Kakashi being his husband. He debates telling the doctor the truth, but when he glances back at Kakashi and sees the older man smiling pleasantly, a twinkle of laughter in his eyes, Sasuke decides to keep his mouth shut and make Kakashi pay for his amusement when they returned home. Sasuke glances around the doctor's stark office when they arrive, then moves over to sit down in one of the chairs in front of his desk, glancing at Kakashi again when he sits in the other. He turns his attention back to the doctor when he sits in his own chair behind the desk and leans forward slightly, clasping his hands in front of himself on the desk.

"I wanted to ask you Sasuke, what exactly did Itachi tell you about his past? I'm not sure if he really told me everything he'd said to you or not."

Sasuke frowns at the question, but answers. "He told me he was my father. He said he raped mother and that's where I came from. He said he killed our family because he could. He said he did it because he thought I'd be better off growing up without them. He said he didn't kill me because he loves me, because I'm his son."

Sasuke reaches out next to himself, groping for Kakashi's hand, and the moment be feels the warmth of the older man's hand engulfing his, Sasuke relaxes. Closing his eyes for a moment, Sasuke resettles his nerves and continues. "I didn't stick around to get many more answers beyond that. I was too upset, because I foolishly fell right into the trap he set for me and believed him. That's why I'm here today. I'm going to get the complete truth out of him, one way or another."

Dr Naiteki nods and leans back in his chair, studying Sasuke intently for a few moments before he speaks. "He's told me that particular story several times. I don't know that I believe it's true, but I think it's possible he could have been capable of doing something like that, no matter how young he had to have been at the time. Itachi's problems weren't the result of anything that happened as he grew up, and it wasn't the fault of your parents. To put it simply, he was born that way. There was nothing your parents could have done to stop Itachi from turning out as he did.

"They did institutionalize him once when he was younger, around the time he claims to have raped your mother. You'd have been barely two years old when he was released and allowed to go back to your parents. I have a hard time imagining it because he doesn't bother to try anymore, but he is apparently quite capable of acting as people would expect him to act. Acting sane, if you prefer. I've asked him why he didn't keep up his act, or why he doesn't try it now, and he only tells me there's no point and that the idea bores him."

Sasuke frowns and glances over at Kakashi, finding the older man also frowning. Looking back at the doctor, Sasuke sighs and shakes his head. "So, if he's had these problems all his life, why wouldn't my parents have been able to see through his act?"

"As I said, your brother must have been an accomplished actor. Or, just as likely, your parents allowed themselves to see what they wanted to see. I have no doubt that they loved your brother, and likely felt guilty for his problems."

Sasuke shakes his head, then lets got of Kakashi's hand and pushes to his feet. "Well, we'll never know that now, Itachi made sure of that. Now, can I go see my brother?"

"Are you sure you're up to it, Sasuke?"

"Of course not, but I have Kakashi with me to keep me from bolting when Itachi tries to suck me into one of his little head-games again. I'm going to get my answers so I can get on with my life."

Dr Naiteki nods and stands up as well, motioning toward the door. "Well then, let's go get your answers." At a look from Sasuke, the older man shakes his head and smiles. "No, I won't be there. Itachi won't talk to you with me in the room. It'll be just like it was last time, with only the addition of your husband." The doctor glances at Kakashi and smiles politely at him. "It's actually a very good idea that you're here with your husband Mr Hatake. Itachi has got quite a strong hold over Sasuke, and I don't think he can break that hold on his own."

Kakashi nods and smiles grimly at the doctor. "I know that. I'm here to be sure that Sasuke does break that hold.

The doctor nods and pulls his office door open, leading them off down the hall. "Follow me gentlemen."

* * *

**AN:** Again with the apologies! Sheesh! Ok, I'm sorry this is up so late. (I know, 4 in the afternoon (my time) isn't late, but I had planned on having this up around 1 or so. Here's my excuses! XD I only managed to get the first half of the chapter written last night because my eyes were so badly dry my contacts wouldn't stay in place, so, rather than finish it, I went to bed. (I give up quickly when I don't feel well.) I'm battling my first summer cold of the season and feel quite icky. And, most important of all, I was watching Kakashi Gaiden! *fangirl squeals* Yes, it's finally released! I loved watching young Kakashi kicking some butt. I gasped when the boulder fell on Obito (even though I knew it was going to happen. lol) and cried when Kakashi has his mini-breakdown because of it. Then I finished the chapter! XD  
Also, I know everyone was expecting Itachi in this chapter. Sorry again. :x But with the unexpected addition of Dr Naiteki, the chapter would have been way too long. By pushing it to the next chapter, I give myself two advantages: I can make it much longer than it was originally going to be in this chapter, giving the boys more time to fight, and it gives poor Kakashi something to do. Since he's just going to be in the background, I'd feel kind of guilty not giving him any lines or what have you. This way, we can at least see the whole thing through his eyes. I think that will add something to the encounter.  
So, there you go. Provided that I don't start feeling any worse than I do right now (which is bad enough) the next chapter should be up tomorrow.


	41. Chapter 41

Kakashi gives Dr Naiteki one last glance as he steps into the room behind Sasuke. When the door closes behind him, he stops and leans back against it, watching Sasuke move stiffly across the room, sitting tensely on one of the chairs on their side of the table. As he sat, Kakashi got his first good look at the elder Uchiha, and it takes every ounce of self-control he can muster to keep from gasping in surprise at just how similar the two men looked. He had of course seen a picture of the elder Uchiha in the papers after the murders, but even that wasn't enough to prepare him for just how similar they really were. Forcing himself to relax, Kakashi pulls his gaze away from Itachi and settles it on the tense line of Sasuke's shoulders.

"I knew you'd be back, son."

"Don't call me that you fucking bastard," Sasuke grits out through his teeth. "Even if what you said is true, which to be honest I don't think I believe, it doesn't give you the right to call me your son. Being a forced seed donor isn't enough to make you a father. So, even if you are, in my eyes, you never will be."

Itachi smirks and his cold black gaze slowly drifts from Sasuke to Kakashi. "So, you must be the husband." When Kakashi doesn't reply, Itachi only smirks harder. "You know, he's only sixteen. I can clearly see you're much older than eighteen, closer to my age I'd guess. That's illegal. Your marriage doesn't exist legally. I could have you arrested you know."

Kakashi flicks his gaze to Sasuke's stiff back, then looks back at Itachi again. "Is that so? What pray tell, would you have me arrested for?"

Itachi leans back in the chair, tugging at the white shirt he was wearing, settling it as if it were a fancy suit jacket. "Why, for statutory rape, of course. It's illegal to have sex with a minor."

Kakashi can't stop the smirk that he feels spreading over his face. "There are only a few problems with your idea, however, Itachi. The first, and most obvious being that no police agency is going to take the word of a psychotic mass murderer. But that's neither here nor there since not only are Sasuke and I not having sex yet, he _is_ of legal age. The age of consent for boys is sixteen. The laws have changed since you've been here."

Itachi's condescending demeanor begins to slip slightly and Kakashi has to fight back a triumphant smirk. He turns his gaze back to Sasuke, effectively ignoring Itachi. He can feel the heated gaze of the older Uchiha as his anger slowly increases. Clearly Itachi wasn't used to not having the upper hand when he started his little games.

"Honestly, you expect me to believe that you married my son, but aren't having sex with him?"

"I honestly don't care what you believe," Kakashi replies blandly, never taking his eyes from Sasuke.

Before Itachi has a chance to say anything more, Sasuke jumps up and slams his hands down on the tabletop and leans over the table closer to Itachi, drawing his brother's attention. "Look you son of a bitch, _I'm_ the one here to talk to you! Leave Kakashi out of this!"

Itachi turns his gaze back to Sasuke and Kakashi can see as well as feel the level of anger drop again as the smirk he'd had earlier slides back onto his lips again. "Sure, thing, son. Whatever you like."

"Look, I told you not to fucking call me that!"

Kakashi steps forward, placing a hand on Sasuke's shoulder. He keeps his hand there until he feels the last of the tension drain out of Sasuke. He gives Sasuke's shoulder one last squeeze before moving back across the room to lean against the door once again, feeling Itachi's glare almost as it if were a physical thing, boring into his body. He ignores Itachi however, watching Sasuke gather himself before speaking again.

"Dr Naiteki said that you were committed around the time I would have been conceived. Why did Mother and Father have you put into the hospital then?"

Itachi turns his glare away from Kakashi, smirking at Sasuke once again. "Because they didn't want me to have to go to jail."

"Go to jail for what?"

"Rape, Sasuke. I told you, I'm your father."

Sasuke tenses again, but Kakashi stays back, watching him more closely now. "So, what you're saying, is rather than have you put in jail for raping Mother, they chose to have you committed instead?"

Itachi nods, a nasty grin taking the place of the smirk. "Yes. They loved me and thought that if I got help, I'd go back to being the sweet little boy I used to be. The poor idiots didn't know that I was never the sweet little boy they thought I was. I never loved them, but it wasn't hard to make them think I did. Especially once I found the pleasure of torturing the neighborhood pets. I'd catch a cat or a dog running around and I'd vent my hatred on them so that I could keep pretending to be the loving son they always wanted."

Kakashi feels his stomach flip over as his breakfast threatens to revisit at Itachi's casual manner when talking about such horrendous things. Seeing Sasuke reaching back behind him, Kakashi steps up to the chair and sets his hands on Sasuke's shoulders again. He leans down and whispers softly in Sasuke's ear, "Let it go, Sasuke. Don't forget he's likely just saying whatever he thinks will get the best reaction out of you. Don't fall into his mind games."

Sasuke nods and takes a deep breath before resuming his conversation with his brother. "When you got out, did Mother and Father tell you why they were letting you come back home?"

"They didn't have to. They loved me and they thought I was cured. It was nothing to convince those idiot doctors that I was a nice, sane boy again after so many years of pretending for everyone else. After that time, it was easier to convince them that I was 'normal' because the doctors said I was, and they had you to worry about. You got most of their attention."

Sasuke sits quietly for a long time and Itachi just continues to smirk at him, clearly ignoring Kakashi now, which was fine with him. Kakashi begins to rub Sasuke's shoulders lightly, trying to keep the boy relaxed as he worked through everything he needed to work through.

"If you really did what you said you did to Mother, why did you do it?"

"Rape, Sasuke, it's called rape. Can't even bring yourself to say the word? You're softer than I feared."

Kakashi squeezes Sasuke's shoulders again, but the boy doesn't seem to notice as he leans closer to the table, growling at Itachi, "Fine! Why did you rape Mother?"

Itachi leans back and smirks at Sasuke again, then shrugs. "The neighborhood had gotten tired of pets going missing and had stopped getting them. I was bored and I needed something to alleviate the destructive urges inside of me. Besides, Mother used to always say how much she loved me. I figured if she loved me that much, it should be expressed physically."

Kakashi feels Sasuke jerk under his hands, and he uses the boy's reaction to push down his own reaction to the cold, casual and disgusting answer. Feeling his phone vibrate on his hip, Kakashi gives Sasuke's shoulders one last squeeze, then steps back to the door again. He pulls his cell phone from its case on his hip, flips it open and quickly reads the text message he'd just received:

_Everything should be ready in a couple of hours. Naruto called and asked that Charles come pick him up at noon. Take Sasuke to lunch if you need to pass the time so that you don't arrive back home until noon so that both boys will be here at the same time._

Kakashi smiles at the message and quickly types a one word reply, before flipping his phone closed and sticking it back into its case at his hip as he walks back over to Sasuke, placing his hands back on the boy's shoulders. He smiles down at Sasuke and gives his head a small shake to relieve any worries the boy might have when he turns to look back at him. Sasuke frowns slightly, but nods and turns his attention back to his brother. Kakashi feels his shoulders rise and fall with a deep breath and he gives those shoulders another reassuring squeeze.

"Why did you kill them, Itachi?"

"You asked me that yesterday."

"And I'm going to keep asking it until I get the truth out of you! I'm sick of your fucking lies! Or is it that you're so damn batshit crazy that you don't even remember yourself now why you did it?"

Itachi glares at Sasuke, and Kakashi ducks his head down to hide his grin of pride that Sasuke was starting to turn the mind games back onto Itachi, gaining the upper hand in this convoluted game the older Uchiha seemed determined to play.

"They were talking about sending me away again. They wanted to keep me away from you."

"You were eighteen, Itachi, they couldn't have you committed against your will."

Itachi blinks at Sasuke, clearly surprised by this reply. "Maybe, maybe not. Let's not forget, little brother, I've been committed before and they had a young child to worry about. With father's influence and power, do you really think it would be hard for them to convince a judge to over-turn my rights and have me declared incompetent? They told me I could either go away to some damn hospital and get some help, or I could just leave and never come back again. I didn't care if I never saw them again, but I wasn't willing to give you up.

"I wasn't willing to go back to some damn hospital though. You don't know true boredom until you've been in a place like this. So, in the end, I knew I only really had one choice. They had to die. I knew that if they were dead they couldn't keep me away from you. I killed off the rest of the family so that they couldn't take you in and turn you against me or keep me away from you. I knew that if they were all dead, I could have you to myself, I could see you any time I wanted."

Kakashi steps back when Sasuke pushes his chair back and stands up. Sasuke reaches back and Kakashi immediately takes the boy's hand in his, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "There's only one problem with that, Itachi. I don't _want_ to see you. I don't _want_ to have anything to do with you. I didn't need our family to turn me against you. You did that yourself. You ruined my life. But, now I have a new life, and I'm happy, and you're not going to ruin this one. Goodbye Itachi."

Sasuke turns, ignoring Itachi's spluttered, shocked protests and leads Kakashi out of the room. Once they were in the hall, Kakashi pulls Sasuke into his arms and gasps softly when the boy nearly collapses against him. Leaning down, he wraps his arms tightly around Sasuke, holding him as he shakes in reaction to everything he'd just heard. Kakashi himself, disgusted and shocked by so much of what Itachi had said, saves his reaction for a private moment later, giving all of his attention to helping Sasuke through his own.

* * *

**AN:** This chapter is brought to you by "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)" and "Basket Case" by Green Day.  
lol  
So, I needed something to prod my muse, and a change in music is just what the doctor ordered. Those two songs jumped out at me, maybe not for the lyric content, but the sound and just the freakin' titles. XD So, this chapter was written with those two songs on repeat.

Yes, this chapter would have been up earlier, but I'm just going to wave the "I'm sick" flag and go from there. When I'm sick I don't sleep at night, I nap during the day. So, after not sleeping last night, I still got up and wrote this chapter first thing. And it drained me completely. (After rereading it to edit, I can see why. Wow!) So, I stretched out in the recliner to rest and watch Animal Cops: Phoenix... and fell asleep. lol After a much needed nap, I got the edit done and here it is.  
This chapter turned out so much better than I expected. I didn't know a damn thing that Itachi was going to say until he said it, and I was totally freaked out by how nuts he was as I wrote it. Then, when I reread it, I was even more freaked out. He really is nuttier than squirrel shit. XD I also realized that I've got to add another chapter to this because with so much that was said and such a strong reaction, I need to delve more deeply into Sasuke's reaction to what Itachi has just said. So, rather than one more chapter, there are 2. I'm already wanting to write the next chapter, but I think I'm going to have another nap instead. (Or, more likely, I'll stretch out in the recliner and try again to watch Animal Cops. Thank goodness for the DVR. :p)


	42. Chapter 42

Everything that he'd fought to not let Itachi see all seemed to come pouring out of him at once, the moment the door closed behind him. With the last of his strength, Sasuke leans in against Kakashi, grasping weakly at the lapels of his suit jacket. Turning his head, he buries his face against Kakashi's chest, sobbing silently, shuddering with a confused mix of fear and anger. He barely notices when Dr Naiteki walks up to them and murmurs something to Kakashi. Sasuke lets go of Kakashi's suit jacket when the older man scoops him up into his arms, carrying him off down the hall. By the time they reach Dr Naiteki's office, Sasuke has gathered himself enough to stop crying, through fear still gripped him. He slumps against Kakashi's chest when the older man sits down, holding Sasuke in his lap.

Turning his head to look around the room, Sasuke's gaze locks onto the doctor who was sitting on the edge of his desk, watching Sasuke in concern. "He's completely nuts. He's insane!"

Dr Naiteki nods and glances at Kakashi briefly before looking back at Sasuke. "He is."

Closing his eyes, Sasuke shudders hard once, then wraps his arms around himself as he begins to shiver violently. "Shit! If he's really my father, I could wind up going batshit crazy too. I don't want to kill anyone!"

Sasuke barely notices when Kakashi moves to slip out of his suit jacket before draping it over his shoulders. He turns his head to look up at Kakashi, his face twisted with his quickly growing, unreasoning terror. "Kakashi, I don't want to be crazy."

"Don't worry, Sasuke, you're not crazy. I don't think you're going to be either."

"Your husband is right Sasuke. You don't have to worry about the hereditary passage of Itachi's particular form of insanity, even if he is your father. Don't forget he was born the way he is. You clearly weren't."

Sasuke glances over at the doctor, hearing the man speak, but unable to comprehend what he's hearing as the terror wreaks havoc with his mind. He feels Kakashi's arms tighten around him and turns his face against the older man's chest again, trying to force himself to calm down, pushing all of his fears into the back of his mind, trying to force everything out of his conscience. It takes quite a while for Sasuke to realize that he can hear Kakashi's voice, drifting softly into his ear. He lifts his head and glances up at Kakashi through his bangs, watching the older man who was watching him so intently. When his eyes lock on Kakashi's, Sasuke realizes the older man is singing quietly to him.

"If you need to fall apart, I can mend a broken heart. If you need to crash, then crash and burn, you're not alone."

Just from the sound of Kakashi's voice, Sasuke feels himself calming, and everything he'd been trying to hide away in the back of his mind so he didn't have to deal with it, came slipping back in. Rather than panic, Sasuke embraced it and forced himself to remain calm, never taking his eyes from Kakashi's. At last the unrelenting fear for his own sanity begins to ebb and fade. He continues to look into Kakashi's eyes, gradually realizing that Kakashi had stopped singing and was watching him with undisguised relief. Blinking, Sasuke opens his mouth to say something but stops when Kakashi's jerks him into his arms. Sasuke wraps his arms tightly around the older man and breathes deeply, the scent that was distinctly him.

"Don't ever do that, Sasuke."

"Do what?"

"Try to push everything away, to pack it into some dark hole where you don't have to deal with it. Don't hold on to that pain. You came here to let it go, now do it."

Sasuke nods and sits back, looking into Kakashi's eyes again. "I did. But, how did you know what I was doing?"

"I wasn't sure at first. You were so tense, then started to relax abruptly. I pulled back far enough to get a look at you. It was the look on your face the made me certain what you were doing."

"What look?"

"One moment your face was twisted with fear and panic, the next it went completely blank. The only way you can drop such strong emotion so quickly is by packing it away in the dark so you don't have to deal with it."

At the mention of his fear, Sasuke abruptly remembers where they are and who they're with. He turns his gaze to Dr Naiteki, but the older man was watching Kakashi curiously. Sasuke turns slightly, leaning in against Kakashi so he could see the doctor, but still be able to hold on to Kakashi.

"What were you saying to him to bring him out of that so quickly, Mr Hatake?"

"I wasn't saying anything. I was singing. I was reminding Sasuke that he doesn't have to deal with all these hard times on his own anymore."

"Well that was just brilliant. I'm guessing you've done something like this before."

Kakashi nods slightly and tightens his arms around Sasuke. "Yes, something like that. Both ways."

Dr Naiteki looks curiously at Kakashi for several moments longer, clearly hoping that he would elaborate on his explanation, but when he doesn't he nods and turns his attention back to Sasuke. "Since I don't think you heard me before, Sasuke, I'll tell you again. You needn't worry about developing Itachi's particular form of insanity. He was born with it, and you clearly weren't. But, if you allow yourself to worry and stress over it, you're just as likely to develop your own mental health issues."

Sasuke nods, then turns his head, resting his cheek against Kakashi's chest. "I know that. I'm working to let go of things like this. I have my own doctor that's helping me through these things."

Dr Naiteki smiles and nods, then pushes to his feet and walks over to stand in front of them. "That's good to know. I'll leave you two alone to talk privately. If you ever have any other questions, feel free to call me."

Sasuke nods and smiles absently for the doctor, then closes his eyes, leaning against Kakashi until he hears the door click closed behind the departing doctor. Opening his eyes, he turns his head and looks up at Kakashi again. "Thank you for saving me again."

"You don't need to thank me. I'm going to keep saving you as long as I live, any time you need to be saved. I love you, Sasuke."

Sasuke smiles and turns to wrap his arms tightly around Kakashi, burying his face against the older man's chest as the first warm tear rolls down his cheek. "And I love you, Kakashi."

Sasuke remains like this, silently holding Kakashi and letting himself heal from the wounds he'd just received from his last visit with his brother, for a long time. Sasuke isn't aware of the passage of time as it's not important to him. After a while he stirs and lifts his head, looking up at Kakashi to find the older man looking quietly down at him. Smiling, Sasuke leans up and catches the older man's lips with his own, lingering over the soft caress for several heartbeats, before drawing back with another smile.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot to ask, what was the message you got earlier?"

Kakashi lifts both eyebrows in surprise, then smiles at Sasuke. "I'm surprised that you not only noticed what had pulled me away from you, but remembered it after everything you just learned.

"It was from Ms Mimi, she was letting me know that Naruto expected to be back shortly after noon."

"Did he say where it was he was going?"

"No, he only called to ask that Charles come get him at noon. Don't worry so much Sasuke, I told you, he'll probably tell you all about it when he gets back."

Sasuke nods and lays his head against Kakashi's chest again. "Well, then, how about we go home and wait for him?"

Kakashi shifts, letting go of Sasuke with one arm so he can look at his watch. When he wraps his arm back around Sasuke, he's chuckling softly. "Actually, we've been here so long, we'll likely be getting home right around the same time as Naruto."

Sasuke gasps in surprise and sits up, grabbing Kakashi's arm and pulling it out from behind him to look at his watch. He's shocked to discover that it is indeed shortly after noon. He blinks and lets go of Kakashi's arm, looking up at the older man. "How long have we been sitting here like this?"

Kakashi grins at him and shrugs. "Well, I can't say for sure, but certainly for a long while. Shall we go home then?"

Sasuke nods and slips out of Kakashi's lap with a soft pang of regret. He pulls the older man's suit jacket off and hands it back to him. He picks up his own coat that the doctor had brought into the room and laid on the couch and slips into it as he looks at Kakashi. "How come you dressed up today anyway?"

Kakashi grins and lifts a hand, rubbing lightly at the back of his head. "I was playing the part of your rich husband, hoping to intimidate your brother into keeping his head games to a minimum. I guess it didn't really work."

Sasuke grins and shrugs his shoulders as he steps over to Kakashi and slips his hand into the older man's. "Maybe it did, who's to say? Maybe it would have been worse if you hadn't been there being so distracting."

Kakashi chuckles and shakes his head as he turns to the door, tugging Sasuke gently behind him. "Maybe you're right. Let's go home."

* * *

**AN:** I got a chapter up early! Woo! lol This feat was managed by my having written this chapter last night. I'd have posted it last night as well, but I decided I'd rather watch Black Cat. I figure an anime addiction is much more healthy then letting my muse drive me insane with incessant writing. XD I say this because I know if I'd edited and posted this chapter last night, she'd have demanded I start the last chapter.

Again, I thought I'd throw out there I lay no claims to any characters in this chapter except the good doctor. Also, the song Kakashi was singing, I also lay no claim to. :p If you don't remember, it's "Crash & Burn" by Savage Garden and all credits go to them. (Ironically, this chapter was written without that song being listened to once. Actually, I had "Numb" by Linkin Park on repeat. I have now officially fallen into the pit having found a song by LP that I like. *sigh* XD)

Next chapter should be written later tonight and hopefully up tonight. If not, certainly tomorrow. :) (I have a busy day, stupid cold permitting.)


	43. Chapter 43

The ride home passes in silence. Sasuke had buckled himself in and proceeded to draw into himself the moment the car door closed behind him. Kakashi found himself glancing over from time to time to make sure Sasuke was ok. He didn't like the silence, but he understood Sasuke's need for it. Close to home, Kakashi reaches out and settles a hand on Sasuke's knee. He feels Sasuke's eyes on him when the boy turns his head, but he doesn't take his eyes from the road, or his hand from Sasuke's knee.

"I love you, Kakashi."

Kakashi smiles and finally glances over at Sasuke, seeing the boy smiling at him. Lifting his hand from Sasuke's knee, Kakashi rests it on the boy's cheek, rubbing his thumb back and forth over his cheekbone. "And I love you Sasuke."

His worry alleviated by one smile from Sasuke, Kakashi relaxes, concentrating on the last few minutes of the drive. When he pulls in, he sees the limo just coming to a stop in front of the house. He glances at Sasuke and smiles before pulling into the garage and turning the car off. He starts to say something to the younger male, but Sasuke quickly unbuckles himself and jumps out of the car, running out of the garage in the direction of the limo and Naruto. Chuckling, Kakashi unbuckles his own seatbelt and slides out of the car. He takes his time about walking out, pausing to close the garage door behind him before walking over to where Sasuke and Naruto were standing.

"You were with _who_?" Sasuke yelps in surprise.

"I was with Kankuro. What, you go deaf?"

"What the hell were you doing with him?"

"What difference does it make to you who I'm with? You've got Kakashi, I'm not allowed to have anyone for myself?"

Kakashi has to fight back a grin at this question and the look it gets from Sasuke. Stepping up behind Sasuke, he wraps his arms around the boy and draws him back against his chest. "He has a point you know."

Sasuke looks back at him, scowling then turns his attention back to Naruto. "Yeah, except Naruto is straight."

"You mean, like you're straight?"

Sasuke stiffens and turns his head to look up at Kakashi again. "What are you talking about?"

"The night we met, you insisted rather strongly that you're straight."

Sasuke continues to scowl at Kakashi for a moment, though the faint red brightening his cheeks takes much of the intended sting out of it. Kakashi grins at the boy and leans down, kissing him lightly before turning his attention to Naruto. "Who's Kankuro, anyway?"

"Gaara's older brother. Do you remember the guy at the police station I was talking to when you came back in after your phone call?"

"That's who that was? I was wondering. I knew the detectives had been talking to him before we arrived, and I saw the look that passed between you as he came out of the room and you went in. It made me wonder, but with everything that's happened recently, I never got the chance to ask you about it."

Naruto nods, then turns his head to look at Sasuke, though he was clearly still talking to Kakashi. "Kankuro was almost as bad to Gaara as their father was. Of course, I knew from the start that that was a matter of necessity for Kankuro. If he'd tried to protect his little brother, he'd have gotten worse than Gaara was getting. It was all about survival. Of course, knowing that didn't make me hate him any less. I always thought that as Gaara's older brother he should be willing to sacrifice anything to protect him, but he never did."

"I still say that asshole enjoyed the things their father made him do to Gaara," Sasuke grumbles.

Naruto shakes his head and frowns at Sasuke. "No, actually he didn't. That's why I was with Kankuro. I needed to find out why he came to the police and told them about his father killing Sanari. He'd never cared about Gaara before, why would he care enough now to try to bring to justice his father for killing the man who killed Gaara? So, I asked him. Turns out he'd finally managed to get himself far enough out from under his father's thumb that he'd begun to try to make amends to Gaara. They were starting to get close again. Then their father found out somehow and got from Kankuro Gaara's whereabouts. That's how he'd found Gaara again that night I ran into him after leaving work. Then Sanari happened. Their dad just lost it. Kankuro said he went into a rage like he'd never seen before and never wanted to see again and left the house. He said he followed his dad because he was scared and wanted to know what was happening, which I think was just flat-out stupid, so he saw it when his father killed Sanari."

"What took him so long to come forward with the truth?"

Kakashi glances down at Sasuke, glad to see that the boy was calming down again. "I was just about the ask the same thing."

"Fear, pure and simple. He was afraid that if he came forward with what he knew, his father would kill him too before the police could get to him, so he kept silent with guilt eating at him."

"What made him change his mind?"

"His father's dead. He went out to a bar right after that bad storm we had and got himself plastered, then on the way home got plastered against a wall. So, since the old man was dead, Kankuro knew he didn't have anything else to worry about, so he came to the police and told them what he'd seen."

Before anyone else can ask any other questions, the front door opens and Ms Mimi steps out, hands propped on ample hips. "Are you fools going to stay out there all day freezing your tails off, or are you going to get in this house?"

Kakashi glances over at the older woman and grins. "We're coming in." He turns his attention back to the boys and grins winder. "We've got a surprise for the two of you."

Naruto looks curiously at Kakashi, but Sasuke looks positively suspicious as he looks up at him making Kakashi chuckle. Rather than answer that suspicion, he reaches up and places his hands over Sasuke's eyes, then nods at Charles, who steps over from the limo and places his hands over Naruto's eyes.

"What's going on?" Sasuke protests.

"I told you, it's a surprise. Now hush and let us do this."

No further protests are uttered and they group sets off for the house. After much tripping and laughter, the group finally reach the sitting room. Kakashi glances at Charles and nods and they both drop their hands away from the boys' eyes and step back, watching their reaction. The room had been decorated with many bright, twinkling lights and other trappings of the holiday season. In the center of the room stood a giant Christmas tree, heavily decorated with many layers of lights and ornaments, the entire area under it hidden by mounds of presents. Sasuke and Naruto just stand gaping at the sight, neither moving so much as a finger.

"Merry Christmas, boys!" cries Ms Mimi. the sentiment quickly echoed by Roger who was sitting on a chair nearby and smiling at the two boys.

Kakashi leans over Sasuke and whispers, "Our first Christmas."

Sasuke turns his head and looks up at Kakashi blankly, then looks around at the other people in the room, his eyes filling with tears. "I haven't had a proper Christmas since I was a little kid."

"I've never had one," Naruto offers softly.

Kakashi sighs and wraps his arms around Sasuke, hugging him back against his chest. "Well, you'll have to wait until next year for a proper Christmas. We missed Christmas. It came and went while you and Naruto were gone. Since this is our family's first Christmas, and since we all need something bright in our lives right now, I decided that we'd just have our Christmas a little late this year."

As he talked, Ms Mimi went through the group taking everyone's coats and heads off to put them away. When she returns, Kakashi smiles at her and lets go of Sasuke, giving him a small push toward the tree. "So, go open your presents."

Sasuke stops about halfway there and looks back at Kakashi. "But, we haven't gotten anything for any of you," he protests.

Kakashi shakes his head. "Just having the two of you here is gift enough for all of us. As for me alone, just having you to love is all I could ever want."

Kakashi walks past Sasuke and picks up one small, brightly wrapped package and hands it to Sasuke. He crosses his arms over his chest and watches the boy silently until he obliges and unwraps the first gift. When he pulls out the t-shirt, a replacement for the one he'd torn to shreds to wrap Kakashi's bleeding hands, Kakashi smiles at him, holding up his bandaged hands. "I knew how much you liked that shirt, and I felt bad for you ruining it to help with my little accident, so I knew I had to replace it."

Rather than answer, Sasuke closes the small distance between them, throwing his arms around Kakashi and hugging him fiercely. "I love you more than any damn t-shirt. I'd do it again if I had to, and be happy to do it."

On this happy note, the entire family settles in to opening gifts and celebrating the first family holiday with much laughter and tears, a smile on every face that wouldn't fade for days. After a couple of hours, Sasuke draws Kakashi out into the hall, away from the rest of the family and looks up into his eyes, smiling warmly.

"What is it Sasuke?"

"I just wanted to thank you."

"You don't need to thank me. It's Christmas after all."

"Not just for that. Thank you for saving me. Thank you for giving me a family. Thank you for loving me enough to allow me to find my way back to myself again."

"As I said, you don't need to thank me. I'd do it again and again, and be happy to do it."

Sasuke grins at him, then pushes up onto his toes, wrapping his arms around the back of Kakashi's neck. He pulls Kakashi down to his level, and as their lips meet, joy bursts through the both, a joy filled with the promise of a happy future filled with love.

* * *

**AN:** And thus ends my first novel. lol I'm serious, it's a novel! I was just curious, so I checked the word count on this story. 107, 377 words. In 43 chapters with 135 pages. (According to Open Office. lol)

I hope you all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Never mind all my complaints, I loved every single moment of writing this story. Even the intensely difficult and emotional chapters.

Thank you all for reading, and a special thank you to those that favorited my story. I'm so glad you enjoyed it that much. ;) As usual a very special thank you goes to all of those that took the time to review this story. Your kind words are always an inspiration to my muse, and kept me going even when I wasn't sure I was going to make it through to the end of this story.

On a side note, for those that have me on their watch list: I have a few funny Naruto one-shots that I have written, and a few more in the works that I may post here at some point in the not to distant future. But, it's likely to be quite some time before my next multiple chapter story is written and posted here because I have intentions of working with my two OCs Daitan and Kamoku for a while rather than doing any more fanfics. If you get tired of waiting, or are just curious as to what I'm up to, feel free to drop by DA and check out what I'm posting!


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